How to Write a Eulogy for Your Childhood Friend - Eulogy Examples & Tips

You are standing at a weird crossroads. You want to honor a person who has been part of your life since scraped knees and backyard adventures. You also have to speak in public while grief keeps interrupting you. This guide gives clear structure, real world examples, and templates you can adapt so the words feel like them and sound like you.

This is written for millennials who want real and not saccharine. You will find ways to balance humor and heart, practical flow for a five minute tribute, line prompts you can steal, advice on reading with composure, and multiple example eulogies you can adapt. We will explain funeral terms so nothing feels like a secret code word. You will leave with a workable draft and a checklist to get you to the microphone with confidence.

What Is a Eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech about a person who has died. It is usually given at a funeral or memorial. The goal is to highlight what the person meant to others and to tell a story about who they were. It is not a legal document or an obituary. An obituary is a published notice that describes the death and often lists logistics like service time. The eulogy is personal. The eulogy can be funny. The eulogy can be raw. The eulogy should be honest and focused.

Quick Funeral Terms You Should Know

• Obituary A published notice about the death that may include biographical details and funeral logistics.
• Visitation A time to see the body and offer condolences before the funeral. Also called calling hours in some places.
• Wake A gathering to remember the person. It can be religious or casual depending on family wishes.
• Officiant The person who leads the funeral service. This can be a clergy person or a secular celebrant.
• Pallbearer Someone who carries the casket.
• Memorial A service that honors the person without the body present. A funeral usually involves the body.

Decide What Kind of Eulogy You Want to Give

First decide tone. Tone informs content and length. Pick one of these and commit.

• Warm and honest True stories with gentle humor and clear gratitude.
• Funny and celebratory More jokes and comic scenes that reveal personality. Use sparingly if the loss is sudden or traumatic.
• Reflective and quiet Focus on lessons learned from the friendship and what their presence taught you.
• Short and simple A two to three minute tribute for when many people will speak.

How Long Should a Eulogy Be

Five minutes is a solid target. It gives you time for an opening, two short stories, a couple of traits, a thank you, and a closing. If you are one of many speakers keep it to two to three minutes. If you were the closest friend and the family wants you to speak longer then aim for seven to nine minutes. Keep in mind that emotional reading often takes longer than silent reading. Practice out loud and time yourself.

Structure That Works Every Time

Use a simple structure so you can focus on reading and not remembering. Here is a reliable flow you can trust.

• Opening line One sentence that names the person and your relationship. Example: Today I am here to celebrate the life of Noah my childhood friend.
• Context Two to three lines on how you met or how long you knew them.
• Stories Two short stories that reveal character. Aim for concrete details and sensory lines.
• Traits Two to three qualities summed in plain language. Add a one sentence example for each trait.
• Impact One or two lines about what their friendship taught you or changed about you.
• Gratitude One line thanking family or friends or the deceased for the gift of them.
• Closing A short final line you can repeat. This can be a favorite quote a lyric a short prayer or your own words.

Write the Opening So It Lands

Start strong. The opening prepares the audience for authenticity. Avoid overlong sentences. Keep the first line a clear statement of who you are and how you knew the person.

Examples

• Hi I am Maya and Ben and I met on the first day of kindergarten.
• My name is Alex and Sam was my neighbor and partner in every ridiculous adventure.
• I am Priya and Talia was my friend since middle school and the best at stealing fries.

Choose Two Stories That Show Who They Were

Stories beat adjectives. Anyone can say a person was kind. A small scene proves it. Use sensory details. Name an object. Keep each story to about four to eight sentences.

What makes a good story for a eulogy

• Moment of action where we see character
• Concrete sensory detail like smell sight or sound
• Small emotional arc even if it is comic
• Short punch line that ties to the trait you want to highlight

Examples of short story prompts

• That time they drove across the state to return your lost sketchbook.
• How they always ordered the strangest sandwich and made you try it and then loved it.
• The nights you stayed up talking about nothing and decided to start a band or a podcast.

Balancing Humor and Respect

Childhood friends often share goofy memories. Humor can feel healing. The trick is to make sure the joke lands on the person not at their expense. Avoid stories that could embarrass survivors. If a memory depends on a private fail do not include it without checking close family first.

Quick rule

• Make the joke about the shared experience not the body
• Keep language kind even when it is raw
• Test funny lines on one trusted friend or a family member if possible

Relatable Eulogy Example Scenarios You Can Use as Templates

Below are ready made templates for common childhood friend types. Copy edit and personalize by swapping names places and details. Bracketed prompts show what to replace.

Example 1

Scenario: The prankster friend who lightened hard days

Template

Hello my name is [Your Name]. I have known [Friend Name] since we were eight and he taught me that laughing is a valid survival strategy. The first memory that sticks is the time he switched the teacher's chalk with a white crayon and then tried to act shocked when nothing wrote. He could make a room drop its shoulders with one look and a ridiculous plan. That absurdity came from a deep love for the people around him. If you left your keys he'd give you his socks and a beat up comic until you found them. He loved weird movies and cereal for dinner and somehow convinced all of us that midnight pancakes were normal. What I will miss most is how he made ordinary moments feel like they mattered. Thank you to [Family Member] for sharing him with us and for letting us be part of his life. [Friend Name] would have hated a long speech so I will keep this short. Goodbye my friend and thanks for the laughs.

Example 2

Scenario: The quiet friend who was steady and present

Template

My name is [Your Name]. [Friend Name] and I met in fourth grade on a freezing day when the bus was late and I forgot my gloves. She handed me hers without asking and that is the person she was. Not loud but there always when it mattered. She had a way of remembering the smallest things like the exact line from a book that made you cry. When my first apartment flooded she showed up with towels and a pizza and did not ask questions. Her loyalty was quiet but absolute. I learned patience from watching her choose steady over showy. I am grateful for every phone call where she listened to me and then made the right suggestion a week later. To [Family Member] thank you for letting me be part of her circle. I will hold her steady presence in my life always.

Example 3

Scenario: The friend who struggled and whose honesty helped others

Template

Hi I am [Your Name]. We met in high school where the lockers smelled like pizza and bad cologne. [Friend Name] fought harder than anyone I have known and told the truth about that fight. He did not want sympathy. He wanted understanding and change. I remember the night he finally talked about it and how he used humor to make the rest of us listen. He taught me how to ask hard questions and to sit without answers. To [Family Member] thank you for your strength and for sharing him with us. I will carry his courage with me.

Full Short Eulogy Examples You Can Adapt

Below are three full short eulogies. Use them as templates. Replace names places and specific details. They are written at different tones so you can pick the one that fits the vibe.

Short Eulogy Example A - Warm and funny

Hello everyone my name is Jordan. I met Mia in second grade and she stole my best crayon and then refused to give it back until I promised to be her friend. That promise stuck for the rest of our lives. Mia had a ridiculous knack for making everything into a story. A trip to the grocery store became an epic quest and a broken bike turned into a morality play. She could turn a bad day into a ritual of ridiculousness that made you breathe again. She loved thrift store dresses and terrible pop songs and she thought nothing of packing a backpack at midnight to take the bus to some show. What I learned from Mia is that the point of life is to be wildly curious and to drag your friends along. Thank you to her family for letting us love her. I will miss her forever and I will try to be a little more Mia every day.

Short Eulogy Example B - Quiet and reflective

Hi I am Sam. I first met Leo when our mothers sat us next to each other at a school play. He was quiet then and he was quiet when we were thirty. That quiet was not emptiness. It was depth. Leo listened like someone collecting evidence of wonder. He noticed small things and remembered them. When I was sick he brought tea and did not try to fix me. He simply sat and read out loud while I fell asleep. His steadiness taught me that love is not always dramatic. Sometimes love is presence. Thank you to Leo's family for sharing him. I hope to honor him by being more present with the people I love.

Short Eulogy Example C - Honest and a little raw

My name is Riley. We were thirteen the first time we thought we might lose each other to different cities and different choices. We promised we would not let that happen and then life happened which is messy and persistent. [Friend Name] was the person who would call in the middle of the night and say tell me what is wrong and then actually wait while you told them. They were brave in ways we did not notice until they were gone. They taught me that courage is sometimes staying when it would be easier to walk away. I am grateful for their bluntness their loyalty and for the way they made ordinary nights feel important. Thank you to the family for letting us be part of his life. I will miss him every day.

Language That Works and Language to Avoid

What to say

• Use concrete nouns and short verbs
• Use first person to make it personal
• Choose one or two emotional words and repeat them in different contexts

What to avoid

• A laundry list of biographical facts without story
• Private jokes that exclude most listeners
• Speculation about cause of death unless family asked you to mention it

How to Write Under Pressure

Grief scrambles focus. If you are writing in the days after a loss here is a quick process to get something usable into your phone or on paper.

1. Set a timer for thirty minutes and draft freely. Do not edit. Get the stories out.
2. After a short break read aloud and underline the lines that make you feel something.
3. Choose one opening line and one closing line from the underlined parts and build the draft between them.
4. Trim anything that repeats without adding new meaning.
5. Read out loud one last time and mark places to breathe.

Breathing Techniques to Read While Crying

Being emotional while speaking will slow your pace. Here are simple breathing hacks to help you continue even when your throat tightens.

• Breathe in through your nose for three counts and out through your mouth for five counts. This helps slow the panic response.
• Place a hand on your belly so you can feel the breath moving. That sensation calms the body.
• Underline a short pause in your text at the end of each paragraph so you have permission to breathe.
• If you need to stop and compose yourself step aside or ask the officiant for a moment. People expect emotion in this setting.

Practical Tips for Delivery

• Print your speech on paper. A phone screen can be hard to read if you are shaking.
• Use larger font and double space. Mark places to inhale.
• Practice once or twice out loud. Practicing helps you find where you will likely need to pause.
• Have water nearby. Take small sips rather than large ones.
• If you think you will collapse emotionally arrange for someone to give the speech for you or to step in if you need a break. That is okay.
• Tell the officiant beforehand how long you want to speak and whether you will include music or photos. Coordination reduces awkward pauses.

Religious or Secular Language

If the family has a religious tradition follow their lead. If no one has asked you to include prayers or scripture you can choose secular language. Phrases like rest in peace and condolences are widely acceptable. If you want to use a quote from scripture or a faith text run it by the family first. If you are not religious avoid pretending to be. Plain honest language often rings truer.

What If You Cannot Speak

Maybe you are too close or the grief feels too sharp. You can still contribute in other meaningful ways.

• Write a short note for someone to read for you
• Record a voice message that will be played during the service
• Ask a sibling or mutual friend to read your prepared words
• Prepare a letter that will be included in the program or on a memory table

Checklist for the Day

• Draft printed in large font
• One trusted person knows your plan
• Water and tissues on hand
• Contact info for officiant and family saved
• Dress comfortably so you do not need to adjust mid reading
• Time estimate known and shared if other speakers are scheduled

Editing Passes That Make the Eulogy Stronger

Run two quick editing passes.

1. Cut pass Remove anything that repeats without adding meaning. If a sentence stands alone without serving a core truth delete it.
2. Clarify pass Replace vague words with details. Instead of she was generous write she baked pies for neighbors who were sick.

Prompts to Generate Strong Lines

• What is one small object that always made you think of them
• What is one sound that brings them back to you
• What was their most reliable habit
• What did they forgive you for that you still feel guilty about
• When did they surprise you with kindness

Common Fears and Real Answers

I am afraid I will cry and forget my words

Everyone expects emotion. If you cry that proves what you feel. Practice helps and a printed script provides a safety net. If your voice breaks pause take a breath and continue. The room will support you.

I do not want to write something cheesy

Cheesy comes from platitudes without specifics. Replace lines like she was a great friend with a short scene that shows why she was great. Specificity beats grand statements every time.

I am not a good writer

You do not have to be. Speak like you talk. Use short sentences. If you want help shape the draft around one or two stories and let those stories carry the emotion.

Do Nots When Writing a Eulogy

• Do not use this space to air grievances about the family
• Do not rail about political topics unless the family explicitly requested it
• Do not reveal private medical details unless family asked you to mention them
• Do not use inside jokes that exclude the group

When to Mention Cause of Death

Only mention cause of death if the family is comfortable. In some cases families want to be transparent like when the death can prevent stigma or encourage awareness. In other cases families prefer privacy. Ask before you include details. If you are unsure say nothing explicit and focus on the person instead.

How to Close the Eulogy

End with a brief line that gives the audience a place to land. A short reading a quote a lyric a line from the person or your private good bye all work. Close with a request if the family wants it like a moment of silence or a song. Keep the closing short so the emotion does not swell without containment.

Closing line ideas

• Goodbye [Name] thank you for everything.
• We will carry you with us in the small moments every day.
• Rest easy friend until our next ridiculous adventure.
• We love you and we will not forget.

Sample Closing Quote Options

• "What we have once enjoyed we can never lose." This is a natural short quote that points to memory.
• "I carry your heart with me" This lyric style line works for intimate services.
• "Be brave enough to mourn and brave enough to love again." Use only if it fits the feel.

FAQ

How do I start writing a eulogy for a childhood friend

Begin by listing three short memories. Pick the two that reveal character most clearly. Draft a one sentence opening that names you and your relationship. Build the middle around the two stories and finish with what the friendship taught you plus a short closing line.

How long should the eulogy be

Five minutes is a good target for most situations. If many people are scheduled to speak keep it to two to three minutes. If you are the primary speaker and the family wants a long tribute aim for seven to nine minutes. Always practice out loud because emotional reading takes longer.

What if I do not remember many stories

Focus on small details like habits objects and favorite places. A single meaningful object can trigger a paragraph of memory. Ask mutual friends to share one memory and pick the one that feels most honest to you.

Should I include jokes

Yes if it feels authentic and the family is comfortable. Keep humor kind and not cruel. Avoid anything that could embarrass survivors. A single light joke that reveals personality can be restorative.

What is the difference between a eulogy and an obituary

An obituary is a published notice that often lists facts about the life and funeral logistics. A eulogy is a personal speech given to honor and remember the person. One can reference the other but they serve different functions.