Losing a loved one is undoubtedly one of the most challenging experiences in life. Among many responsibilities, preparing a eulogy to honour their life is an important aspect of the funeral process. With so many heartfelt memories, noteworthy accomplishments, and unique qualities to touch upon, how do you decide what to talk about in a eulogy? In this guide, we will provide helpful guidance on choosing the most meaningful topics and presenting them in an engaging way.
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Table of Contents
- Step 1: Reflect on their life and accomplishments
- Finding inspiration for anecdotes and stories:
- Step 2: Personal anecdotes and stories
- Step 3: Ensure a balanced eulogy
- Step 4: Speak from the heart
- Emily's Passion for Adventure
- An Incredible Achiever
- The Struggles and the Strengths
- Frequently Asked Questions
Step 1: Reflect on their life and accomplishments
Though eulogies vary in length, it is crucial to focus on the most meaningful aspects of your loved one's life. Spend some time reflecting on their life and consider the following points:
- Major milestones (e.g. achievements, graduations, career, etc.)
- Important relationships (e.g. partner, children, friends, co-workers, etc.)
- Personality traits and characteristics they will be remembered for
- Cherished memories and experiences you shared with them
- Values and beliefs they held dear
Step 2: Personal anecdotes and stories
Sharing personal stories and anecdotes not only adds depth to the eulogy but also helps personalise the tribute, making it more relatable and engaging for the audience. Consider recounting significant memories or amusing stories that showcase your loved one's personality, and their impact on others.
Finding inspiration for anecdotes and stories:
- Think back to any unique, humorous or heartfelt moments you shared with your loved one.
- Speak to other family members and friends who might have fond memories and stories to share.
- Scan through photo albums and social media posts for memorable occurrences and experiences.
- Read their letters/emails/text messages to remember conversations or events that have occurred.
Step 3: Ensure a balanced eulogy
While it may be tempting to focus on the positive aspects of your loved one's life, an authentic eulogy acknowledges not just their achievements and strengths but also any struggles they faced and how they navigated these challenges. By doing so, you paint a more realistic picture of their life, making the eulogy more meaningful and relatable.
Step 4: Speak from the heart
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At its core, a eulogy is a tribute to your loved one's life. The most important element when preparing your speech is to speak from the heart. Share your emotions and the impact they had on you and others. Talk about how much they will be missed and the legacy they leave behind. Ultimately, let your love for the person guide you in crafting a eulogy that honours their memory.
What To Talk About In An Eulogy Example:
Emily's Passion for Adventure
Emily always had a thirst for adventure. When she went on a spontaneous road trip across the country with her loyal dog, Max, we all thought she was crazy. But that was Emily, always embracing the unknown, seeking new experiences and making the most out of life. To this day, her tales of that journey never fail to make us laugh.
An Incredible Achiever
Emily was never one to shy away from a challenge, and her list of accomplishments speaks volumes. Graduating with honours from university, securing a dream job, and starting her own company are just a few examples of her incredible determination and ambition. Despite her busy schedule, she always found time to support her friends and family through thick and thin.
The Struggles and the Strengths
Throughout her life, Emily struggled with anxiety. Yet it was her resilience and courage that shone through, as she found ways to cope and live life to the fullest. Her experiences with anxiety led her to become an advocate for mental health, where she made a significant impact in the lives of countless people.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a eulogy?
A eulogy is a speech given during a funeral or memorial service to honor and remember the deceased. It often includes personal stories, reflections on their life, and the impact they had on those they knew.
Who can deliver a eulogy?
Anyone close to the deceased can deliver a eulogy. This might be a family member, a close friend, a colleague, or anyone who feels inclined to share memories of the deceased.
How long should a eulogy be?
Typically, a eulogy should be between 5-10 minutes long. It should be concise enough to maintain the attention of those attending while giving ample time to speak to the life and memory of the deceased.
What should I include in a eulogy?
A eulogy should include personal anecdotes, the deceased's values, accomplishments, and the legacies they leave behind. You can also include readings or quotes that were important to them, or that reflect their life philosophy.
Is it appropriate to include humor in a eulogy?
Yes, if it was characteristic of the deceased and if it is done tastefully. Sharing humorous moments or light-hearted stories can offer a sense of comfort and familiarity during the service.
How do I start writing a eulogy?
Begin by collecting thoughts, memories, and stories about the deceased. Speak to friends and family to gather different perspectives. Then, organize these memories thematically or chronologically to form the structure of your eulogy.
Can I use quotes in a eulogy?
Yes, quotes can be a meaningful addition to a eulogy, especially if they were significant to the deceased or if they eloquently convey a feeling or message you wish to express.
How can I balance personal stories with the deceased's accomplishments?
Focus on the stories that highlight the qualities linked to their accomplishments, offering a personal glimpse into their character while acknowledging their achievements.
Should I practice the eulogy before the service?
Absolutely. Practicing your eulogy can help you manage your emotions and ensure a smoother delivery when speaking publicly.
What if I get too emotional while delivering the eulogy?
It's natural to become emotional. Pause, take a deep breath, or have a glass of water nearby. Remember that those in attendance will understand and empathize with your emotions.
Is it alright to share a poem or a passage in the eulogy?
Yes, sharing a poem, passage, or a prayer that was meaningful to the deceased or to the family can be a beautiful tribute during a eulogy.
How do I conclude a eulogy?
Conclude with a heartfelt goodbye, a reflective thought, or a call to continue the deceased's legacy. It can be a direct farewell or an inspirational closing that honors their life.
What tone should a eulogy have?
The tone of a eulogy should be respectful and reflective, yet it can also be celebratory of the deceased's life, depending on their personality and the wishes of the family.
Can I involve the attendees in the eulogy?
Yes, creating an interactive element, such as a moment of silence to reflect on a shared memory or a prompt for attendees to contribute a memory after the service, can be powerful.
Are there any topics I should avoid in a eulogy?
Generally, it's best to avoid controversial subjects, personal grievances, or anything that might upset the family and friends of the deceased.
How can I personalize a eulogy for someone with a public persona?
Highlight aspects of their personal life that may not have been widely known, such as their role in the family, their hobbies, or acts of kindness they performed.
What if I didn't know the deceased very well?
If you are asked to give a eulogy but did not know the individual well, it's appropriate to conduct research by talking to those who did, and to focus on the ways they touched the lives of others.
How can I handle my nerves about speaking in public?
Prepare thoroughly, practice your speech, and remember that the focus is on honoring the deceased, which is a noble and cherished responsibility. People are not expecting perfection, but sincerity.
What if the deceased was a difficult person?
Everyone has different facets to their personality. Focus on the positive aspects and the good moments, acknowledging that while no one is perfect, every life has its worth and moments of joy.
How formal or informal should a eulogy be?
This depends heavily on the deceased's personality, the family's wishes, and the context of the funeral or memorial service. Align the formality with the expected tone of the event.
Can I share anecdotes that involve others at the service?
Yes, as long as the stories are shared with respect and discretion, and ideally with the prior consent of those involved, especially if the stories are personal in nature.
What are some common mistakes to avoid in a eulogy?
Common mistakes include speaking too long, being overly somber or excessively light-hearted, failing to prepare, not considering the feelings of all attendees, and not keeping the remarks focused on the deceased.
Now that you have some guidance on what to talk about in a eulogy, the task may seem more manageable. Remember that the purpose of a eulogy is to celebrate your loved one's life, acknowledge their struggles, and share the impact they had on others. Speak from the heart, and you will create a tribute that truly honours their memory. If you need more assistance, Eulogy Assistant is here to help guide you through the writing process. Don't forget to share this article with others who may be struggling with preparing a eulogy, and explore our other resources on eulogy writing, funeral planning, and more.