This is where you tell the story of someone who mattered to you. Saying goodbye to a nephew is complicated. Maybe you were his safe person. Maybe you were the uncle or aunt who taught him to ride a bike. Maybe your relationship was messy and full of unfinished conversations. A eulogy gives you permission to speak love, memory, regret, gratitude, and sometimes a little laughter. This guide walks you through what to say, how to say it, and gives ready to use examples you can adapt.
Quick Links to Useful Sections
- What is a Eulogy
- Before You Start Writing
- Structure That Works
- Opening: Name, relationship, brief framing
- Middle: Two short stories or memories
- Close: What we carry forward and a goodbye line
- What to Include
- Tone: How Funny is Too Funny
- How to Handle Different Ages and Relationships
- Young child nephew
- Teenage nephew
- Adult nephew
- Nephew you were estranged from
- Eulogy Examples You Can Use
- Example 1: Young child nephew
- Example 2: Millennial nephew with casual tone
- Example 3: Adult nephew with faith notes
- Example 4: Estranged nephew
- Fill in the Blank Templates
- Template A: Short and personal
- Template B: Story driven
- Template C: Faith or ritual
- Practical Delivery Tips
- Words and Phrases That Work
- Language to Avoid Publicly
- Using Readings, Poems, and Lyrics
- Recording and Sharing Your Eulogy
- After the Eulogy
- Common Mistakes and Fixes
- Checklist Before You Walk Up
- Eulogy Examples You Can Copy Right Now
- Short example for immediate use
- Short for a funny but tender approach
- Frequently Asked Questions
Everything below is written for people who are grieving and who want direct, useful help without fluff. You will find structure, language prompts, full eulogy examples, fill in the blank templates, and practical delivery tips. I keep the tone honest and human. You do not need to be a writer to give a meaningful eulogy. You just need a few true stories and one clear idea of who your nephew was to you.
What is a Eulogy
A eulogy is a short speech given at a funeral or memorial that honors the life of the person who died. The word comes from the Greek for good words. It is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice, often published in a paper or online, that lists facts like name, age, date of death, survivors, and funeral details. A eulogy is personal. It shares memory and meaning.
Other terms you might hear are officiant and celebrant. An officiant is the person leading the service, often clergy. A celebrant is someone who leads a nonreligious service. If you run into acronyms like RSVP in planning, that just means respond please. If someone uses the word visitation they mean a time before the funeral to say hello to the family and view the body if that option is available.
Before You Start Writing
Take three small steps before you put pen to paper.
- Ask family what they want If the family has a specific tone request, know it. They may want a strictly spiritual service. They may want truth and humor. You are delivering memory into a communal space so check in.
- Pick your length goal Aim for five to eight minutes. Five minutes can feel long when you are crying. Eight minutes is enough to tell two stories and say goodbye. If the event has time constraints ask the organizer how long you should plan for.
- Decide who will read too If you plan to share the text online later say that aloud while you are planning. Some families want the words saved and shared. Others prefer the spoken moment remain intimate.
Structure That Works
A simple structure keeps you grounded and helps the audience stay with you. Use this three act pattern.
Opening: Name, relationship, brief framing
Start with the name and how you are connected. People need that anchor. Then give one sentence that frames your talk. The frame could be a trait like generous, stubborn, funny, or curious. Example opening line: My name is Dana and I am Benji's aunt. Benji loved making things. That sentence sets a promise. Your words will show what making things meant for him.
Middle: Two short stories or memories
Pick one small event that shows character. Pick another memory that shows impact. Keep each story to about one to two minutes when spoken. Use sensory details. Say what happened and what it revealed about your nephew. Avoid listing many achievements. Stories stick because they contain a moment someone can imagine.
Close: What we carry forward and a goodbye line
End with what you will remember and a final line that feels like a hug. That line can be a quote, a short blessing, a lyric, or a directive like keep his coffee mug on the shelf. Finish with an invitation. You can invite the room to take a quiet minute, to laugh for a memory, or to pass along stories later.
What to Include
Here is a checklist you can use as you draft.
- Full name and age and where appropriate a nickname explained. Nicknames are useful because they feel personal.
- How you knew him Short and clear. Was he your sister's son, your brother's son, your close friend turned family.
- One or two defining traits Say them plainly. Examples are generous, restless, a funny prankster, a fierce protector, quiet observer, or proud maker.
- Two short anecdotes Keep each to one paragraph. Concrete detail beats summary.
- What he taught you or the family This is the meaning part. It shows impact.
- Optional a favorite quote, song lyric, poem line, or religious passage. If it is a verse from a song make sure you have permission to quote it publicly if the service will be recorded and distributed.
- A closing invitation This might be a moment of silence, an encouragement to share memories after, or a simple goodbye.
Tone: How Funny is Too Funny
Humor is okay. In fact humor helps. Laughter can be a pressure release valve and it keeps memory alive. The rule is to be kind. Avoid humor that would embarrass the family or that makes light of serious struggles in a way that feels dismissive. If your nephew loved a certain joke then a brief recall of that joke can feel right. If you are unsure run any funny line by a close family member first.
How to Handle Different Ages and Relationships
Context matters. Below are common situations and how to adapt your words for each.
Young child nephew
When a child dies the world feels fundamentally wrong. Be gentle and very concrete. Mention the games he loved, the stuffed toy, the way he said a certain word. Avoid trying to find a spiritual explanation unless the family asked for that. Give permission to feel anger and confusion in addition to grief. Example last line could be I will hold your hand in my heart while I try to learn how to be brave for both of us.
Teenage nephew
Teenage years can be messy. Mention his ambitions and the things that revealed his personality. If he struggled with mental health or addiction check with family about how much to say. You can honor his struggles and still celebrate his spark. Consider including a line about how his generation changed things, or how his playlists said a lot about him, if that reflects reality.
Adult nephew
Adult relationships often mean shared adult memories. If you traveled together or fought about politics or built projects together those stories can be rich. Mention roles he held like father, partner, team member, and whether he was a maker, fixer, or storyteller. Adults leave legacies so name one practical habit people can keep to remember him.
Write a clear, meaningful eulogy, without guesswork. This guide turns a difficult task into a manageable, step-by-step process so you can honor your loved one with accuracy, warmth, and confidence.
What you’ll learn
- How to gather the right memories and facts (fast)
- How to choose a structure for 3, 5–8, or 10+ minutes
- How to balance biography, story, and reflection, without oversharing
- How to match tone to audience (secular or faith-inclusive)
What’s inside
- Proven frameworks: time-boxed outlines you can follow line by line
- Real examples: concise, adaptable samples that show “what good looks like”
- Fill-in-the-blank template: personalize and produce a polished draft in one sitting
- Editing checklist: trim to time, tighten language, avoid common pitfalls
- Delivery playbook: rehearsal plan, pacing, and on-the-day prompts to steady your voice
Outcome: A respectful, well-structured eulogy that sounds like you, honors them, and supports everyone listening.
Write with clarity. Speak with confidence. Honor a life well.
Nephew you were estranged from
If your relationship was distant or complicated you still have a role. You can be honest without offering a public apology that upstages the memorial. A safe approach is to name the distance and offer a brief memory that humanizes him. Example line: We were not close for a while. When we did talk he always asked about my dog and somehow made me laugh. Say your truth and then step back so other voices can be heard.
Eulogy Examples You Can Use
Below are full sample eulogies for different situations. Use these as templates. Change names, details, and the closing line to make them yours. Each sample is written so it can be read in about five minutes once paced with pauses for emotion.
Example 1: Young child nephew
My name is Mira and I am Leo's aunt. Leo was three years old when he filled our lives with fast feet and louder laughs. He loved cars and cereal and asking why about everything. One morning he decided the cat was actually a dog and tried to teach her to fetch. She did not fetch. He did not care. He kept teaching.
On my last visit he held my finger and declared I am a dragon tamer because I knew where the cookies were hidden. That is exactly the kind of imagination that made ordinary things feel big. When he was scared he wanted one song sung to him. I promise I will forget how to multitask if it means I can still sing that silly tune in my head and feel him safer for a second.
Leo taught us to be more patient and to take games seriously. He showed us that small rituals can mean everything. As we leave today I want to invite anyone who has a story about Leo's laugh to come forward and tell it to someone else. Keep a cookie jar in your kitchen and leave it half full for the dragon tamers in the world.
Example 2: Millennial nephew with casual tone
Hey everyone. I am Nate. I am Sam's cousin and sometimes his partner in bad ideas. Sam had the kind of laugh that made a room quieter and then louder all at once. He could fix a bike chain with a coffee stirrer and he spent more time explaining his obscure playlists than answering texts. When Sam said he was going to try something he meant it. He signed up for that pottery class that none of us thought he would keep. He showed up and kept going.
There was one summer when Sam decided to learn to cook. He burned more things than he made but the first time he nailed a dish he shrieked like he had discovered electricity. We ate it from paper plates under string lights and pretended it was a five star meal. That is what he did. He turned effort into celebration. He made us treat small wins like they mattered.
So today we are sad. We are also here because Sam taught us to try and to laugh while doing it. If you have a recipe from him save it. If you have a playlist play it loud. And if you are thinking about a project you keep postponing do it now. Make a little mess. Sam would tell you that is the point.
Example 3: Adult nephew with faith notes
My name is Jorge. I am Rosa's brother and Miguel's uncle. Miguel led with a quiet faith. He believed in showing up in small ways. He taught Sunday school and took his niece and nephew to the park whenever he had a free hour. He was generous with both his tools and his time.
An image I will carry is Miguel with his worn coat sleeves rolled up, teaching his daughter to plant tomatoes. He talked to those seedlings like they were people who needed encouragement. I know that love for life and for growing things was an expression of his faith. For those who prayed with him we can carry that practice forward by tending something alive in his memory.
Write a clear, meaningful eulogy, without guesswork. This guide turns a difficult task into a manageable, step-by-step process so you can honor your loved one with accuracy, warmth, and confidence.
What you’ll learn
- How to gather the right memories and facts (fast)
- How to choose a structure for 3, 5–8, or 10+ minutes
- How to balance biography, story, and reflection, without oversharing
- How to match tone to audience (secular or faith-inclusive)
What’s inside
- Proven frameworks: time-boxed outlines you can follow line by line
- Real examples: concise, adaptable samples that show “what good looks like”
- Fill-in-the-blank template: personalize and produce a polished draft in one sitting
- Editing checklist: trim to time, tighten language, avoid common pitfalls
- Delivery playbook: rehearsal plan, pacing, and on-the-day prompts to steady your voice
Outcome: A respectful, well-structured eulogy that sounds like you, honors them, and supports everyone listening.
Write with clarity. Speak with confidence. Honor a life well.
Miguel's life reminds us that service is often quiet and practical. We can emulate that feeling by being present in small ways for the people around us. I want to invite you now to plant something in his memory, perhaps a small tree or a herb garden. Let that be our way of saying thank you.
Example 4: Estranged nephew
My name is Claire and I was Jack's aunt. I wish our last years had been different. Jack and I drifted apart when he moved across the country. Still I remember the boy who made rocket ships out of cardboard boxes. He had a stubborn streak that kept him trying things others gave up on. The last conversation we had was short and clumsy. He told me about a song he loved and I listened badly. I regret that.
Even in the gap there were moments that were undeniably Jack. He loved late night conversations and he was loyal to a few friends in a way that mattered. I stand here without easy answers. I offer only memory and repentance. I ask that we hold the contradiction. We can remember his warmth and also the ways we could have been kinder. Grief does not fix time but it can teach us to be braver with each other going forward.
If you knew Jack and want to share a story please do. He was bigger than the distance. Let us not let that be the only thing we say about him.
Fill in the Blank Templates
Copy these and fill the blanks aloud. Each template aims for a five minute read when spoken calmly.
Template A: Short and personal
My name is [Your Name] and I am [Nephew Name] uncle or aunt. [Nephew Name] had a way of [one trait]. I remember the time when [brief story showing the trait]. That moment showed me that [what the moment taught you]. I will keep [what you will carry forward]. Thank you [Nephew Name] for [final line].
Template B: Story driven
Hello. I am [Your Name]. [Nephew Name] loved [one hobby or object]. Once we [short anecdote]. The thing that sticks with me is [detail]. It taught me that [meaning]. I want to close by inviting you to [action to remember them].
Template C: Faith or ritual
My name is [Your Name]. In our family prayer or ritual meant a lot. [Nephew Name] practiced that by [example]. Because of that I will [how you will honor his memory]. We ask [closing blessing or request].
Practical Delivery Tips
Speaking while grieving is hard. Below are practical moves that make it easier to get through your reading and to make it easier for listeners to follow you.
- Print one page Put your text on one page. Use large font. People who are emotional tend to lose page turns. One page reduces micro panic.
- Mark pauses Put a blank line or the single word pause between paragraphs so you know when to breathe.
- Practice out loud Read once alone and once for a trusted friend or family member. The practice will help you find natural pacing and will identify any awkward phrasing.
- Use index cards if needed Put headlines on cards like Opening Memory Closing so if you lose your place you can scan the card and jump back in.
- If you cry Slow your breathing. Place a hand on your chest and say I need a second. People will give you time. You can also hand the mic to someone else if you need a break.
- Microphone tips Hold the mic about two inches from your mouth. Speak slowly. Keep your eyes on one friendly face in the audience when you need steadiness.
- Time check Ask the officiant before you begin if there is a firm time limit. If so pace your reading on the first practice so you know the length.
Words and Phrases That Work
Below are short lines you can borrow without sounding scripted.
- He loved a good challenge and then made it a story.
- She had a way of making small things feel important.
- He taught me to show up even when it was hard.
- We will carry this memory with us in the quiet places.
- If you are wondering how to honor him do something kind for someone else in his name.
Language to Avoid Publicly
In a funeral setting some phrasing can unintentionally shift attention or create discomfort. Consider avoiding the following unless the family specifically requests them.
- Graphic details about the death
- Blame heavy statements about other people
- Long theological arguments if the service is interfaith or secular
- Private grievances and social media style callouts
Using Readings, Poems, and Lyrics
Poems and lyrics can add shape to a eulogy. If you read a lyric remember that songs may be under copyright. For a private service you are usually fine. If the service will be broadcast or recorded consult the organizer about permissions. Short quotes from published works are often acceptable to read aloud in many locations but if the text will appear in printed materials check with the family first.
Recording and Sharing Your Eulogy
People often ask about recording the eulogy for family members who cannot attend. Ask permission before recording the service. Some venues will record professionally. If you plan to share your text online after the service offering to provide a written copy helps those who prefer to read. If you post audio or video do so with sensitivity to family wishes and privacy.
After the Eulogy
Once you finish there will be a mix of relief and emptiness. That is normal. Give yourself space. Eat something. Find a quiet friend to sit with. If people approach you to talk know that you do not have to answer everything. You can say thank you for sharing that memory and then ask for a few minutes alone if needed.
Consider saving the eulogy text in a document and sending a copy to the family if they want it. Some families collect readings into remembrance booklets. If you have recordings make sure everyone who needs a copy can get one.
Common Mistakes and Fixes
Even in the best of intentions mistakes happen. Here are a few common ones and how to fix them before you deliver.
- Too many facts People do not need a resume. Swap a list of events for two stories that illustrate character.
- Over explaining Grief does not require tidy conclusions. If you catch yourself explaining the meaning of something too fully stop and let an image stand on its own.
- Trying to be funny all the time Use humor as seasoning not the main course.
- Overly formal language Speak the way you speak to people you love. Authenticity matters more than perfect diction.
Checklist Before You Walk Up
- Confirm time limit with the officiant
- Bring a printed copy and a backup on your phone
- Wear comfortable clothing that lets you breathe
- Have water available nearby
- Tell one person you trust that you might pass the mic if you need to stop
Eulogy Examples You Can Copy Right Now
These shorter scripts are quick to adapt. Each fits into a two to three minute talk.
Short example for immediate use
My name is [Your Name]. I am [Nephew]'s aunt or uncle. [Nephew] loved to collect small things. He kept them in jars and announced their importance like they were treasures. He taught me that attention makes things matter. I will miss his careful heart and the way he celebrated small victories. Rest now. We will carry you forward by noticing the little things again.
Short for a funny but tender approach
Hi everyone. I am [Your Name] and I was [Nephew]'s partner in crime. He had a talent for turning grocery runs into epics and for misplacing three wallets at once. He also had a huge capacity for loyalty. If he called you his person he meant it. Thank you, [Nephew], for keeping our days brighter. We will remember you with a laugh and a good steadying heart.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long should a eulogy for a nephew be
Five minutes is a strong default. It allows you to tell two short stories, say what he meant, and close. Shorter is fine. If you are uncomfortable aim for two to three minutes. If you have permission to be longer keep your eye on the room and the service schedule.
What if I am not a good public speaker
Practice out loud twice. Use simple language. Bring a friend to stand with you. It is okay to hand the microphone to someone else if you cannot continue. People will understand. They came for the memory not the performance.
Can I include jokes
Yes if they feel true and kind. Brief, affectionate humor often honors the person better than a perfectly solemn tone. When in doubt ask a close family member what feels safe to say.
Who else should speak
Often immediate family, close friends, or a partner speak. If there are many people who want to say something consider a memory sharing time separate from the eulogy so more voices can be heard in smaller segments.
Write a clear, meaningful eulogy, without guesswork. This guide turns a difficult task into a manageable, step-by-step process so you can honor your loved one with accuracy, warmth, and confidence.
What you’ll learn
- How to gather the right memories and facts (fast)
- How to choose a structure for 3, 5–8, or 10+ minutes
- How to balance biography, story, and reflection, without oversharing
- How to match tone to audience (secular or faith-inclusive)
What’s inside
- Proven frameworks: time-boxed outlines you can follow line by line
- Real examples: concise, adaptable samples that show “what good looks like”
- Fill-in-the-blank template: personalize and produce a polished draft in one sitting
- Editing checklist: trim to time, tighten language, avoid common pitfalls
- Delivery playbook: rehearsal plan, pacing, and on-the-day prompts to steady your voice
Outcome: A respectful, well-structured eulogy that sounds like you, honors them, and supports everyone listening.
Write with clarity. Speak with confidence. Honor a life well.