Preparing to say goodbye to a loved one is never an easy task, and when planning a funeral, deciding who should deliver the eulogy can be a challenging and emotional decision. In this article, we will explore different options and guidelines for choosing the best person to honour your loved one in this heartfelt part of the funeral service.
Are you struggling to write a meaningful eulogy during this difficult time? Our professional eulogy writing service can help you honour your loved one in less than 48 hours, with no additional stress. We help you preserve the legacy of a cherished life, in your time of grief. Find out more →
Table of Contents
Relationship Matters
The eulogy is a tribute to the deceased, reflecting their unique traits, experiences, and relationships. Ideally, the person chosen to deliver the eulogy should have had a close relationship with the deceased. Some options to consider include:
- Family members: spouses, children, siblings, or parents are often chosen to give the eulogy because of their intimate connection to the deceased.
- Friends: close friends who have known the deceased for many years can provide unique insight into the impact of their life and create a personal, heartfelt tribute.
- Colleagues: co-workers or bosses may give a eulogy that focuses on the deceased’s professional accomplishments and contributions to their field.
- Community or religious leaders: a community figure or spiritual guide may offer a eulogy centred around the deceased’s involvement in their neighbourhood or faith community.
Public Speaking Comfort and Abilities
Delivering a eulogy is a significant responsibility and can be emotionally challenging. It is essential to choose someone who is comfortable speaking in public and can confidently articulate their emotions and thoughts. Consider the following:
- Experienced speakers: If someone close to the deceased has a background in public speaking, they may be an excellent choice to deliver the eulogy.
- Emotional stability: although eulogies are emotional by nature, it's important to select someone who can manage their emotions to effectively convey their message.
- Effective communicators: the person you choose should be able to engage and connect with the audience while delivering a meaningful tribute.
Multiple Speakers
There is no rule that says the eulogy has to be delivered by one person. Sometimes, it can be more impactful to have multiple speakers who each bring a unique perspective on the deceased’s life. This can help paint a fuller picture of your loved one and celebrate their impact on various people in their life.
Creating a Balanced Eulogy
Need a Eulogy?
Get a Personalized Professional Eulogy Written For Your Loved One
If multiple speakers are chosen, ensure that each person brings a different perspective to the eulogy. For example, one family member might speak about the deceased's family life, while a co-worker would discuss their professional life.
Who Delivers The Eulogy Example:
A Memorial Service Eulogy Example
At the memorial service for Jane Doe, her eldest daughter, Sarah, was chosen to deliver the eulogy. Jane had been a pillar of her community for over forty years, so Sarah wanted to make sure that her mother’s impact on the neighbourhood was honoured. To achieve this, she invited Jane’s close friend Susan and a local community leader named Michael to also speak and share their perspective on Jane’s life.
Sarah began the eulogy by sharing her personal experiences and anecdotes about her mother’s love, compassion, and values. She then introduced Susan, who spoke about their decades-long friendship and the fun adventures they shared. Finally, Michael honoured Jane’s unending devotion to the community and her lasting impact on the lives of so many people.
The combination of these three perspectives provided a deeply moving and comprehensive tribute to Jane’s life and legacy.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a eulogy?
A eulogy is a speech given at a memorial service in tribute to the deceased. It typically reflects on their life, character, and the impact they had on their family, friends, and community.
Who is traditionally responsible for delivering a eulogy?
Traditionally, a family member or close friend of the deceased is chosen to deliver the eulogy. It can be the spouse, a sibling, an adult child, a best friend, or a parent.
Can multiple people deliver a eulogy at the same service?
Yes, it is not uncommon for multiple people to deliver their own eulogies during a service, sharing different perspectives on the life of the deceased.
Is it appropriate for a coworker to deliver a eulogy?
Yes, if the deceased had close relationships with coworkers or was known for their professional life, a coworker may deliver a eulogy to highlight this aspect of their life.
How long should a eulogy be?
Generally, a eulogy should last between 3 to 5 minutes, but the length can be adjusted based on the circumstances and the number of speakers.
What should be included in a eulogy?
A eulogy often includes an introduction about the relationship with the deceased, personal memories, stories, the deceased's attributes and accomplishments, and the impact they made on others.
Can a eulogy be humorous?
Yes, if it reflects the personality of the deceased and is appropriate to the setting. Humour can be a way to celebrate the deceased's life and bring some comfort to the mourners.
What if I am too emotional to deliver a eulogy?
If you are too emotional, you can have someone else read the eulogy on your behalf, or you can write a letter to be read aloud. It’s also okay to show emotion while delivering a eulogy.
Are there any topics that should be avoided in a eulogy?
It is generally wise to avoid controversial topics, sensitive family issues, and anything that might speak poorly of the deceased or cause discomfort to the audience.
How do I start writing a eulogy?
Begin by gathering your thoughts and memories about the deceased. Think about what kind of message you want to deliver and how you want to celebrate their life. Make an outline to structure your speech.
Is it okay to read a eulogy from a paper?
Yes, it is perfectly acceptable to read a eulogy from a paper, especially since it can be an emotional moment and you might want to ensure you don't leave out anything important.
Can children deliver eulogies?
Children can deliver eulogies if they feel comfortable doing so and if the content is appropriate for their age. They often provide a unique and heartfelt perspective.
Should a eulogy be religious or secular?
This depends on the deceased's beliefs and preferences, as well as the audience attending the service. It's important to honor the faith or secular views of the departed when delivering a eulogy.
How do I practice delivering a eulogy?
Practice reading the eulogy aloud multiple times, ideally in front of a friend or family member for feedback. Focus on your pace, breathing, and emotional composure.
Can I use quotes or poetry in a eulogy?
Incorporating quotes or poetry that were meaningful to the deceased or speak to their life and legacy can add depth and eloquence to a eulogy.
How do I handle my nerves when delivering a eulogy?
Prepare thoroughly, take deep breaths before you begin, focus on the importance of honoring the deceased, and remember that it's okay to show emotion and take pauses if needed.
Is it necessary to memorize the eulogy?
While not necessary, memorizing parts of the eulogy can allow you to maintain more eye contact with the audience, but always have a printed copy as backup.
What is the best way to conclude a eulogy?
Conclude the eulogy with a final tribute to the deceased, such as a heartfelt farewell, a moment of reflection, or an expression of hope and comfort to the bereaved.
Should I rehearse the eulogy with someone else?
Rehearsing with someone else can give you valuable feedback on your delivery and help you manage your emotional response to giving the eulogy.
Is it appropriate to invite others to speak during a eulogy?
If it feels right and you have the family’s approval, you can invite others to share a brief anecdote or memory during your eulogy.
Can I deliver a eulogy if I wasn't particularly close to the deceased?
Yes, if you have been asked to deliver a eulogy, it's because others believe you can meaningfully represent some aspect of the deceased's life. Focus on the positive impact they had and the memories shared by those who were close to them.
Choosing the right person or people to deliver the eulogy is an important decision that requires thought and consideration. It's essential to select someone who knew the deceased well and can provide a warm, heartfelt tribute that honours their life. By considering factors such as relationship to the deceased, public speaking abilities, and emotional stability, you can make the best choice and ensure that your loved one is remembered fondly. If this article was helpful, please feel free to share it with others who may be navigating the same challenging decision and explore other Eulogy Assistant guides for more valuable information.