How to Write a Eulogy for Your Housemate - Eulogy Examples & Tips

You loved living with someone and now you have to speak about them in front of people. That is raw. That is heavy. If you are a millennial who shared rent, chores, playlists, and bad late night decisions with someone you cared about you still deserve a clear way to put that life into words. This guide gives you structure, language, and ready to use examples that sound real and not like a weird scripted obituary. You will find step by step writing tips, what to avoid, how to deliver when you are crying, and eulogy templates you can adapt for any vibe from serious to gently funny.

We write like the people we live with. We keep it honest, grounded, and human. Each term we use is explained so you never have to Google while the ceremony is starting. Below you will find examples you can use as a template or as sparks to help your own memory do the heavy lifting.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech given at a funeral or memorial service that celebrates someone who has died. It is not an obituary. An obituary is a written announcement that often appears in a newspaper or online that lists basic facts about a person and funeral details. A eulogy is personal. It is memory shaped into meaning. It can be warm, funny, tender, clear, or all of those at once. Think of it as a short guided tour of why that person mattered to you and to the people in the room.

What you say will depend on who is organizing the ceremony and on the wishes of the family. If the family has asked you to speak, you are allowed to shape the tone. If you volunteered on the spot, keep it brief and meaningful. If someone else is delivering the official service, your words may be part of a longer program. Check the logistics early.

Who usually gives a eulogy for a housemate

Family members often give eulogies. That said many open and modern households choose a housemate to speak because they shared daily life in a way family members did not see. A housemate might be asked to speak by family or they might be invited by you to address friends at a wake or a memorial gathering. If you are chosen it is because your presence mattered to the person who died. That is enough to give a good eulogy.

Practical first steps before you write

• Check with the family or officiant. Ask about time limits, religious or cultural practices, and if there are specific topics to avoid. An officiant is the person leading the service. They might be a clergy person, a celebrant, or a family friend. Respect their guidance.
• Set a time limit. A good housemate eulogy is usually two to five minutes long. Two minutes covers the essentials. Five minutes lets you tell a spot on story. Longer can be great if you are a practiced public speaker and the family wants that. If you need a hard rule aim for three minutes.
• Collect memories. Text old messages, look at photos, talk to mutual friends. Ask what small rituals, songs, or jokes defined them. Concrete details are thousand times better than vague praise.
• Decide the tone. Do you want quiet and reflective, or honest with a laugh in it, or a mix? If the person loved blunt humor a tender eulogy that includes a wink can land. If the death is fresh or traumatic ask family whether humor is appropriate.
• Write an outline first. Start with a one line summary of who they were to you. Use that as the spine of the eulogy.

How to structure a eulogy for a housemate

Structure helps your words do work. Use a simple three part shape that listeners can follow. It keeps you grounded when the tears come.

Opening

One sentence that names the person and states your relationship. Say you are a housemate and how long you lived together. Thank the family or the person leading the service if needed. Example opening lines are below in the example section. Keep it short and real.

Body

Two to four short stories or memories that show who they were. Choose scenes that reveal personality not a resume. Show them making tea at 2 a.m. Show a tiny ritual. Give context quickly and keep each story to one to three sentences. Use sensory detail. Mention what they did and how it felt to be around them.

Closing

Tie the stories to a single idea about the person. End with a goodbye line, a wish, a quote they loved, or a call to carry one small habit forward. Finish with thanks to listeners and an invitation if you will be staying to talk after.

What to say in a housemate eulogy

Housemates live in the small stuff. That is your advantage. The best eulogies show a pattern of life through tiny, human things. Here are categories and phrases that help you build real lines quickly.

• Daily rituals such as a signature breakfast, a podcast they played, a plant they always forgot to water, or a coffee mug with an attitude. These detail anchor a life in minutes a listener can picture.
• Kindness in action like showing up with soup when you were sick or taking your shift to let you sleep. Specific acts beat general praise.
• Humor and nicknames. If they had a house persona use it. A nickname reveals belonging. Keep it respectful if family is present.
• Quirks that felt like love such as the way they labeled food, or rearranged the fridge, or argued about the thermostat. These are relatable and often funny in an affectionate way.
• What they loved whether it was a band, a sport, a recipe, or a cause. Mentioning this helps others relate and can prompt shared memories afterwards.

Start strong. Easy opening lines you can use

Openings should name the person and your role. Keep the first lines simple so you can breathe and find the voice.

• Hi I am [your name]. I lived with [name] for three years and I was their housemate and unpaid therapist.
• My name is [your name]. We shared a tiny kitchen, a loud Spotify account, and a lot of late night talk. I want to say a few things about [name].
• Hello everyone. I am [your name]. When [name] moved in with me I did not know my life would become 70 percent better coffee and 30 percent more chaos. That is where I want to start.

All of those open with warmth and a touch of humor. Adjust the tone to match the person. If the service is formal pick the straight forward approach. If it is casual you can be more conversational.

How to write your stories

Pick three memory types and write one line for each. Grab the first image that comes to you then polish. Keep verbs active. Imagine a camera watching and write the small actions.

Example memory prompts

• Describe a single scene you shared in physical detail. Where were you, what time of day was it, what sound did the space make?
• Describe something they did that felt like love but was quiet.
• Describe a time they made you laugh in an unexpected way.

Turn each prompt into a 20 to 60 second story. One sentence of setup and one sentence of payoff is often enough. Avoid long flashbacks. The goal is to show character with a small picture.

Example eulogies you can adapt

Below are templates and full examples. Use them as scaffolding. Change names, swap details, and make them yours.

Short and sweet housemate eulogy template 1 to 2 minutes

Opening line that names you and your relationship.

One memory about a small ritual that shows who they were.

One sentence about their kindness or the way they made the house feel like home.

Closing line that ties to a single idea and a goodbye.

Example

Hello I am Maya. I lived with Tom for two years and he taught me how to make scrambled eggs without killing the vibe. Tom had a habit of leaving a single spoon in the living room and somehow it always became a conversation starter. The small things like a random spoon or a late night playlist made our place feel like a real home. I will miss his laugh in the kitchen and the way he left sticky notes with bad puns on the fridge. Friend, I hope you finally find a coffee mug that does not go missing. Thank you.

Three minute housemate eulogy with a mix of humor and heart

Opening line that identifies you and sets the tone.

Two short stories one funny one tender.

A quick list of a few character traits stated plainly.

A closing ritual or quote they liked and a goodbye.

Example

Hi I am Jamal. I was both Oliver's housemate and his neighbor across the hall for the past five years. Oliver had a playlist for every mood and a legendary inability to buy only what he came to the store for. Once he returned from the shop with three kinds of jam because he could not decide. That jam powered many late night study sessions and at least one very experimental pizza. More seriously Oliver had a way of making space for people. If your day was bad he would offer you a pair of socks and a thermos of tea like that was the cure. He taught me that you can be messy and also deeply generous at the same time. Oliver liked to end the day with the line from a movie he loved. He would say I am ready when the credits rolled. So Oliver I am calling your name now. We are ready to remember you and to carry that warmth forward. Thank you for everything.

Longer eulogy example 4 to 6 minutes with deeper reflection

Opening that names your relationship and how long you lived together.

Three to four stories that build a theme. Use one paragraph per story.

A reflection that ties the stories into a lesson or a memory you will carry.

Close with a reading or a short quote and an invitation.

Example

Good afternoon I am Alex and I shared an apartment with Nina for four years. When Nina moved in she brought three plants and the exact kind of disorder that makes a place feel inhabited rather than staged. She had a system for everything even if that system looked like sticky notes on a window. My first memory is of her on a rainy Tuesday teaching me how to make a perfect grilled cheese. She would stack two cheeses like she was solving a geometry problem and then she would flip the sandwich with a kind of dramatic theatricality you do not expect from someone who worked spreadsheets for a living. The sandwich came out perfect and so did the evening because we sat and talked about small failures and the kind of ambitions that feel silly to confess at twenty eight. Another memory is when my mom was sick and Nina showed up with soup and a playlist of songs that reminded her of sunny days. She did not try to fix anything. She just made the room softer. A third memory is less tidy. We had a fight about dishes and then the next morning she left a note on the stove that said sorry and also that I owed her a night off of washing up. She left a single dried lavender flower under the note which was such Nina. Those stories show a person who cared in both big gestures and tiny recurring habits. To me Nina taught that home is less a building and more a practice of noticing. We practiced that with her and we will carry it on. I want to finish with a line she loved from a poet she read out loud whenever we needed it: Keep the small light on. Nina would want us to keep that light on for each other. Thank you.

How to write about deaths that are complicated

Sometimes the cause of death will be difficult to speak about. If it was unexpected, violent, caused by substance use, or by suicide choose your words carefully and prioritize the wishes of the family.

• If the family is public about cause they will let you know. If they are private do not disclose details out of respect.
• If the death was by overdose or suicide use language that is non judgmental and sensitive. Say died by overdose or died by suicide rather than died from drugs or killed themselves. The phrasing died by avoids blaming language. If you are not sure how to phrase it ask the family or the officiant.
• If you are speaking as a friend about suicide consider mentioning resources. For example mention that anyone struggling can reach out to a local crisis line or to 988 in the United States. This can help people listening who may be in trouble right now.
• Do not try to explain the death. Do not guess at motives. Your job is to remember the person not to diagnose them.

Using humor in a eulogy and when it is okay

Humor can be healing when it belongs to the person who died. If your housemate was someone who made jokes and used humor as a way of connecting a funny line will feel true. If the family is sensitive avoid anything that could sound like mocking.

Two rules to use humor safely

• Make the humor about your shared experience not the death. Jokes that highlight a habit the person had are usually safer.
• Avoid sarcasm that could be read as cruel. If you are in doubt leave the joke out.

Example of a safe joke

[Name] never locked the bike that often they forgot to lock the front door. If you ever needed a spare key you just guessed which sock their cat hated and it worked. They taught us that trust looks different in different houses.

Words and phrases to avoid

There are phrases that sound like comfort but can be hurtful. Try to avoid language that dismisses grief or that puts a deadline on sorrow.

• Avoid sayings like It was meant to be or They are in a better place if you are not sure the family uses that language.
• Avoid over spiritualizing the death unless the family has indicated that is appropriate.
• Avoid listing achievements like a CV. This is not a job review. Focus on who they were rather than what they did professionally unless the work mattered to them in a way that reflects character.

Delivery tips when you are speaking

Practice is everything. Nobody expects perfection. They expect sincerity.

• Practice out loud at least three times. Say the full text to yourself while standing. If you cry that is okay. Practice will teach your body how to breathe through it.
• Print it large on one page. Use big font so you do not have to squint. Cue words are fine. You do not need to memorize everything.
• Bring water. Keep a small bottle nearby in case you need to take a breath.
• Pause between sentences. Silence is a tool. A short pause gives people time to feel with you.
• Use names. Saying the person name often invites connection. Your voice will crack and that is human.
• Plan for emotion. If you think you will not be able to finish arrange for a friend to step in. Tell them the cue phrase like If I cannot continue take my place and they will know when to stand.

When you cannot speak in public

If delivering a speech feels impossible there are other meaningful ways to contribute.

• Write a letter that the family can read or keep. A letter can be posted online as a tribute or included in a memory book.
• Record an audio message or a short video that can be played at the gathering.
• Lead a group memory where people are invited to say a one sentence memory as a communal ritual.
• Create a small ritual like lighting a candle, making a playlist, or preparing a signature dish that will be served at the wake. That action can be more powerful than a speech for some people.

Checklist before you go to the service

• Confirm time limit and any family requests with the officiant.
• Print your speech on one page in large font and bring a backup copy on your phone.
• Practice reading it out loud timed to three to five minutes depending on your limit.
• Decide if you will use humor and mark the joke parts so you do not rush them.
• Tell a friend you trust that you will speak. Ask them to give you a hand if you need it.
• Wear comfortable clothes. Being physically comfortable helps with emotional control.

How to close the eulogy

End with a single line that lands. Avoid multiple endings. It confuses the emotional arc. The last line can be a wish, a short quote, an invitation, or a farewell. Keep it direct and speak slowly.

Examples of closing lines

• Rest easy [name]. We will carry your playlist and your terrible plant care with us.
• May we all hold on to that habit of making tea for friends like you did.
• Goodbye for now. We will meet in every kitchen and laugh there the way you would have wanted.

Sample eulogy templates you can copy and paste

Template 1 quick draft 90 to 120 seconds

Hi my name is [your name]. I lived with [name] for [length of time]. I want to tell you two small things that show who they were. First [short memory in one sentence]. Second [short memory in one sentence]. In everything they did they gave small acts of care that felt like sunlight. I will miss [name] and I am grateful for the time we had. Thank you.

Template 2 slightly longer sensitive 2 to 4 minutes

Hello I am [your name] and I shared a home with [name] for [length]. [Name] had a way of [one trait such as making people laugh or always seeing the messy beauty of life]. One night [describe short story]. Another time [describe a short tender story]. Those moments add up to a life that taught me [what you learned]. If you would like to join me after this service I will be at [location] and I would love to share a cup of tea and swap favorite songs of [name]. Thank you for being here with us.

Template 3 for complicated deaths where you want to keep private 2 to 3 minutes

Good afternoon I am [your name] and I lived with [name]. There are things about [name] life that are complicated and private so I will keep this short and focus on the person I knew in our home. [Share one small story]. [Share second small story]. [Conclude with a practical note or a short memory line]. Thank you for letting me speak.

After you speak

People will come up to you after and say things you may not be ready to hear. Prepare for simple responses.

Good responses you can use

• Thank you. That means a lot.
• We told each other a lot of silly things and I will miss that.
• I am honored to have shared that space with them.

If someone asks for more detail and you do not feel like sharing set a boundary. Say I would rather talk about that later and then offer to meet another time. Grief is exhausting and you are allowed to protect your energy.

How to make a printed copy for the service

Give the family a printed version to include in a memory book or to hand out. Use one page only unless the family asks for more. Print in a readable font like Arial or Georgia and use at least 12 point size. Add a small photo if you have permission but do not add long biographical lists. Keep it personal.

Common questions people ask

How long should a eulogy be

Two to five minutes is common. Two minutes is enough to leave a clean memory image. Three minutes is a sweet spot. Five minutes allows storytelling with a reflective close. If the family asks for a different length follow them. Timing respects other people who are speaking and the flow of the service.

Can I read from my phone

Yes. Reading from your phone is fine if you make the text large and airplane mode is on. Phones can be bright so set the screen to low brightness. Some people prefer printed paper because it feels more formal but do what makes you steady.

What if I start crying and cannot continue

Stop and breathe. It is okay to pause. You can say I need a moment and then take a sip of water. If you cannot continue a friend can step up with a brief line such as I will finish for them and then read the closing sentence you agreed on. People understand grief. Having a backup plan removes pressure.

Should I mention the cause of death

Only if the family has said it is okay or asks you to. When in doubt do not disclose private medical details. The eulogy is memory based. Focus on character and stories more than cause unless the family wants honest transparency.

Can multiple housemates speak

Yes. If multiple people shared the home coordinate so you do not repeat the same stories. Pick different angles. One person can talk about everyday life another about the humor and another about the kindness. Keep each speaker to a time limit so the service keeps moving.

FAQ Schema