What To Say In Eulogy

Losing a loved one is never easy. Amidst the sadness and grief, it's normal to feel a profound sense of responsibility when tasked with delivering a eulogy for that special person. Sometimes, it's hard to find the words to express the impact they had on your life, making it challenging to know exactly what to say in a eulogy. This guide will provide you with the necessary steps and elements to craft a touching and meaningful tribute to your loved one, honouring their life in a way they truly deserve.

1. Start with a strong opening

Share a quote or anecdote

Beginning with a meaningful quote or a short anecdote about the deceased creates an instant connection to your audience and sets the tone for your eulogy. It can be a famous quote that encapsulates their personality or a personal story that exemplifies their character.

Thank the guests

Show gratitude towards the people in attendance for coming together to support and celebrate the life of your loved one. Mention how their presence is a reflection of the impact the deceased had on their lives.

2. Introduce yourself and your relationship to the deceased

Briefly explain who you are and your relationship with the deceased if you're not already a known family member or close friend. This helps the audience understand the perspective from which you're sharing your experiences and memories.

3. Describe their personality and character traits

Use descriptive adjectives and examples

What kind of person were they? Consider their positive attributes and mention specific examples that illustrate their qualities, such as their kindness, humour, or resilience. This brings life to your words and helps paint a vivid picture of the person being remembered.

Acknowledge their flaws with sensitivity

No one is perfect, and it's okay to acknowledge their shortcomings in a sensitive and respectful manner. They may have had a stubborn streak or been notoriously late, but mentioning these traits can add a touch of authenticity and relatability to your eulogy.

4. Share impactful memories and stories

Include personal anecdotes that highlight your connection with the deceased and the unique ways they touched your life. These stories can be heartwarming, funny, or difficult, but they should evoke emotion and help the audience feel a stronger connection to the person being honoured.

5. Discuss their achievements and legacy

Mention key accomplishments and milestones in their life, such as their career, education, or community involvement. Discuss the impact the deceased had on their family, friends, and community, and the lasting legacy they leave behind.

6. Offer words of comfort and look to the future

End your eulogy with a message of hope and consolation for the bereaved. You can also share a vision of the future, where the deceased's memory lives on through the actions and values of their loved ones.

What To Say In Eulogy Example:

Example of a short eulogy:

Opening:

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu. As we gather to remember and celebrate [Deceased's Name] life, we recognize the strength and courage they brought to us all.

Introduction:

My name is [Your Name], and I had the privilege of being [Deceased's Name] dear friend for over twenty years.

Character traits:

[Deceased's Name] was one of the most generous, compassionate, and adventurous souls I've ever known. They had a wonderful way of making everyone around them feel special and understood, which is a testament to their empathetic nature.

Memories and stories:

One of my fondest memories with [Deceased's Name] was our spontaneous road trip across the country. We laughed until our sides hurt and discovered incredible places, creating lifelong memories that I will treasure forever.

Achievements and legacy:

[Deceased's Name] was not only a loving parent and dedicated friend but also an accomplished [profession]. Their contributions to [community or field] made a lasting impact that will continue to inspire others.

Comfort and future:

As we mourn the loss of [Deceased's Name], let us find comfort in the love and support we offer one another, and the knowledge that their memory and spirit will live on in the hearts of those they touched.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a eulogy?

A eulogy is a speech or piece of writing that praises someone or something highly, typically someone who has just died. It is a way to pay tribute to the deceased by highlighting their life, accomplishments, and the impact they had on others.

Who generally delivers a eulogy?

Traditionally, eulogies are delivered by family members, close friends, colleagues, or religious leaders. The person chosen is usually someone who knew the deceased well and is comfortable speaking in front of others.

How long should a eulogy be?

A eulogy typically lasts between 5 to 15 minutes. It's long enough to cover key aspects of the person's life but short enough to keep the attention of the audience.

Is it okay to include humor in a eulogy?

Yes, as long as it is respectful and in good taste. Humor can help to celebrate the deceased's personality and the joy they brought into the lives of others, but it should be used judiciously.

What are some key points to include in a eulogy?

Key points to include in a eulogy are an introduction of yourself, how you knew the deceased, anecdotes or stories that highlight their personality and achievements, their virtues and the impact they made on people’s lives, and a conclusion that often includes a farewell message to the deceased.

Can I read the eulogy from a paper or should I memorize it?

Either is acceptable. Reading from a paper can ensure you cover all points you intend to without forgetting anything in an emotional moment, while memorizing it can make it more personal and engaging. Choose whatever approach makes you most comfortable.

How can I manage my emotions while delivering a eulogy?

Managing emotions during a eulogy can be difficult. It’s okay to show emotion, as it reflects the significance of the loss. You can manage your emotions by practicing the eulogy multiple times, focusing on breathing, and pausing when needed. Remember it is fine to take a moment to compose yourself.

Is it appropriate to include personal stories about the deceased in the eulogy?

Yes, personal stories often enhance the eulogy by illustrating the character of the deceased and the special memories shared. Such stories can resonate with and comfort the audience, as they reflect on their own memories with the deceased.

What if I didn't know the deceased very well?

Even if you did not know the deceased very well, you can still deliver a meaningful eulogy by gathering stories, facts, and perspectives from those who did know them better. Your role in this case is more about honoring their memory on behalf of the family and friends.

Should a eulogy be written formally or can it be more conversational?

A eulogy can be written and delivered in a more conversational style to reflect the natural way you speak and to better connect with the audience. The tone should be respectful and appropriate for the setting.

How do I open a eulogy?

Opening a eulogy can be done by thanking the attendees for coming, introducing yourself and your relationship with the deceased, and expressing the honor of being able to deliver the eulogy.

Is it necessary to cover the deceased’s entire life story in a eulogy?

No, it is not necessary to cover the deceased’s entire life story in a eulogy. It’s often more impactful to focus on key moments, relationships, and traits that truly represent who the person was.

Can I use quotes or poetry in the eulogy?

Absolutely. Incorporating quotes, poetry, religious texts, or other meaningful readings can add depth to your eulogy and eloquently express emotions or sentiments about the deceased.

What if I become too overwhelmed to continue while delivering the eulogy?

If you become overwhelmed while delivering the eulogy, take a moment to pause, take a deep breath, or have a sip of water. The audience will understand as they also share in the grief. It can also be helpful to designate a backup person to take over if necessary.

Is it alright to seek help when writing a eulogy?

Seeking help when writing a eulogy is perfectly fine. It can be a collaborative effort where family and friends contribute memories and stories, making the eulogy more comprehensive and representative of the deceased's life.

How can I end the eulogy on a positive note?

To end the eulogy on a positive note, you can celebrate the legacy the deceased leaves behind, express hope for the future, gratitude for the time spent together, or share a positive anecdote or inspirational quote.

In what way can I make the eulogy personal and unique to the deceased?

To make the eulogy personal and unique, focus on the details that made the deceased who they were. Talk about their quirks, passions, hobbies, and the stories that illustrate these. Use specific examples that highlight their individuality.

Should I rehearse the eulogy before the day of the funeral?

Yes, rehearsing the eulogy before the funeral can help to ensure a smoother delivery. It gives you a chance to time yourself, modify any parts as necessary, and become more comfortable with what you’re going to say.

What should I do if the audience becomes emotional during the eulogy?

If the audience becomes emotional, it's okay to give them a moment, offer a comforting word, or simply allow the emotions to resonate. It’s a natural reaction during such a tender time and shows that your words are reaching the hearts of the attendees.

Is it okay to share a difficult or painful memory in the eulogy?

While a eulogy should primarily focus on celebrating and honoring the deceased, sharing a difficult or painful memory can be appropriate if it serves a purpose, such as highlighting the person's strength, growth, or the love and support of those around them. Keep in mind the feelings of the audience and ensure it is suitable for the occasion.

How do I approach writing a eulogy for someone with a complicated history?

When writing a eulogy for someone with a complicated history, it's important to find balance. Acknowledge their challenges without dwelling on them. Emphasize redemption, healing, love, and positive aspects that can provide comfort and a more rounded representation of their life.

Crafting a eulogy to honour your loved one is a deeply personal and emotional experience. By focusing on their character traits, memories, and their legacy, you will be able to create a touching tribute that does justice to their unique life and spirit. Remember, you're not alone in this process. Eulogy Assistant is here to guide you every step of the way. For more guidance and examples, feel free to explore other articles and resources on our website. If this article was helpful to you, please share it with others who may be seeking guidance on what to say in a eulogy.