Who Should Write A Eulogy

Writing a eulogy is a task that comes with great responsibility and emotion. It is a chance to honour the life of a loved one and provide solace and closure to friends and family. But who should take on this significant task? In this article, we will discuss the different roles people can play in writing and delivering the eulogy and provide guidance to help you make the right decision.

Factors to Consider When Choosing a Eulogy Writer

Relationship with the Deceased

The person writing the eulogy should have a close and meaningful relationship with the deceased. This can be a family member, a close friend, or even a colleague, as long as they are able to capture the essence, personality, and spirit of the individual being remembered.

Public Speaking Skills

Delivering a eulogy is an emotional and nerve-wracking experience. The person chosen to speak should be comfortable with public speaking and confident enough to share personal stories despite the emotions they may be feeling.

Emotional Stability

Although grief is expected during a funeral, it is important that the person delivering the eulogy can maintain a level of composure to deliver the speech coherently. They need to be able to find a balance between expressing their emotions and providing comfort and support to the audience.

Availability and Willingness

Lastly, it's crucial that the chosen individual is available and willing to take on the responsibility of writing and delivering the eulogy.

Common Choices for Eulogy Writers

Family Members

• Spouse or Partner: The person closest to the deceased may be the most suitable choice, as they are likely to have the most intimate understanding of their loved one's life.
• Children and Siblings: These family members may have grown up with the deceased and can provide a unique perspective on their life and personality.
• Parents: Parents can share heartfelt stories about their child's life, achievements, and experiences, providing a powerful and emotional tribute.
• Extended Family: Cousins, aunts, uncles, and other relatives may have shared close bonds with the person who has passed away, and can provide insights into their character and values.

Friends and Colleagues

Close friends and work colleagues may have spent considerable time with the deceased, sharing experiences, memories, and milestones. They can offer a different perspective on the person's life, highlighting unique stories and personal anecdotes.

Religious or Spiritual Leaders

If the deceased was a member of a religious or spiritual community, a leader from that community can help to deliver the eulogy. They can bring comfort to the family by highlighting the deceased's spiritual beliefs and the community's support.

Professional Eulogy Writers

In cases where finding the right person to deliver the eulogy is challenging, some may choose to seek the help of a professional eulogy writer. These professionals are skilled in crafting a personalised and heartfelt tribute, ensuring that the eulogy captures the essence of the deceased.

Who Should Write A Eulogy Example:

An Example of Choosing a Eulogy Writer

Let's consider a scenario where a beloved mother, Jane, has passed away. Jane's husband, Tom, is too emotionally overwhelmed to write and deliver the eulogy. Their three adult children also feel that they would be unable to maintain their composure during the speech. The family comes together and decides that Jane's sister, Susan, would be the best person to take on this role. Susan had a close relationship with Jane, is confident in public speaking, and has a strong emotional support network to help her through the process.

Susan may choose to speak with the family, asking for their input and gathering stories and memories to help her craft a well-rounded eulogy. This will ensure that Jane's life is honoured in a way that reflects her true spirit, shows the love of her family, and provides comfort to everyone attending the funeral.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a eulogy?

A eulogy is a speech or piece of writing that praises and honors someone who has recently passed away. It is typically delivered during a funeral or memorial service to acknowledge the deceased's life, share memories, and comfort the bereaved.

Who is usually chosen to write a eulogy?

Typically, a close family member or friend is chosen to write a eulogy. It is a personal decision and often falls on someone who shared a significant bond with the deceased and can speak earnestly about their life and impact.

Can multiple people write a eulogy together?

Yes, collaboration on a eulogy can be a beautiful way to incorporate different perspectives and memories. However, coordination is critical to ensure a cohesive and concise speech.

What if no one feels comfortable writing a eulogy?

If no one feels comfortable or able to write a eulogy, families may opt to have a clergy member, celebrant, or even a professional eulogist speak. Alternatively, someone may choose to read a poem, literary passage, or a collection of quotes that were meaningful to the deceased.

Is it appropriate for a colleague to write a eulogy?

Yes, if the deceased held close relationships with colleagues or had a significant career, a coworker could write and deliver a meaningful eulogy.

How long should a eulogy be?

A eulogy generally lasts between 5 to 10 minutes, which is usually sufficient to convey meaningful stories and reflections without being too lengthy for the attendees.

What are the main elements to include in a eulogy?

A eulogy often includes an introduction, a brief biography of the deceased, personal stories, reflections on their character and impact, and a conclusion with a final farewell.

How personal should a eulogy be?

A eulogy should be personal enough to reflect the unique relationship between the speaker and the deceased, yet general enough to resonate with other mourners and honor the life lived.

Is it okay to add humor to a eulogy?

If it is in keeping with the spirit of the deceased and the tone of the service, adding humor can be a beautiful way to celebrate their life and share fond memories.

Can a child write and deliver a eulogy?

Yes, if a child wishes to write a eulogy and is able, they should be encouraged to do so. Assistance from an adult can help them prepare a speech that feels appropriate and comforting to them and the audience.

What can I do if I'm struggling to write a eulogy?

If you're having difficulty, consider reaching out for help. Speak with other friends or family members for inspiration, or consult resources such as books or online guides on writing eulogies.

Should I practice the eulogy before the service?

Yes, practicing the eulogy helps with memorization, timing, and managing emotions. Consider rehearsing in front of a friend or family member for feedback.

What if I become too emotional while delivering the eulogy?

It's natural to become emotional during such a heartfelt moment. If you do, take a moment to compose yourself—it's okay. The audience will understand and sympathize with your emotions.

Can I use a eulogy written by someone else?

If you find a pre-written eulogy that captures your sentiments, you can use it as a template or guide. However, adding personal touches and stories will make it more heartfelt and unique to the deceased.

Is it necessary to talk about the cause of death in a eulogy?

No, it's not necessary, and often not recommended, to dwell on the cause of death in a eulogy. The focus should be on celebrating the life lived and the positive impact the person had on others.

Are there cultural or religious considerations to take into account when writing a eulogy?

Yes, cultural and religious traditions can significantly influence the tone and content of a eulogy. It is essential to understand and respect these practices when composing and delivering a eulogy.

What makes a eulogy memorable?

A memorable eulogy typically includes personal anecdotes, heartfelt sentiment, a touch of humor, and a clear expression of the deceased's life philosophy and the legacy they leave behind.

How can I make sure my eulogy resonates with all attendees?

To resonate with everyone, aim for universal themes of love, friendship, and shared experiences. Be inclusive in the language you use and considerate of the varied relationships others had with the deceased.

Can I end a eulogy with a quote or poem?

Concluding a eulogy with a meaningful quote or poem can be a poignant way to encapsulate your sentiments and offer comfort to the bereaved.

How can I ensure my eulogy is well-received?

Speak from the heart, be respectful, and take the time to craft a speech that aligns with the values and memories of the deceased. Practice and delivery are also important to ensure your message is clear and impactful.

Is it alright to seek professional help when writing a eulogy?

Absolutely. Professional writers or funeral service providers often offer eulogy writing assistance. Seeking help can ensure the final tribute is polished and does justice to the departed's memory.

Choosing the right person to write and deliver a eulogy is a crucial part of honouring your loved one's memory. Remember that there is no single answer to who should write a eulogy, but with careful consideration and support from those closest to the deceased, you can find the ideal eulogy writer to help celebrate their life. For more guidance on crafting the perfect eulogy, explore other guides on Eulogy Assistant, and feel free to share this article with others who may be facing similar decisions during a difficult time.