Losing a loved one is difficult, and penning the perfect eulogy might seem like an overwhelming task. Understanding the purpose and meaning behind the phrase "survived by" can help ease your burden and allow you to create a heartfelt and personal eulogy. In this blog post, we'll guide you through the importance of including "survived by" in a eulogy, the proper etiquette to follow, and how to easily incorporate it into your speech.
Are you struggling to write a meaningful eulogy during this difficult time? Our professional eulogy writing service can help you honour your loved one in less than 48 hours, with no additional stress. We help you preserve the legacy of a cherished life, in your time of grief. Find out more →
Table of Contents
The Purpose of "Survived By" in a Eulogy
The phrase "survived by" signifies the close family members of the deceased who continue to carry their legacy forward. It serves several purposes, including:
- Acknowledging and honoring the significant people in the deceased's life
- Offering comfort and support to those grieving
- Creating a sense of connection and community among the attendees
- Documenting a family history for future generations
Family Members to Include
While there is no hard and fast rule for who to include in the "survived by" list, traditionally it contains immediate family members and significant others. However, consider the deceased's wishes and their relationship with each person before including them. Typically, the list includes:
- Spouse or partner
- Children
- Parents
- Siblings
- Grandchildren
- Extended family members, when appropriate
Eulogy Etiquette: "Survived By" Protocol
It's essential to approach "survived by" with care and sensitivity. Follow these etiquette tips to ensure you create a respectful and inclusive eulogy.
- Consult with family members to ensure accuracy and avoid misunderstandings.
- Be sensitive towards the feelings of everyone involved, especially in cases of blended families or estranged relationships.
- If the deceased had stepchildren or adopted children, treat them as equal to biological children.
- When listing multiple people in a category (e.g., siblings), mention them in descending order of age.
- Include the first and last name of each person, as not everyone attending the funeral might be familiar with their names.
- Consider each family member's feelings and preferences before including them as "survived by."
Incorporating "Survived By" Into Your Eulogy
Need a Eulogy?
Get a Personalized Professional Eulogy Written For Your Loved One
Integrate "survived by" into your eulogy in a meaningful way. Simple ways to do this include:
- Adding a moment of recognition or a moment of silence for the family members after listing their names.
- Sharing a short story or memory to highlight the relationship between the deceased and their loved ones.
- Mentioning the "survived by" list near the beginning of the eulogy to establish a sense of connection and support among the mourners.
In A Eulogy, What Is Survived By Example:
"[Deceased's name] is survived by their loving spouse, [spouse's name], and their children, [child 1's name], [child 2's name], and [child 3's name]. As we remember [deceased's name]'s impact on our lives, let us also acknowledge the beautiful family they've left behind, who will carry on their legacy. [Deceased's name] had a special bond with each of their children, and we can still see their warmth and love reflected in each of them today."
Frequently Asked Questions
What does "survived by" mean in a eulogy?
"Survived by" in a eulogy refers to the family members and loved ones who are still living after the deceased has passed away. It is a standard phrase used to acknowledge the immediate relatives and close friends who are mourning the loss.
Why is it important to mention who the deceased is survived by?
Mentioning who the deceased is survived by is a way to recognize and honor the relationships that were significant to them. It also provides a sense of continuity, emphasizing that the impact of the deceased's life persists through those they leave behind.
Should you always include a 'survived by' section in a eulogy?
While it is common to include a 'survived by' section, it is not mandatory. The decision should be based on the wishes of the family and the context of the funeral service. In some cases, a more general acknowledgment of loss may be appropriate.
How do you decide which family members to mention?
Typically, you mention immediate family members such as spouses, children, parents, and siblings. You may also include close extended family members, but it is often guided by the closeness of their relationship with the deceased.
In what order should family members be listed?
Family members are usually listed in a specific order starting with the closest relationship first: spouse, children (in order of age), grandchildren, parents, and then siblings. However, every family is different, and the order can be customized to fit specific family dynamics.
Should step-relatives and half-siblings be included?
Yes, step-relatives and half-siblings should be included if they had a meaningful relationship with the deceased. In modern families, these relationships are often as significant as traditional ones.
How detailed should the 'survived by' section be?
The 'survived by' section should provide enough information to identify key relatives without becoming overly detailed. For instance, it may list names and relationships but omit lengthy biographical information unless particularly relevant.
Is it necessary to mention the ages of grandchildren or great-grandchildren?
It is not necessary to mention the ages of grandchildren or great-grandchildren unless it is a specific request by the family or holds particular significance to the legacy of the deceased.
Can friends be included in the 'survived by' section?
Close friends can be included, especially if they were considered as family by the deceased or if they played a significant role in the deceased's life. This is at the discretion of the family preparing the eulogy.
What if the deceased is survived by an ex-spouse?
An ex-spouse might be mentioned if they maintained a good relationship with the deceased or if they co-parent children together. However, this should be discussed with and approved by the family.
How do you address complicated family situations in the 'survived by' section?
Complicated family situations should be handled delicately. Focus on inclusivity and respect the family's wishes. If necessary, use general terms such as "loving family" or "devoted friends" to avoid highlighting sensitive dynamics.
Should pets be mentioned?
If a pet was particularly significant to the deceased, it may be appropriate to mention them. However, this is a personal choice that should reflect the preferences of the family and the nature of the relationship between the deceased and their pet.
What if there are no immediate family members to list?
If there are no immediate family members, you may mention close friends, caretakers, or community members who were important in the deceased’s life. Alternatively, a statement reflecting on the individual's impact beyond personal relationships may be used.
How do you address survivors who predeceased the individual?
Survivors who predeceased the individual are typically not included in the 'survived by' section. However, they may be mentioned separately, often introduced with a phrase like "reunited with" to honor their prior relationship.
Is it appropriate to include the names of deceased family members as a remembrance?
Deceased family members may be mentioned in the eulogy as a tribute to their place in the deceased's heart and life, but generally not in the 'survived by' section, which is reserved for the living.
Can honorary or godparents be included in this section?
Honorary or godparents can be included if their relationship with the deceased was significant and valued. This can serve as a meaningful acknowledgment of non-biological relationships.
How can you personalize the 'survived by' section?
To personalize this section, you can add brief anecdotes or descriptors that capture the essence of the relationship, such as a special nickname or a cherished memory, while still keeping the information succinct.
Are there cultural variations in how 'survived by' is presented?
Yes, there can be significant cultural variations in how 'survived by' is presented. It is essential to consider cultural customs and traditions when preparing a eulogy to ensure that the acknowledgment of survivors is appropriate and respectful.
Is it appropriate to mention survivors who had a strained relationship with the deceased?
This can be a sensitive topic and should be managed according to the family's wishes. If the strained relationship is publicly known, considering its inclusion is important, but if it may cause additional distress, it may be best to use discretion.
How do you balance brevity with the need to acknowledge all survivors?
Brevity can be balanced with inclusivity by listing the most immediate family members individually and then grouping others in categories, such as "nieces, nephews, and cousins," especially if the family is extensive.
Does the 'survived by' section ever appear in obituaries or is it unique to eulogies?
The 'survived by' section is common in both obituaries and eulogies, although the presentation may vary slightly depending on the medium. In both cases, it serves to inform the community of those mourning the loss.
Crafting a eulogy that pays tribute to your loved one and acknowledges those they left behind is a beautiful way to honor their memory. Including "survived by" in the eulogy ensures that loved ones are recognized and supported during this challenging time. With these tips and guidelines in mind, you'll be able to create a heartfelt and meaningful eulogy that accurately honors your loved one. If you found this post helpful, we invite you to explore the other resources and articles available at Eulogy Assistant and share them with others who may be navigating this journey.