How to Write a Eulogy for Your Godmother - Eulogy Examples & Tips

This guide is for anyone who has been given the honor and the responsibility to speak about their godmother. Maybe you are panicking about what to say. Maybe you want to tell the truth without making your family angry. Maybe you are a millennial who texts more than talks and you are wondering how to turn messy memories into a tribute that feels real. You are not alone.

We will walk through practical steps to prepare, structure, and deliver a eulogy your godmother would recognize. You will find examples you can adapt, fill in the blanks templates, and tips for reading when you are crying. We will also explain any terms that might be new so nothing is confusing. This is your no nonsense playbook for saying something honest, memorable, and respectful.

What is a eulogy and how is it different from an obituary

Eulogy is the speech or tribute given at a funeral or memorial service to honor a person who died. Obituary is a short public notice, often published in a newspaper or online, that announces a death and summarizes key facts and survivors. The eulogy is personal and emotional. The obituary is factual and practical. Your role as a eulogy speaker is to add history, heart, and perspective that an obituary cannot convey.

Officiant or celebrant means the person leading the service. If someone says talk to the officiant they mean coordinate about timing and order of service. If your godmother had a faith tradition the officiant may be a priest, minister, rabbi, imam, or a professional celebrant who leads nonreligious services. If any of those terms are new, ask the family for clarification.

Decide if you should speak

First step is to confirm you are the right person and that you want to do it. Being the godchild is an honor but it is not mandatory to speak. Ask yourself these questions.

• Did my godmother want certain people to speak? Sometimes wishes are known. Honor them.
• Do I feel able to organize memories into something I can say aloud? If yes you can do this. If no consider writing a letter to be read by someone else.
• Will speaking help me grieve and honor her, or will it be overwhelming in a way that hurts more than helps?

If you decide not to speak your contribution can still be meaningful. You can write a short letter, record a video, or provide printed cards for the service. If you choose to speak and you are nervous we will give you methods to make it manageable.

How long should a eulogy be

Keep it short and intentional. Two to eight minutes is a good target. Two minutes can be powerful. Eight minutes is long enough to tell a few stories without losing focus. If you are speaking at a larger service where multiple people are on the program check with the family or the officiant about time limits.

Gather memories and materials

Before writing, collect concrete material. This is where the work pays off. Specific details make a eulogy feel alive. Ask these questions and jot answers down.

• What are the three strongest memories that show who she was? Pick one memory for humor or lightness, one for character, and one for what she taught you.
• What made her laugh? What annoyed her in a way the family all knows? Small human things matter.
• Are there objects that represented her? A worn recipe card, a cardigan, a particular mug, a garden tool, a song?
• What roles did she play in life? Mother figure, mentor, friend, activist, cook, hobbyist.
• Are there dates or facts you should confirm? Birth year, work history, major achievements. You do not have to include everything. Accuracy matters for the basics.

Talk to family members and friends. Ask for stories. When someone starts a sentence with I always remember, write it down. Those lines are often the best material. If any family dynamics are tense clarify what is off limits. You want to honor the person without creating new conflict.

Choose a tone

Tone matters more than length. You can be warm, humorous, irreverent but respectful, formal, or spiritual. Match the tone to the service and to your godmother.

• Keep humor gentle. If you are using jokes choose ones that the majority will appreciate.
• If the family wants a religious service follow that tone. Use scriptures or prayers familiar to the group.
• If you want honest moments that include complexity that is fine. Avoid airing family grievances. Focus on how the person lived rather than on private conflict.

Structure options that work

Pick one of these structures and fill it with your memories. Structure keeps your audience oriented and makes the message feel complete.

Structure A: Memory arc

• Opening line that identifies your relationship and why you are speaking.
• One or two short stories that show character and life lessons.
• Reflection on what she meant to you and others.
• Closing line that thanks the audience or offers a short wish for remembrance.

Structure B: Thematic approach

• Pick one theme such as kindness, stubbornness, hospitality, or resilience.
• Open with the theme and a short example.
• Offer two additional examples from different times in her life.
• End by explaining how the theme lives on in you or the community.

Structure C: Chronological with a twist

• Brief life summary facts early on for context.
• Move through early life, middle life, and later life with a standout memory from each era.
• Finish with a present day reflection on legacy.

Open strong: what to say at the start

The first sentence sets the tone. It can be a short memory, a line of gratitude, or a tiny story. Examples you can borrow and adapt.

• Good morning. My name is Emma and I was lucky to be Maria present as her godchild for thirty two years.
• When I think of Auntie June the first thing that comes to mind is her laugh. It started in her belly and filled up a room.
• I want to begin by saying thank you. Thank you for giving me a home away from home and for teaching me how to make the best pancakes on a rainy morning.

Start simple and human. You do not need to summarize a life in the first sentence. Name your connection. Tell people why you are there. If you are nervous try writing that first line first. It is the easiest place to begin.

Tell stories not lists

Stories illustrate character. Avoid a long list of traits. Pick two to three moments that show who she was. Use sensory detail. The goal is that people can picture and feel the memory.

Bad example

She was kind, generous, funny, and hardworking.

Better example

She fixed neighbor systems at dawn and baked loaves of bread at noon. She once drove through a storm to deliver a casserole to a stranger who had lost a job. When she laughed she kept talking until everyone else in the room started laughing too.

Notice how the second version gives actions and images. That is what people remember.

Use specific language and objects

Objects carry meaning. Include a few physical details to ground the memory.

• Recipe cards on yellowed paper with coffee stains.
• A particular song that always made her get up and dance.
• A garden bench where conversations happened at dusk.

These details make your eulogy feel real and personal instead of generic. If you use a quote or a small poem, explain why it fits. Do not drop it in without context.

How to handle sensitive or complicated legacies

Life is messy. If your godmother had hard moments you do not need to ignore them. You can acknowledge complexity with respect.

• Focus on growth. If she changed over time show how and why.
• Use subtle honesty. You can say she was opinionated and that sometimes rubbed people the wrong way, but she loved fiercely and apologized when it mattered.
• Avoid blame and airing private family conflict. The funeral is not the place for new arguments.

Include humor when appropriate

Humor is a relief. Use it sparingly and lovingly. A funny memory can show an affectionate truth. Test your jokes on a family member first if you can. A good funny memory is short, specific, and self deprecating at times.

Example

She believed in hard work and in wearing the same house slippers until they had holes. When we asked her about it she would say they had character and also that our shoes were clearly too new to trust.

What to avoid saying

• Graphic details of the death. Keep medical details private unless the family wants them shared.
• Long lists of dates and awards. People can read those elsewhere.
• Any comment that sounds like passing judgment on family decisions.
• Inside jokes that exclude the audience. Make sure the stories you tell are accessible.

Closing with meaning

A strong close can be a wish, a call to remember, or a short reading. Examples

• May we live a little more like Maria, with food on the table and room at the table for everyone.
• In the words she loved, love one another. That is what I will try to do every day in her memory.
• Thank you for listening. I will always carry her laugh with me.

Finish with thanks or a brief invitation to a moment of silence if the officiant wants that. End on a note that people can hold as they leave the room.

Practical reading tips for speaking while emotional

Reading while you cry is hard but doable. Plan for it. Practice makes it easier.

• Print the eulogy in large font so you can see between tears.
• Mark pauses where you will breathe and where the audience might laugh or clap.
• Bring water and a tissue. Ask the officiant if you can have a minute if you need to collect yourself.
• Record yourself practicing to find natural rhythms. Practice standing and holding the paper with the same grip you will use on the day.
• If you cannot get through it you can ask someone you trust to finish reading the last paragraph. Plan that in advance.

How to include readings, poems, and scripture

Short readings can support your message. Choose something that relates to a central theme. Readings can come from poems, song lyrics, spiritual texts, or a favorite author. Confirm any copyright rules if you plan to print the full text in a program and ask family members if they have preferences.

If you include scripture use the version familiar to the community. If you include song lyrics name the song and the writer.

Delivering online or via video

If some attendees are remote you may need to record or join a livestream. The same rules apply but add a technical check.

• Test your mic and camera. Use a quiet room and a stable camera.
• Make sure the background is neutral and not distracting.
• Have a printed copy to avoid looking down at a small screen constantly.
• If you are recording, do multiple takes if you must. A live reading has its own value but a short, steady recorded message is also meaningful.

Sample eulogies and templates you can adapt

Below are several full examples in different tones. Use these as starting points. You can take lines, swap names, and change details. We also include fill in the blank templates with instructions.

Short and sweet example for a graveside service

Hello everyone. My name is Jordan and I was lucky to be Lucy her godchild. Lucy had a way of making a small kitchen feel like the center of the universe. She taught me to make tomato sauce from scratch and then insisted that wine was essential while stirring. I remember her standing at the sink laughing because somehow every plant she touched leaned toward the light. She loved fiercely and loudly. Today I carry her recipes and her laugh. Thank you for being here and for loving her with me.

Warm and funny example for a community church service

Good morning. I am Priya and I was Devika her goddaughter. Devika had rules at her house. She measured kindness in cups and patience in teaspoons. She also had an amazing talent for remembering birthdays for our whole street. Once she organized a surprise picnic for someone she had met only once. That picnic turned into a street tradition that still happens each summer. She taught me that community is made of small consistent acts. She also taught me how to fold a sari in under three minutes which I still cannot do as well as she could. I will miss her jokes, her hugs, and her insistence that every meal included dessert. Thank you for letting me share these memories.

Nonreligious tribute with reflective tone

My name is Sam and I had the honor to be Nora her godchild. Nora collected small things that mattered. A chipped coffee cup with her initials. A notebook full of garden plans. She would say that beauty is public and that tending to small things was a political act. Her garden was a messy masterpiece and she would give away more tomatoes than she kept. When the world felt heavy she would make a pot of tea, sit with you, and listen until the light changed. For me that listening was the greatest gift. I will try to follow her example by showing up for people in ordinary ways.

Template you can fill in: Three memory structure

Opening sentence: My name is [your name] and I was [relationship] to [godmother name].

Memory one short story showing personality: [One sentence stating the scene]. [One sentence describing what she did that shows her character].

Memory two short story showing values or role: [One sentence setting]. [Two sentences about what this means about her].

Memory three short story showing lesson learned: [One sentence]. [One sentence stating the lesson and how you carry it].

Closing: Thank you to everyone who loved [name]. May we remember her by [specific action or value].

Template you can fill in: Thematic approach

Start with theme: Today I want to talk about [theme such as generosity, stubbornness, hospitality].

Example one: [Short story that shows theme].

Example two: [Short story from a different time in life].

Reflection: [Why theme matters and how it will be remembered].

Close with invitation: Let us keep her [theme] alive by [specific action].

Annotated example with cues for delivery

Read the example below aloud. Notes for timing and emotion are in parentheses. Remove the parentheses when you speak.

Hello. I am Alex and I was Marianne her godchild. (Pause, breathe.) The first thing I remember about Marianne is the noise her kitchen made. She would slam the lid on the spice jar and laugh like she had told the joke first. (Small smile.) That laugh meant something. It meant she wanted to be in the room and that she believed food was a way to show love. (Pause.) Once she drove two hours in a snowstorm to bring soup to a neighbor she had never met. She said the neighbor needed soup and that was enough reason. (Soft laugh.) From her I learned that kindness is not a grand gesture. It is a consistent small thing. (Breath.) I am grateful for the way she made space for me in her home and for the stubborn way she taught me to never skip dessert. Thank you for loving her with me. (Short pause and look to family.)

How to edit and refine your draft

After writing your first draft take these editing passes.

• Read out loud. If a sentence trips you up rewrite it.
• Cut anything that repeats without adding new meaning.
• Replace vague adjectives with concrete actions and images.
• Check for factual details and correct spelling of names.

Also keep a plan B. Print a short emergency version with two sentences and the closing line. If you are overwhelmed you can read the short version and still honor her.

What to do the day of the service

• Arrive early to check the microphone and the space.
• Introduce yourself to the officiant so they know your place in the order.
• Have a printed copy in case your phone dies. Phones can ring at the worst time so silence it beforehand.
• Wear something that makes you feel steady and present.
• If you are shaky breathe slowly. Place one hand on your notes and the other on your chest to ground yourself.

When family asks you to keep it short or to say certain things

Be flexible. If the family has a time limit, honor it. If they prefer a religious tone and you are not able to deliver that, offer to write something that another person can read. Communication prevents awkwardness. Ask what key facts or memories they want included and what to avoid entirely.

What to say if you are a child or teenager

If you are young your voice matters. You do not need to sound like an adult. Speak from your heart in your natural voice. Keep it short if that is easier. Tell one memory and how you feel when you remember her. Adults will value the honesty more than a polished speech.

How to incorporate other participants

If multiple people are speaking coordinate so you do not repeat the same stories. Offer to share themes. For example one person can talk about childhood memories, another about adult life, another about community impact. That creates a fuller portrait without redundancy.

Examples of opening lines you can copy

• My name is [name] and I had the joy of being [godmother name] her godchild.
• There are many ways to measure a life. For me there is one sound I will always hear when I think of [name].
• When I think of [name], I see her hands busy with something she loved. Today I want to share three short stories that show who she was.

Examples of closing lines you can copy

• Thank you for loving her. I plan to remember her by [short action].
• She taught me how to [skill]. I will teach that same skill to others in her name.
• May we keep her memory alive by being kind in small ways every day.

Frequently asked practical questions

Can I read a printed eulogy or should I memorize it

Read from printed notes. Few people memorize long emotional speeches and it is perfectly fine to have written text. Use large type and a single page so you can glance down. Memorize a couple of opening sentences if that helps you start with confidence.

What if I cry while reading

Everyone understands crying. Pause, breathe, and take one moment to collect yourself. Have a backup reader ready if you think you might not finish. You can also write the most important sentences on a card for backup.

Should I talk about how she died

Keep details brief and necessary. Say she passed peacefully or after a brief illness if that is appropriate. Avoid graphic medical details. Focus on life and legacy rather than the death itself.

Can I use a song lyric or poem

Yes. Choose something meaningful and read a short excerpt. Cite the author or the song title. Keep it short and explain why it fits. If you plan to print the text in a program check copyright rules for longer poems.

Is it okay to use humor

Yes if it fits the person and the audience. Keep it gentle and inclusive. Humor can be healing when used with care.

Quick checklist before you go on stage

• One printed copy in large font
• Water bottle and tissues
• Backup copy with the officiant or a friend
• Wear comfortable clothing that helps you feel steady
• Confirm order of service with officiant