How to Write a Eulogy for Your School Friend - Eulogy Examples & Tips

You have to stand up and speak about someone who shaped your school years. Maybe you were best friends in middle school. Maybe you sat next to each other in sophomore biology and texted memes at midnight. Maybe you wore the same awkward haircut for five years together. Whatever your connection, writing a eulogy for a school friend is both terrifying and important. This guide gives you practical steps, language you can borrow, and real world examples that feel human and honest.

This is written for millennials who want to speak with truth and a little realness. You will find clear structure, examples you can adapt, tips for delivery, and guidance on things people rarely mention like humor boundaries and dealing with tears. We will define terms so nothing feels like insider funeral language. If you only take one thing away it should be this. You do not need to be perfect. You need to be present.

What a Eulogy Is and Why It Matters

Let us start with definitions. A eulogy is a short speech given at a funeral or memorial service that honors the life of the person who died. The word comes from Greek and means good words about someone. It is not an obituary. An obituary is a published notice of a death that includes basic facts like name, age, and service details. The eulogy is personal. The obituary is factual.

Why give a eulogy for a school friend? Because shared history is real history. School friendships are where identities form. Speaking about that relationship helps the room remember who the person was and gives listeners permission to grieve and to laugh. It also gives you a moment to say something you may never have said aloud before.

Quick Terms You Should Know

• Funeral A formal ceremony usually with the body present. It often follows religious or cultural rituals.
• Memorial A ceremony without the body present. It can be more flexible in tone.
• Wake A gathering before or after burial where people keep watch over the body or simply convene to remember.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. Pallbearer literally means person who bears a pall which is the cloth over the coffin.
• Obituary A brief public notice of a death, often published in newspapers or online.
• RSVP Stands for the French phrase répondez s il vous plaît which means please respond. It is used when hosts need a head count for a gathering. If someone asks you to RSVP let them know if you are attending the service or a reception that follows.

How Long Should a Eulogy Be

Short and clear is better than long and rambling. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is roughly 300 to 900 words when spoken at a conversational pace. If you have a more formal program or multiple speakers confirm the time limit with the person organizing the service. If you are unsure aim for closer to three minutes. Short speeches land with more intensity.

Before You Write: Practical Prep

Before you draft your lines, do these things.

• Ask who else is speaking so you do not repeat long stories. Coordinating prevents the room from hearing the same anecdote three times.
• Find a couple of specifics such as a favorite song, a school nickname, or a graduation detail. Concrete detail gives a eulogy weight.
• Decide the tone. Do you want the service to feel quiet and reflective, or honest and occasionally funny? Match your tone to the personality of your friend and the family s wishes.
• Check logistics. Confirm where you will stand, if there will be a microphone, and whether you can use notes or need to memorize parts of the speech.

A Simple Eulogy Structure You Can Steal

Use this structure as a skeleton. You can expand or compress each part based on time.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer a brief thank you to the family or host.
• How you met One line that sets the context of your relationship.
• Three memories or qualities Two to three short stories or concrete traits that capture the person.
• What they taught you One sentence about how they changed you or the group.
• Closing A final line to send the person off. This can be a wish, a short poem, a line from a song, or a simple goodbye.

How to Start Writing

Start with a single line that feels true. It can be as simple as I met Sam in chemistry class because he borrowed my calculator. That line becomes your spine. Build outward from that truth. If your first draft feels flat use the crime scene check described later to swap abstract statements for concrete images.

Writing drill you can try

Set a timer for ten minutes. Write four short memories about your friend without editing. Use present tense to make the memory vivid. When the timer ends choose the two that feel strongest. Those become your core anecdotes.

What to Include in a Eulogy for a School Friend

Good memories are great. Facts are useful. Here is a checklist.

• Who you are in relation to the deceased
• How you met and for how long you knew them
• One or two vivid stories that reveal character
• Their best qualities shown through actions not labels
• A reference to family or other important relationships if appropriate
• Something that invites the room to remember them in a practical way such as a favorite song to play or a charity to consider

What not to include

• Do not air private disputes or allegations. Keep the speech respectful of the deceased and their family.
• Avoid long inside jokes that most listeners will not get. Pick one small funny moment that will land for those who knew them.
• Do not read a social media post word for word unless the family asked you to. Personal voice matters more than copying a caption.

Examples You Can Use and Adapt

Below are multiple examples with different tones. Use them as templates. Replace names and details with your own facts and feelings.

Short and Sincere Eulogy for a Classmate

Hi. My name is Maya and I sat three rows behind Alex in sophomore English. Alex had a way of making the smallest things theatrical. He would recite the first line of any poem in a voice like he was auditioning for radio. The memory that sticks with me is the time he stayed after class to help a kid who had missed a week of school. He brought two pens, a stack of notes, and a ridiculous pun that somehow made algebra less terrifying. Alex was loyal in those tiny ways. He noticed when people were off and he showed up. I will miss his laugh and the way he made ordinary days feel like a story. Rest easy, Alex. I will speak your name loud enough for everyone to hear.

Longer Eulogy for a Best Friend from High School

Good afternoon. I am Jordan. I am honored and broken to stand here and say a few words about my friend Leila. We met on the first day of freshman orientation because neither of us could read the campus map. From that terrible map came a friendship full of midnight drives, failed attempts at baking, and a ritual of calling each other before every exam even when neither of us wanted to study. Leila had the rare talent of making you feel like the only person in the room even when there were twenty of us. Once she adopted a stray goldfish on a dare and spent a week arguing with it in a voice she reserved for serious philosophical debate. That goldfish outlived me at chess, I am certain of it.

But here is what mattered. Leila remembered birthdays in ways that made you feel like you had a private holiday. She fought for people who were easy to forget and she laughed in a way that made you laugh back before you understood why. When my dad was sick she was the first person to sit on my floor and let silence be company. She taught me how to be present. I am grateful for her rigor, her messy courage, and the playlists she made for bad days. Leila loved loud photos, loud coffee, and the quiet of early dawn. I do not have the words to fix that hole she left. I only have the stories and the promise to keep telling them. Thank you, Leila, for everything. We love you.

Light Touch Eulogy for a College Roommate with Humor

Hi. I am Sam. I lived with Max for two years and learned three things. One, do not steal his socks. Two, do not eat his labeled Tupperware. Three, always say yes to his dumb breakfast experiments. Max had a rule for our kitchen. If you burned the toast you had to write a sonnet apologizing to the toaster. He was somehow both the most earnest person I knew and the curator of chaos. He could make a microwave burrito taste like love. Max taught me that friendship could be ridiculous and steadfast at the same time. I will miss his ability to make the worst mornings bearable and the best nights unforgettable. Max, I promise to keep your sonnet tradition alive. Maybe I will even read one at your next bad breakfast in the sky.

Short Template You Can Fill In

Hello. I am [your name]. I met [friend s name] in [place]. One day they did [short anecdote]. That moment shows how they were [quality]. Another memory is [short anecdote]. What I learned from them is [what they taught you]. If you want to remember [friend s name] do [practical suggestion such as play a song, wear a color, or donate to a cause]. Goodbye [friend s name]. I will carry you with me.

How to Make Memories Feel Real Not Vague

Do the crime scene edit. This is a lightweight copy edit for memory. Replace general statements with sensory detail.

Not great I loved him. Better The smell of his cologne lingered on the bleachers after practice.

Not great She was kind. Better She showed up with mismatched socks and a backpack full of snacks whenever someone was having a bad day.

Small details like what someone wore, a specific phrase they said, the time of day, or an object that mattered will make listeners feel the person instead of just hearing a list of traits.

Using Humor Respectfully

Humor can be a gift. It can also feel callous if the timing is off. Use humor if the person used humor publicly and if family members are okay with it. Keep jokes short and rooted in affection. Avoid anything that could read as inside joke only for a few people. If you are unsure prioritize sincerity over punch lines.

Incorporating Quotes, Poems, and Song Lyrics

Quotes and short poems can be powerful signposts. If you read song lyrics check copyright rules. For informal services short quotes are usually fine. If you plan to print lyrics in a program or broadcast them you may need permission from the copyright holder or their publisher. When in doubt use a short poem or an original line. Original short lines are powerful because they are yours.

What If You Are Nervous About Speaking

Almost everyone trembles. Here is a practical plan.

• Print your speech in a large font and use a single page so you can hold it without shuffling papers.
• Mark pauses with slashes or bold words so you remember to breathe.
• Practice out loud three times. If you cry during practice that will make the real moment easier because you will know where it might hit.
• Bring a backup reader. Ask someone to stand by who can take over if you cannot continue. Tell the event organizer so they can facilitate the handoff if needed.
• Use a microphone if one s provided. It reduces the need to project and helps you speak at a conversational pace.

What to Do If You Cry on Stage

Crying is allowed and it is normal. Pause, take a breath, smile if it helps, then continue. If you cannot, step aside for a moment and hand your notes to your backup reader. People in the room understand that grief is messy. Your honesty will land as human and brave.

Practical Language for Awkward Moments

Sometimes the family asks you to speak and you are not close or you do not have a long list of memories. Here are quick phrases that feel solid.

• [Name] had a light that made people feel seen.
• We will all miss [name] for the small ways they made days better.
• I am grateful for the time I got with [name], even if it was brief.
• [Name] taught me that showing up matters.

Examples for Specific School Friend Types

For a Sports Teammate

We used to joke that Jenna could bench press her pep talk. On the field she made us faster because she believed we were. Her pregame rituals were ridiculous and specific. She taped the same sticker to every cleat. It made sense because she believed in tiny routines that helped big days feel possible. Jenna was competitive and generous. She stayed behind after practice to help freshmen with drills even when her own knees hurt.

For a Band or Choir Friend

Alex could find a harmony in the middle of chaos. He had the odd habit of humming under his breath in the hall between classes. The song he hummed became the soundtrack of our last year together. If you want to remember Alex, hum that tune for a minute and you will feel him in the room.

For a Friend You Drifted From

We stopped seeing each other after graduation but I never stopped rooting for Mira. Her text were rare and perfect. She sent the kind of messages that read like an embrace. When I think of her I think about the postcard she sent from a city I had never visited with three lines that changed my week. It is okay that we drifted. She mattered anyway.

Sample Full Length Eulogy You Can Customize

Hello everyone. My name is Casey and I was lucky enough to be Sam s friend since freshman year. Sam and I shared a locker a desk and a terrible sense of direction. We got lost together more than once which is where we found all the dumb adventures that made school feel bearable. The clearest memory I have is the weekend after finals when Sam dragged me to the park at dawn because he insisted the sunrise would fix everything. We sat on the swings drinking coffee and imagined ridiculous futures. He said loudly that he wanted to open a tiny bakery and name it after a made up pastry. I am still waiting for that croissant named Sam s Surprise. Sam had the habit of noticing small injustices. He would argue for extra time for a kid in class or bring a spare charger for someone who always forgot theirs. He had a laugh that started low and then took over a room. He loved terrible puns. He loved better people. What Sam taught me was to care in small practical ways and to commit to friends even when life was messy. If you want to remember Sam play early morning music. Make a bad pastry and share it. And laugh loudly for no reason. Goodbye Sam. I will miss you like only someone who knew your secret coffee order can miss you.

How to Close a Eulogy

Closings work best when they are simple. Here are options you can choose from.

• A direct goodbye such as Goodbye, [name]. We love you.
• A wish such as May you rest where mornings are gentle.
• A call to action such as In honor of [name] please consider donating to [charity]. Explain the charity briefly.
• A short line from a poem or song that the person loved. Keep it brief to avoid copyright issues in printed materials.

After the Eulogy: What Happens Next

People will come up to you. They will clap you on the shoulder. They may ask for more stories. That is okay. If you are overwhelmed tell them you will text them later. You can also ask the family if they want copies of what you read. Some families include eulogies in service booklets after the service.

Ethical Considerations and Privacy

Respect the family s wishes. If there are known sensitive details ask the family if it is okay to mention them. Do not reveal private medical details or legal information without consent. If the death involves difficult circumstances the family may prefer a focus on qualities and memories rather than events.

What to Do If You Are Asked to Speak Last Minute

Keep it short. Use the template below to produce a serviceable two minute speech in under an hour.

1. Write the opening who you are and how you know them.
2. Write one memory that shows character.
3. Write one sentence about what they taught you or what you will miss most.
4. Close with a simple goodbye.

Practice once and you are ready.

Tips for Recording or Live Streaming a Eulogy

Events are often recorded or live streamed. If you are being recorded speak slightly slower than normal. Consonants travel poorly in low quality audio so enunciate. If you are using a phone to hold your notes prop it so your eyes look natural. Use a printed page as backup in case the device fails.

How to Handle Cultural or Religious Differences

Different cultures and religions have different expectations about eulogies. Ask a family member or the officiant about customs. If you are part of a community that uses specific rituals such as offering incense or lighting a candle follow the guidance from the family. When in doubt be humble and ask.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

• Talking too long and losing the room s attention.
• Using only abstract adjectives with no stories to prove them.
• Sharing unverified or private information.
• Trying too hard to be funny when the mood calls for tenderness.
• Reading a long list of achievements without personal connection.

Action Plan You Can Use Right Now

1. Write one sentence that sums up your relationship to your friend.
2. Write three short memories. Pick the two that feel strongest.
3. Write one sentence about what you learned or what you will miss.
4. Draft an opening and a closing. Keep the total length to three to five minutes.
5. Practice aloud twice. Mark where you will breathe and where you might cry.
6. Bring printed notes and a backup reader if you need one.

FAQ

How do I start a eulogy if I do not know what to say

Start with who you are and how you knew the deceased. A simple opener like Hello, I am [name]. I was [friend s] classmate and friend for six years. then move to one memory. Anchoring with identity reduces pressure and gives the room context.

Is it OK to laugh while giving a eulogy

Yes. Laughter is a normal part of grief. If the person loved humor and the family is comfortable with it, a light laugh will feel honest. Keep jokes short and kind. If you cry after laughing that is fine. Authentic emotions are meaningful.

What if I do not feel close enough to give a eulogy

If you are asked to speak but do not feel close you can offer a short reflection such as I knew [name] from class and always appreciated how they greeted everyone. Keep your remarks brief and sincere or suggest that another person who was closer give the eulogy.

Can I read someone else s writing

Yes if you have permission. Many people choose to read a letter from a friend or a short passage the deceased wrote. If the piece was private check with the family before reading.

Do I need to memorize my eulogy

No. Reading from notes is perfectly acceptable. If you can memorize parts of it do so but do not force yourself. Holding a single page with large text is a reliable strategy.

How can I include music or visual elements

You can mention a song or photo in your closing and request it be played or shown. Coordinate with the family and the technical person running the service to ensure transitions are smooth. If a slideshow will play make sure your words match the images in tone and length.

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