How to Write a Eulogy for Your Close Friend - Eulogy Examples & Tips

This is one of the hardest speeches you will ever write. You want to honor someone who shaped your life without sounding like a scripted obituary. You want to be real, maybe funny, and above all human. This guide from Eulogy Assistant gives you the framework, examples, and templates that make the process less terrifying and more meaningful.

We wrote this for people who are doing it for the first time and have limited time. You will find clear structure, line level examples you can borrow, sensitive ways to handle difficult deaths, and delivery tips that help your voice hold when emotions rise. We also explain terms you might hear so nothing surprises you at the service.

Who this guide is for

• Anyone writing a eulogy for a close friend
• People who want real examples to adapt rather than starting from a blank page
• Those who need help choosing tone and length
• People who want tips for reading when grief is overwhelming

Key things to remember before you start

• There is no single right way to speak about a life.
• Honesty and love are better than perfection.
• If you need a laugh in the middle of grief it is allowed and often healing.
• Keep it personal. The audience can sense a story that is borrowed from the internet.

Definitions and terms explained

Not everyone uses funeral language every day. Here are short definitions for the terms you are likely to see.

• Eulogy A speech about the person who died. It focuses on their life character and the ways they mattered to others.
• Obituary A written notice often published in a paper or online that gives facts about the death and details about the funeral or memorial event.
• Officiant The person leading the service. This could be a religious leader a celebrant or a family member.
• Pallbearer People who carry the casket if there is a burial. This is a job often filled by close friends or family.
• Visitation Also called a viewing. A time before the funeral when people can pay respects to the deceased and the family often in a relaxed setting.
• Program A printed sheet handed out at the service with the order of events and any readings or music credits.

How long should a eulogy for a close friend be

A eulogy that is three to seven minutes is the most common and appropriate length for a close friend. At normal speaking pace three minutes is about 350 to 450 words and seven minutes is about 800 to 900 words. Any length is fine as long as every line matters. People remember specific stories not total runtime.

Tone choices and how to pick one

Your tone sets how the crowd receives your words. Pick the tone that fits your friend and the ceremony. Here are common tones and when they work.

• Warm and conversational Use this for friends who loved casual honesty and real talk. It sounds like you are telling a story to a group of people who already feel like family.
• Funny and candid Good when your friend was a joker and humor was central to their identity. Keep jokes brief and directed at shared memories rather than private embarrassments.
• Reflective and calm Works for services with a spiritual or contemplative focus. Let pauses do the work. Choose slower sentences and fewer jokes.
• Mixed Most great eulogies blend warmth humor and grief. A laugh can make a tear arrive with a cleaner sound.

Structure that actually helps

Think of a eulogy as a short story not a list of facts. Use this structure to create momentum and emotional arc.

• Opening line One sentence that names your relationship to the friend and gives an attention point.
• Overview Two to four lines that capture who they were in simple language. This is your thesis sentence for the speech.
• Three short stories or examples Each story should reveal a quality about them. Stories can be funny awkward or tender.
• What they taught you One paragraph about the lessons or the ongoing influence they leave behind.
• A closing Wrap with a short image a quote or a line that offers comfort and a call to remember that feels personal.

Why three stories

Three is enough to show complexity without exhausting the audience. Each story can be short. The goal is not to tell a biography but to make the audience feel the person through scenes.

Step by step to write it right now

1. Set a timer for 20 minutes and write everything you remember about them without editing.
2. Underline moments that show character. Pick your top three.
3. Write a one sentence opening that states who you are and why you are speaking.
4. Draft a one sentence overview that sums up their essence in plain language.
5. Expand each story into two to five short sentences. Keep the image vivid and the lesson clear.
6. Finish with a closing line that includes a memory or image and a wish for those listening.
7. Read it out loud and trim every sentence that repeats information without adding feeling.

Lines you can borrow when you are stuck

Use these starter lines to build your own voice quickly.

• My name is [your name] and [friend name] made my life better in ways I did not know I needed.
• What everyone remembers about [name] is not a job title but a small habit like [small habit].
• One time they did something that showed who they really were: [short anecdote].
• They taught me that [short lesson]. I will carry that with me every day.
• If you want to remember them close your eyes and picture [specific image].

Sensitive deaths and what to say

Death by overdose suicide or a socially stigmatized cause requires extra care. The goal is to honor the person and avoid shaming while being honest when necessary. Here are gentle frameworks.

If the death was from addiction or overdose

• Avoid blame. Addiction is a disease not a moral failure.
• Focus on who they were beyond their struggle.
• You can name their struggle in one sentence without graphic detail. Example: They fought a private battle with addiction that many of us saw and many of us did not.
• Offer compassion. Invite memory over judgment.

If the death was a suicide

• Be direct if you are comfortable naming it. Silence can feel like shame.
• Use language that emphasizes pain and help rather than blame. Example: They were in deep pain and we wish we had known how to help more effectively.
• Provide resources after the service for those who are affected. This can be part of what you say or it can be arranged by the family or officiant.

If the death was sudden or violent

• Be mindful of details. You do not need to describe graphic facts to make the audience understand the loss.
• Use phrases that acknowledge the shock and the gap. Example: We are all living with the sting of shock and the ache that follows.

What to include and what to leave out

Include

• Personal stories that reveal character
• Short quotes or sayings they used often
• Positive and honest reflections
• One or two concrete images that people can hold onto

Leave out

• Long lists of achievements that sound like a resume
• Private family conflicts or details that could embarrass survivors
• Medical details that are unnecessary or graphic
• Unresolved grievances presented as attacks

Examples and templates you can adapt

Below are full sample eulogies for different situations. Each example includes a short template you can copy and fill in with your details.

Example 1: Sudden loss of a young friend

Sample eulogy

My name is Riley and I have been lucky enough to call Jordan my best friend since college. Jordan did nothing small. When Jordan laughed the room felt safer and when Jordan got passionate about a cause that same passion pulled a dozen of us into action. I think of Jordan as someone who refused to accept boring. They made the ordinary feel like the start of an adventure.

There is one story that keeps coming back to me. We were driving to a music festival and the car broke down in the middle of nowhere. While the rest of us panicked Jordan climbed onto the hood fixed a rusted bracket with a twist of patience and a zip tie and then made us all lemonade out of a bottle of flat soda. That is who Jordan was. Problem solver and absurd optimist.

Jordan taught me to take risks but to bring snacks. They taught me that music and friends can fix a lot more than a mechanic. I am grateful for every messy road trip every late hour and every small kindness.

If you want to remember Jordan close your eyes and think of them singing loudly at the top of their lungs and pretending not to hear you when you told them to stop. That image makes me laugh and cry at the same time. I love you Jordan. I will miss you every day.

Template

My name is [your name] and [friend name] was my [relationship]. [One sentence that captures their essence].

[Short story that shows a quality].

[What they taught you].

[Closing image or line of farewell].

Example 2: Death after a long illness

Sample eulogy

I am Sam and I was lucky to call Maria my friend for twelve years. Maria had a soft intensity that meant when she looked at you she was fully present. Over the last two years while she fought illness she showed us steady courage and a sense of humor that could light up a hospital room.

One memory stands out. We had a game night and Maria insisted on playing charades even though she was exhausted. She mimed a full Broadway scene with one eyebrow and a fake limp and we all ended up in stitches. For her the small rituals of life were sacred.

Maria taught me to find gratitude even on the days that were gray. She taught me to call my parents more often and to notice the small things like the way late afternoon light looks on fresh coffee. I will keep these lessons with me always.

Maria would want us to laugh and to take care of each other. So laugh now if you can and hold someone close after this. Maria loved you. That love does not stop here.

Template

My name is [your name]. [Friend name] was my friend for [number] years and during that time they taught me [short lesson].

[Short story that shows their spirit during illness].

[Lesson and a call to action like care for each other].

[Closing memory or wish].

Example 3: Overdose or addiction related death

Sample eulogy

Hi I am Taylor and I loved Alex like a sibling. Alex loved fiercely and laughed louder than anyone I knew. Alex also carried a long private struggle with addiction. We are here to grieve that loss and to remember the person beyond the struggle.

Alex could make any gathering feel like a reunion. Once on a freezing night Alex phoned a group of friends and insisted we meet for pancakes at midnight. We went and Alex showed up with a playlist and a ridiculous hat and somehow turned a miserable night into one of my favorite memories.

Alex taught me compassion and the fact that mental pain can look different from what we expect. We will miss their jokes their generosity and their terrible dancing. If you want to honor Alex think of ways to show up for people who are struggling.

I love you Alex. You were more than your illness. You were our friend and you will be remembered with warmth.

Template

My name is [your name] and [friend name] was my [relationship]. [One sentence honoring them beyond their struggle].

[Memory that shows their personality].

[A lesson about compassion and a small action listeners can take].

[Closing line of remembrance].

Example 4: Suicide with sensitivity

Sample eulogy

I am Jordan and I loved Casey with all my stubborn heart. Casey had a quick wit a fierce loyalty and a way of making people feel seen. They were also carrying a pain we wish we had seen more of. We are here to hold grief without blame and to remember the fullness of their life.

Casey could fix almost anything with tape and determination. They once jury rigged a broken lamp so that the whole apartment glowed with string lights and we sat under that glow talking until dawn about everything and nothing. That night felt like a promise that small things can matter more than we think.

Casey taught me to speak up and to check in. If you leave today please call someone you love and mean it. It would mean a lot to Casey to know we are taking that seriously.

Casey I love you. Rest where there is peace.

Template

My name is [your name]. [Friend name] was my [relationship]. [One true sentence that honors their whole life].

[Short story that reveals a tender or joyful trait].

[A request for the living to act with care and a brief resource mention if appropriate].

[Personal farewell].

Example 5: Elder friend or lifelong pal

Sample eulogy

My name is Alex and I have been friends with Joan since we were teenagers. Joan was the kind of friend who remembered birthdays by writing you a letter not sending a text. Joan loved crossword puzzles and would send me a clue in the mail when I was having a rough week. That small attention felt like a lighthouse.

She taught generosity as a daily practice. I remember her teaching me to make a proper pot roast and lecturing me about patience with a twinkle in her eye. She believed in rituals and phone calls and getting the salt just right.

Joan leaves us a map of how to love reliably. I will miss her humor and the certainty of her voice. When you make dinner this week say her name out loud and add a little more salt.

Template

My name is [your name] and [friend name] was my friend for [number] years. [One sentence about their steady habits].

[Short scene that reveals their warmth].

[What they taught you and a gentle invitation to remember them in action].

[A final loving line].

Practical tips for writing and editing

• Write by hand if it helps the words feel closer to your voice.
• Use short paragraphs to make emotions easier to manage when reading aloud.
• Read out loud and time yourself. Aim for three to seven minutes unless the family asks for longer.
• Ask one trusted person to read it and flag any private details that should not be shared publicly.
• Trim anything that repeats a point without adding new feeling.

How to prepare to read the eulogy

• Practice three to five times out loud with a glass of water nearby.
• Mark places to breathe with a small dot or bracket so you can recover when you choke up.
• Bring printed copies. If you are too emotional a short printed version of your opening and closing will help.
• Ask the officiant where to stand and whether a microphone is available.
• Have tissues and a friend near you for support if needed.

What to do if you cannot read it yourself

If you cannot deliver your words the family or the officiant can read it for you. Record your message on your phone and send it to someone you trust if the timing is short. You can also write a letter to be read at a later memorial event or included in the program. The words still matter even if you are not the one standing at the podium.

Using quotes poems and song lyrics

Short quotes or a line of a song can add resonance. Respect copyright if you plan to print longer lyrics. If you include a poem keep it short and make sure the mood matches the person you are honoring. When in doubt pick your own words. They will always be more powerful.

Sample opening lines you can steal or adapt

• My name is [name] and I am honored to be here remembering [friend name].
• We are here today because someone we loved left a space that feels too big for words.
• [Friend name] taught us many small things that turned out to be big in life.
• When I think of [name] I think of [single concrete image].

Common mistakes and how to avoid them

• Trying to be perfect. Authenticity is more memorable than polish.
• Listing achievements without stories. Pick a few details rather than dozens of facts.
• Long jokes that derail emotion. Brief humor is fine but avoid long routines.
• Forgetting the audience. Aim your language at the people gathered not at a private text thread.

After the eulogy what helps the most

• Make yourself available for short conversations. People will come up and share their memory.
• If you feel hollow make a short personal ritual like lighting a candle or writing one memory on a card.
• Check in with close family and friends later that day or the next. Grief does not end at the service.

Checklist before you go to the service

• Printed copy of the eulogy with a couple of large font copies for a backup
• Water and tissues
• Phone on silent and a friend who knows you may need a hand
• Time your reading once more so you know how long it will take
• A simple line you can say if you cannot finish like I love you and I am grateful for you

FAQ

How long should I speak

Three to seven minutes is standard for a close friend. Shorter is fine. Think about clarity and selectivity. A tighter piece with strong images and one clear arc will land more powerfully than a long list of facts.

Should I include jokes

Yes if your friend would have liked humor. Keep jokes respectful brief and shared by the group. A single well placed laugh can relieve tension and celebrate who they were.

Can I mention uncomfortable topics like addiction or suicide

Yes but do so with care. Name the truth if it serves healing and avoid graphic detail. Emphasize compassion and the full person rather than letting the topic define them.

What if I cry while reading

Crying is okay and expected. Pause take a breath and continue. You can also ask a friend to step forward and read a line for you if it is too hard. The audience understands and will support you.

Do I need permission from family to deliver a eulogy

Yes check with the family or the officiant before preparing or delivering a speech. Families sometimes plan a structure or assign speakers. Confirming prevents awkward surprises and shows respect.

Final practical resources

• Local grief support groups and online forums
• National helplines for crisis situations especially if the death involved suicide
• Funeral director contacts for logistics and program printing