What Goes In An Eulogy?

Losing a loved one is undoubtedly one of the most challenging times in our lives, and being asked to deliver their eulogy is both an honour and a responsibility. You may feel overwhelmed and unsure about what goes in a eulogy, but don't worry. Through this guide, we will walk you through the essential elements of a meaningful eulogy and help you create a heartfelt tribute to your loved one.

1. Opening and personal introduction

Begin your eulogy by introducing yourself to the audience, explaining who you are and your relationship with the deceased. This helps establish a connection with the listeners and gives them an understanding of your perspective while sharing memories and stories.

2. Acknowledging key family members and relationships

It's essential to recognise and acknowledge the deceased's closest family members, such as their partner, children, parents, and siblings. Ensure you express gratitude for their presence and extend condolences. By doing this, you provide comfort and support to the grieving family members.

3. Personal anecdotes and stories

Sharing personal anecdotes and stories that encapsulate the person's character and spirit is the heart of a eulogy. These anecdotes can be heartwarming, poignant, or even funny, reflecting the different aspects of the deceased's personality. The goal is to make the audience feel closer to the person and remember them fondly through your words.

Guidelines for personal anecdotes:

• Choose stories that showcase the person's positive traits and characteristics.
• Keep the stories respectful and family-friendly.
• Ensure stories are relevant and relatable for close family members and friends.

4. Mention accomplishments and qualities

Highlight the individual's accomplishments, either professionally or personally, to give a more rounded impression of their life. These could be career successes, community involvement, or unique talents and hobbies. Additionally, discuss the deceased's most admirable qualities and the ways in which those qualities positively impacted others' lives.

5. Include a favourite quote or poem

Incorporating a favourite quote or poem that reflects the person's beliefs or values can add a touching personal touch to the eulogy. If the deceased had a favourite literary piece or an inspiring quote they lived by, consider sharing it as it offers a deeper insight into their character.

6. Addressing the loss and grief

While it's important to celebrate the person's life, it's equally crucial to acknowledge the pain and grief experienced by their loved ones. Expressing heartfelt condolences and sharing your own emotions can help to create a sense of solidarity among the audience. It's crucial to handle this part delicately and sensitively, to provide support without indulging in the sadness excessively.

7. Closing and final farewell

Close your eulogy with an appropriate, touching, and heartfelt final farewell. This can be a simple thank you, a recollection of a cherished memory, or an expression of hope for the legacy the deceased leaves behind. The closing is your chance to offer a lasting tribute and to bring a sense of closure to your tribute.

What Goes In An Eulogy? Example:

Example Eulogy:

Hello, my name is Jane, and I had the privilege of being Sarah's best friend for over 20 years. Before I begin, I would like to extend my deepest condolences to Sarah's family: her loving husband, Mark, her wonderful children, Emma and Jack, and her parents, Susan and Richard. Your strength and love for Sarah are truly inspiring.

There are so many stories I could share about Sarah, like the time we went on a spontaneous road trip, or when she spent countless hours volunteering at the animal shelter. One of the many things I admired about her was her unwavering kindness and ability to inspire those around her. Sarah's favourite quote was, "In a world where you can be anything, be kind." And that's exactly how she lived her life.

As we gather here today, we all feel the pain of losing Sarah. But while we mourn her passing, it's important also to celebrate the life she led and the countless lives she touched. Sarah lives on in her children's smiles, the art she created, and the memories we share.

So, as we say goodbye today, let's honour Sarah by remembering her kindness, her generosity, and her vibrant spirit. Thank you, Sarah, for being an incredible friend, a loving wife and mother, and an inspiration to us all.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the purpose of a eulogy?

A eulogy is intended to honor and celebrate the life of the deceased, giving those in attendance a chance to remember their loved one. It offers a chance to acknowledge the impact the person had on others and share memories that encapsulate their essence.

Who is typically responsible for giving a eulogy?

Usually, a close family member or friend gives the eulogy. However, it may also be a religious leader, a colleague, or anyone who was significantly close to the person who has passed away.

How long should a eulogy be?

A typical eulogy lasts between 5 to 10 minutes, but the duration can vary depending on the setting and the wishes of the family. It's important to be concise while still conveying your heartfelt messages.

What are the key components of a eulogy?

A eulogy often includes an introduction, details about the person’s life such as their family, interests, and achievements, personal stories or anecdotes, the legacy left behind, and a conclusion that often includes words of farewell or a final tribute.

Can I include humor in a eulogy?

Yes, if it is done tastefully and in a way that honors the memory of the deceased. Including a light touch of humor can help celebrate the person’s life and bring comfort to those grieving.

Should a eulogy be written or improvised?

It is generally recommended to write a eulogy in advance. This helps you gather your thoughts and ensure you cover everything you wish to say without being overwhelmed by emotion on the day.

How can I personalize a eulogy?

Personalize a eulogy by sharing personal anecdotes, stories, or characteristics that were unique to the deceased. Mention their quirks, talents, passions, or any memories that highlight who they were as an individual.

Is it acceptable to get emotional while delivering a eulogy?

Absolutely. Showing emotion is natural and can be comforting to others. It indicates the depth of your relationship with the deceased and the sincerity of your words.

How can I practice delivering a eulogy?

Practice by reading the eulogy aloud multiple times. This will build comfort with the material and help you manage any emotions that arise. You can also practice in front of a friend or family member for feedback.

What should I do if I get too emotional during the eulogy?

If emotions become overwhelming, it’s okay to take a moment to compose yourself. Have a backup person who can continue reading the eulogy if necessary, or simply pause, take a few deep breaths, and continue when you’re ready.

Can I use quotes or poems in a eulogy?

Yes, quotes, poems, or religious texts that were meaningful to the deceased or are reflective of their life and philosophies can be appropriate and add depth to the eulogy.

Should I share every detail about someone's life in a eulogy?

It is not necessary or practical to share every detail. Focus on what best represents their life, values, and the impact they had on others. Aim to capture the essence rather than the entirety of a person’s life.

How do I handle speaking about a complicated or difficult past?

Approach such topics with sensitivity and focus on the positive aspects of the person’s life. It's okay to acknowledge that no one is perfect while celebrating the individual's good qualities and contributions.

What if the deceased did not want a eulogy?

If the deceased made it known they didn't want a eulogy, their wishes should be respected. Alternatives can be an open mic for attendees to share memories or a moment of silence.

How do I conclude a eulogy?

End the eulogy with a fond farewell, expressing what the person meant to you and perhaps a message of hope or gratitude. You may also include a final anecdote that leaves a lasting image or sentiment.

Is it okay to share achievements without sounding boastful?

Yes, you can mention achievements in the context of their significance to the person’s life. Speak of these with humility and focus on why these accomplishments were meaningful.

Can I make references to spiritual or religious beliefs?

If it aligns with the beliefs of the deceased and their family, and is suitable for the audience, you may include such references. However, be mindful of the diversity of beliefs among the attendees.

How should I address the audience in a eulogy?

Address the audience in an inclusive way, acknowledging the presence of family, friends, colleagues, and all who shared in the deceased's life. This creates a sense of communal support and shared mourning.

Can I deliver a eulogy if I'm not a family member?

Yes, with the family’s permission. Being asked to eulogize as a friend, colleague, or non-family member is a profound honor and indicates your significant relationship with the deceased.

What if I’m not sure what to include in the eulogy?

Talk to other family members and friends to gather stories and insights. Look for themes and elements in the person’s life that resonate with many, and focus on what genuinely reflects the person you are honoring.

How formal should the language of a eulogy be?

The tone should be respectful and the language depends on the setting and your relationship with the deceased. A natural and somewhat conversational tone is often best, making the eulogy personal and accessible.

Are there any topics I should avoid in a eulogy?

Generally, avoid subjects that might be considered controversial or cause distress to the family and attendees. Focus on the positive and how the person lived rather than the specifics of how they died. Always aim to speak with kindness and respect.

We hope you now have a clearer idea of what goes into a meaningful and heartfelt eulogy. While writing a eulogy can be challenging and emotional, remember it is a unique opportunity to celebrate your loved one's life and legacy. If you need further guidance or assistance in crafting the perfect eulogy, explore the other resources and guides available on Eulogy Assistant. And if you found this article helpful, please share it with others who might benefit from its insights.