Writing a eulogy for your broski can feel like walking a tightrope between tears and laughter. He might have been the guy who crashed your couch, stole your hoodies, and somehow became family anyway. Whether you are speaking at a funeral, memorial, or a laid back celebration of life, this guide gives you a clear plan, fun and heartfelt sample scripts, and straight up tips for getting through it. We explain any terms you might not know and give templates you can steal and customize.
We know how hard that can feel. You are sorting through precious memories, searching for the right words, and trying to hold it together when it is time to speak. It is a lot to carry.
That is why we created a simple step by step eulogy writing guide. It gently walks you through what to include, how to shape your thoughts, and how to feel more prepared when the moment comes. → Find Out More
Quick Links to Useful Sections
- Who this guide is for
- What is a eulogy
- How long should a eulogy be
- Before you start writing
- Structure that works
- How to write the opening
- Writing the life snapshot
- Anecdotes that land
- Roasts and humor done right
- Addressing complicated friendships
- What to avoid in a eulogy for a friend
- Full eulogy examples you can adapt
- Example 1: Short and heartfelt, about three minutes
- Example 2: Roast with heart, about three to four minutes
- Example 3: Quiet and honest, for complicated friendships
- Fill in the blank templates
- Practical tips for delivery
- When tears come
- Including music, drinks, and rituals
- Logistics and who to tell
- Checklist before you step up
- Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Frequently asked questions
Who this guide is for
This article is for anyone asked to speak about a male friend who meant a lot to a group of friends. Maybe you were the roommate, the teammate, the best man, the gaming partner, or the friend who would show up when things got messy. Maybe you are not a natural public speaker. That is okay. There are examples for short comments, roast friendly tributes, sober and honest reflections, and a few templates you can personalize.
What is a eulogy
A eulogy is a short speech that honors someone who has died. It usually happens during a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is different from an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that lists basic facts like dates, survivors, and service info. A eulogy is personal. It shares stories and feelings. It does not need to be perfect.
Terms you might see
- Obituary A written notice about a death that includes biographical details and service information.
- Order of service The schedule for the event listing speakers, readings, and music. Think of it as the program.
- Pallbearer Someone chosen to help carry the casket. Usually close friends or family.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and favorite songs.
- Open mic A part of the event where friends can stand up and share short memories. Check with the organizer if this will happen.
- Officiant The person leading the service. Could be a clergy member, a celebrant, or a friend who has been asked to run the event.
How long should a eulogy be
Short and clear is better than long and scattered. Aim for three to five minutes for most friend eulogies. That equals roughly four to seven hundred words when spoken aloud at a steady pace. If many people are speaking, keep it under three minutes. A compact tribute feels intentional and respectful of everyone s time and emotion.
Before you start writing
Having a small plan makes everything easier. Use this checklist as your starting point.
- Ask about timing Confirm how long you should speak and where your remarks fit in the order of service.
- Decide the tone Do you want to be funny, solemn, or a mix of both? Check with family or a close mutual friend so your tone fits the audience.
- Gather material Get a handful of quick stories, favorite sayings, nicknames, and a few concrete details he would have been proud of.
- Pick two or three focus points Pick a couple of traits or memories you want people to leave remembering. Too many points can dilute the speech.
- Ask permission for jokes If you plan to roast him, make sure the family is comfortable with that style.
Structure that works
A simple structure gives your speech shape and permission to be human. Use this basic form and you will not go wrong.
- Opening Say your name and how you knew him. One short sentence sets the tone.
- Life snapshot A quick overview of who he was in roles that matter friend roommate teammate brother coworker.
- One or two anecdotes Short stories that show his personality. Keep them specific and sensory.
- What he taught you Pull out a lesson or a habit people can remember him by.
- Closing A farewell line, a quote, or an invitation for the audience to share a memory or raise a toast.
How to write the opening
Open with something simple. Start with your name and your relationship. Then add one small true sentence about your broski that gives the room a quick anchor.
Opening examples
- Hey everyone. I am Jamal. I met Alex in college and he was the guy who could make a broken speaker sound like a headline act.
- Hello. I am Priya. I was Sam s roommate for five years. If you ever needed a midnight pizza tour guide Sam was your man.
- Hi. I am Nora. I played on the same team as Marcus. He called fouls on strangers and never backed down from a good playlist battle.
Writing the life snapshot
The life snapshot is not a resume. It is a handful of lines that show the person in relatable roles. Mention what he loved doing and how he showed up for others.
Life snapshot templates
- [Name] grew up in [place] and later moved to [city]. He worked as [job] and loved [hobby]. He was a friend who always [small habit].
- [Name] was the guy who [quirky habit]. He cared about [value], and he showed love by [practical action].
Anecdotes that land
Stories are the meat of a eulogy. Keep them brief and pick stories with a little setup and a payoff. People remember small moments that reveal character more than long lists of achievements.
Good anecdote choices for a broski
- The time he saved the road trip by fixing a tire with nothing but a burger wrapper and optimism.
- The prank that went sideways and then somehow became everyone s favorite tradition.
- The late night conversation when he showed up with coffee and listened until the sun rose.
- The way he always brought extra gloves to a game because someone would inevitably forget theirs.
Roasts and humor done right
Humor can be a gift at a memorial. It lets people breathe. If you roast, make sure the jokes are kind and that family is okay with it. A good roast shows affection. It does not humiliate.
Safe roast examples
Being asked to give a eulogy is an honour, but it can feel daunting when you are grieving. This guide offers a calm, step by step process so you are not starting from a blank page alone.
You will learn how to:
- Gather memories with simple prompts.
- Shape them into a clear structure.
- Choose wording that sounds like you when read aloud.
What is inside: short outlines, prompts, example eulogies and delivery tips to support you from first notes to final reading.
Perfect for: family, friends and colleagues who want to honour a loved one with sincere, manageable words.
- He treated his plants worse than his car, and somehow they still survived him. That is talent.
- If you asked for two minute help he would give you ten stories and forget the actual task. It was part of the charm.
- He never met a playlist he could not overdo. We will remember the music and our ears will slowly forgive him.
Addressing complicated friendships
Not every friendship is flawless. If your relationship had tension you can still speak honestly without airing private grievances. Focus on a small truth, a moment of growth, or a real gesture he made.
Examples for complicated friendships
- We argued. We said things we regretted. Still he showed up when it mattered and that is what I will remember most.
- He was stubborn and sometimes irritating. He also taught me to stand up for what I thought was right. I am grateful for that push.
- We had seasons apart. The last time we sat together he apologized for things he could not change. That moment mattered.
What to avoid in a eulogy for a friend
- Avoid long brag lists without a personal story to make them human.
- Avoid gossip, private family disputes, or anything that will cause pain to those present.
- Avoid jokes that single out someone in the room.
- Avoid trying to be someone you are not. Authenticity beats performance.
Full eulogy examples you can adapt
Below are full examples you can personalize. Swap names and details to make them yours.
Example 1: Short and heartfelt, about three minutes
Hey everyone. I am Marco and I have been Dan s friend since freshman year. He was the guy who could make instant noodles into a five star meal and a broken road trip into the best story you d tell for years.
Dan grew up in the suburbs and moved here after college. He worked as a mechanic and loved fixing things because he liked the proof of effort. He was the first to offer help and the last to brag about it.
One memory that sticks is the night my car died in the rain. Dan showed up with a tarp, a toolbox, and terrible jokes to keep me laughing. We ended up sitting on the curb talking until the rain softened. That night he reminded me that help can come with small kindnesses and bad puns.
He taught me to slow down and to notice the small stuff like a good cup of coffee and a clear sky. I will miss him but I will try to live like he did which is to show up and to make people laugh along the way. Thanks for being here and for holding Dan with us.
Example 2: Roast with heart, about three to four minutes
Hi. I am Carlos. If you ever borrowed something from Pete you either got it back or you got a new story about why he had to keep it. He was the only person I know who treated his sneakers like family heirlooms.
Pete loved fantasy football, conspiracy podcasts, and telling anyone willing to listen how he once beat a parking ticket with a clever argument involving a dog and municipal sympathy. He did not always win arguments but he always made us laugh trying.
The best example of Pete s heart was when Anna lost her keys on move in day. Pete dropped dinner, went across town, found the keys in a hedge, and handed them back with a flourish. He would make you a bad joke and then make sure you were okay. That was Pete.
Being asked to give a eulogy is an honour, but it can feel daunting when you are grieving. This guide offers a calm, step by step process so you are not starting from a blank page alone.
You will learn how to:
- Gather memories with simple prompts.
- Shape them into a clear structure.
- Choose wording that sounds like you when read aloud.
What is inside: short outlines, prompts, example eulogies and delivery tips to support you from first notes to final reading.
Perfect for: family, friends and colleagues who want to honour a loved one with sincere, manageable words.
We will miss his ridiculous takes and the fact that every plan was better with him in it even if he was ten minutes late. Let s raise a glass to Pete and to all the times he made our lives stranger and better.
Example 3: Quiet and honest, for complicated friendships
Hello everyone. I am Leah. Ben was a complicated person and our friendship had its seasons. We fought, we made up, and sometimes we did not speak for months. The last year we had more honest conversations than any year before.
One night he called me and said he was scared. We sat on my fire escape and did not fix everything but we listened. In the end he taught me that showing up is sometimes the only thing that matters. For that I am grateful.
I will remember his loyalty in the small moments and the way he could make you feel seen by asking a question and listening until you answered. Thank you Ben. I will carry your willingness to try in the good and hard times.
Fill in the blank templates
Use these templates to draft your speech. Fill in the blanks and then read it out loud. Edit to make it sound like you.
Template A: Casual short
My name is [Your Name]. I met [Name] at [place or time]. He was the guy who [quirky habit]. One memory that captures him is [brief story]. He taught me [lesson]. I will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for honoring him.
Template B: Roast with love
Hey everyone. I am [Your Name]. To know [Name] was to know that [funny habit]. He also had a soft spot for [person or cause]. My favorite story is [funny but sweet story]. He could make you laugh and then be the first person to help you move. Cheers to him.
Template C: Honest and brief for complicated relationships
I am [Your Name]. My relationship with [Name] was complicated. We argued about [small example] and we made up over [shared ritual]. One thing I can honestly say is [short truth]. I am grateful for [what you are grateful for].
Practical tips for delivery
Speaking in public while grieving is hard. These tactics help you be steady.
- Print your speech Use large font so you do not have to squint. Paper is reliable when emotions run high.
- Use index cards One or two lines per card reduce the chance of losing your place and feel natural to hold.
- Mark pauses Put a note where you want the audience to laugh or where you will breathe. Pauses give you time to collect yourself.
- Practice out loud Read the speech to a friend or a mirror. Practice helps your throat and timing feel familiar.
- Bring water and tissues A quick sip can steady your voice. Tissues are practical and normal.
- Ask for backup Arrange for a friend to introduce you or to finish your last line if you need them to. It is okay to plan help.
- Mic technique Keep the mic a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal volume. If there is no mic project to the back row slowly and clearly.
When tears come
If you get choked up take a breath and look at your notes. Pause. Slow your pace down. You do not need to pretend you are not crying. The room will support you. If you cannot continue ask your backup friend to jump in. Most people find a short, truthful pause more powerful than trying to force words out.
Including music, drinks, and rituals
For a broski a short song or a quick toast can be perfect. Consider a two to three line lyric or an instrumental clip rather than a long playlist. If the family wants a beer toast make sure the venue allows it and that the officiant is comfortable. Simple rituals like asking everyone to share a one line memory can also be meaningful.
Logistics and who to tell
- Tell the officiant or event organizer that you will speak and confirm your time limit.
- Ask if there will be a mic and if you can hand out copies of your speech.
- Let a close family member know the tone of your remarks especially if you plan to roast.
- Provide a copy of your speech to the person running the program in case they want to include it in a memory book.
Checklist before you step up
- Confirm time limit with the organizer.
- Print a backup copy and use index cards for key lines.
- Practice at least two or three times out loud.
- Mark emotional beats so you know when to pause.
- Bring a small signal to a friend who can step in if you need help.
Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
- Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
- Order of service The plan for the event listing the sequence of readings, music, and speakers.
- Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket. Often family or close friends.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and music.
- Officiant The person leading the ceremony. Could be clergy or a friend asked to run the event.
- Open mic A part of the event where attendees can share memories. Check with the organizer if this will happen.
Frequently asked questions
How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous
Start by saying your name and your relationship to the deceased. A short opening like Hey I am Sam and I was Alex s friend gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It steadies you when you step up.
What if I forget my place or start crying
Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. The audience will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated friend ready to step in and finish a paragraph. That is a normal plan to have.
Can I include jokes in the eulogy
Yes you can include humor. Use jokes that come from real memories and do not single out or embarrass people present. Test any roast material with someone close to the family to make sure it lands in a loving way.
Is it okay to speak about complicated parts of our friendship
Yes. Be honest without being cruel. Acknowledge complexity and focus on lessons or small reconciliations. You do not need to detail private conflicts in public.
How long should a friend eulogy be
Three to five minutes is a good target. If many people are speaking aim for two to three minutes. Shorter speeches are often more memorable and easier to deliver when emotions are high.
Should I read from my phone
You can but paper or index cards are often easier when emotions run high. If you use a phone make sure it is on silent and the screen stays lit. Practice with the device so you are comfortable with page movement and scrolling.
Being asked to give a eulogy is an honour, but it can feel daunting when you are grieving. This guide offers a calm, step by step process so you are not starting from a blank page alone.
You will learn how to:
- Gather memories with simple prompts.
- Shape them into a clear structure.
- Choose wording that sounds like you when read aloud.
What is inside: short outlines, prompts, example eulogies and delivery tips to support you from first notes to final reading.
Perfect for: family, friends and colleagues who want to honour a loved one with sincere, manageable words.