Why Did Hazel Not Do The Eulogy That She Had Previously Shared With Gus?

Grieving the loss of a loved one can be a complicated and emotional process, especially when you are tasked with planning and delivering a eulogy. In John Green's novel, The Fault in Our Stars, Hazel and Gus share a profound love story, which includes a unique eulogy situation. But what caused Hazel to not deliver the eulogy she had initially shared with Gus? In this article, we explore the reasons behind this decision and how it can serve as a powerful lesson for crafting your own meaningful and heartfelt eulogies.

Understanding Hazel and Gus's Relationship

The Fault in Our Stars: A Brief Synopsis

The Fault in Our Stars tells the story of Hazel Grace Lancaster, a sixteen-year-old girl living with terminal cancer, and Augustus "Gus" Waters, a seventeen-year-old cancer survivor. The two meet in a cancer support group and form a deep, romantic connection.

Within their relationship, they shared profound, honest conversations about life, death, and the challenges of living with serious illness. One of these conversations includes an intentional sharing of eulogies they had written for each other, making promises that they would deliver these messages at their respective funerals.

However, when it came time for Hazel to deliver the eulogy she had crafted for Gus, she opted not to do so. What changed? And what can we learn from her decision?

Hazel's Change of Heart: Why She Didn't Share Her Eulogy

Hazel's Desire to Protect Gus's Family and Friends

Hazel's eulogy for Gus was incredibly personal; filled with intimate details of their lives, adventures, and conversations. By the time of his funeral, Gus's family and friends had already been through a significant amount of emotional turmoil, and Hazel wanted to avoid causing additional pain or discomfort.

She believed that sharing the deeply personal eulogy would serve as an unwelcomed reminder of his illness, forcing everyone to confront the reality of his death. With this in mind, Hazel decided that their private moments were too precious to share in that public setting.

The Importance of Context in Delivering Eulogies

One key lesson to take away from Hazel's choice is the importance of considering the context in which a eulogy will be delivered. A eulogy should be a carefully curated reflection of someone's life, taking into account the audience and the setting of the funeral service.

Balancing the desire to honour your loved one with the need to respect the boundaries of those who mourn with you can be a delicate task. In Hazel's case, she felt that keeping her eulogy private was the most respectful choice for Gus's family and friends.

Recognizing the Fluidity and Evolution of Grief

Another lesson from Hazel's decision is the understanding that grief is a fluid, evolving process. The eulogy she initially created no longer served its purpose in the way she had intended. It's perfectly normal for our emotions, thoughts, and perspectives to change over time, and it's important that a eulogy represents the current state of our mourning and healing.

Why Did Hazel Not Do The Eulogy That She Had Previously Shared With Gus? Example:

Within Hazel's original eulogy, she painted a vivid picture of the deep bond between her and Gus, recounting their trips to Amsterdam, their witty back-and-forths, and their shared struggle with illness.

Instead, during the funeral service, Hazel chose to share a brief, heartfelt message of gratitude for the time she and Gus had spent together, and for the joy and love he had brought into her life.

Writing a eulogy is never an easy task, and Hazel's experience with Gus teaches us valuable lessons about the importance of context, respecting the grieving process, and understanding that our emotions can evolve throughout our journey of loss. By taking these factors into account, we can ensure that we create a heartfelt, meaningful eulogy that honours our loved ones and offers comfort to those left behind.

Frequently Asked Questions

Who are Hazel and Gus?

Hazel Grace Lancaster and Augustus "Gus" Waters are the main characters from the novel "The Fault in Our Stars" by John Green. Hazel is a sixteen-year-old thyroid cancer patient and Gus is a former basketball player and amputee who is also a cancer survivor. Their deep and complex relationship is at the heart of the novel’s narrative.

What is the significance of a eulogy in the context of the story?

In "The Fault in Our Stars," eulogies symbolize the characters' desires to be remembered and to leave a lasting impact. As Hazel and Gus confront their mortality, they grapple with the idea of legacy and the meaning of their lives, using eulogies as a way to express their feelings and memories about one another.

Why did Hazel choose not to deliver the eulogy she shared with Gus?

Hazel opts not to deliver the eulogy she wrote for Gus during his pre-funeral gathering because she decides it is too personal and intimate. She felt it was a special bond between her and Gus that she preferred to keep private, rather than sharing it with all the funeral attendees.

What is a "pre-funeral" gathering?

A "pre-funeral" is an informal event mentioned in Green’s novel where a terminally ill patient has the chance to hear their eulogies from loved ones before they pass away. This fictional concept was employed by the characters to celebrate the life of Augustus Waters within the story, representing a departure from traditional funereal practices.

Did Hazel’s decision have implications for her relationship with Gus's parents?

While the book doesn’t explicitly detail the reaction of Gus's parents to Hazel’s choice, we can infer that Hazel’s decision to keep the eulogy private may have been respected by them, given the deep understanding they all shared about the personal nature of grief and remembrance.

How does Hazel's decision affect her grieving process?

Hazel's choice to keep her eulogy for Gus private becomes a deeply personal element of her grieving process. By holding onto the words she had written specifically for Gus, Hazel has a unique emotional connection with him that remains intimate and unshared, potentially influencing her path to healing.

What does Hazel's action tell us about her character?

Hazel's decision reflects her introspective and thoughtful nature. It also highlights her desire to preserve the authenticity of her relationship with Gus, showing a preference for sincerity over public expression, in line with her character throughout the novel.

How does the eulogy that Hazel wrote represent her relationship with Gus?

The content of Hazel's eulogy is a profound encapsulation of her relationship with Gus, filled with personal anecdotes and genuine emotions. It represents the depth of their bond, the impact they had on each other’s lives, and Hazel’s understanding of Gus beyond his illness.

Was there an alternative way for Hazel to honor Gus's memory?

Aside from delivering her prepared eulogy, Hazel honors Gus's memory in several personal ways throughout the narrative, such as cherishing their shared experiences and continuing to live by the values they both held dear. This internal homage reflects a more personal recognition of Gus's influence on her life.

What was the significance of Hazel's eulogy for Gus himself?

Gus's wish to be remembered and to leave a legacy is palpably addressed in Hazel's eulogy. Hearing her words affirmed his existence and significance in the world, especially important to him given his existential concerns and desire to leave a meaningful mark.

How does Hazel eventually find closure after Gus's death?

Closure for Hazel is a process. She finds solace in honoring the memory of Gus, reflecting on their shared moments, and continuing to engage with life in the face of loss. She also finds comfort in the support of her friends, family, and through the continuation of her own story.

What role do eulogies play in the grieving process for those left behind?

Eulogies serve as a means for survivors to express their love, respect, and memories of the deceased. They help in vocalizing grief and can provide comfort to those mourning by encapsulating and commemorating the life of the loved one who has passed away.

Do Hazel's actions align with the book's themes of love and loss?

Yes, Hazel's actions deeply reflect the novel's themes of love and loss. By choosing not to share the eulogy, she privately treasures her love for Gus, emphasizing a personal journey through loss that respects their shared experiences and her individual process of mourning.

How does Hazel's chosen privacy relate to the book's exploration of personal vs. shared experiences?

Privacy plays a critical role in "The Fault in Our Stars," especially regarding personal pain and shared experiences. Hazel's decision to keep the eulogy private underscores the tension between what is meant to be shared and what is kept personal, emphasizing the boundaries of sharing in the face of pain and death within the novel.

Are there moments in the book where Hazel shares her feelings about Gus's death with others?

Yes, throughout the book, Hazel openly shares her feelings of sadness, love, fear, and loss with both Gus and those around her in different capacities. However, she selectively chooses how and when to share the most intimate parts of her grief.

In what way does the novel portray coping with terminal illness?

"The Fault in Our Stars" candidly portrays the realities of living with terminal illness, depicting its characters experiencing moments of fear, anger, sadness, joy, and love. The novel addresses the spectrum of coping mechanisms, from humor and philosophy to denial and acceptance.

Can the act of writing a eulogy be therapeutic?

Writing a eulogy can indeed be therapeutic as it allows for reflection and expression of deep emotions, helping the writer process their grief and articulate the significance of the relationship with the person they have lost.

Is the relationship between Hazel and Gus typical of teenage romance?

While Hazel and Gus experience many elements common to teenage romance, such as discovery and emotional intensity, their relationship is also marked by the unique pressures and depth of understanding that come with confronting mortality at a young age, making their connection atypical in several ways.

What is the message behind Hazel not delivering the eulogy?

The message behind Hazel's choice to not deliver the eulogy is multilayered. It could be interpreted as a statement on the private nature of true intimacy and love, on the individual’s right to choose how they express their grief, and on the personal ways in which we carry memories of those we've lost.

Does Hazel share any other written work in the story?

In the novel, Hazel is a considerate reader and thinker, often sharing her thoughts verbally, but it is primarily her eulogy for Gus which highlights her written expressiveness. Most of Hazel's poignant reflections and communications are conveyed through her narrative and dialogue.

What can readers take away from Hazel’s experiences and choices?

Readers can take away the importance of authentic living and loving, even in the face of impending loss. Hazel’s choices remind us that personal memories and experiences can remain private and still honor a loved one, and that strength can be found in vulnerability and in the continuation of one’s own life narrative.

If you are struggling to find the words to convey your thoughts and emotions, consider using Eulogy Assistant to help you in crafting a eulogy that is both respectful and personal. Explore our other guides for valuable insights and ideas, and share this article with others who may benefit from this powerful lesson of love and loss.