How to Write a Eulogy for Your Best Friend - Eulogy Examples & Tips

You have to speak at the service and your chest feels like it is full of marbles. You love your friend. You miss your friend. You are terrified you will say the wrong thing. This guide gives you real help, no fluff. You will get clear structure, edgy but respectful wording examples you can borrow, and practical delivery tips so your voice holds when you need it most. We explain terms and acronyms so nothing feels like a secret code. We also give multiple example eulogies and templates you can customize.

This is written for people who want to say something honest and human without sounding insincere or stiff. Grab a notebook. We will move through deciding what to include, picking the tone, building a simple structure, editing for clarity, practicing so the words land, and what to do if you cannot finish the speech.

Why this matters

Giving a eulogy is not public performance. It is a final act of care for your friend. Words matter because they cradle the story people carry after the funeral. A good eulogy does three things at once. It honors the deceased. It helps people remember. It creates a space for grief that feels human and honest. You do not need to be a poet to do this well. You need to be deliberate and true to the person you loved.

Before you start writing

Take two deep breaths. This is okay. Then gather three things.

• A list of memories and facts. These are the raw materials. Write down small scenes, specific quotes they used, nicknames, favorite foods, job facts, and who they loved.
• A sense of the service. Ask the family if the tone should be formal, casual, religious, spiritual, or purposely light. This helps you find the right voice.
• Time limit. Many services will give you a time window. If they do not, aim for five to eight minutes. That is long enough to feel meaningful and short enough to keep listeners present.

Key terms you should know

We will use some terms that sound like insider words. If you have not heard them do not worry. Here are quick explanations.

• Eulogy A speech that honors someone who has died. It usually focuses on memory and meaning rather than logistics.
• Obituary A written notice of a death often published in newspapers or online. It includes facts like name, date, survivors, and funeral details.
• Order of service A printed or spoken schedule of what will happen at the funeral or memorial. It shows where the eulogy fits.
• Master of Ceremonies or MC The person running the service. They will cue you when it is your turn to speak.
• Memorial A gathering that focuses on memory rather than a burial. A memorial can be held after the burial date. People sometimes use funeral and memorial interchangeably.

How to choose the tone

Your best friend had a personality. The tone of the eulogy should reflect that personality. If they were bright and sarcastic, a rigid formal tone will feel wrong. If they were quiet and spiritual, a hyper casual joke fest will feel off. Here are simple tone choices and when to use them.

• Warm and conversational Use when your friend was friendly and loved being around people.
• Funny and affectionate Use when your friend used humor as a core part of their identity. Keep jokes gentle and avoid anything that could embarrass family members.
• Sober and reflective Use when your friend had a quieter life or when the family requests a solemn tone.
• Faith based Use if the service is religious. Include prayers or scripture only with family permission.

You can mix tones. A great eulogy often starts with warmth, moves through specific stories that may be funny, and lands with something honest about the way the friendship changed you.

Structure that keeps it simple

Follow a structure so you do not ramble. Use three parts. Introduction, memory core, closing. That is all you need. Keep it clear.

Introduction

Say who you are and how you knew the person. Offer one short line that frames the talk. Keep the first thirty seconds simple. It helps both you and the audience breathe.

Memory core

Pick three moments or themes that show who your friend was. These can be short anecdotes. Focus on scenes that include sensory detail. Add exact phrasing they used when possible. This makes the person visible on the stage of memory.

Closing

End with one line that people can carry. This can be a hope, a promise, a favorite quote of your friend, or a short reading. Do not try to summarize their whole life. Give one clear image or future oriented wish. That is what sticks.

How to pick which memories to include

People often feel like they must list everything. Do not. Less is more. Select moments that reveal character. Use these filters.

• Truth Choose things that actually happened and that you remember clearly. Memory gets messy. When possible check facts with family or a mutual friend.
• Specificity Prefer details over general statements. A single object can anchor a memory. Instead of saying they loved music, mention the scratched copy of a mixtape or the car stereo that only ever played one playlist.
• Emotional arc Choose memories that show growth or contrast. Maybe your friend could be loud but also unexpectedly kind when someone needed them. That contradiction reveals depth.
• Audience kindness Avoid stories that will publicly shame someone or drag up private pain. Protect shared dignity.

Tone examples you can copy

Below are short tone examples. These are one paragraph models you can lift or adapt. Use them as an attitude guide.

Warm and honest

My name is Sam and I met Alex in college where we both ruined our sleep schedules and learned how to make coffee taste like hope. Alex had a way of noticing small things like when you were pretending to be okay. He would show up with a sandwich and a terrible playlist and somehow make you believe that everything would sort itself out. That seemed to be his default setting. He cared hard and without drama.

Funny and affectionate

I am Jess and I am legally obligated to tell you that Martin was a terrible driver. He once tried to parallel park a minivan on a street with no curb and blamed the GPS for having poor taste in roads. But Martin also had a superpower. He could make you laugh at your worst day by saying one ridiculous thing and then looking surprised that it worked. He taught us that nothing good is ruined by a badly timed joke.

Sober and reflective

My name is Priya. Raj taught me how to listen like it matters. Not just waiting for a turn to speak but leaning in with the idea that what you say can change a day. He believed in small acts of service and showed them often. Because of him we started a project to bring books to kids who did not have a library. That is the quiet legacy he leaves behind.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are five complete example eulogies with different tones and lengths. Each is written for a best friend and includes bracketed notes you can replace with specific details. You may copy whole paragraphs if they feel right.

Example 1 Short and warm five minutes

My name is Taylor. I am honored and broken to be here to celebrate Sam. We met when we both applied for the student radio show because neither of us wanted to study for finals. Sam was the person who would arrive with the world in a backpack and still find room to lend you something. I remember a night during sophomore year when my roommate locked us out of our apartment. Instead of panicking Sam took out a deck of cards, invited strangers on the stoop, and turned the lockout into a long conversation that lasted until sunrise. That felt like him. He noticed people who were tired and made them less tired by staying awake with them. Sam loved his dog Nala more than he loved punctuality. He was proud of the tiny garden he nurtured on the fire escape. He could be stubborn in the most adorable way and would argue with you about how many chili flakes a pizza truly needed. I learned patience, loyalty, and how to laugh at myself from him. If you want to honor Sam, remember to check in on people, make space at your table, and treat kindness as a daily exercise. I miss him with all my chest. I love you Sam.

Example 2 Funny and human six minutes

Hi everyone. I am Marcus. If you are here you probably know at least one embarrassing Martin story. I will save you from most of them and give you the best one. Martin had a relationship with a record player that would embarrass a rom com. Once he tried to impress a date by showing off his vinyl knowledge. He put on an album, pronounced the band a masterpiece, and then the record skipped for the entire first song. Without missing a beat he declared that the skip was "part of the remastered charm" and the date laughed so hard she spilled wine on him. That is the Martin effect. He could turn mistakes into scenes you wanted to be in. But he was not only a comedian. He was the person who left work early to bring his neighbor to a doctor appointment when no one else could. He remembered birthdays nobody remembered. He forgave people fast and sincerely. My favorite thing about Martin was how he measured life by moments of attention. He would tell you the date of the best taco he ever ate because he remembered who he was with. Let us honor him by being present with each other. And if you find a dusty vinyl in the attic play it loud. Martin would want that.

Example 3 Sober reflective eight minutes

Good afternoon. I am Lina and I was Mira's friend for fifteen years. Mira had a rhythm to her life that felt intentional. She rose early to write in a notebook she kept on her nightstand. She loved her work in public health because she did not want to wait for change to happen. If Mira saw an upset in the world she leaned in with an email, a coffee, or a plan. I remember the winter she organized a community food drive after a factory closed and people were left without pay. She moved the town with a list and a voice that did not grow weary. Her laugh was soft and then suddenly loud. She did not like attention but she believed in justice. I learned from Mira that courage is often quiet and that integrity looks like showing up when no one notices. I will miss her precise handwriting, her insistence on good bread, and the way she would text a weird poem just to make you look up. Today we mourn what is gone and we also inherit what she left. Let us carry her impulse to act kindly forward in small practical ways. That will honor her life in a language she understands.

Example 4 Short secular five minutes with a chosen reading

Hello. I am Ken. I met Dana at a book club and we immediately argued about whether the protagonist deserved sympathy. That was Dana. She loved debate more than easy answers. One of my favorites is the way she would collect postcards from places she never visited. She would stick them in her freezer because she liked how the images softened against the cold. This small ritual made me think that hope is sometimes a small curated object. If Dana taught me anything it was to keep your curiosities visible. I would like to close with a line she loved from a poem that we read once in a coffee shop. It says: "We are the keepers of each small bright thing." That sounds right for Dana. May we keep the bright things she left behind.

Example 5 For a friend who died young or unexpectedly seven minutes

My name is Noor. I am angry and I am grateful to be standing here. I met Aaron at a gig and we bonded over a shared love for terrible coffee and good records. He had plans like anyone. He wanted to start a podcast about small businesses. He was learning how to make sourdough. Because Aaron left early we are left with a list of beginnings. I will not pretend I have an answer for why he is gone. What I can say is that he showed us how to be brave about small things. He taught us that it is possible to be vulnerable and still be funny. I keep a voice message from him where he screams at a dog on a TV show for ten seconds and then apologizes to me because he is laughing. I will miss his voice and the way his plans always included other people. If you loved Aaron consider doing one small beginning he wanted to do. Make a playlist he would approve of. Help a local store he mentioned. In that way a life continues in motion even when it stops.

Templates you can copy and paste

Here are easy templates with blank slots for you to fill. Each template follows the three part structure. Replace bracketed text with your words.

Template A Warm short

Hello everyone. My name is [Your name] and I have been [Friend name] friend for [time]. I remember the first time we met at [place]. From that day [brief character note]. One memory I keep is when [short anecdote with small sensory detail]. That moment shows how [one value or trait]. [Friend name] loved [hobby or object], and if you ever want to honor them do [concrete action]. I will miss [one personal detail]. Thank you for sharing this time with me.

Template B Funny and honest

Hi. I am [Your name]. We met [where]. [Friend name] had the gift of [funny trait] and a softer side that surprised you. I will tell you a short story to prove both. Once [anecdote that ends in a small reveal]. That story shows both their humor and their heart. If you want to remember [Friend name] do not overthink it. Talk about them, laugh about them, and tell someone a story they would approve of. They would ask you to eat extra dessert and to be kind to strangers.

Template C Reflective and longer

Good morning. I am [Your name] and I was [Friend name] friend for [time]. When I try to sum up who they were I come back to three words. First, [word] because [example]. Second, [word] because [example]. Third, [word] because [example]. Together these things made [Friend name] who they were. One small story I want to share is [detailed anecdote with three sensory details]. That story changed how I think about [topic]. In closing I want to say [one line that names a hope or promise]. Thank you for listening.

Practical editing rules

Now that you have a draft follow these editing checks. They are quick and effective.

• Read out loud If a sentence trips in speech it will trip in delivery. Edit for natural rhythm.
• Cut the long paragraph Break paragraphs after two to four sentences. Short paragraphs are easier to follow while people cry.
• Replace abstractions Swap broad statements like "she was kind" for small evidence like "she brought extra sweaters to late night walks."
• Check names and dates Confirm the spelling of names and key facts with family. Mistakes are painful in this moment.
• Ask permission If you use a story that involves someone else in a sensitive way ask them if they are comfortable.

How long should a eulogy be

Five to eight minutes is a good target. Most listeners can stay present for about that long. Shorter can be powerful if you make it precise. If you have permission to speak longer do so only if the content stays focused. If you are given a strict time limit write to it and practice with a timer.

Delivery tips so your voice does not betray you

Speaking through grief is hard. Use practical techniques that help your voice and your presence.

• Pause is power Use short pauses to breathe and to let the audience absorb a line. Pauses also give you time to collect yourself.
• Keep water handy Sip before you start and keep a bottle in reach. Dry throat is common.
• Anchor your notes Use index cards with short prompts rather than a full page scripture style. Big blocks of text are harder to read under stress.
• Practice with emotion Read the eulogy out loud three times. Practice in the room if you can. Practice with a friend who can give one quick note. The goal is to make the words feel familiar.
• Use a microphone if available A mic allows you to speak softly and honestly. If you cannot use a mic learn to project from the diaphragm rather than the throat.
• It is okay to stop If you cannot finish the speech ask the MC to continue or to invite someone else up. Audiences are forgiving. They are grieving too.

What to say if you cannot stop crying

If tears make finishing impossible you have options. You can hand the notes to the MC and ask them to read the ending. You can ask for a brief pause and try again. You can also invite the audience into your grief by saying a short sentence like I am sorry I am struggling to get this out and then pause. People will understand. If you preface your talk with I might not make it through they will not see this as weakness but as honesty.

How to handle funny stories with care

Humor is powerful. It can make grief lighter and more honest. Use these guidelines.

• Protect privacy Avoid jokes that reveal private pain or medical details you do not have permission to share.
• Punch up not down Jokes should not humiliate people who are grieving or already vulnerable.
• Keep it brief One or two light moments are enough. Let the rest be steady and kind.
• Test the joke Try it on someone in the family if possible. If they laugh you are probably okay.

Religious and spiritual considerations

If the family has religious rituals follow them. Ask which readings they prefer. If you plan to include a prayer use language that is inclusive unless you know the congregation shares the same faith. When in doubt choose a secular closing line or a short poem rather than a prayer you are not sure of.

What if you are not the only speaker

Coordinate. Ask the MC who else will speak and what they will cover. Do not repeat long stories others already shared. Instead offer a complementary angle such as how your friend showed up in your daily life. Collaboration keeps the service varied and more meaningful.

Examples of closing lines people remember

Close with a line that can be repeated and that gives people something to hold. Here are examples you can adapt.

• Bring the light you found with them into the next day.
• We will miss you every day and we will try to be kinder because of you.
• [Name] taught me that small acts matter. Do one small act in their name.
• Keep telling their stories. That is how they stay alive.
• Rest easy and travel well friend. We will carry you forward.

Legal and logistical things to confirm before you speak

Double check a few practical items with the family or funeral director before the service.

• Start time and your speaking slot
• Microphone availability and who will handle tech
• Any content the family requests you omit
• Whether they want to include music at specific moments
• Who will follow you if you are unable to continue

Resources for grief and support

If you find writing the eulogy overwhelming you are not alone. Consider these options.

• Ask a close friend or family member to co write with you
• Hire a professional writer or celebrant for a single edit session
• Look for grief counseling or peer support groups in your area
• Use online grief resources with worksheets for memory gathering

Safety note about sensitive deaths

If the death involved addiction, suicide, or a crime be especially careful. Respect family wishes about what to say. Avoid graphic details. If the death is by suicide the community often benefits from supportive language that discourages stigma. Phrases like He died by suicide are preferable to he committed suicide. If you are unsure which phrasing to use ask a family member or a grief professional. If there are legal complexities consult with the family or the funeral director before you speak.

Practice checklist the day before

1. Print your notes on index cards. Number them.
2. Do a full read out loud at least three times. Time yourself.
3. Practice with a friend and ask for one tip about pacing.
4. Confirm arrival time at the venue and who will cue you.
5. Get a good night sleep if possible and bring water and tissues.

What to do after the service

People will want to talk. Be ready to listen. You might be asked to share further memories with family. That is okay. Keep your phone and notes backed up so you can send a copy of your eulogy if someone asks. Consider writing a version of your eulogy to post online if the family agrees. That becomes a permanent memory resource for people who could not attend.

Common questions people ask

How personal should I be

Be personal in ways that illuminate character. Avoid lingering on details that embarrass or betray trust. If in doubt check with someone in the family.

Can I read a poem instead of speaking

Yes. A poem can be beautiful. If you read a poem and add a short introduction it will feel anchored. Practice the poem out loud so it does not sound like a reading from a card catalog.

Is it okay to laugh while giving a eulogy

Yes. Laughter is part of grieving. If a memory produces laughter let it happen. It can be a relief for listeners. Let the moment breathe and then continue.

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