How to Write a Eulogy for Your College Friend - Eulogy Examples & Tips

You are here because someone you cared about from college died and you have been asked to speak. First, you are not alone. Writing a eulogy can feel like holding a fragile thing that must not break. This guide gives you a real world roadmap that is practical, honest, and a little blunt in the ways millennials need. Expect emotion, memory, and concrete examples you can adapt into a speech that honors your friend without sounding like a eulogy from a textbook.

This guide covers how to prepare, what to include, how long to speak, and multiple example eulogies you can use as templates. It also explains common terms so you know the language funeral professionals use. If you want to skip forward, use the table of contents to find examples and templates you can adapt instantly.

Who writes a eulogy for a college friend

There is no rule book. Usually the person who knew the deceased best and who the family trusts will be asked. That might be a roommate, a teammate, a study group leader, a fraternity or sorority sibling, or a close friend from a shared class. If you are comfortable speaking, volunteering to write and deliver the eulogy is a meaningful gift to the family and a way to process your own grief.

If you were not asked but want to help, reach out to the family and offer. They may already have someone chosen. If the family asks you to speak, confirm practical details such as when and where, how long, and whether the event is a formal funeral or a casual celebration of life. A celebration of life is an event that focuses on remembering and telling stories about the person. It is usually less formal than a funeral. If you are unclear on any term, ask the funeral director or the family directly. People expect questions.

Basic terminology explained

• Funeral: A traditional ceremony that often happens soon after death and may include religious elements. It is usually structured and may include a viewing, readings, musical selections, and eulogies.
• Memorial: A gathering that happens when a body is not present. It can be scheduled later and is often more flexible in tone.
• Celebration of life: A less formal event focused on storytelling and memory. It often feels more like a party of remembrance than a ceremony.
• Obituary: A public notice of death with details about the funeral or memorial. It can include a short biography.
• Cremation: A method of disposition that reduces the body to ashes. The ashes may be kept by family, scattered, or placed in an urn.
• Pallbearer: A person who helps carry the casket. This is usually a role offered to close friends or family.

How to start when everything feels impossible

Open a blank document and give yourself permission to write badly. The first draft exists to collect memory not to impress. Use the prompts below to pull out details you can shape into a voice that feels like your friend.

Writing prompts to get you started

• How did you first meet your friend? Include a place and an exact moment if you can.
• What is a tiny thing they did that reveals who they were? Maybe the way they brewed coffee, a catch phrase, or a habit in the library.
• Tell one story that shows their humor, kindness, or bravery. Make it concrete with sensory detail.
• What did they want people to remember about them? New information can come from social media, texts, or friends.
• How did they change your life while you were both in college?

Answer three of those prompts in full sentences and you will already have a paragraph or two. Keep going until you have enough material for a three to five minute speech. Three minutes is short enough to be meaningful and long enough to cover a story and a memory.

How long should your eulogy be

Most eulogies are two to five minutes long when read aloud. Two minutes can be powerful if you are concise and honest. Five minutes gives you room for a short story, a reflection, and a closing. If the family or event planner sets a time limit, respect it. If they do not, aim for three to four minutes as a sweet spot.

Structure that actually works

Keep a simple structure so listeners can follow along. Use three parts.

1. Opening line that identifies who you are and your relationship to the person.
2. One or two short stories that illustrate character with concrete details.
3. A short reflection about what they meant to you and how you will carry them forward.

This is storytelling rather than a biographical list. People remember scenes not dates. Dates belong in an obituary. Your job is to help people feel who the person was.

Voice and tone

Your voice should sound like you telling a friend a story. Keep the language conversational. Use humor carefully. If your friend was the funny one in the group, a light joke is fine. Never use humor that isolates or embarrasses. Aim for warmth and honesty. Saying I miss them is okay. Saying they are gone forever is honest and human. Avoid grand philosophical claims that do not reflect lived experience.

What to include and what to skip

Include

• A clear statement of who you are and your relationship
• Two short stories that reveal personality
• A specific habit or phrase that people will recognize
• A short note about the impact on you and the community
• A closing line that offers comfort or a call to remember

Skip

• Long lists of achievements unless they matter to the audience
• Graphic details of the death
• Anything that might embarrass the family
• Overly formal language that does not sound like you

How to handle sensitive topics

If the death involves addiction, suicide, or other complicated situations check with the family before mentioning details. Families may want some truths shared and may prefer others left private. If you are unsure, speak to the funeral director or a family member. When in doubt, focus on the person and their positive traits rather than the circumstances of death. Saying their struggle was known and meaningful is different from retelling the event.

Practical steps before you write

1. Collect messages. Ask mutual friends for one memory each. That will give you short stories you may not have seen.
2. Confirm logistics. Ask how long you should speak and whether there will be a microphone. A lapel microphone helps nervous speakers and room sound.
3. Check the order of service. Know if you speak at the beginning or the end and whether other people will read names or prayers.
4. Decide if you will read from a paper, from a phone, or speak without notes. Notes are fine and recommended.

How to craft the opening lines

The opening sets tone. Start strong and human. Here are options you can adapt.

• Hello everyone. My name is Alex and I was Jamie's roommate for two years.
• Good morning. I am Maya. I met Luke in freshman orientation on a rainy day and we never stopped laughing about it.
• I am Priya and I studied with Sam in every late night study session they organized.

Say your name and relationship plainly. People new to the group need the context. This also centers your voice so listeners know who is speaking.

Story examples and templates you can use right now

The following example eulogies are written in different tones. You can adapt phrasing and details. Replace names and specific images with your own.

Example 1: The roommate and late night friend

Hi. My name is Tyler and I lived with Maddy for three years. If you knew Maddy you knew two things about her. One she brewed coffee like a scientist. Two she never turned down a midnight walk. I remember the night the power went out in our dorm. We sat in the hallway with our phones on flashlight and Maddy made a playlist from memory. She started with the same ridiculous song she loved in high school. We all started singing and by the second chorus the whole floor was standing in the dark laughing. That is how Maddy faced life. She turned small discomforts into a reason to gather people close. She listened when you needed to talk and she celebrated without reservation. I miss her laugh. When I find the courage to make coffee at three a.m. I will think of her. I know a lot of us will keep that playlist. It is a small way to remember her voice in our lives.

Template you can use

Hello. I am [your name] and I was [relationship]. One thing people should know about [friend name] is [short character trait]. Let me tell you one night that shows it. [Story with sensory detail]. That is how [friend name] lived. I will remember [short personal detail]. Thank you for letting me share this memory.

Example 2: The teammate or fraternity or sorority sibling

Good afternoon. I am Casey and I played on the soccer team with Jordan. Jordan did not care about scoring the winning goal as much as she cared that everyone felt like they belonged on the field. Before every game she would make a ridiculous chant that only half the team understood. It usually involved a weird dance and the line everyone remembers now is do the thing with your feet. We laughed and then we played like we belonged. Off the field she showed up at surgeries and late night shifts. She dropped everything when a teammate needed help moving furniture or someone needed a ride home. That loyalty is the kind of thing you do not notice until it is missing. I will carry that with me by being a little more present for people around me. If you want to honor Jordan today do one small act of service for someone and do it without announcement.

Template you can use

Hi. I am [your name] and I was a [role] with [friend name]. One thing they did for our group was [habit]. The night that shows it best is [story]. What I learned from [friend name] was [personal lesson]. If you want to honor them now try [small action].

Example 3: The funny friend who made grief lighter

Hello everyone. I am Sam and I met Riley in sophomore year in a terrible economics class. Riley had an ability to make dry lectures feel like improv. Once when the professor started a very slow monologue Riley whispered loudly enough for only our table to hear that the snack table was probably running off on its own. We all burst out laughing and nearly got kicked out. That is Riley. They found humor in the smallest places. Even when things were hard Riley would send a meme at two in the morning that made you laugh and cry at once. We will miss that ridiculous timing. I wish for all of us that we remember to laugh when we can and to be there when laughter runs out.

Template you can use

My name is [your name] and I met [friend name] in [context]. They had a way of [humorous trait]. One story that captures that is [short comic scene]. What I will miss most is [detail about impact].

How to close your eulogy

Close by naming a feeling and offering a simple instruction or hope. The final lines are what listeners take with them. Keep it short and sincere.

Examples of closings

• I will miss them every day and I know they would want us to take care of each other.
• Remember [name] by telling one story about them to someone who did not know them well.
• Hold this memory and pass it on. That is how they stay alive in us.

Practical reading tips for the day

• Bring printed notes. A phone screen can be hard to read under lighting and the glare makes nerves worse.
• Use a simple font and 16 to 18 point type so you do not squint. Print double spaced so you can pause easily.
• Mark places where you want to pause with a simple bracket or the word pause. Practice those pauses so they feel natural.
• Practice out loud three to five times. Time yourself. If you are reading for four minutes in practice you will be fine on stage.
• Take breaths. Speak slower than you think you should. Saying the same words slower makes them land.
• If you cry, pause and breathe. People will wait. If you cannot continue, have a friend ready to step in with a small line like I can finish this for you if you need a moment.

What to do if you are asked to deliver but you are not ready

It is fine to say you need time. Ask for the date of the service and say you will let them know within a day or two. If public speaking terrifies you you can offer to write the eulogy and have someone else read it. If you cannot do either offer to collect stories and pass them to someone else. Helping does not require standing at a podium.

How to collect memories from a group

Send a short message in a friend group chat or email with three prompts. Ask for one sentence or a short paragraph. Example prompts.

• One memory that always makes you laugh.
• One way they showed up for you in a small moment.
• A phrase or habit you will always remember.

Give a deadline of one or two days. People want to contribute but will not if you leave the ask vague. Collect the responses and look for common threads you can highlight.

Examples of specific lines you can use

• [Friend name] always left a bit of coffee in the pot so they could pretend it was still hot later.
• When finals hit, [friend name] would bring muffins like contraband happiness and they always called them survival muffins.
• They had a phrase they used when things went wrong. The phrase was [insert phrase]. It somehow made everything smaller and manageable.

How to use humor responsibly

Make sure any joke serves the person you loved rather than making them the butt of the joke. Avoid inside jokes that exclude the audience. Try a joke that invites people in, not one that requires context. If you are unsure, leave it out. A small smile from the crowd is better than a big awkward silence.

Do this before you step up to speak

• Use the bathroom. Cry in private if you need to. Splash water on your face.
• Have a glass of water nearby when you speak.
• Stand in the room if possible so you know how loud you need to be. If there is a microphone test it.
• Ask the officiant where they want you to stand. Clear direction removes a small adrenaline spike.

Common mistakes and how to avoid them

• Trying to cover the whole life. Focus on a few meaningful moments instead.
• Reading too fast. Slow down and breathe.
• Using language that is not you. Readers notice inauthentic voice. Tell the story the way you would tell it to a friend.
• Over apologizing for being emotional. People expect emotion and often find it comforting.

How to make the eulogy feel personal when you are not a long term friend

If you were an acquaintance or a classmate pick a single memory or a specific attribute to highlight. Use that as your frame. Example lines.

I was not close to Olivia but I will never forget how she led our study group. She brought snacks and an energy that made the worst history lecture tolerable. That is what I remember about her. That small kindness mattered to a lot of people.

Legal and logistics notes to confirm with family or funeral director

• Ask if the family wants the content reviewed before the event. Some families do and that is fine.
• Confirm whether photos or music are allowed during the reading.
• Check if any cultural or religious norms should be observed. For example a family might prefer no applause or prefer a moment of silence instead.
• Ask whether the event will be recorded or live streamed. A remote audience may hear your words later.

Short templates you can copy and paste and fill in

Three minute template

Hello. I am [your name] and I met [friend name] in [context]. The first thing I want to say is [one sentence about character]. My favorite memory of [friend name] is [short story with sensory detail]. That story shows [what it reveals]. I will miss [specific detail]. Thank you for letting me share this small piece of them with you.

Five minute template

Hi everyone. My name is [your name]. I met [friend name] during [context]. They had a way of [trait]. One night that captures it is [story one]. Another time that shows something different about them was [story two]. Together those stories show [summary of character]. What I learned from [friend name] is [lesson]. To honor them now we can [small action]. Thank you for listening and thank you to [family or group] for letting me speak.

What to say if you cannot finish reading

If you become overtaken by emotion stop and breathe. Pause for as long as you need. The officiant or a friend can step in with a line such as I will finish if you need a moment. Practice a short fallback sentence you can say if needed. For example I am sorry. I need a moment. A close friend will step up to finish if you cannot continue.

How to honor digital memories and social media

College friendships live on phones and social media. Consider asking for messages to be collected and put into a memory book for the family. A shared digital document or a private social media group where people post photos and stories can be a meaningful complement to the eulogy.

When to mention the cause of death

Only mention cause if the family wants it public. If you are not sure do not share details. It is fine to say they passed away or they died without giving specifics. If the family chooses to disclose the cause then keep the wording respectful and factual.

Additional phrases you can adapt

• [Friend name] had a laugh that pulled people closer.
• They showed up for the small things and the big things.
• One of their favorite lines was [insert quote]. It always made us laugh because [reason].
• The best way I can honor them today is to [personal action].

Self care after giving the eulogy

Speaking at a funeral is emotionally draining. Do something small for yourself afterwards. Eat, rest, and reach out to someone you trust and say I need to talk. Grief is not a solo sport. If you find your grief becoming overwhelming consider talking to a counselor or joining a support group. Your college may offer grief counseling. If you are reading this and you are a student check the student health center for resources.

Frequently asked questions

How do I know if I should write a eulogy or just share a memory

If you are asked to speak then yes write a eulogy. If you are not asked you can still offer a short memory during an open mic portion. If you prefer not to speak publicly write an email to the family or record a short video message they can play. The format should reflect what you are comfortable doing and what the family needs.

Is it OK to read from my phone

Yes. A phone is fine. Use the notes app and increase font size. A printed page is preferable for visibility but do what helps you read reliably. Lock your screen orientation so the text does not shift mid reading.

Can I use profanity if my friend used it a lot

Only use language that the family will be comfortable with. If your friend swore as part of their charm some families will appreciate the authentic voice. Others will prefer cleaner language. Ask if you are unsure.

What if I am not ready to talk about the death publicly

It is okay to decline. Offer an alternative way to help such as collecting stories, coordinating music, or reading a short quote on behalf of the group. Helping does not require delivering the eulogy.

Action checklist you can copy

1. Ask family or organizer how long you should speak.
2. Collect two to four stories from friends inside 48 hours.
3. Write a draft using the three part structure.
4. Practice reading aloud three times and time it.
5. Print notes and mark pauses.
6. Confirm logistics with the officiant before the event.
7. Step up and breathe through it. You will do a service to your friend and to the people who loved them.