Writing a eulogy for your boyfriend is one of the hardest things you may ever do and it can also feel like the most important way to honor him. This guide walks you through everything from first lines to full examples you can adapt. We explain terms you might not know and give realistic templates for several tones like tender, funny, short, and complicated. Read it, pick a template, and start shaping your words with confidence.
We know how hard that can feel. You are sorting through precious memories, searching for the right words, and trying to hold it together when it is time to speak. It is a lot to carry.
That is why we created a simple step by step eulogy writing guide. It gently walks you through what to include, how to shape your thoughts, and how to feel more prepared when the moment comes. → Find Out More
Quick Links to Useful Sections
- Who this guide is for
- What is a eulogy
- Terms and acronyms you might see
- How long should a eulogy for your boyfriend be
- Before you start writing
- Structure that works
- Writing the opening
- How to write the life snapshot
- Anecdotes that make people feel him
- Addressing complex relationships
- Using humor the right way
- What to avoid in a eulogy
- Full eulogy examples you can adapt
- Example 1: Tender partner, three to four minute version
- Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes
- Example 3: Funny and light with sincere ending
- Example 4: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful
- Fill in the blank templates
- Practical tips for delivery
- When you want to cry while reading
- How to include readings, poems, or music
- Logistics and who to tell
- After the eulogy
- Checklist before you step up to speak
- Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Frequently asked questions
Who this guide is for
This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about their boyfriend at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, or virtual gathering. Maybe you were partners for years or maybe your relationship was newer. Maybe you were the person who managed logistics and now you have the job of speaking. Whatever your situation, there are sample scripts for different vibes and time limits.
What is a eulogy
A eulogy is a short speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died. It is different from an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that usually includes basic facts like birth date, place of residence, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is a personal reflection made aloud. It is storytelling. It is allowed to be imperfect and emotional.
Terms and acronyms you might see
- Obituary A published notice that announces a death and often lists funeral arrangements and biographical basics.
- Order of service The schedule of the event that lists speakers, music, and readings. Think of it as the program for the ceremony.
- Celebration of life An alternative to a traditional funeral that tends to be less formal and more focused on stories, music, and photos.
- Officiant The person who leads the service. That could be a clergy person, a celebrant, or a close friend designated to guide the gathering.
- Virtual service A memorial held online using a video meeting platform. If you see this term it means the event will include remote participants.
- Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life near the end of life. Hospice care may be provided at home, in a facility, or in a hospital setting.
How long should a eulogy for your boyfriend be
Short and focused usually works best. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is roughly four hundred to eight hundred spoken words. If multiple people are speaking check the total time allowed so the service stays on schedule. A concise, honest tribute is often more powerful than a long speech that loses shape.
Before you start writing
Preparation helps the words come easier and steadier. Use this simple plan.
- Check timing Ask the family or officiant how long you are expected to speak and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
- Decide the tone Do you want to be quiet and tender, celebratory, funny, or some mix? Make sure the tone fits your boyfriend s personality and the family s wishes.
- Gather memories Collect a few concrete stories, nicknames, small habits, and favorite songs. Ask friends or close family members for one memory each.
- Pick two or three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about him such as his kindness, his practical jokes, his love for dogs, or his cooking.
Structure that works
A structure gives you a map and keeps the speech from feeling like freefall. Use this simple shape.
- Opening Say your name and your relationship to him. Offer one sentence that sets the tone.
- Life snapshot Give a brief overview of his life with practical strokes. Dates are optional. Focus on roles like son, partner, friend, co worker, or volunteer.
- Stories Tell one or two specific anecdotes that show who he was. Short stories land better than long lists of facts.
- Lessons and traits Sum up the values he lived by or the ways he changed people s lives.
- Closing End with a short goodbye line, a favorite lyric, a poem excerpt, or a call to action like lighting a candle or sharing a memory.
Writing the opening
The opening gives you a breath and the audience context. Keep it simple. Start with your name and relationship and then a one line idea about who he was to you.
Opening examples
- Hello. I am Jamie and I was Alex s partner. Today we are here to remember how he made every playlist feel like home.
- Hi everyone. I am Pri and I was Sam s girlfriend. I want to share a few small things that show how he loved fiercely and quietly.
- Good afternoon. My name is Chris and I am Theo s partner. If you knew him you knew his laugh came before his words and that he spelled loyalty with actions.
How to write the life snapshot
The life snapshot is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for the story you want to tell. Use plain language and avoid listing every job or award. Think about the roles he played that shaped his life and yours.
Life snapshot templates
- [Name] grew up in [place] and later moved to [city]. He loved [hobby], worked as [job], and spent his free time [habit].
- [Name] was a son, a brother, a friend, and the person who taught me that bad takeout can be fixed with good company.
Anecdotes that make people feel him
People remember stories more than statements. Anecdotes ground your speech. Keep them short, sensory, and with a clear payoff. A good story has a setup, an action, and a line that explains why it matters.
Examples of short anecdotes
- He had a habit of rescuing stray animals. One night he came home with a tiny soaked pup and announced we were officially a family of three. That is how love started living in our kitchen.
- On long road trips he would narrate traffic like a sports commentator. It made even bad commutes feel like an adventure.
- When he was nervous he tapped the rim of his coffee mug three times with his thumb. I learned to watch for it because it meant he needed a hug more than words.
Addressing complex relationships
Not every relationship is simple. If your partnership had hardness or contradictions you can still speak honestly with dignity. You do not need to air all grievances in public. Acknowledge complexity and focus on truth, gratitude, or small reconciliations.
Examples for complicated relationships
- Our relationship was not perfect. We argued and we patched things. In the end we found a comfortable honesty that felt like a fragile gift. I am thankful for that time together.
- He was stubborn and stubbornness sometimes wore thin. It also meant he never quit on the people he cared about. That stubbornness saved relationships more than it broke them.
- We had hard years and softer years. I choose to remember the softer ones because they taught me how to love someone who was also learning to love himself.
Using humor the right way
Humor can give people permission to breathe. Use small earned jokes that show who he was. Test them with a trusted friend to make sure they land. Avoid anything that could embarrass or single out someone in the room.
Safe humor examples
- He believed in five minute meals that took forty five minutes. The smoke alarm was his sous chef and we loved him anyway.
- He had a collection of ugly holiday sweaters and he wore each one like a trophy. If you saw him you knew it was officially festive season.
What to avoid in a eulogy
- Avoid turning the speech into private family therapy. Keep it public facing and compassionate.
- Avoid long lists of achievements with no stories to make them human.
- Avoid using the platform to blame or shame people who are present.
- Avoid clichés unless you immediately follow them with a specific example that proves the line true.
Full eulogy examples you can adapt
Below are complete examples you can personalize. Each follows the structure above. Replace bracketed content with your details.
Example 1: Tender partner, three to four minute version
Hello everyone. My name is Maya and I was Aaron s partner. Thank you for being here to remember him.
Aaron grew up near the coast and moved here ten years ago. He worked as a web designer and could make a messy spreadsheet look like a work of art. He loved late night drives, thrift store finds, and telling terrible puns that somehow became charming when he laughed afterwards.
One small story that captures him is from a random Tuesday. I had a bad day and came home in a sour mood. He had made a tiny fort out of blankets and put a mug of tea inside with a note that said you are my favorite person to be small with. We sat together in that blanket fort for twenty minutes and neither of us said anything big. That is how he loved me. He showed up in the small soft ways.
He taught me to slow down, to cook without a recipe sometimes, and to call our parents more often than we thought necessary. I will miss his low laugh and his habit of singing off key while he did the dishes. We will carry him in the tiny routines that suddenly mean the world. Thank you for holding him with me today.
Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes
Hi, my name is Jordan and I was Leo s girlfriend. Leo loved sneakers, bad reality TV, and making playlists for midnight drives. He loved loud laughter and small surprises. I am grateful for every song he shared and for the way he made ordinary nights feel like something. Thank you for being here and for loving him with us.
Example 3: Funny and light with sincere ending
Hello. I am Sam and I was Ben s partner. If you ever met Ben you know two things. He believed every plant could be saved and that he could fix any appliance with duct tape and extreme optimism. He lost more houseplants than he rescued and our toaster eventually accepted its fate. He made us laugh until we cried and then held us while we wiped our eyes. Today we laugh and we cry and we remember that he made life more joyful. Please share one silly Ben story after the service if you can. He would have loved that.
Example 4: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful
Hi. My name is Alex. My relationship with Mark had its tough seasons. We fought and we loved. He pushed me in ways that were sometimes painful and sometimes necessary. In the later months we rebuilt a gentler understanding. He taught me about accountability and about the messy work of change. I am grateful for our time together and for the lessons that will keep me kinder in the future.
Fill in the blank templates
Use these templates as starting points. Fill in the brackets and then edit to make them sound like you. Read out loud and remove anything that feels forced.
Template A: Classic short
My name is [Your Name]. I was [Boyfriend s Name] partner. [Boyfriend s Name] was born in [place or year]. He loved [one hobby], worked as [job], and was the person who always [small habit]. One memory that shows who he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting all of us.
Template B: For complicated relationships
I am [Your Name]. My relationship with [Name] was not simple. We had disagreements about [small example] and we had days that felt impossible. In recent [months years] we found moments of peace and clarity. If I could say one thing now it would be [short line you want to say]. I choose to remember the growth and the kindness he offered at the end.
Template C: Light and funny with sincerity
Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Name] was to know [quirky habit]. He also made sure we learned [useful practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. He made us laugh and he made us care about the little things. I will miss his jokes and his ridiculous sock collection. Thank you.
Practical tips for delivery
Speaking while grieving is hard. These tactics keep you steady and human.
- Print your speech Use large font and double spacing. Paper is easier to manage when emotions are raw.
- Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines per card reduce the chance of losing your place.
- Mark pauses Put a symbol where you want to breathe or where laughter may happen. Pauses give your voice time to settle.
- Practice out loud Read to a friend, a pet, or a mirror. Practicing helps your throat know what to expect.
- Bring tissues and water Keep a small pack of tissues and a bottle of water nearby to steady your voice.
- Arrange a backup If you think you might not finish, ask a trusted friend or family member to be ready to step in.
- Mic tips If there is a microphone hold it a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If no mic, project gently to the back row.
When you want to cry while reading
If tears come that is okay. Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. The audience will wait. If your voice cracks slow down and say fewer words more deliberately. Emotion can make the words feel deeper and more honest.
How to include readings, poems, or music
Short readings work best. If you include a poem choose a two to four line excerpt rather than reading long passages. Readings can be religious or secular. Confirm the officiant is comfortable with the piece and consider printing the text in the program so others can follow.
Music choices
- Pick songs that meant something to him or that match the tone of the event.
- If live music is not possible ask the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers.
- Keep musical interludes short and place them where they support the speech, for example after a story or before a closing line.
Logistics and who to tell
- Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
- Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you have to speak.
- Share a copy with the person running the order of service so they can keep the program on track.
After the eulogy
People may want a copy. Offer to email it to family and friends. Families sometimes include the eulogy in a printed program or a memory book. You can also record the audio and share it privately with people who were not able to attend. Ask permission before posting recordings online.
Checklist before you step up to speak
- Confirm your time limit with the officiant or family.
- Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
- Practice at least three times out loud.
- Mark emotional beats and pauses in your copy.
- Bring tissues and a bottle of water.
- Arrange a friend or family member who can finish a line if you need help.
Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
- Obituary A written announcement of a death that often lists service details and survivors.
- Order of service The planned sequence of the event including speakers and music.
- Officiant The person leading the ceremony. Could be clergy, a celebrant, or a designated friend.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering focused on memory sharing and photos instead of ritual.
- Virtual service A memorial held online so people can join remotely.
- Hospice Care that prioritizes comfort and quality of life at the end of life. Hospice can be delivered at home or in a facility.
Frequently asked questions
How do I start a eulogy if I am extremely nervous
Begin with your name and your relationship to him. A short opening like Hi I am [Your Name] and I was [His Name] partner gives context and provides a steady first breath. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will help anchor you when you begin.
What if I forget my place or cannot continue
Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you cannot continue have a designated friend or family member ready to step in. You can also keep one or two lines prepared for them to read so the tribute has a tidy close.
Can I include humor in a eulogy
Yes. Light earned humor is often welcome because it eases tension. Use jokes grounded in real memories. Avoid anything that could embarrass the deceased or upset people in the room. Follow a joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone.
Should I use religious language if the family is not religious
Only if it was meaningful to him or family members. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors his life and values. You can include a short poem or lyric instead of religious phrasing.
How long is a good eulogy for a boyfriend
Aim for three to seven minutes. Short tributes are often the most memorable and keep the service moving if multiple people plan to speak.
Is it okay to publish the eulogy online
Check with the family before posting. Some families want privacy. If sharing is approved include a note about how people can contribute memories privately or donate in his name if that is being organized.