How to Write a Eulogy for Your Biological Father - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your biological father can feel like holding all your feelings in one hand while trying to speak through the other. You want to honor him, be honest, and also not lose your place when the tears come. This guide gives you a simple structure, real examples you can adapt, and delivery tips that actually help. We explain the funeral terms you might see and give templates for different relationships and tones so you can start writing right away.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about their biological father at a funeral, memorial, graveside, or celebration of life. Maybe you were the obvious choice because you lived nearby. Maybe you are the child who can hold a room. Maybe your relationship with your father was complicated. All of that is okay. There are sample scripts here for quiet, funny, messy, and short needs.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech given at a funeral or memorial that honors the person who has died. It is personal and reflective. It is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice with basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service information. A eulogy is a story. It is allowed to be imperfect.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A written notice announcing a death and usually including service details and basic biographical facts.
• Order of service A printed program or plan listing the sequence of readings, music, and speakers at the event.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to help carry the casket. They are often close family or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memories rather than rituals.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for people nearing the end of life. Hospice care can happen at home or in a facility.
• Officiant The person leading the service. This could be a clergy member, a celebrant, or a friend asked to guide the event.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and focused is usually better. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is roughly four hundred to eight hundred spoken words. If you are nervous about crying, a compact heartfelt tribute can be more powerful than a long speech that loses focus.

Before you start writing

Take a breath. Then use this quick checklist to make the job manageable.

• Ask about time Confirm with the family or officiant how long you should speak and where you fit in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? Check with close family so the tone fits the person and the audience.
• Gather material Collect nicknames, signatures lines, quick stories, and favorite sayings. Ask siblings or close friends for one memory each.
• Pick three focus points Choose three memory types or traits you want people to leave remembering. Three is small enough to hold and gives the speech clear shape.
• Plan your opening and closing The opening gives context and steadies you. The closing offers a final image or request like a moment of silence or a short prayer.

Structure that works

A clear structure gives both you and the audience a path to follow. Use this simple shape.

• Opening Say who you are and your relationship to your father. Offer one sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of his life in practical strokes. Focus on roles like son, father, worker, neighbor, or hobbyist.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific and sensory.
• Traits and lessons Summarize the values he passed on or the things people will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short quote, or invite everyone to share a memory afterward.

How to write the opening

The opening is where you set the stage. Do not overcomplicate it. Start with your name and your relationship to your father. Then say one clear sentence about what today is for.

Opening examples

• Hello. My name is Daniel and I am Tom s son. Today we are here to remember the man who taught us how to fix a leaky sink and how to laugh when things broke.
• Hi everyone. I am Maya. Dad was Raj. He loved loud music and terrible puns, and he was always the first to show up when someone needed help.
• Good afternoon. I am Jonah, his daughter. My father had a way of making ordinary Sundays feel like small adventures. I want to share a few of those moments with you.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for the story you are telling. Use plain language and focus on the roles that defined him.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place] in [year]. He worked as a [job] and later as a [role]. He loved [hobby] and was the person we called when [habit].
• [Name] moved to [city] in his twenties and raised [number of children]. He served in [military or service] or worked at [company]. He made friends easily and kept them for life.

Anecdotes that work

People remember stories more than statements. Anecdotes ground your speech. Keep them short, sensory, and with a small payoff. A good story has a setup, an action, and a line that explains why it matters.

Examples of short anecdotes

• When I was eight, he built me a treehouse that leaned just slightly. He promised it was sturdy. It was not. He laughed, fixed it, and we called it the safety zone forever after.
• Dad had a ritual of making pancakes on Saturday mornings. He never followed a recipe. He called it freestyle cooking. The pancakes were lumpy and perfect. We learned that perfection was less important than time together.
• He would sing off key in the car and act like a superstar. Once a stranger rolled down their window and started singing along. My dad waved like they were old friends. He taught us to invite the world in.

Addressing complicated relationships with honesty and respect

Not every relationship with a father is simple. If your relationship was strained you can still speak honestly and with dignity. You do not need to air private grievances. Acknowledge the complexity and point to lessons or closure where you can.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My father and I did not always see eye to eye. We argued and we grew apart for a time. In recent years we found small ways to connect. I am grateful for those last conversations.
• He could be distant and difficult. He also taught me to keep my word and to try again when I failed. Those lessons were valuable even when they were hard to receive.
• Our relationship was messy like a house being renovated. We repaired what we could and learned to live with what we could not change. Today I remember the repairs and the effort.

Using humor correctly

Humor can give people permission to breathe. Use small, earned jokes not shock value. Test them on someone who will tell you honestly if the joke lands. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the audience.

Safe humor examples

• Dad had two modes, quiet and loudly passionate. If you asked him about his team he would explain like he invented the sport.
• He had a dubious talent for keeping gadgets alive with duct tape and a hopeful look. His toolbox was its own ecosystem and it smelled like eucalyptus and determination.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid using the stage to settle family disputes or to rehash private fights.
• Avoid gossip or secrets that could hurt people present.
• Avoid reading long lists of achievements without stories that make them human.
• Avoid clichés without concrete examples that show why they are true.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and edit to make it your own.

Example 1: Tender and practical, three to four minute version

Hello. My name is Ben and I am Dave s son. Thank you for being here with us.

Dad grew up in Dayton and moved to our town in his twenties. He worked as an electrician for most of his life and he loved foods that were spicy in a way that made us cry and laugh at the same time. He married my mother and together they raised three kids who learned how to tell a good joke and how to change a flat tire before they could legally drive.

One small thing that captures him is his insistence on fixing things. When the lawn mower sputtered he would wince like it had personally offended him and then take it apart on the driveway. He taught me how to hold a screwdriver steadily and how to be patient with machines and with people.

He taught us to show up, to work with our hands when problems were small, and to say sorry without drama. His generosity was practical. He helped neighbors shovel snow and showed up for the high school plays even when he did not understand the plot. We will miss his laugh at the dinner table and the way he made ordinary days feel cared for.

Thank you for the ways you have shown us support today. Please join me in a short moment of silence to remember him and then share a memory if you would like.

Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes

Hi everyone. I am Alex and I am Aaron s daughter. Dad loved coffee, late night sports, and telling the same story about a fishing trip until it had three endings. He taught me how to be stubborn about what matters and gentle about what does not. Thank you for being here and for holding his memory with us.

Example 3: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful

My name is Sam. My father, Mark, was complicated in ways I am still unpacking. We had fights and long silences. In recent years we began to talk more about small things like the weather and our favorite shows. Those small conversations mattered. If I could say one thing to him now it would be thank you for the parts of you that showed up when I needed them. I will carry those forward.

Example 4: Celebration of life tone with humor

Hi. I am Nora, his eldest. If you ever met my father you know he had two obsessions, chess and chili. He believed that every problem could be solved with a good plan and slightly more cumin. He made us laugh and he made sure our socks matched. Today we celebrate the mess and the care he left behind. Eat another bowl of his chili and tell the story about the trophy he never actually won. Laugh with us today.

Fill in the blank templates

Fill in the blanks and then read out loud. Edit anything that sounds forced. Keep it short enough to deliver without losing your place.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Father s Name] [son daughter child]. [Father s Name] was born in [place or year]. He loved [one hobby], he worked as [job], and he was the one we called when [small habit]. One memory that shows the kind of person he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.

Template B: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Father s Name] was complicated. We did not always agree and sometimes we grew apart. Over time we found small ways to connect. One small memory I keep is [short story]. If I could say one thing to him now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C: Light and funny with sincerity

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Father s Name] was to know that [quirky habit]. He also made sure we learned [life practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. He made us laugh and he made us better at [domestic skill]. I will miss his jokes and his exact way of folding a towel. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These small tactics keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to handle than a phone for many people.
• Use cue cards Index cards with one or two lines each reduce the chance of losing your place and make it easier to pause.
• Mark pauses Put a note where you want to breathe or where the audience might laugh. Pauses buy you time.
• Practice out loud Say it to a friend, to your dog, or to the mirror. Practice helps your throat and emotions know the shape of the speech.
• Bring tissues and water Have them within reach. Swallowing and sipping can calm your voice.
• Have a backup If you think you may not finish arrange for a family member or friend to be ready to step in and finish a line if you need it.
• Mic technique If there is a microphone keep it a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal volume. If no mic project slowly and clearly to the back row.

When you want to cry while reading

Tears are normal. If you need to pause breathe and look down at your notes. Take a sip of water if that helps. If you cannot continue ask your backup person to take over. The audience will wait and will support you.

How to include readings, poems, or music

Short readings work best. If you want to include a poem pick a two to four line excerpt instead of a long poem. Music choices should match the tone and be short enough to support rather than distract. Confirm with the officiant about timing and whether recorded music can be played.

• Pick songs your father loved or songs that reflect the mood of the event.
• If live music is not possible ask the venue about playing a recorded track.
• Place music where it supports the speech for example after a powerful line or to start the service.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or printed copies to hand out.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they want to include it in the program.

Recording and sharing the eulogy

Ask the family before posting a recording online. Some families prefer privacy. If you share a recording add a short note about where donations can go if funds are being collected or include instructions for how people can share memories privately.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and often includes service details and basic biography.
• Order of service The plan for the event listing the sequence of readings, music, and speakers.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket, usually a close relative or friend.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering focused on stories and photos instead of ritual.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing end of life. It can happen at home or in a facility.
• RSVP An abbreviation from the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.
• Officiant The person leading the service. Could be clergy, celebrant, or a trusted friend.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and relationship to your father. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Father s Name] child gives listeners context and buys you a moment to breathe. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause breathe and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to step in and finish a thought. Having a short note that someone else can pick up from helps in this scenario.

Should I include religious language if the family is not religious

Only if it was meaningful to your father or to the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors his values and memories instead. You can include a brief poem or reading that matches the family s beliefs instead of prayer language.

How do I balance humor and respect

Use humor grounded in real stories that show character. Avoid jokes that might embarrass or exclude listeners. Follow up a joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone. Humor can open hearts but should not deflect from grief.

Can I read the eulogy from my phone

Yes you can but make sure the screen is bright enough and that the device will not ring. Many people prefer paper or printed cue cards because they are easier to handle when emotions run high.

How long should a eulogy be

Aim for three to seven minutes. That is a good balance of honesty and brevity. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times so the service stays within the planned schedule.

What do I do if my relationship with my father was complicated

Be honest without being hurtful. Acknowledge complexity and share any small reconciliations or lessons you learned. You can keep the tribute short and focus on one or two true things you appreciated or learned.

Should I give a copy of the eulogy to the funeral home or officiant

Yes. Providing a copy helps the officiant and the person running the service stay on schedule and makes it easy to include the text in a program or memory book.

Can I include music or a poem

Yes. Choose short excerpts rather than long pieces. Confirm with the officiant and provide printed text in the program when possible. Place music where it supports the speech such as before or after a speaker.