How to Write a Eulogy for Your Girlfriend - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Someone you loved is gone and now you need to speak about her life. Writing a eulogy feels impossible at this moment and that is okay. A eulogy is simply words you choose to honor a life. This guide gives you a structure, real examples you can adapt, and practical tips for delivering the speech without losing yourself. Everything is written for people who want honest, human language. No stiff templates and no meaningless cliches unless you want them.

This guide covers what to include, what to avoid, templates and fill in the blank examples, language for different tones like romantic, funny, spiritual and secular, and how to actually get the words out when grief is thick. We also explain common terms so you are never left guessing what something means.

Quick definitions so you are not left guessing

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial that remembers and honors the person who died. It is personal and usually delivered by someone who knew the person well.
• Funeral A formal service that may include religious rites. It often happens soon after death and may involve a closed or open casket.
• Memorial A gathering to remember the person that can take place any time after death and may not include the body.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering focused on positive memories and stories rather than rituals. People use this phrase to create a lighter atmosphere.
• Obituary A published notice of death that usually lists brief life facts, surviving family, and service details. It is not the same as a eulogy.
• Reading A poem, lyric, or passage from a book that is presented during the service. A reading can support a eulogy or stand alone.

Who should give the eulogy

There is no single rule. The person who gives a eulogy is usually someone close to the deceased like a partner, parent, sibling, or best friend. If you are the girlfriend and you want to speak you are absolutely entitled to do so. If there are multiple people who want to speak consider coordinating. You can split time by topic. For example one person can do a short personal remembrance and another can handle logistics like funeral details.

How long should a eulogy be

A good length is between three minutes and seven minutes. That is roughly 400 to 900 words. Shorter is fine if your voice breaks or if multiple people will speak. Longer can be okay for very full lives but shorter will often be more powerful. People listening are grieving too and they will remember sincerity more than the run time.

Tone matters but it is yours to choose

Tone can be solemn, funny, romantic, plain and honest, spiritual, or a mixture. Your girlfriend was unique. Match her. If she loved dark jokes and that was part of her light then include it. If family prefer a formal tone check in with them first. If you decide to use humor make sure it is never used to avoid grief. Use it to reveal who she was.

Structure to make a eulogy feel balanced

Structure gives you permission to be human. Use this simple shape that listeners can follow.

• Opening A short line that states who you are and why you are speaking. Example I am Emma, her girlfriend of four years. I am honored to speak about Sarah.
• Acknowledge the loss Name the grief so people know you recognize the pain. Example We are all here because we loved her and because we are hurting.
• Core memory or theme Pick one central idea about her life. That could be her kindness, her stubbornness, her laugh. Anchor the rest of the speech around that theme.
• Three short stories Three is manageable. Pick three memories that illuminate different sides of her. Use sensory detail where you can. Keep each story short and specific.
• What she taught you Share a lesson she gave you or others. This makes the eulogy forward looking and useful.
• Words from others If you have a quote text from friends or a short reading that resonates use it here.
• Closing A final line that says goodbye or sends love. Invite others to share memories after if appropriate.

Why three stories works

Three memories give variety without overload. Each memory can show a different role she played in your life. One can be romantic, one can be ordinary and domestic, one can be funny or wild. Together they create a fuller picture. If you cannot think of three that is fine. Two solid memories or one deeply felt memory can be more meaningful than many small ones jumbled together.

What to include in each story

• Start with context. Where were you and how old were you if that matters.
• Describe a moment with a specific sensory detail. What did she smell like. What song was playing. What did she do with her hands.
• Say why it mattered. Did it reveal something about her character? Did it teach you something?
• Use short lines. Long paragraphs are hard to deliver when your voice trembles.

What to avoid saying or including

• Avoid graphic descriptions of the death. People do not need the medical details.
• If the cause of death is sensitive for example suicide ask family if it is okay to mention it. If it is okay use sensitive language. For example Died by suicide is accepted clinical phrasing. Some people prefer the phrase took her own life. Use the family preference.
• Avoid shaming or airing family conflict in a way that will inflame grieving relatives.
• Do not promise things you cannot deliver like You will be in my heart forever in a manner that denies grieving. You can say I will carry you with me, which is honest.
• Avoid long lists of names that you might forget. If you must thank people name two or three key people and offer a general thank you to others.

How to handle cause of death and privacy

The family might want the cause of death private. If so respect that. If the family is open about it work with them on wording. If the cause is a private medical issue or an assisted death check with family or the legal next of kin before you speak. If you are unsure keep the focus on the life not on the manner of death.

Language choices that land

Use plain language. People remember images and short lines. Replace long abstract phrases with physical details. Instead of She was kind say She always left an extra coffee on the counter for whoever wandered into her kitchen. Small actions reveal more about character than adjectives.

How to include humor without it feeling wrong

Humor works when it comes from truth and it is kind. Avoid jokes that mock the deceased in a mean spirited way. Use self deprecating lines if you want to make people smile. Example She used to steal my hoodies and claim them as community property. That line gets a laugh and reveals intimacy.

Religious language and secular options

If your girlfriend was religious match the language her community uses. If you are not religious or want secular language say things like We will remember her by living the small things she loved. For faith specific phrases ask a religious leader for approved readings. For secular gatherings use poems, song lyrics, or quotes that were meaningful.

How to write when grief is raw

Grief clouds the brain. Use small steps.

1. Set a short timer for twenty minutes and free write memories. Do not edit.
2. Circle lines that feel true. Those are your best raw material.
3. Pick one central theme from those lines. Let that theme guide structure.
4. Write a first draft of two to five paragraphs. Keep sentences short.
5. Read it aloud into your phone. Edit for clarity and length.

Practical tip about notes and reading

Write the speech in a large font on paper or index cards. Many people find a printed page easier to manage than a phone. If you cry that is fine. Pause, breathe, take a sip of water and continue. If you need to step away more than once appoint someone you trust to continue or to close the service.

Delivery tips for when the room is full of people

• Stand with your feet shoulder width apart to feel grounded.
• Use a few prepared lines to open and to close so you always have an anchor.
• Look at friendly faces in the crowd to share the load. Slide your gaze slowly between a few people rather than staring at one point.
• Slow down. You are not racing to finish. People need time to feel your words.
• If you lose your place keep your breath and find your last remembered sentence. The audience expects breaks and will be patient.

When you are too shaken to speak

Ask someone to read your words. That is not a failure. You can also pre record a short message that someone plays. Another option is to deliver a short line live and ask a friend to read the rest of the eulogy. Planning for a backup will help you feel less pressure.

How to co write a eulogy with family or friends

Co writing can be supportive and it reduces the load. Offer to draft a version and ask for feedback. Use shared documents so people can add short memories. Then edit for tone and flow. Keep the final voice coherent. If multiple people speak consider assigning themes. For example one person can speak about childhood, another about work and one about intimate moments.

Examples and templates you can adapt

Below are real world style examples you can adapt to your voice. Replace the bracketed text with your details. Use the first example if you want a short heartfelt piece. Use the second if you want warmth with humor. Use the third for a spiritual tone and the fourth for a younger partner oriented reading. Each example shows a different voice so you can pick the one closest to your relationship and edit it into your own voice.

Short and intimate example

Hi everyone. I am [your name]. I had the honor of being [her name] girlfriend for [length of time]. We met in a coffee shop and she stole my order because she decided she liked cinnamon more than compromise. She had a laugh that could rearrange a bad morning. In the small life we built together we filled our apartment with plants she refused to name and records I only pretended to understand. She taught me how to slow down and how to be kinder to myself. When I think of her now I see her sitting on the window seat reading with one sock on and the other missing. I do not have all the answers about why this happened. I only know that I will try to honor her by being brave enough to love like she did. Thank you for being here to remember her. If you have a memory you want to share I would love to hear it after the service.

Warm and funny example

Good afternoon. I am [your name] and I am one of the people she called her emergency contact. If you knew [her name] you know she loved a list and she loved putting things in alphabetical order just to watch the world disturb them later. The first time we cooked together she set a timer for everything and then forgot to turn the oven on. The lasagna became a story we told for years. She had an astonishing ability to find the ridiculous in the ordinary and the beautiful in the messy. She taught me to laugh at myself and to keep playlists for every mood, even the one called dramatic cleanup. I miss her jokes already and I am grateful for every single one. Rest easy. We will keep the playlists alive.

Spiritual or religious example

My name is [your name]. [Her name] believed in small rituals and the power of hymns. She found comfort in morning prayers and in the way the congregation laughed at all the wrong moments. When she was sick she said she felt the prayers like sunlight and that is how I choose to remember her. A passage that comforted her is [short quote]. It speaks of love as a constant presence. We are carrying that love now. Thank you to [clergy or caregivers names] for their support. May her memory be a blessing.

Young partner focused example with emotional honesty

I am [your name]. We met at a night shift job where we learned to trade off snacks and bad radio. She had a way of looking at me like I had already fixed the thing I was most afraid of. We planned a hundred tiny adventures we never had time for, from learning a new language to a road trip where we would only bring one pillow. She made the mundane feel like a secret. I am angry sometimes because unfair is a small word. I am also wildly grateful for the time we had which was full of wild, terrible, beautiful moments. I promise to carry her messy playlist and her coffee mug and to tell her stories when the world feels too quiet.

Fill in the blank template you can use now

Use this template and fill in the blanks. Keep sentences short. Edit to make it sound like you.

Hello. I am [your name]. I loved [her name] as [partner title such as girlfriend or partner] for [length of time]. She was someone who [one true thing for example could make friends with any dog or organized the best road trips]. One time she [short memory with sensory detail]. That moment showed me that she was [one trait]. She taught me [a lesson]. I will miss [a small routine you shared]. I know she would want us to [a call to action for example take care of each other or laugh more]. Thank you for coming to remember [her name]. If you want to share a memory please come find me after the service.

Longer example you can adapt for a formal service

Hello. My name is [your name]. I stand here as someone who knew [her name] in both the ordinary and the absurd. We met [short context]. I want to say first that she was the kind of person who made a small room feel like a party. She did not need a crowd to be warm because she carried warmth inside her. One memory that stays with me is the time we tried to build a bookshelf and the third plank refused to cooperate. She insisted on singing a song while we hammered and somehow the shelf ended up crooked and perfect. That crooked shelf now holds our memories, and that is how I will hold her. She worked at [workplace] and brought the same stubborn care to her coworkers. She volunteered time at [place] and believed that small acts matter. She believed people deserved second chances. When I think about what she taught me I think about patience and the way she forgave easily. I do not know everything about how to go on without her. I do know I will try to do it with the same stubborn stubbornness she taught me. Thank you all for being here. If you would like to share a story there will be time after the service.

When to ask for help writing

Ask a close friend or family member to listen to you and take notes while you speak. You can also ask someone to help with editing a draft. If you prefer professional help a grief counselor, funeral director or a funeral and grief writing service can help shape your words. If you hire help give them clear direction about tone and any family sensitive topics to avoid.

Common fears and how to face them

I am going to cry and forget my words

Write a few anchor sentences at the top of your paper. Those anchors will help you restart. Practice reading your speech aloud a few times. That will make the words familiar and easier to find when your voice breaks.

I will say the wrong thing and upset family

Run your draft by one trusted family member if possible. Ask them to identify any sensitive details to avoid. If a detail sparks disagreement remove it rather than defend it in public. The goal is to honor the person not to prove a point.

I do not know how to be eloquent

You do not need eloquence. You need honesty. Short sentences that reveal feeling are stronger than complicated language. The people listening want to remember her. Your voice makes that memory more human.

After the eulogy what to expect

People will approach you with stories or with silence. Both are okay. Some will be clumsy and say the wrong thing. This is normal. Have a friend to debrief with after the service. Avoid making major decisions immediately. Grief clouds judgement.

Practical checklist before you go up to speak

• Print two copies of your speech on paper with large font.
• Bring tissues and a bottle of water.
• Confirm who will introduce you and the order of speakers.
• Check microphone level if using one. Ask to test it before the service starts.
• Have a backup reader assigned in case you cannot continue.
• Wear something that feels steady and comfortable.

What about including music or a reading

Music can create space and quiet that helps the speech land. If there is a song that mattered to her consider having it played before or after your eulogy. A short reading or poem can act as a bridge. Keep it brief and relevant. If you are using lyrics check copyright rules with the venue if they will play a recorded track publicly.

How to handle social media and sharing the eulogy later

Some people post the eulogy online. That can be a gift to those who could not attend. If you plan to post ask family for permission. Consider editing any personal details you do not want permanent on the internet. You might record an audio version for private sharing with friends who are grieving in other cities.

Sample short poems and lines you can borrow

• "I will carry your heart with me. I will carry it in my heart." Poetry line by E E Cummings. Use with credit.
• "To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die." Common epitaph. Use respectfully.
• "Not all storms come to disrupt your life. Some come to clear your path." A short consoling line often used in services.

FAQ

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Start with who you are and how you knew her. That orients the room and gives you a clear opening. Example I am [your name]. I was her girlfriend for [length of time]. Begin with a small memory like the first time you met or a habit that made you smile. Short sentences help when nerves are high.

Is it okay to talk about hard things like illness or addiction

It can be okay but ask permission from family. If the family wants those things private respect that. If the family wants them acknowledged use compassionate language and avoid sensational details. Focus on the person more than the illness.

Can I include my own grief in the eulogy

Yes. Saying I am heartbroken or I miss her every day is honest and can help others feel less alone. Balance personal feeling with memories that let the audience connect with who she was.

What if family members disagree about what to say

Try to agree on the tone and any topics to avoid. If consensus is impossible keep your remarks focused and short. Offer to allow others time later to add their memories. The goal is not to get everyone to like your words but to honor the person who died.

How do I include children or step children in the eulogy

Mention names with care and respect. If there were complicated relationships focus on the loving actions she showed to the children rather than legal labels. If children will be in the room avoid adult details that could be confusing or painful for them.