How to Write a Eulogy for Your Bro - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your brother feels impossible and necessary at the same time. You want to honor him, tell real stories, and get through speaking while feeling human. This guide gives you a clear method, lots of examples you can adapt, and delivery tips that actually work. We explain terms so nothing feels confusing and we give templates you can steal and personalize. Read through, pick a style, and start writing with confidence.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about their brother at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside. Maybe you are the obvious pick because you were the sibling who shared a room with him. Maybe you are the person who can stand up and talk without turning it into a therapy session. Maybe the relationship was complicated. That is okay. There are sample scripts for short, funny, messy, and heartfelt needs.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It is usually part of a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is personal. It is a story rather than a list of facts. An obituary is different. An obituary is a written notice that gives basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is allowed to be imperfect.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A published notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and funeral arrangements.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial, listing the sequence of readings, music, and speakers.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering focused on stories, photos, and memories rather than rituals.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. These are usually close relatives or friends.
• Officiant The person leading the service. This could be a religious leader, a funeral director, or a friend who agreed to speak.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort for someone nearing the end of life. It can be provided at home or in a facility and is not always associated with a specific building.
• RSVP An abbreviation from French that asks guests to confirm attendance. It stands for please respond.

How long should a eulogy for your brother be

Short and clear often lands better. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is roughly 400 to 800 spoken words. If multiple people are speaking, coordinate with family so the total time fits the plan. A tighter, honest tribute is usually more memorable than a long unfocused speech.

Before you start writing

Preparation makes this easier. Use this quick plan to get organized.

• Ask about time Confirm how long you are expected to speak and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
• Decide on tone Do you want to be solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? Check with close family so the tone fits your brother and the audience.
• Gather material Collect dates, nicknames, quick stories, catch phrases, and favorite things. Ask siblings or friends for one memory each.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember. Three gives structure without being overwhelming.

Structure that works

Good structure keeps you on track and gives listeners something to hold onto. Use this simple shape.

• Opening Say who you are and your relationship to your brother. Offer one sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch A brief overview of his life in practical strokes. Dates are optional. Focus on roles like brother, friend, worker, coach, or creative.
• Anecdotes One or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific and sensory.
• Traits and lessons Summarize what he taught you or how he made life better for people around him.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a reading, a poem excerpt, or a call to action like lighting a candle or sharing a memory.

How to choose your tone

Think about what would feel true to him and helpful for the room. If he was the jokester, a splash of humor is fine. If he was private, keep things quieter and specific. If the relationship was complicated, you can be honest without being hurtful. Ask a close family member to check your tone before you finalize it.

Picking the stories that matter

People remember stories more than statements. Pick anecdotes that are short and have a payoff. A good story has a setup, something that happens, and a line that explains why it matters.

Examples of short anecdotes

• When we were kids he taught me to skateboard by letting me fall until I learned to get back up. He celebrated the tiny wins like they were championships.
• He had a terrible sense of direction and a perfect confidence about it. Once he took us to the beach and we ended up at a farm stand. We still call that the best accidental day ever.
• He would text random songs at two in the morning when he thought I needed a mood boost. Those random messages became our secret code for checking in.

Examples you can adapt

Below are full eulogies you can copy and personalize. Replace bracketed text with your details and tweak the voice so it sounds like you.

Example 1: Short and sweet, about three minutes

Hi everyone. I am Alex. I am Nate s sister. Nate loved tacos, late night soccer, and insisting he could fix anything with duct tape. He grew up in our neighborhood and never lost the habit of waving at everyone he passed. When he was sixteen he stole our dad s old camera and taught himself to take pictures of things nobody else noticed. Those photos are us in small quiet moments.

One memory I keep coming back to is the summer he learned to cook. He made a mess in the kitchen and then somehow turned that mess into the most delicious grilled cheese. He served it with a proud smile like he had invented comfort. That is who he was. He took the chaotic parts of life and turned them into something warm.

He taught me to be brave about small things and to show up for people even when it was inconvenient. I will miss his random advice and his loud laugh. Thank you for being here and for holding him with us.

Example 2: Funny and warm, about four minutes

Hello. I am Jordan, his brother. If you knew Marcus you know three things right away. He had the best collection of dad shirts, he thought every road trip needed a sandwich stop, and he believed fiercely in taking the long way home. Marcus could make a bad situation ridiculous and somehow better. He once turned a flat tire into a roadside pizza party. Only Marcus could do that.

He had this rule that you could never leave a party without trading a secret. I still have the secrets he traded and they are mostly terrible singing contests and the names of all the worst movies he loved. He taught me to not take myself too seriously and to treasure dumb moments. We will miss his ability to turn the stupid into the unforgettable.

Marcus lived loudly and loved louder. Thank you for celebrating him with us.

Example 3: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful

My name is Sam. My brother, Elijah, and I had a relationship that was sometimes messy. We fought about choices and we argued about what freedom meant. Over time we found a clearer way to say we cared even when we disagreed. In his last year we talked about things I had been too proud to ask. Those conversations mattered to both of us.

Elijah was stubborn and he had a heart that surprised people when they got to know him. He helped friends when he could and he could make you laugh with a single look. If I could say one thing directly to him it would be thank you. Thank you for the fights, because they taught me boundaries, and thank you for the small mercies, because they taught me how to forgive. Rest easy, brother.

Example 4: For a brother who died young

Hi. I am Maya, his sister. Losing Liam so early is an ache I did not expect. He was eighteen and already had a way of making everyone feel like a chosen friend. He loved history podcasts and he argued about pizza toppings like it was a civil right. In the short time he had he made friendships that felt like family.

A memory that always stops me is the afternoon he convinced his whole crew to build a cardboard fort in his living room. They emerged hours later looking like proud knights. That is the image I keep. That silly, stubborn joy. We will miss the future we imagined, but we will hold the things he already gave us. Thank you for being here with us today.

Fill in the blank templates

Pick a template and customize it to your brother. Read it out loud and trim anything that sounds forced.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Brother s Name] [sister brother sibling]. [Brother s Name] was born in [place or year]. He loved [hobby], worked as [job or student], and was the person we called when [small habit]. One memory that shows who he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.

Template B: Funny but sincere

Hey everyone. I am [Your Name], [Brother s Name] sibling. To know [Brother s Name] was to know that [quirky habit]. He also made sure we learned [practical life skill]. My favorite memory is [funny story]. He made us laugh and he made us try harder to be kind. I will miss his jokes and his weird movie recommendations. Thank you for celebrating him with us.

Template C: For complicated relationships

I am [Your Name]. My relationship with [Brother s Name] was complicated. We argued about [small example], but we also had moments of real connection like [brief story]. In the end I learned [what you learned]. If I could say one thing to him now it would be [short direct line].

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a public argument or airing private grievances.
• Avoid long lists of achievements without stories that show why those things mattered.
• Avoid inside jokes that exclude or confuse the audience. Tell a quick line that explains why it matters.
• Avoid cliches unless you immediately back them up with a specific detail that makes them true.

Using humor the right way

Humor can be a relief and a way to honor how your brother lived. Use jokes that feel earned and are based on real memories. Test them on a trusted friend and avoid anything that might embarrass him or someone in the room. Follow a joke with a sincere line to anchor the mood.

Practical tips for delivery

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to manage if emotions run high.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines per card help you keep your place.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where the audience might laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, to a mirror, or while walking. Practice helps your throat and heart prepare.
• Bring tissues and water A small bottle of water can help if your voice tightens up.
• Arrange a backup If you think you might not finish, ask a close friend or family member to stand by and finish a line if needed. Agree on a signal.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth if there is one. Speak slowly and project without shouting.

When you want to cry while reading

If tears come, that is okay. Pause, breathe, take a sip of water, and continue. If your voice breaks, slow down. Saying fewer words more slowly is often more powerful. The audience will wait and they want you to speak from the heart.

Including readings, poems, and music

Short readings work best. Pick a two to four line excerpt from a poem rather than reading a long piece. Readings can be religious or secular. Confirm the officiant is comfortable with the piece and print the text in the program if possible. For music, choose songs your brother loved or tracks that match the mood. Keep music short and use it to support the speech for example before or after the eulogy.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service so they can include it in the program if needed.

Recording and sharing the eulogy

Ask the family before posting a recording online. Some families prefer privacy. If you get permission, include a short note about how people can share memories or donate if there is a fund set up in his name. Many families appreciate having an audio or text copy to share with relatives who could not attend.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with family or officiant.
• Print your speech and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark emotional beats and pauses on your copy.
• Bring tissues and water.
• Tell a close person you might need a moment and arrange a signal if you want them to finish for you.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories and photos rather than rituals.
• Officiant The person leading the service. Can be religious or secular.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice can be provided at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase asking guests to please respond so hosts can plan attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Start with your name and your relationship to your brother. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Brother s Name] sibling gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you when you begin.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue, have a designated person ready to step in. A short note someone else can pick up from helps in this scenario.

Can I use humor in a eulogy for my brother

Yes. Small earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes that are based on real, kind memories and test them with a trusted friend. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members. Follow a joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone.

How do I write a eulogy if we were estranged

Be honest without being cruel. You can acknowledge distance and still highlight one or two true things you appreciated or learned. Keep the tribute short if that feels safer and focus on closure or a final thought you want to express.

How long should a eulogy be

Three to seven minutes is a good target. Short tributes tend to be memorable. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times so the service stays within the planned schedule.

Should I give a copy of the eulogy to the funeral home or officiant

Yes. Providing a copy helps the officiant and the person running the service stay on schedule and makes it easy to include the text in a program or memory book.

Can I record and share the eulogy online

Check with family before posting. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved include a short description and be mindful of the deceased s wishes.