Writing a eulogy is never an easy task - finding the right words to honour a loved one's memory and celebrate their life can be both challenging and emotional. Knowing what to include in that eulogy is crucial, as it is a way of sharing the departed's character, accomplishments, and essence with those who gather to pay their respects. This guide will help you find the perfect things to say when performing a eulogy to ensure your loved one is remembered in a way that's both heartfelt and memorable.
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Table of Contents
Discuss Their Personality
The person's personality is an essential aspect to cover in the eulogy. Take time to describe what made them unique, special, and memorable to the people who knew and loved them. Include traits such as their sense of humour, kindness, perseverance, and their warmth towards others. You can also discuss the qualities that people admired in them and how it touched the lives of others.
Share Stories and Anecdotes
Sharing stories and anecdotes is an excellent way to paint a picture of the person's life and what they meant to the people around them. Choose a few memorable moments that encapsulate their personality, such as a funny story that showcases their sense of humour or a heartwarming tale that displays their caring nature. In telling these stories, you'll ensure that the audience gets a genuine sense of the person's life and character.
Include Personal Experiences
Sharing your own experiences with the deceased can add a personal touch and highlight your connection with them. It also provides comfort to the family, as they are reassured that their loved one's memory will live on through the people they've left behind.
Discuss Their Achievements and Passions
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It's essential to discuss the person's achievements, whether it be in their personal, professional, or community life. Talk about their career accomplishments, steps they took to improve their community, or their dedication to a particular cause. Remember to also include their hobbies and passions, as it will add depth to your description of the person and help guests relate to them.
Mention Key Relationships
Discuss the person's relationships with their family, friends, or colleagues, as these connections played a significant role in their life. Describe key relationships they had and how their love, friendship, or mentorship impacted the lives of others. This will help those attending the funeral feel connected and remember that they are not alone in their grief.
Include Life Lessons or Important Values
Adding life lessons or values that the person held close can provide guidance and comfort to the audience. Discuss their beliefs, principles, or lessons they've learned throughout their life. You can draw upon quotes, sayings, or wisdom they shared with you to convey these messages, helping to ensure their wisdom lives on.
Things To Say When Performing Eulogy Example:
A Eulogy for Sarah, a Loving Mother and Friend
Good morning, everyone. We gather here today to celebrate the life of Sarah, a remarkable woman who was a loving mother, devoted friend, and inspiration to us all.
Discussing Sarah's Personality: Sarah was known for her infectious laughter and ability to light up a room with her presence. Her kindness and warmth made her a friend to many, and she never hesitated to lend a helping hand. With her resilient spirit, Sarah faced life's challenges head-on and never gave up.
Sharing Stories and Anecdotes: I remember the time she turned her living room into an impromptu dance floor for her daughter's birthday party, dancing and laughing all night long with a group of energetic kids. Sarah's love of adventure took her on exciting travels across the world, where she collected memories, photos and stories that she loved sharing with us.
Discussing Achievements and Passions: Sarah was a dedicated nurse, devoting countless hours to care for her patients and make a difference in their lives. Her passion for volunteering led her to work on various community projects, from organizing fundraisers to tutoring underprivileged children.
Mentioning Key Relationships: She was a devoted mother to her two children, John and Emma, who she cherished above all else. Sarah's love and guidance shaped their lives, and her legacy of love will forever live on through them.
Including Life Lessons and Values: One of Sarah's favourite quotes was, 'Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.' This quote embodies her resilient spirit, and it serves as a reminder to us all that we can find beauty and joy, even during the most challenging times.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the purpose of a eulogy?
A eulogy serves to honor the life and memory of someone who has passed away. It's an opportunity to share memories, express grief and gratitude, and celebrate the impact the deceased had on the lives of others.
Who usually delivers a eulogy?
Eulogies are often delivered by close family members or friends, but can also be given by colleagues, clergy, or community leaders. Ultimately, the person chosen should have a significant connection to the deceased and feel comfortable speaking publicly about their memories and feelings.
How long should a eulogy be?
Typically, a eulogy is about 5 to 10 minutes long. It's important to be concise while still expressing what was unique about the deceased's life and the bond you shared.
Is it alright to include humor in a eulogy?
Yes, if it feels appropriate and respectful. Sharing a humorous story can celebrate the deceased's personality and bring lightness to a somber occasion, provided it is done tastefully.
Can I write the eulogy as a poem?
Yes, a eulogy can be delivered in the form of a poem if this suits the personality of the deceased or the speaker's style. Poetry can encapsulate emotions and thoughts in a unique and poignant way.
Should I practice the eulogy beforehand?
Practicing the eulogy can help to manage nerves and ensure a more confident and smooth delivery on the day of the funeral or memorial service.
How do I start writing a eulogy?
Begin by collecting your thoughts and memories about the deceased. Consider their values, lessons they shared, and anecdotes that represent who they were. Once you have these elements, start with an introduction that acknowledges the audience and the reason for gathering.
What if I become too emotional while delivering the eulogy?
It is natural to become emotional during such a poignant speech. Take a moment to pause, breathe deeply, and if needed, have a backup person who can help finish reading the eulogy if you're unable to continue.
What should be avoided in a eulogy?
Avoid airing personal grievances, any form of humor or stories that might be offensive to others, and overly intimate or embarrassing stories about the deceased. Focus on the positive impact and the fond memories that can be cherished by those in attendance.
Is it okay to share a eulogy even if I wasn't particularly close to the deceased?
If you've been asked to share a eulogy, it's because the family values your perspective or because you represent an aspect of the deceased's life. Speak from the heart and focus on the positive interactions and contributions of the individual.
Can a eulogy be delivered by more than one person?
Yes, a eulogy can be a collaborative effort in which different individuals share their memories and stories. This can provide a more rounded tribute to the deceased.
Is it essential to include religious elements in a eulogy?
This depends on the deceased's and the family's preferences. If they were religious or the service is held in a religious context, it may be appropriate to include religious elements.
How can I make my eulogy more personal?
Share specific anecdotes, personal stories, or descriptions of the unique traits that made the deceased special to you and others. Personal reflections create a more heartfelt and memorable eulogy.
What do I do if I'm unable to finish writing the eulogy?
If you're struggling to write the eulogy, ask for help from others who knew the person. They can provide input, stories, and feedback that can help you complete the tribute.
Should I write the eulogy down, or can I speak extemporaneously?
While speaking from the heart is touching, having a written eulogy can keep your thoughts structured and ensures you don't omit anything important during an emotionally charged moment.
How can I involve others in the eulogy?
You can ask others to contribute stories or quotes that you can include, or you can invite them to speak briefly as part of the eulogy. This can make the tribute richer and more varied.
Is it appropriate to mention the cause of death in a eulogy?
Generally, it is not necessary to mention the cause of death unless it is relevant to the life story or lessons of the deceased, and it can be done in a respectful manner.
Can the eulogy include a call to action, such as donating to a cause?
Yes, it can be appropriate to conclude a eulogy by inviting others to honor the deceased's memory by supporting a cause or charity that was meaningful to them.
How can I tie the deceased's achievements into the eulogy?
Highlight their accomplishments by sharing how these reflected their character and values, and the impact their work had on others. Aim to weave these narratives seamlessly into the greater story of their life.
What if I'm asked to give a eulogy on short notice?
Speak from the heart, focus on the positive aspects of the individual's life, and don't be afraid to keep it short and sincere if you have limited time to prepare.
How can I make sure my eulogy resonates with everyone present?
Share universal themes like love, friendship, striving to overcome challenges, and the joy of life, which are relatable to everyone. Make your eulogy inclusive by acknowledging the diverse group of people present and their shared loss.
In conclusion, reflecting on the life of your loved one and sharing their stories can provide comfort and a sense of connection for those in attendance at the funeral. Remember to be genuine and heartfelt as you honour their memory. We hope this guide has provided helpful insights into things to say when performing a eulogy. If you found this article helpful, please feel free to share it with others facing the challenge of crafting a fitting tribute. You may also find additional support and advice on our Eulogy Assistant website, as well as other guides to help you navigate the funeral planning process.