Obituaries, US Funeral Homes

James R. Gray Funeral Home Obituaries

James R. Gray Funeral Home Obituaries

Introduction to James R. Gray Funeral Home

Located at 1530 Buffalo Rd, Rochester, NY, 14624, James R. Gray Funeral Home is a trusted and respected funeral home in the Rochester community. With a long history of providing compassionate and professional funeral services, James R. Gray Funeral Home has earned a reputation for excellence in helping families say goodbye to their loved ones.

A Legacy of Care and Compassion

James R. Gray Funeral Home has been serving the Rochester area for generations, providing a tradition of care and compassion that is unmatched in the industry. The funeral home's experienced staff is dedicated to helping families navigate the difficult process of planning a funeral, ensuring that every detail is taken care of with precision and sensitivity.

James R. Gray Funeral Home

Address: 1530 Buffalo Rd, Rochester, NY, 14624
Phone Number: 1-585-247-6360
Get Direction: Google Maps Link

Funeral Obiturary Search

Explore our extensive database to find and remember the lives of loved ones through millions of heartfelt obituaries

Recent Funeral Home Obituaries

Rose Catherine Correa-Jimenez (Strassner) - Unknown - April 12, 2021

Departed: 04/12/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: Passed away peacefully April 12, 2021. Rose was compassionate, loving, kind, funny, generous, strong, self-motivated, and independent. Rose graduated from St. Joseph's Business School, paying for her own education while working as a live-in nanny.  She was introduced to Puerto Rico by her best friend and fell in love with the island and its culture. Rose worked in purchasing most of her career, retiring as a Purchasing Manager and was well liked by her coworkers and vendors. She raised her three children on her own and then helped raise her grandchildren. Family was everything to Rose. She had a very large extended family and loved all of her step-children as if they were her own. She was very devoted to her church and had strong faith in God. She was calmed with the knowledge that she would see the Lord upon her passing. Rose will be greatly missed by all of those who love her.
Rose is predeceased by her parents, William and Rose Strassner; husband, Angel Correa-Jimenez; siblings Joyce, William, Joanne, and Francis. She is survived by her children, Erina (Jim) Beck, Migdalia (Doug) Caswell, Daniel L. Burgos; grandchildren, Evan, James, Daniel, Justin, Hannah, Katelyn, Olivia, Greyson and Natalie; sister, Janice Smith; several nieces, nephews and dear friends.
Friends and family are invited to a Memorial Service, which is planned for Thursday, April 22 at 1:00pm at Trinity Alliance Church, 1275 Spencerport Rd. Rochester, NY 14606. Interment will be private.
View Full Obituary

Mary D. DeVries - Unknown - April 09, 2021

Departed: 04/09/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: Gates: On April 9, 2021. Survived by her loving husband Arnold, sons James & Michael DeVries, Granddaughters Nicole DeVries, Rachael (Michael) Vendetta, nieces, nephews & cousins. Family & friends are welcome to call Thursday, April 15 from 4-7 pm at the James R. Gray Funeral Home, 1530 Buffalo Rd. A Memorial Service will be held Friday, April 16 at 11am at the Lawson Rd. Church of Christ, 15 Lawson Rd. Rochester, NY 14616. Kindly consider the church in Mary's memory.
View Full Obituary

Barbara A. Fedigan - Unknown - April 05, 2021

Departed: 04/05/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: Predeceased by parents Dorothy & Howard Jenks; siblings Bill, Gary & Linda Jenks. Survived by her children Marcy (Todd) VanOcker, Steve (Sandy) Muir & Lisa Cervini; grandchildren Shannon Foos, Kimberly & Emily VanOcker & Julie Reisinger; great-grandchildren Justin Howell & Kyra Bennett; brother Dick (Joanne) Jenks; sister Sharon Huyck; nieces & nephews.
Barb retired from Kodak in 2000.  Kindly consider American Cancer Society in her memory.
Services & interment will be private.
View Full Obituary

Alan M. Beale - Unknown - April 02, 2021

Departed: 04/02/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: Survived by his loving wife Bridget of 63 years; son Douglas Beale; daughter Denise Keller; granddaughters Amanda Smith and Rachel (Bassam) Haddad; great grandchildren Nikolai and Kaliana.
Alan was a Navy man and a Stationary Engineer, for many years, working at Xerox and Delco in Rochester. He was a lifelong Buffalo Bills fan who also loved crossword puzzles and jazz music. Alan and Shannon were in love with the idea of living on the water, which is why they chose to make their home on Sodus Bay, and later in Fair Haven.
A Celebration of Life will be held on June 20, 2021, beginning at 2:00 PM at the Beach Shelter Pavilion, in Fair Haven State Park. The obituary will also be published in the Sunday April 10, 2021 edition of the Rochester Democrat & Chronicle.
View Full Obituary

Francis J. Bodnar, Sr. - Unknown - March 30, 2021

Departed: 03/30/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: Survived by children Frank J. Bodnar, Jr., Elizabeth Bodnar and Larry Bodnar; grandchildren Madison, Taylor, Frank, James, Alexis and Bradley Bodnar; brother Alex Bodnar; nieces, nephews and cousins. Frank retired from Eastman Kodak.
Per his wishes, there will be no services and burial will be private. Frank's obituary will appear in the Sunday April 4, 2021 Democrat & Chronicle.
View Full Obituary

Emilie Aleksandra Fischl - April 16, 1996 - March 26, 2021

Departed: 03/26/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: Emilie Aleksandra Fischl…Sasha
Smart, funny, warm with a streak of sardonic mischievousness, we lost our Sasha to the scourge of our time—Fentanyl. She was two weeks shy of her 25th birthday.
Her life began in St. Petersburg, Russia where she had a difficult birth and then was placed in an orphanage whose condition could only be described as horrific. From the stench of boiled cabbage and disinfectant to the factory-like care, Sasha endured there for more than a year. She came to America with us in 1998 after we spent nearly a month in St. Petersburg living with host families there and in Moscow and procuring the needed paperwork for her to arrive on our shores as an American citizen. Greeting us at the airport on her arrival were many friends and her new Grandma Emmi after whom she was named. She also met her new, older brother who doted on her and became her best and closest friend.
Her early life was fun-filled, with friends and family who provided unconditional love.  At first she lived in the Park Avenue neighborhood and we’d often ski or sled to a local coffee house for hot chocolate.  Yearly trips to visit Grandma, to Myrtle Beach, camping and hiking rounded out her early adventures.
In early 2003 our family moved to its current home in Honeoye Falls where Sasha began second grade at the Manor School. She was a good student and well liked.
At the Middle School, she played trombone in the band and was often heard practicing by anyone who came to visit and wondered what the strange sounds emanating from the upstairs were all about. Sasha’s high school years were very challenging but she received exceptional aid from the HF/L staff and a particularly kind, helpful teacher, Heather Bell. But as she grew older a darker side from the pain of her early years in Russia emerged.
She graduated early in January of 2014 and shortly after her 18th birthday moved to the Bay Area of California. There she met and found great joy in her friends, most notably Mary Bailey, Trevor Holminski, Emily Graham and Joe & Noelle Kahn. She lived on her own for nearly four years, returning to the Rochester area in November 2018.
Working odd jobs and as a delivery driver for Amazon, Sasha dreamed about going back to school to get a degree in nursing. She was a caring and engaging young woman who spent her final weeks with happiness and joy, even going skiing for the first time in years with her Papa.
She leaves behind her parents, Robert Fischl and Patricia Mallon, her brother Julian, her Grandma, Aunt Jacky as well as many friends and loved ones. She was a free spirit from the start and we hope she has now found the peace that was so elusive in her young life. We will all miss her very, very much. Back In the Former U.S.S.R The Adventure of Emilie Aleksandra “Sasha” January 27/28, 1998
It’s been another long, jet-lagged day like the one more than two years ago when we went to Siberia for Julian. But this is St. Petersburg, window of Russia to the west. Actually the trip was somehow easier, less anxiety filled and more known than before. Yet I can’t shake the feeling that this is what we are supposed to do – to reach out for this little girl and draw her close with love. As we were whisked from the airport at high speed, so many images blurred together to form a mosaic of sights I know I’ve seen before. Maybe in a dream or maybe...  Tomorrow we go to the orphanage to meet our new daughter and I’m so excited yet exhausted. The tedium of the waiting, of meeting more new people, of wondering whether or not all will go well, all plods forth until my brain pounds with over stimulation. I can’t sleep yet I’m bone tired. I can’t make time go faster, I can only wait and hope. My thoughts turn to Julian and Grandma and how they’re doing. I’m convinced that all will proceed without a hitch and that we will become one happy family. I can’t wait to be home with Pat and Julian and Emmi A. January 29, 1998
Today I met my daughter and she cried with fear and terror in her eyes. Surrounded by well-meaning but foreign strangers. But I cried, too, with love for a little child whose life was now to be measured by the fates in my care. She’s so small and serious and unsmiling. In her short, little life so far she’s known nothing but forced care. Today she became real to me and to Pat in a way that only meeting her could provide. I sang a little song in her ear to quiet her as I rocked and waltzed around the room. The short time we spent together vanished like a distant echo, leaving me spent but full of the same joy I experienced upon meeting my son Julian. We bundled Sasha up and took her out into the brilliant sun and cold, cold world of St. Petersburg to have her photo taken for her passport. Upon our return to the orphanage, we presented gifts and our two duffel bags of toys and other donations from our good friend’s back home. A matronly female aide then took Sasha away. We could return the next day if we wanted, and we truly wanted to take her right there. But patience and many smiles were the rules of the journey, smiles I hope she can someday share with us, too. January 30, 1998 “Our Day in Court”
After a fitful night of half sleep, we awoke to the chime of the antique clock in our host family’s kitchen. Like all days this far to the north, it began in darkness only to gradually emerge from twilight. The day was cold and snowy, adding an almost pristine quality to the grim, gritty reality of what Russia looks like in winter. Breakfast was “kasha” and brown bread and coffee so strong it made my brain snap awake with a jolt. We bundled up against the cold and rode over to the courthouse where we saw another American couple from the day before at the “adoption center”, a clearinghouse for children of all sorts in Russia’s former capital city. The jet lag was still slow in resolving itself, which meant no return to my normal bodily schedule. So I found myself with an incredible need to relieve myself just when we were supposed to appear before the judge of the court. I was shown the “facility” but it was so raw, crude (a hole in the floor) and filthy (not to mention wide open to full public view) that I could not bring myself to use it. Instead, I went back to the hallway and tried my best to smile and carry on. We were finally summoned and stood while a kindly, young judge pronounced us the parents of a beautiful baby girl. We left and returned to the apartment of our host family where, much to my relief, the bathroom was empty. After a quick lunch, we returned to the orphanage with a bag of Cheerios and a few toys to meet with Sasha again. This time there were no tears, just quiet acquiesce and a genuine hunger for the Cheerios. We talked with the orphanage director and played for a while with our new daughter. She almost smiled as we made faces in the mirror but then it was time to go – for the orphanage staff left work early on Friday. We would not be allowed to see our Sasha until the following Monday but I was ready to snatch her up and run the hell out of there. No. No. That’s not the way it would be, so after more patience and smiles we went on our way. We stopped at the Russian museum to buy gifts for friends and family back home and then visited a department store nearby. The contrasts on this trip were so stark in comparison to our experience in Siberia. Here things were plentiful and people looked happier and healthier. Here, too, were centuries of history on every corner. We cruised past Dostoyevsky’s apartment and the fortress of Peter and Paul. Statues and palaces were everywhere until my mind went numb from the mention of still another splendid residence. It was time to return to our host family and prepare for a long weekend of sightseeing and fun. Yet without Sasha in my arms all I can think of is how lonely she must be in that dismal orphanage and how nice it will be when we’re all finally together and home. January 31, 1998
Upon entering the summer palace of Catherine the Great, I immediately understood why revolution was such a common occurrence in this part of the world. A short, half-hour drive from the city brought us to a world of opulence unknown in our own country. Even the lavish excess of the Hearst Castle in San Simeon, or the pompously grand, sparkling Versailles were no match for the splendor of the royal Russian Romanovs. Room after room after room was filled with gold gilt and magnificent works of art. The floors, the walls, the ceilings were adorned with ornate and intricate carvings that made my mind reel with awe and astonishment. Shortly before we arrived at the palace, we visited the monument to the siege of St. Petersburg (then called Leningrad) during World War Two. What a sobering place this was, with bunker-like walls in tribute to those who fell during the war. And what a fall it was. We viewed a short video that summed it up vividly. The sheer force of will exhibited by the Russian people left me wondering how I would have responded to such an awful experience. The few artifacts in glass, coffin-like displays were grim reminders of how easy it was to die and how difficult to survive. The sheer waste of it all left me pondering why. But I wasn’t searching for answers, merely meaning. It was like trying to make sense of senselessness. It could not be done yet I couldn’t help but to try.
The swirling snow mixed with the grit of road sand as Vasily, our driver, expertly guided his Ford Escort through the weaving traffic of belching trucks, buses, streetcars and automobiles. At speeds that were high enough to unnerve even the most adroit travelers, we made our way back to the apartment of our host family – Mikhail, Irina and their son Sergy. Pat persuaded me to leave that warm comfort and venture out into the city, unaccompanied except for our wits, for a short walking tour of the immediate area. We stopped as kiosks and small shops just to look and be looked at relentlessly by the passing people. To say we stood out would be a gross understatement. With our purple fleece headbands and neck gaiters, we were a walking carnival of color in a culture of muted grays and browns. After searching unsuccessfully for a place to exchange currency, we returned to our apartment womb only to have Sergy volunteer to assist us. Out we went once again, partially just to kill time and partly from a desire to be prepared for our excursion the following day to the Hermitage Museum and the Bolshoi Ballet at the Merinksky Theater. We found an exchange office and then wandered back to the apartment where a meal to be remembered awaited us. The meal was a sort of fat-meat pie that was served cold. It was so terrible tasting that we sneaked most of it back into the refrigerator and retired to our room for the night. I keep counting the minutes until our departure with Emilie Aleksandra but it doesn’t help. February 1, 1998
While waiting for our driver’s battery to warm up enough to start the car, I can write of our experiences from the previous day – first at the Hermitage and then later at the Merinsky Theater where it was our pleasure to see the Bolshoi Ballet perform Adam’s “Giselle.” Words cannot do justice to the sights and sounds of the day. The Hermitage is home to one of the most extensive art collections. It actually rivals the Louvre in Paris. Room after gilt-laden room was filled with such treasures that my eyes began to hurt from the marvel of it all. We saw Monet, Picasso, Matisse, Gaugin, Rembrant, and so many other master works, some of which have never even appeared in artistic books. An entire section was devoted to the sculptures of Rodin. Another wing housed numerous treasures of Carl Faberge. On top of that were the splendors of a long line of Tsars, dating back to Peter the Great and before. We hardly touched the surface of it all in the four hours we spent wandering. Since picture taking was severely restricted, we elected to buy books that showcased but a smidgen of what we had seen. The Winter Palace itself was a testament to the lavish ways of the times. Italian marble staircases, ebony and oak parquet floors, majestic, multi-tiered crystal chandeliers and enormous, sun-drenched rooms contributed to the sheer wonder of the experience.
After leaving the Hermitage, we returned to our apartment for a quick freshening up. Each time our translator leaves we descend into a nether world of non-communication with our host family. While their 15-year old son, Sergei, speaks some English we communicate mostly with smiles, nods, grunts and sign language. After a while this whole process leaves me exhausted while my mouth hurts from making faces. It was no easier I'm sure, for our hosts who have opened up their private home to complete strangers. Not only are we foreign in custom and culture but they regard us with a mix of envy, fear, curiosity and respect for the fact that we are supplementing their income with our presence. This made for an unusual blend of customer-merchant and guest-host that was both awkward and endearing. After two hours, our driver arrived to usher us to the Merinsky Theatre for a precious evening of the Bolshoi Ballet performing Giselle. The ballet was exquisite, with exceptional dancers who seemed to float across the stage. It was an extra special performance due to the fact that the famous fashion design Claude Givency had personally created the costumes for this show and he sat in the Tsar’s box located in the center back of what can only be described as a superb, historic theatre. After the performance ended, Givency took bows with the cast to thunderous applause from the audience. Somehow we retrieved our coats and found our driver who whisked us home and another day was done. February 2, 1998
Today we returned to the important business that we had come to consummate. We started late due to the increasingly cold temperatures – today it was -16c or around 0øF –and our driver’s car wouldn’t start. Another driver was summoned but shortly after he arrived at our apartment, his car wouldn’t start either — so much for the idea of rising early to get on with the day. Finally with much cajoling, the tired old machine rumbled to life. We sped down Nevsky Prospect toward some bureaucratic office to have our documents prepared. Then we zigzagged around the city for more paperwork and to pick up a typewriter for the orphanage. Another memorable lunch and we were off once again to see our little Sasha. The forced separation over the weekend (the orphanage was closed) made our re-introduction somewhat difficult. But after a few handfuls of Cheerios, we were back connecting with this sad, unsmiling little girl. Both Pat and I hated this watchful, re-bonding effort and we both looked forward to the next day when we could finally take Sasha from the horrible confines that had been her only home. Patience and smiles were wearing thin. The worst part of the orphanage, aside from the dreadful appearance of the place, was the smell. It was a mixture of cabbage, garlic, and disinfectant and bleached clothing that gave off an aroma of otherworldliness. The staff members all wore white lab coats and again, like Julian’s orphanage, were comprised exclusively of women. This made Sasha’s reaction to me somewhat predictable. She was terrified and kept looking at me with eyes that seemed to say “what the hell are you.” I am grateful for my past experience in Siberia and didn’t care that she was fearful. Things will be fine all in good time, my sweet young child — patience and smiles. For nearly two hours we cooed and cuddled and fed Sasha Cheerios, which she hungrily devoured. When our time was up, Sasha was wretched from Pat’s arms to be taken back to the group. If this poor child felt even a part of the separation anxiety we both were feeling, then I was even angrier. But here in this foreign place my anger has no meaning and no place to go. So I bottled it up and swallowed it down, knowing that in only short time this would all be a distant memory that we’d marvel at in the future. It hurt but the pain would subside in time to be replaced with a happy, secure child who might someday smile for us and take her place by our side. For those who feel that time passes too quickly I would add the agony of adoption to my earlier prescription for dental work. Time slows down to a slow-motion crawl where every second takes forever. Only the prescience of what lies ahead can soothe the endlessness of this journey. I know it can’t last and I take comfort from the vision of tomorrow and the thought that this too shall pass. February 3, 1998 Finally, finally, finally she is in my arms and with us, away from that awful place and into a new day. It’s as if we’re passed some major milestone by no longer having to visit the orphanage; no longer having to pay homage to untrusting people who view our actions with intense scrutiny; no longer attaching and then wretchedly detaching from our sweet Sasha. She is ours in law and in spirit and most importantly, in person. The weight I’ve felt lifted has left me giddy with delight. Already our Emmi-Sasha has responded with the thing I longed for most – a smile. Her delight at playing ball with her papa on the floor of our room was worth the entire effort of this journey. Maybe now time will return to its normal, harried pace and we shall be out of this place, to return to our home. The day began like all others. We arose at 9:30 am to the first rays of light. After a quick breakfast of kasha (oatmeal) and brown bread, our driver arrived with Marina our translator. It was then off to pick up General Tamara as we’ve jokingly begun to refer to our adoption coordinator. Tamara is a tough bird of a woman – a typical matronly Russian with an authoritarian manner as she barks out orders for Marina to translate. She brought a cake with her for the small celebration we were about to have at the orphanage. Only later would we find out that she would charge us $25 for this cake. It seems that Tamara takes a cut of every aspect in the process – quite a large cut from what we’re seeing. But at this point I don’t even care although it irritates Pat much more. We’ve spent so much and gone through such bullshit that another $25 is hardly worth the upset. My sights are now set on Friday when we’re to travel by overnight train to Moscow. Another exciting adventure for sure but strangely, it doesn’t worry me much. At this point, I feel as if I could take on the entire Russian army, if necessary, to get out of here. Hopefully it won’t come to that so long as we smile profusely and have patience. After cake and tea with the orphanage director, we were taken through the building to where Sasha was waiting. She was dressed in the outfit we had brought for her, a pretty, blue-green wool dress with a black velvet collar and cuffs. The state of this orphanage was dreadful to the eye and offensive to the nose. It was worn and dirty, with concrete walls and stairs that were crumbling. We passed the kitchen where three of the staff sat at a table drinking tea. The hallway we traversed was partitioned every 15 feet by dirty curtains. We turned right and ascended a stairway that was flanked by dusty, plastic flowers. Another hallway led to the main great room of the orphanage. Here there were three little children who were about to eat their lunch of boiled cabbage and beef that smelled hideously and looked just like it smelled. In the adjacent room, Sasha stood playing with a little green Lego Duplo, obviously from someone’s previous donation. A huge playpen stood near another doorway that opened into a sleeping room. About 15 little crib beds were packed into this small room, with a little boy in one of them, peering over one of the rails at us. We took photographs of these rooms and then gathered up Sasha and the toy bear we’ve given her (courtesy of our friend Garry Geer) and that I had sprinkled with some of the cologne I wear. We then made our way back down the hallways and staircase to the office of Olga, the orphanage director who was still so stern and unsmiling. After fussing with Sasha’s shoes, we put on her winter coat that we had brought, along with a blue hat and mittens. The time had now come to say goodbye to the director and a few staff members who had come by for one last look. Then it was out the door to our waiting driver and the short hop back to our apartment. It was only after we’ve arrived at our host’s home that we could relax a bit while Sasha stared wide-eyed at the new sights and sounds. We were finally one family, only with five mothers all cooing and cuckolding at the new addition. Everyone had an opinion about what she should wear, what she should eat and how best to care for her. The rest of the day was spent cuddling and playing with a little girl who probably received more attention in that one afternoon than she’d had in her whole short life. I was spent but thrilled and when Sasha saw the cat she did a double take and then started to giggle. It is a sound that I shall always remember because it signaled the beginning of our new life. I thanked God for finally bringing us all together Feb 4, 1998 – Our first full day
After a fitful night of tossing and turning while Emmi-Sasha slept soundly, the day began as all others before it. With a mix of dark gray and dull brown, we awoke and began to restlessly move around, partly to try and rouse our still sleeping Sasha. The day was pretty much ours, with no official business to conduct. So we approached the morning hours quite casually. Marina and our driver appeared to escort me downtown for a bit of shopping. I bought a battery for the camera plus two t-shirts and two pair of better-fitting PJs for Emmi A. I also bought a couple of half-liter bottles of St. Petersburg vodka to take home to our friends who’ve been so helpful during our long period away. It was then back to our apartment for a bite to eat before beginning our afternoon session of killing time. The days and hours are starting to move faster once again, perhaps because we’ve reached the halfway point of our stay and it’s all down hill from here. First, we visited the former home of Anna Akhmatova, a favorite Russian poet of mine. I always thought her verse was so dark but my appreciation of just why was dramatically vindicated by our visit to her home, now a museum that charges $5 admission for two plus an additional dollar if you want to take pictures. We did. What a life Anna led. First acclaimed then reviled then re-elevated to the level of a national treasure, a fate I’m sure she would have laughed about. But to lose her husband during the early Stalin purges and then her son just before the onset of World War II, it was easier to understand her dark, foreboding approach to lyrical poetry. Her home was so tiny and confined, her writing reflected the bleakness that would descend from everywhere merely because she thought what she thought and committed it to words. Her life was so difficult, yet it made her work all the more poignant because of it. We learned that she would often write, then read her thoughts out loud to a few close friends before putting the paper into an ashtray and setting it aflame – all to avoid any possibility of retribution by the authorities. As Americans, we cannot fathom what it might be like to persecute others merely for what we think and write. In fact, we defend the vilest, most hate-filled thoughts by Nazis and KKK Klansmen in an effort to remain free of the totalitarian mindset that they themselves espouse. This journey has been so liberating in this one area – to see up close the result of nearly a century of oppression on a people whose only crime has been to exist. I shall think of Anna often, I’m sure, whenever I feel like complaining.
Our next stop was the apartment of Dostoevsky, another giant of Russian literature from the late 1800’s. Such a contrast this was due to the well-kept, almost sterile environment that has been preserved for public view. Our touring ended with a quick pass through of a nearby public market that, while freezing, was very well stocked. It was then back to our apartment home where Emmi A. was just awakening from her nap. We played together for a while although Emmi A. is still quite wary of me. It was this way with Julian and I know it will pass but for now I would love to have her run to me a big smile and give me a hug and a kiss. Patience and smiles, another chapter in this segue from dark to light—all in good time, my precious, all in good time. Another strange segue for February 5, 1998, too. My sense of time is so interrupted by sleepless nights and unfamiliar light. I’m writing this at 1 AM on Feb. 6th Russia time yet I’m thinking both about the day and the night before. It was a long night, stretching toward 3 AM before sleep finally prevailed. We had spent the evening playing and doing the normal, daily routines of living. The routines are comforting to all for a measure of predictability. But those routines are most pleasurable to me because it’s a quiet time of forced mental inactivity all the while I’m physically active. The feeling of isolation is both hot and cold, too. At 3 AM, finally some privacy. The communication that normally connects me to the outside world doesn’t work here. I’m reduced to a single English phone call once every two days or so when our coordinator in Washington, DC calls in to see how everyone’s doing. But the time has given me a rare gift to enjoy. I wrote a little song for Emmi A, which is now what I’m increasingly using in place of Sasha for her name… “My Emmi A, is the apple of my eye and I just think she’s fine With her pretty little nose and her hair tied up in bows I’m so glad she’s mine Emmi A., I just think she’s fine Emmi A., I’m so glad she’s mine.”
I sang it for her today, early morning on Feb. 5 and she looked at me and I think she understood. I’m becoming more interactively involved in her life as she is in mine. Already I don’t remember and don’t want to even think about life without her. The never-ending time has given me the ability to nurture love and watch the first reactions as it bursts into bloom. It is a marvelous feeling. And now she’ll sit on my lap when I’m reading the paper. I got the paper (ah…news) at the Grand Europe Hotel in downtown St. Petersburg after riding the metro following an accident just as we set off with our driver and Marina, our interpreter, to see two last great cathedrals in the city – St. Issacs and Cathedral of Spilled Blood.
What a day! To start, the driver who began with us, Vasily, disappeared after driving us to the ballet. No one knows (or tells) what happened to him. He drover very fast but he was good, alert and seemed to really pay attention to the snarl of traffic, endless snow and grit-covered roads, navigating it all. Our new driver, unfortunately, was a much more jovial fellow who possessed none of the first driver’s skill or aptitude. Our accident happened because he didn’t look and made an abrupt turn. BAM! A shiny new Opel, with an obviously Russian, no NEW RUSSIAN, businessman replete with cell phone, hit us. The impact was only at 5 mph so the damage to his car was minimal while our driver’s car door was heavily smashed. The businessman flips out his phone, makes a call, and tells our driver it will be $300 for repairs. I know this because our driver asked us, through Marina, to lend him the money to pay the businessman or else he’d have to surrender his license. After the disappearance of our first driver, I was hardly inclined to give this guy $300 on a promise that he’d return the next day to pay us back. So he had to give the guy his license and he then drove us back — a few blocks — to our apartment. He was gone and it left me wondering who might take us along with our luggage to the train station at 11 PM the next evening. Not to fear, we talked Marina into going to see these sights today by Metro and bus. It was amazing. The Metro is very, very deep underground due to the closeness of the River Neva and the generally boggy, low-lying qualities of the land. By deep I mean you descend on a fast-moving escalator down a slope of nearly 25º to a depth of maybe four or five stories of a building. No, make it six or seven stories because the main line of the Metro is seventy feet down. Riding was great and very fast. We emerged close to the St. Issac Cathedral and again we were thunderstruck by the massive beauty of this national treasure. The doors, the marble, the gilt, the mosaics were of a dimension maybe only comparable to St. Peters in Rome. From there, a short bus/trolley ride brought us to Cathedral of Spilled Blood, which is a smaller replica of St. Basil’s in Moscow, but covered floor to ceiling in mosaics of all the saints, icons and deities.
My neck and mouth hurt from looking at the wonder of it all. We bought more books and I realized that the one thing we buy most on our travels are documents to what we’ve seen, especially where photos were forbidden. We returned to our apartment just as Emmi A was awakening from her nap. Perfect timing and secure knowledge that we will make the train to Moscow, even if by Metro, and even if I have to roll the total tonnage down to the station myself. I sang Emmi A her song some more and she started to smile. There’s an old, Russian-made guitar here that plays terribly and won’t stay in tune — with electric bass guitar strings and classical nylon treble strings. It plays like a baseball bat but I could pluck out Emmi A’s song. She’s starting to respond and it’s such a lovely sight that I want to rush headlong yet know I must hold back and let her do it in her time and in her way. Love can be given but then it takes time to be absorbed and maybe returned. Here we have nothing but time and I’m not wasting a minute. Finally, the household is quiet. It’s 2 AM on the day/night of our departure. Everyone’s gone to bed and I have one last opportunity to take advantage of time before succumbing to sleep. Today/tomorrow will be a long one, but the clock is moving forward faster. I only hope I can now slow it some or at least remember forever the sensation that is mine tonight. I love you Emmi A and you, too, Pat! Night, night. Feb 6th—Happy Birthday, Mom!
Looking back now from my perch of completion, I can finally sort out the goings on of the past two days. Our embarking to Moscow from St. Petersburg was an event unlike any other I’d encountered on many travels through many years. We left Mikhail, Irina & son Sergei’s home at 11 PM. It took two trips to the station, one for the luggage and one for us. In the dead of night we arrived at this surreal, very Russian train station. “We’re to take the ‘Red Arrow,’ Tamara our coordinator says to Marina our interpreter.” Marina then tells us, with smiles and obvious displays of ‘don’t worry, very nice.’  We walked and walked our tonnage, past trains that were backed up to the platform, ready to take on or discharge passengers. We found our train car and marched inside to our compartment. Stuffing the suitcases into an area the size of a truck cab on an 18-wheeler proved rather amusing. But with much pulling and prodding, we managed to make enough room to sit upright at the small table by the window. Or we could recline with a little additional shifting. We opened the first of some beer that we smuggled on, past the watchful eyes of our coordinator, interpreter, and host family not to mention the train guard. We had a good toast when they’d all gone. But I’m jumping ahead. After we had everything situated, Tamara abruptly put Emmi A to sleep on the forward bunk. Then she sat down for a speech. “Don’t open the door for anyone. Don’t leave the room except for the bathroom at either end of the car. Don’t talk to anyone. Be careful with your money. And when you get to Moscow, someone will board the train, knock on your door and whisper the password ‘Stella’ so you’ll know it’s all right.” Pat and I looked at each other. She said all this with a straight face. Then she put us through the drill of locking the door. “Show me now,” she commanded. I went through the procedure with such deft speed and dexterity that even Marina smiled while the “General” absolutely glowed.  After final instructions and good wishes, good luck and good god knows what or for how long, they finally left us alone for the first time in 10 days. Just Pat and me and baby made all the company I needed. The simple privacy that I took for granted in the past now rushed on like a new sensation. Our first toast to the more than halfway part of the journey began as the train lurched forward from the station. The sheer excitement of moving was so great that it left me wide-eyed full of youthful exuberance. No way was I going to sleep through this. After our first trip to the bathroom, which was truly clean and nice, we concluded that Tamara might have been exaggerating just a bit. Right! I set off to have a cigarette and just wander around on the train. Smoking is only allowed in a small space between cars that’s cold and drafty. You proceed car to car over a nasty metal ramp that was covered in ice, sliding downward toward the adjoining car. Yeah! Skiing always comes in handy. Instead of finding the Russian mob lurking, or bearded criminals talking in hushed voices while eying me like prey, what I did find were clean compartments with a little Russian lady-guard housed in the forward part of the car. It took four cars to get to the little restaurant and bar area. I went in and bought everyone there a round of vodka and toasted the Russian guards, the train, and all the passengers. A half hour later, I wandered back to our cabin and knocked two times, then three times all the while whispering ‘Stella.’ It became the standing joke. Emmi A had settled down to a fitful state of sleep. Pat and I sat up to gaze across the snow-covered steppes of Russia by moonlight. We raced past pines and rivers, and houses and towns. We talked about everything and nothing until we started fading off. Sleep was strange because my whole body vibrated to the cadence of the train. It felt like one of those quarter-operated vibrating beds at a cheap motel, only amplified by the impact of our speed. Passing trains, going the other way of course, appeared out of nowhere and looked like a carnival amusement park of neon lights and a glowing, pale yellow hues. As fast as this dazzling display appeared it also disappeared into the night leaving only silence in its wake. Feb 7th/8th
Sleep finally did come on the train a few hours before we reached Moscow. It was so hot all night that we’d kept the door open, and we were sitting there contentedly when Natasha, our new Moscow interpreter, knocked on our door. We were spirited away into the city mayhem and taken to our new host family’s home — Nick, Galina, Sushi and Marina. This was some kind of strange family we could tell, but we were so tired that we just smiled and said hi-bye and went to bed. We had three hours to sleep before we needed to be at the American Medical Clinic to get Emmi A’s physical. With that and additional passport photos completed, we were told we could leave Tuesday, not Wednesday as we expected. This one “call from the Governor” as I’ve referred to it really brightened us both up immediately. We called home but only got the answering machine. I left a long, detailed message and said I’d call again at the same time the next day. Finally, things were starting to click into place. Sunday, February 8th was a day off. We reluctantly left Emmi A with Sushi to babysit and then went off for one last shopping trip to GUM in Red Square, this time for a few more gifts for friends and a little looksee for ourselves. There’s just not much here that I care to buy for myself, except fur and then I’d get spray painted back in the States should I ever wear it. Pat found a few milk pitchers to add to her collection. I saw a nice, simple pipe but at $60 didn’t like it that much. So I’ll enjoy the books and ornaments and memories of images so magnificent that wanting anything else seems absurd and pointless. My head still reels from all I’ve seen and heard. I’m getting used to living in this time zone just in time to grind back to home. But I’m not complaining now since we’re getting back one day early. Monday, Feb 9th
We arose early and headed to the American Embassy. The contrast with this trip was remarkable yet almost boring, as if by going through it once with anxiety was all those bureaucrats would ever get from me. So I patiently smiled and sat, smiled and signed, smiled and forked over $300 and sat some more. I raised my right hand and swore if ever…but it was over and that was it. Done. Finale. Finne. Now we only awaited the paperwork but at least our American bureaucratic system works faster. By 5 PM today we were packed and ready. Our plane leaves in the morning at 7 AM so we need to be at the airport by 5 AM but it takes an hour to get there. So be ready to go at 4 AM which means waking up before I’m even used to going to sleep. We’ll be ready. I can’t wait to see Julian and Grandma. Now I’ve got a bud and a sweetie and I couldn’t be a happier guy. Tuesday, Feb 10th Only now as we wing our way toward Zurich can I feel some certainty about what lies ahead. I’m so grateful to be leaving Russia to the Russians and feel that same patriotic fever about eh US that I’ve often felt on trips abroad. The day began early with our rising at 3:30 AM in preparation for our 4:30 AM departure to the Moscow airport. Our translator showed up late with Rudolph, our 70+ year-old driver and car to match. The final hour was one of total anxiety. After stuffing in our luggage, we rode only 20 minutes or so before Rudolph pulled over to the roadside. He wanted to turn off the heater so we’d be more comfortable. That meant raising the hood of the car and fiddling with the heater core cable. We implored our translator that this was not necessary as we could easily open a window (which worked). No, no, it would only take a minute. A full 20 minutes later we were back on the road but we seemed to be taking the scenic route to the airport instead of the expressway loop. Of course, it was pitch black outside so other than the colored lights of the casinos there wasn’t much to look at anyway. The car’s windshield washer didn’t work so seeing anything was a bit of a problem. With a mighty TWACK we hit a huge pothole and then heard the familiar sound of a flat tire. Why me?
At this point I was about to have a major departure from patience and smiles. Natasha, our translator, kept trying to calm us but the scene was anything but comforting. Here were two Americans and a baby along with two Russians and a pitiful wreck of a car. The fact that Rudolph had a spare tire and that it seemed to have air in it brought the frenzied pitch down just a bit. Another 20 minutes to fix and we were on the road again. We were late, but not too bad. The airport was only 20 minutes away we were told. Of course, we were driving blind because the passing cars and trucks would throw up a dirty spray against the windshield that the wiper would then smear over the surface. We chugged and weaved our way around and finally reached the airport. After short good-byes, we were left blissfully alone to get our boarding passes and cue up for passport control. We presented documents and were at last in the international “no man’s land” of the terminal. Only another 45 minutes to go before climbing on that plane and leaving this place for good. Now I could at last relax and await the start of our long journey home. There are no words that can do justice to my feelings of relief. I’ll feel even better after I hug Julian and Grandma from the comfort of my own kitchen.
View Full Obituary

Laurice Mina - Unknown - March 23, 2021

Departed: 03/23/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: Laurice passed away on March 23, 2021. She was predeceased by her husband Anis & son Georges. She is survived by children Therese, Sami, Maria & Eva.
Family & friends are invited to her Funeral Mass on Thursday, March 25, 2021 at 10 am at St. Nicholas the Wonderworker Church, 1492 Spencerport Rd. Burial private in White Haven Memorial Park. Kindly consider donating to the Church in Laurice’s memory. A Mercy Lunch will be offered at Blades Events, 1290 University Ave. following interment.
View Full Obituary

Ethel Gabriel - Unknown - March 23, 2021

Departed: 03/23/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: Formerly of Ridley Park, PA, New York City and Pocono Pines, PA, Ethel peacefully passed away at the age of 99 on March 23, 2021. Ethel was born on November 16, 1921 in Milmont, PA to Charles and Margaret (Nee Horvath) Nagy. She is predeceased by her sisters Mary Nagy, Margaret Mauro, Elizabeth Saxman, Julia Stewart and brother Stephen.
Ethel’s life revolved around music. Ethel played trombone and started her own dance band at the age of 13. They played Glenn Miller arrangements. Her band played for troops at USO functions during off-duty hours. She was a trombonist in the Philadelphia Women's Symphony Orchestra from 1939-40.
She graduated from Temple University in 1943 where she studied music education. Ethel began her employment at RCA Victor while still in school to help pay tuition and living expenses. She also took some music and conducting courses at Columbia University between 1945 and 1948.
Ethel spent most of her career based in New York City but traveled the world through her work with RCA. She was the wife of the late Gus Gabriel, President of Dunhill Publishing Company in NYC.
During her 44-year career at RCA, as Vice President and “A&R” (Artists and repertoire) Producer, Ethel was nominated for a Grammy Award in 1967 and won a 1982 Grammy Award in the Best Historical Album category for The Tommy Dorsey/Frank Sinatra Sessions. She also produced fifteen gold records out of over twenty-five hundred releases to her credit.
In 1997, she was honored by Women in Music Inc. at their Touchstone Awards in New York. She was awarded for being "First A&R Producer in the Industry" and for making a difference in the music industry. In 2014, she was named to the Rochester Music Hall of Fame.
Ethel previously resided in the Poconos region of Pennsylvania before moving to Rochester, New York to be closer to family (Edward & Nancy Mauro, Gates, NY), as she had no children.
The family would like to express their sincere gratitude for the years of outstanding care she received at her Rochester “home”, RPH (Rochester Presbyterian Home) and recently from Dr. Jane Qu and the staff at Highland Hospital.
View Full Obituary

Clara M. Bowler - Unknown - March 06, 2021

Departed: 03/06/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: On March 6, 2021 at the age of 100, she peacefully passed away at home. Predeceased by her husband of 74 years, Sherwood and great grandson Steven Melville.
Survived by children Dennis (Carol) Bowler, Michelle Melville and Patricia Wolfe; grandchildren Lisa (Steve) Banas, Lori Collinge, Brian (Lora) Bowler and David (Heidi) Bowler; 10 great grandchildren, 1 great grandson, nieces and nephews.
Services and interment will be private. A Celebration of Clara's Life will be held at a later date. Kindly consider a donation to March of Dimes in her memory.
View Full Obituary

Linda Anne Scott - Unknown - March 06, 2021

Departed: 03/06/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: On Saturday March 6, 2021 at the age of 74. Survived by son Jeffrey Scott; grandchildren Marisa Scott and Georgios Scott; siblings Charles (Laurie) Scott and Gayle Cook; nephew Michael Scott; honorary son Allen Vogel; her beloved cats and many friends whose souls she touched and became their "mom."
She was lovingly known as the "Cookie Lady" and she was always willing to help the less fortunate.
Friends and family are invited to call Monday, March 15 from 5-7 PM at James R. Gray Funeral Home, 1530 Buffalo Rd. Interment Tuesday March 16, time to be determined, in Mt. Hope Cemetery.
Kindly consider a donation to to Lollypop Farm or American Heart Association in Linda's memory.
View Full Obituary

Ned Eugene Desenberg - September 21, 1927 - March 05, 2021

Departed: 03/05/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: On March 5, 2021, Ned Desenberg passed away peacefully. He was born on September 21, 1927, in Ashland, Ohio to Paul Stanley and Mildred Zimmerman Desenberg. Ned grew up in a very stable and loving home with numerous relatives nearby. He graduated from Ashland High School in 1945 and was accepted to the United States Naval Academy at Annapolis, and the Naval Flight Program. Before entering either, World War II ended, and the flight program was discontinued. Ned diverted to Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, later graduating in June of 1950, from Case University (now Case Western Reserve) with a degree in engineering. Several days later, he married his best friend, soul mate and love of his life, Elizabeth Donley Desenberg (Liz). They met in Junior High, became good friends, dated regularly in high school and were college sweethearts. Ned and Liz went on to raise five children, first in Branford, Connecticut and later when they moved to Rochester in 1971. Ned was briefly an electrical engineer but moved quickly into sales management, initially with Malleable Iron Fittings Company in Branford and then Genecast in Rochester. He was personable, well liked and always treated everyone with the utmost respect. Ned prided himself with knowing the names of most of the workers, many of their wives and even some of the children. He was a friend to all. Ned was a warm and caring husband to Liz and a very active father to his children. He loved golf and served on the Brooklea Country Club Board for many years. He even won the Annual Invitational Tournament in 1992 with his third son Joel as his guest and partner. Much to Liz’s delight, Ned recieved a standing ovation at the awards ceremony. Years later, he was honored with a Brooklea Country Club Lifetime Membership. Though no longer playing golf, in recent years you would often find Ned at the Club on Friday eating lunch and visiting with other members and staff. Several years after the death of Liz in 2004, Ned met RoseMary Anderson, the second love of his life. They became fast and very close friends. They lived across the hall from eachother and Ned used to joke that his sweetie was just 17 steps away. Ned is predeceased by Liz, his parents and his sister Marilyn Blue. He is survived by his five children: David (Lori) Desenberg of Corpus Christi, Texas, Mark (Diane) Desenberg of South Berwick, Maine, Joel Desenberg of Scottsdale, Arizona, Sara (Robert) MacMartin of Liverpool, New York and Amy (Gerry) Hutchison of Hamlin, New York; nine grandchildren and three great-grandchildren. To distill, Ned aced life! Services will be at the convenience of the family.
View Full Obituary

Leo R. Klein - Unknown - March 04, 2021

Departed: 03/04/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: Leo passed away on March 4, 2021, after a short illness, at age 49. He was the father of Riley and Julia; the son of Jack and Chris; the brother of Pam (John) Bartlo; and the uncle of Anna and Eric Bartlo. He was also the grandson of Mary and the late Bobby Lehman and the late Leo and Margaret Klein. Leo is also survived by numerous uncles, aunts, and cousins. Leo loved the Boston Red Sox, Buffalo Bills, and Rochester Knighthawks. He was a season ticket holder for the Knighthawks for many years and had good friends in the “hawk’s nest” cheering section. Leo was quick to offer a helping hand to others and will be missed by many.
A Memorial Mass will be celebrated on May 22 at 10 AM, at The Parish of the Holy Family at 4100 Lyell Rd, Rochester, NY 14606. There will be a gathering to follow at the American Legion Post 330 at 691 Trimmer Rd, Spencerport, NY 14559. Family and friends are all welcome to celebrate a life too short. Flowers gratefully declined. If desired, contributions may be made to an education fund created for Riley and Julia at: https://www.gofundme.com/f/education-fund-for-riley-and-julia-klein?utm_medium=email&utm_source=product&utm_campaign=p_email%2B4803-donation-alert-v5
View Full Obituary

Lena G. Zielinski - Unknown - February 27, 2021

Departed: 02/27/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: Lena G. Zielinski passed away peacefully February 27, 2021 at age 95 in her Rochester, N.Y. home with her loving family caring for her.  She was born on August 28, 1925 in Dauphin, PA.  She was the youngest of 9 children.
She was predeceased by her parents Antonio & Angelina Corrie; her husband of 52 years, Edward M Zielinski; her brothers, Joseph, Quentin, Louie, Isaac, Mark, Mike, Frankie & sister, Mary Mc Knight.  She was also predeceased by her son Elwood and granddaughter Rehan Hall.
She is survived by five children Edward (Ollie), Eric (Danielle), Earl (Ginger), Eliot (Michelle), and Elaine (Forrest) Hall; her grandchildren Eileen, Joey, Elicia, Jonathan, Eliot, Elise, Tyler, Ethan and Erin.  She also had 11 great-grandchildren and one great-great grandchild. Shortly after her birth they moved to Defiance, PA. She lived in Defiance where her father and many of her brothers were coal miners. She attended school here and graduated from Broad Top Township High School in 1943. School was her passion and she was an excellent student.  She was a Baton Majorette in the school band. She was very athletic and played basketball in High school. She continued playing basketball with her children & grandchildren well into her seventies. One of her loving granddaughters said “Grandma, when we get together again in paradise, we will play basketball again. No doubt, you will make us look pathetic as you beat us as usual.”
Following graduation, she moved to Middletown, PA. where she worked in the accounting department of the Army Depot. She met her husband Sgt. Edward M. Zielinski at the depot where she worked. They were married September 5, 1945 in Middletown, PA.
They were optimistic planners and had a dream to start a family business with the savings from Lena and Ed’s GI loan and funds. At a friend’s recommendation, they chose Rochester, NY to begin their business, E-Z Excavating Co. Inc. Through hard work, over the years, their business grew and expanded into many businesses. Even to this day one of the businesses exists, E-Z Mini Storage, which is still family owned and operated.
During the earlier years of their business, Lena was able to pursue a personal dream,  a career in cosmetology.  She graduated Cosmetology School, but due to the growth and demands she was soon swept up in their family business.
In 1951 they began a family, which grew to include 5 sons and 1 daughter. A friend once tagged her as the “spark plug” of her family.  She was a straight shooter, who always said it the way it was; no frills. Her family knew another side of her,  she was open hearted and had a respectful ear, a great listener with unbreakable love for all her family. Her kitchen was open to all and her table the gathering place for family and friends.
To know Lena was to admire a strength which you could only wish to achieve. She was always up to the task. She could always be counted to do more than her part no matter how hard it might be. Her life was a living example for others. She shared her love for Jehovah with all whom she met. The Bible verse that best expresses the life she lived is found at  Ephesians 4:32  “become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another just as God also by Christ freely forgave you.”
A Virtual Memorial (via Zoom or Phone tie-in) will be held on Sunday, March 14, 2021, beginning at 3 PM. All are welcome. If you'd like to attend the Memorial, please contact Danielle Zielinski by email at danielle.zielinski@gmail.com and she will provide you with the link.
View Full Obituary

Michael J. Gilson - Unknown - February 22, 2021

Departed: 02/22/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: Gates: On February 22, 2021. Predeceased by his brother David Gilson, grandfather James Gilson and uncle Christopher Gilson. Survived by mother Lisa Gilson, father R. Paul Gilson, stepmother Carol Richardson-Gilson; sister Sarah (Ben) Lewis; sister-in-law Alicia (Aaron Lesyk) Gilson; siblings Stephen, Robert, Michael, Brianna (Ryan), Ashley, Bianca, and Paulie Jr.; grandmothers Janine Heier and Carol Gilson; niece Sophia; nephew David; uncle Mark (Janine) Williams; aunt Donna (Jeffery) Coriddi; many other aunts, uncles, cousins and extended family.
Friends are invited to call on Monday, March 1, 2021 from 4-6 PM at James R. Gray Funeral Home, 1530 Buffalo Rd. Rochester, NY 14624. Kindly consider a donation to the Humane Society at Lollypop Farm in Michael’s memory.
View Full Obituary

James Gilbert McCutcheon, Jr. - Unknown - February 22, 2021

Departed: 02/22/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: On February 22, 2021, peacefully in his sleep. He has crossed the bar (USCG). Predeceased by his wife Kathleen McCutcheon and parents James G. McCutcheon Sr. & Maude McCutcheon. James is survived by three sons, James Mackmin, Matthew McCutcheon and James McCutcheon V; cousin whom he considered a brother Tommy Wilcox and long-time friend from the USCG David Sac.
James was a loving father, a strong hearted American and a passionate business owner. He was the owner of Letchworth Electrical Contracting until 2005 and K&J Catering from 2007 until 2009. James was proud to serve in the US Coast Guard from 1974 to 1978.
Services and Interment will be private.
View Full Obituary

Dorothy M Vogler - Unknown - February 21, 2021

Departed: 02/21/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: On February 21st, age 97, peacefully. Predeceased by her husband of 66 ½ years Eugene F Sr.; parents Joseph and Elizabeth; son Larry; daughter-in-law Sandy & infant grandson Chad. Survived by her children Donald (Deb VanLare), Janice (Paul) Hawkins, Rita (Bill) Snyder, James (Jeannine), and Eugene, Jr. (Kim); grandchildren Charles (Heather), Scott Hawkins (Daisy), Christopher (Kelly), Jon (Jeannette), Adam, Erin Hawkins (Brian) Sullivan, Michael (fiancé Katie Rose), Eugene III (Kelsey), Joseph, Katie Snyder (Caleb Freitas), Alexandra, Will Snyder, Andrew (Anna), Benjamin Vogler; great-grandchildren Caleb, Morgan, Derrick, Daniel, Abigail, Maeve, Lillian, Owen, Austin & Henry; nieces; nephews & cousins.
She has been a Gates resident since 1928 & a member of Holy Ghost Church since 1946. She was a member of the Country Twirlers and Gates Seniors.  She loved to play Scrabble and Euchre with her children and grandchildren. A special thank you to the Apple Blossom staff at St. Ann’s Cherry Ridge where Dorothy has lived for the last five years.
View Full Obituary

Valeria Varga - Unknown - February 20, 2021

Departed: 02/20/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: Valeria Varga , 84, of Hamlin, passed away February 20, 2021, with her family by her side.
She was born to the late Istvan and Ilona Nagy, April 18th 1936, in Detk, Hungary.
Valeria was married to the late Joseph Varga, and lived most of their lives together in Hamlin. Valeria is survived by two children: Violet Kovacs; Joseph (Lisa) Varga; grandchildren Christopher (Alison) Kovacs, Adrienne Kovacs, Austin Varga; great grandchildren Cameron Kovacs, Ava Kovacs. Valeria was predeceased by her loving husband in 2021.
Valeria was devoted to her faith, family and friends. Her kind loving personality has touched the hearts of everyone who has met her. Her passion was gardening and animals. Valeria praised to God every morning as she woke that she may continue the joy of her passion.  She passed her appreciation of gardening to all her children. Valeria was a beautiful, charismatic loving mother and friend, and leaves behind nothing but beautiful memories. Valeria had a strong will for life but as her health failed, the lord called her to his garden.
Mass will be held on Saturday, March 6, 2021 at 12:30 p.m. at St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Church. The burial will take place at a future date at Lakeside cemetery. In lieu of sending flowers donations may be made in support of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Church and The House of Mercy.
View Full Obituary

Sheila Jean Ryan - Unknown - February 18, 2021

Departed: 02/18/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: Conesus: Sheila passed peacefully on the morning of February 18, 2021 surrounded by her three 3 children. She was just 2 months shy of her 74th birthday. Sheila will be remembered by her children and their spouses, Keith Patrick DeRider of Avon, NY, David Allen DeRider of Conesus, NY and Jeannie Marie DeRider-Harrison of Stanley NY; sister Sharon Cardinale and family; as well as granddaughters Danielle and Kyleigh DeRider and nieces and nephews. Sheila was predeceased by her sisters Colleen Barber and Sandy Ryan and parents Clarence and Evelyn Ryan. Sheila graduated from high school in Rochester, NY and was a stay at home mother to her 3 children and 3 stepchildren.  She always offered a friendly hello and smile to anyone she encountered. The family has chosen to have a private service. A Celebration of life will be an ongoing remembrance through shared memories and conversations. The family would like to express their heart felt gratitude to Dr. Jillian Moore for her kindness and compassion in caring for Mom.
View Full Obituary

Sharon Louise Sellers - Unknown - February 15, 2021

Departed: 02/15/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview:
View Full Obituary

Sandra "Sandy" Kay Herald - Unknown - February 14, 2021

Departed: 02/14/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: Sandra “Sandy” Kay Herald (Stout), 66 passed from this world to the next on February 14, 2021 at the FoltsBrook Rehabilitation Center in Herkimer, New York. She was one of the kindest people that spent time on this earth. She loved her family more than anything and loved to be with them. Her friends, both old and new, meant a great deal to her. She was a school bus driver for Churchville-Chili Central School District for 28 years. She was a Baptist.
She was born August 14, 1954 to Mack H. and Virginia Ruth Stout (nee Thomas) in Phoenix, Arizona.  She attended school in Phoenix and graduated from Washington High School in 1973. She married Bruce Herald on August 22, 1974 in Phoenix and shortly thereafter they moved to Rochester, New York.
She is survived by her children Bridget Diane Herald and Justin Michael Herald of Rochester, New York; sisters Sue (Wayne) Stout Cummins of May, Texas and Nancy (Jonathon) Stout Garrett of Rising Star, Texas; nieces Jenny Martin, Sheila Masters, and Debra Hilton; nephew Ernest Cummins; great-nephews and nieces.
She was preceded in death by her husband Bruce Herald; parents Mack and Virginia Stout; brothers Malcolm and Donald Stout and nephew Donald Yarbrough.
Services are being arranged by James R. Gray Funeral Home in Rochester, New York.
View Full Obituary

John "Jack" "BRD" J Midwick, Jr. - Unknown - February 13, 2021

Departed: 02/13/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: John passed away on February 13, 2021. He was predeceased by parents John and Martha Midwick; 2 infant children, James and Barbara; great-granddaughter Kylie and in-laws Donald and Arlene Nagel. He is survived by his loving wife of 61 years Ellan; children Donna (Robert) Midwick-Hiltz, Gayle Ann Booth, John (Marita) Midwick and Jeffrey Sr. (Shari) Midwick; grandchildren Mark “Milarcus,” (Audrey), Jeffrey “J-Bird,” Amanda “The Commander,” Morgan “Capt. Morgan,” Julia “J-Mart from K-Mart,” Jared “J-Rod,” Casey “Casey Bump,” Taryn “The Terror” and Alyssa “Alyssa from the Bronx”; great-grandchildren Hailey, Caleb and Connor; nieces; nephews and cousins. John was employed by Kodak for 32 years. After retirement he pursued his love of model trains.
Family and friends are invited to call at the James R. Gray Funeral Home, 1530 Buffalo Road on Thursday, February 18, 2021 from 4-7 pm and to his Funeral Mass on Friday, February 19, 2021 at 10am at St. Pius X Church, 3010 Chili Avenue, Rochester, NY 14624. Kindly consider donating to Lifetime Care Hospice in his memory.
View Full Obituary

Kathleen S. Horn - Unknown - February 09, 2021

Departed: 02/09/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: Predeceased by her parents, Everett and Marlene Horn. Survived by her children Wayne (Amy) Spencer, Andrew (Aurora) Aragon, Kristie (Alexander) O'Connell; eight grandchildren; siblings Lynette (Matthew) Ward, Timothy (Lori) Horn-Greenfield, Daniel Horn; nieces, nephews and cousins.
A Celebration of her life will be held on Sunday April 25, 2021 from 11:30 AM to 3 PM at Veterans Memorial Park, 595 Calkins Rd. Rochester, NY 14623. Kindly consider a donation to the American Cancer Society in her memory.
View Full Obituary

James “Hummer” Young - Unknown - February 08, 2021

Departed: 02/08/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: Hummer passed away on February 8, 2021. He was predeceased by his parents John A. & Suzie Klein Young; sister Karen & brother John Young. He is survived by children Ronald S. Young & Kimberly A. Young; grand & great-grandchildren; sister Millicent “Mickey” Mandrino; nieces & nephews. Jim was a U.S. Navy veteran. A service for Hummer & interment will be announced in the spring.
View Full Obituary

Kenneth E. Newton - Unknown - February 08, 2021

Departed: 02/08/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: Kenneth was born in 1928 in Solvay, NY to his parents Myrtle & Basil E. Newton, both of whom preceded him in death. He is also predeceased by his first wife, Ruth Newton. Survived by his wife Annabelle Day; children Marsha Martin and Basil K. Newton; grandchildren Russell Martin, Grace Martin and Benjamin Newton.
Kenneth worked at Salinas Press in Syracuse for 45 years. He was an Veteran of the United States Army, was active in the Chili Lions Club and FASNY.
Services and interment in Woodlawn Cemetery, in Syracuse, NY will be private.
View Full Obituary

Carol A. Rappa - Unknown - February 04, 2021

Departed: 02/04/2021 (Rochester)
Obituary Preview: On February 4, 2021. Predeceased by her husband Charles Rappa and brother Robert Reker. Survived by daughters Kathleen (Robert) Hauck and Linda (Paul) Kasper; grandchildren Jason Hauck, Cory Hauck and Charlie Kasper; great grandchildren Lydia & Kyle Hauck; lifelong friend Doris Ray. Services and interment will be private Kindly consider a charity of your choice in Carol's memory.
View Full Obituary
123Next ›Last »

Personalized Funeral Services

At James R. Gray Funeral Home, every family is treated with dignity and respect. The funeral home offers a range of personalized funeral services, including traditional funerals, cremations, and memorial services. The staff works closely with each family to understand their unique needs and preferences, creating a customized service that honors the life of their loved one.

Facilities and Amenities

The James R. Gray Funeral Home facility is designed to provide a comfortable and peaceful atmosphere for families and friends to gather. The funeral home features a spacious chapel, visitation rooms, and a reception area where families can share memories and celebrate the life of their loved one. Ample parking and wheelchair accessibility ensure that all guests can attend the service with ease.

Pre-Planning Services

Need a Eulogy?
Get a Personalized Professional Eulogy Written For Your Loved One

Writing a eulogy for a loved one you have just lost, can be both challenging and painful. Alongside the pressure of delivering a meaningful tribute in front of other funeral guests.

Let our expert Funeral Speech Writers create a heartfelt & personalized eulogy, that captures the amazing life and memories of your loved one.

Learn more about our Professional Eulogy Writing Service today, and see how we can help you.

James R. Gray Funeral Home understands that planning a funeral can be overwhelming, which is why they offer pre-planning services to help families prepare for the future. By making arrangements in advance, families can ensure that their wishes are respected and alleviate some of the burden on their loved ones during a difficult time.

Cremation Services

For families who choose cremation, James R. Gray Funeral Home offers a range of options to suit their needs. From direct cremation to memorial services with cremation, the funeral home provides a dignified and respectful way to honor the life of a loved one. The staff can also assist with scattering or burial of ashes in a cemetery or other location of choice.

Grief Support and Resources

Losing a loved one can be devastating, and James R. Gray Funeral Home recognizes the importance of supporting families through the grieving process. The funeral home offers grief support groups, counseling services, and online resources to help families cope with their loss and find healing.

Community Involvement

James R. Gray Funeral Home is committed to giving back to the Rochester community. The funeral home participates in local events, supports charitable organizations, and partners with community groups to make a positive impact on the lives of those they serve.

Contact Information

If you're looking for a trusted funeral home in Rochester, NY, consider James R. Gray Funeral Home. You can reach them by phone at [insert phone number], email at [insert email], or visit their website at [insert website]. Their experienced staff is available 24/7 to answer questions, provide guidance, and offer support during a difficult time.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is an obituary?

An obituary is a written notice that announces the death of a person, typically including their name, age, date of birth and death, and a brief biography. It may also include information about their surviving family members, funeral or memorial services, and any charitable donations in lieu of flowers.

Why are obituaries important?

Obituaries serve as a way to inform friends, family, and community members of a person's passing, allowing them to pay their respects and offer condolences. They also provide a sense of closure and help to celebrate the life of the deceased.

Who typically writes an obituary?

In most cases, the obituary is written by the family of the deceased, often with the assistance of a funeral home or obituary writer. In some cases, a close friend or colleague may also write an obituary.

What information should be included in an obituary?

A typical obituary includes the person's name, age, date of birth and death, place of residence, occupation, education, military service, hobbies, and surviving family members. It may also include information about funeral or memorial services, charitable donations, and any other relevant details.

How long should an obituary be?

The length of an obituary can vary depending on the publication and the individual's life story. Typically, an obituary ranges from 100 to 500 words.

What is the difference between an obituary and a death notice?

A death notice is a brief announcement of a person's passing, usually including only the basic facts such as name, age, and date of death. An obituary is a more detailed account of the person's life and legacy.

Where are obituaries typically published?

Obituaries are often published in local newspapers, online obituary websites, funeral home websites, and social media platforms.

How much does it cost to publish an obituary?

The cost of publishing an obituary varies depending on the publication and the length of the obituary. Some online platforms offer free or low-cost options, while traditional newspapers may charge a fee based on the word count or column inches.

Can I write my own obituary?

Yes, it is possible to write your own obituary in advance. This can be a therapeutic exercise that allows you to reflect on your life and legacy. However, it's essential to keep in mind that your family may still need to make changes or additions after your passing.

What is the purpose of including a photo in an obituary?

Including a photo in an obituary helps to personalize the tribute and makes it easier for readers to connect with the person who has passed away. It's often recommended to use a recent photo that accurately represents the person's appearance.

Can I include quotes or poems in an obituary?

Yes, quotes or poems can be a meaningful addition to an obituary. They can provide insight into the person's personality, values, or interests and add a touch of warmth and humanity to the tribute.

How do I submit an obituary to a newspaper?

To submit an obituary to a newspaper, contact the publication's obituary department directly. They will provide guidance on their submission process, including any specific requirements for formatting, word count, and deadlines.

Can I edit an obituary after it has been published?

In most cases, it's not possible to make significant changes to an obituary once it has been published. However, if there are errors or inaccuracies, it's essential to contact the publication or funeral home immediately to request corrections.

What is the role of a funeral home in creating an obituary?

Funeral homes often provide guidance and support in writing an obituary. They may have templates or examples to help families get started and can assist with submitting the obituary to publications.

Can I include humor in an obituary?

Yes, humor can be an appropriate addition to an obituary. A well-placed anecdote or witty remark can help capture the person's personality and bring comfort to those who are grieving.

How do I handle sensitive information in an obituary?

If there are sensitive issues or conflicts within the family, it's essential to approach the writing of the obituary with tact and compassion. Consider consulting with other family members or a trusted advisor to ensure that the tribute is respectful and accurate.

Can I include charitable donations in lieu of flowers in an obituary?

Yes, it's common to include information about charitable donations in lieu of flowers in an obituary. This allows friends and family to make a meaningful contribution in memory of the deceased.

What is the etiquette for responding to condolences expressed through social media?

If someone expresses condolences through social media, it's considerate to respond with a simple "thank you" or acknowledgement. However, it's not necessary to respond individually to every message if you receive a large number of condolences.

Can I create a digital archive of my loved one's obituary?

Yes, many online platforms allow you to create a digital archive of your loved one's obituary. This can be a meaningful way to preserve their memory and share their story with future generations.

How long does it take for an online obituary to be published?

The time it takes for an online obituary to be published varies depending on the platform. Some websites allow for immediate publication, while others may require approval from moderators or administrators before going live.

Yes, many online platforms allow you to include links, photos, videos, or audio clips in an online obituary. This can enhance the tribute and provide additional context about the person's life.

What is the benefit of creating a memorial website for my loved one?

A memorial website provides a dedicated space for friends and family to share memories, photos, and stories about the deceased. It can also serve as a central hub for information about upcoming events or charitable initiatives.

How do I ensure that my loved one's online presence is respected after they pass away?

To ensure that your loved one's online presence is respected after they pass away, consider setting up memorialization options on social media platforms or working with online services that specialize in digital legacy management.

Can I republish an old obituary on social media or online platforms?

Yes, you can republish an old obituary on social media or online platforms as a way to honor your loved one on special occasions such as birthdays or anniversaries.

What is the role of technology in modern-day obituaries?

Technology has revolutionized the way we create and share obituaries. Online platforms offer greater flexibility and reach than traditional print publications, allowing families to share their loved one's story with a wider audience.

How do I balance honesty with sensitivity when writing an obituary?

To balance honesty with sensitivity when writing an obituary, focus on capturing the essence of your loved one's personality and achievements while avoiding unnecessary details that might cause discomfort for others.

Need a Eulogy?
Get a Personalized Professional Eulogy Written For Your Loved One

Writing a eulogy for a loved one you have just lost, can be both challenging and painful. Alongside the pressure of delivering a meaningful tribute in front of other funeral guests.

Let our expert Funeral Speech Writers create a heartfelt & personalized eulogy, that captures the amazing life and memories of your loved one.

Learn more about our Professional Eulogy Writing Service today, and see how we can help you.

author-avatar

About Jeffery Isleworth

Jeffery Isleworth is an experienced eulogy and funeral speech writer who has dedicated his career to helping people honor their loved ones in a meaningful way. With a background in writing and public speaking, Jeffery has a keen eye for detail and a talent for crafting heartfelt and authentic tributes that capture the essence of a person's life. Jeffery's passion for writing eulogies and funeral speeches stems from his belief that everyone deserves to be remembered with dignity and respect. He understands that this can be a challenging time for families and friends, and he strives to make the process as smooth and stress-free as possible. Over the years, Jeffery has helped countless families create beautiful and memorable eulogies and funeral speeches. His clients appreciate his warm and empathetic approach, as well as his ability to capture the essence of their loved one's personality and life story. When he's not writing eulogies and funeral speeches, Jeffery enjoys spending time with his family, reading, and traveling. He believes that life is precious and should be celebrated, and he feels honored to help families do just that through his writing.