How To Writw A Eulogy

Losing a loved one is always difficult, and when you're tasked with writing a eulogy, the challenge of summarising their life and impact on you and others can feel overwhelming. The good news is, you don't have to navigate this process alone. This step-by-step guide will walk you through how to write a heartfelt and uplifting eulogy that honours your loved one's memory.

1. Gather your thoughts and memories

Before starting the writing process, take some time to think about your loved one and the memories you shared. Write down any stand-out moments, accomplishments, or hobbies that defined them. Consult family members and close friends for additional input and stories that you might not know.

2. Choose a theme or focus

Once you've collected memories and information, consider any recurring themes, qualities, or passions that come up. Your eulogy could focus on your loved one's sense of humour, their dedication to family, or their life achievements, among other topics. By choosing a central theme, you'll have a guiding framework for your speech.

3. Begin with an engaging opening

Your eulogy's opening should capture your audience's attention and provide a glimpse into the overall speech. Begin with a quote or short anecdote that encapsulates the person being remembered or the theme you've chosen.

4. Include personal stories and anecdotes

People connect to stories, so share anecdotes that demonstrate your loved one's character and qualities. Include examples that showcase their personality and the impact they had on the people around them. Remember to keep the stories brief and appropriate for the setting.

5. Include a brief biography

To provide context, include a short chronological overview of your loved one's life. This may include their occupation, hobbies, family life, or other significant aspects of their life. Keep the biography brief and focus on the highlights.

6. Offer words of comfort and inspiration

The primary purpose of a eulogy is to comfort those who are grieving. Share any lessons learned from your loved one, or how their example has inspired you. Offer words of encouragement and affirmation for those attending the service, reminding them that their loved one's spirit lives on through their memories and relationships.

7. Finish with gratitude and a farewell

Express gratitude to those who have come to pay their respects and show appreciation for the support provided during this difficult time. Close with a heartfelt farewell to your loved one, acknowledging the void they leave behind while acknowledging the positive impact they made on so many lives.

Tips for delivering your eulogy

• Practice your speech several times before the service, focusing on speaking slowly and clearly
• Bring a printed or digital copy of your eulogy to the service so you don't have to rely on your memory
• Take deep breaths and pause as needed to compose yourself during emotional moments
• Remember that the audience is there to support you, not to critique your speaking abilities
• If you make a mistake or lose your place, simply pause, take a breath, and continue from where you left off

How To Writw A Eulogy Example:

An Example of a Eulogy Opening

"To know John was to love John. From his infectious laughter to his unwavering commitment to his family, John was a man who left a lasting impact on everyone he met. Gathered here today are his loved ones - friends, family members, and colleagues - each with unique memories of a man who truly lived life to the fullest."

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a eulogy?

A eulogy is a speech given at a memorial service that pays tribute to someone who has passed away. It often includes personal stories, reflections, and accomplishments of the deceased, as well as expressions of love and gratitude from the speaker.

Who is typically responsible for writing a eulogy?

The task of writing a eulogy is usually given to someone close to the deceased, such as a family member, close friend, or colleague. It can also be delivered by a professional, such as a clergy member or funeral director, if the family prefers.

How long should a eulogy be?

A eulogy is typically between 5 to 10 minutes long, which roughly equates to about 500-1000 words when written out. However, the length can be adjusted based on the specific circumstances and the format of the memorial service.

What should be included in a eulogy?

A eulogy should include a brief introduction of who you are and your relationship to the deceased, followed by personal stories, qualities of the deceased, their impact on others, and any achievements or contributions made during their life. Concluding with a few words of farewell is also common.

Should a eulogy be solemn or can it be humorous?

The tone of a eulogy can vary and depends on the personality of the deceased and their family's wishes. Humor can be incorporated if it's reflective of the way the person lived their life or the relationship you shared, but it should be balanced with moments of sincerity and respect.

How do I start writing a eulogy?

Begin by collecting thoughts and memories of the deceased. Speak with friends and family to gather stories and insights. Then organize your thoughts, create an outline, and start drafting the speech, starting with an introduction and working through to the conclusion.

Can I include quotes or readings in the eulogy?

Yes, quotes, poems, scriptures, or readings that reflect the beliefs, values, or personality of the deceased can be a beautiful addition to a eulogy. Make sure they are meaningful and relevant to the context of your tribute.

Is it okay to cry while delivering a eulogy?

It is perfectly natural to feel and express emotion while delivering a eulogy. Crying can show your deep connection to and loss of the deceased. However, it's also important to compose yourself enough to clearly deliver your speech.

What if I don't know much about the deceased's life?

If you are chosen to write a eulogy but don't know much about the deceased's life, reach out to those who did know them well. Gather anecdotes, details, and insights from friends and family to help you compose a meaningful tribute.

How can I practice delivering the eulogy?

Practice delivering the eulogy by reading it aloud multiple times. This will help you become familiar with the flow and content of the speech. Practice in front of friends or family for feedback, and time yourself to ensure it fits within the intended duration.

What should I do if I become too overwhelmed to continue while delivering the eulogy?

If you become overwhelmed, pause and take a few deep breaths. It's okay to ask for a moment or to have a backup person prepared to take over if you're unable to continue. The audience will understand as it's an emotional moment for everyone.

Can I write a eulogy even if there will be no formal service?

Yes, a eulogy can be written and shared even if there is no formal service. It can be shared with close friends and family in a private setting, or even written as a personal letter or online tribute to honor the deceased.

How personal should the stories in the eulogy be?

Stories in the eulogy should be personal enough to depict the essence of the deceased and share the impact they made. However, it is also important to respect privacy and avoid sharing overly sensitive or potentially embarrassing information.

Is it better to read from a written eulogy or memorize it?

Whether you choose to read or memorize the eulogy is a personal choice. Reading ensures you won't forget any details or key points, while memorizing can make the delivery more personable. Using note cards with key points can be a helpful compromise.

How do I address different groups (family, friends, coworkers) in the eulogy?

When addressing different groups, acknowledge each by mentioning the unique relationship the deceased had with them. For example, speak about family memories, then mention contributions at work for coworkers, and fun times shared with friends.

Can I ask for help with writing the eulogy?

Of course. Writing a eulogy is a significant task and seeking assistance from others can be helpful. Friends, family, professional writers, or clergy may offer insights and support to craft a fitting tribute.

Should I include the cause of death in the eulogy?

Including the cause of death is discretionary. If it was significant to who the person was or if it could provide closure for the audience, it might be appropriate. However, it is not necessary, and some families may prefer to keep that information private.

How do I end the eulogy?

Ending the eulogy can be done by summarizing the person's life and legacy, expressing a final goodbye or wish for peace, and thanking the audience for coming. You can also end with a poignant quote or statement that encapsulates the person's life or your feelings.

What if I’m not a good public speaker?

If public speaking is not your strength, focus on the love and respect you have for the deceased. Speaking from the heart can be more impactful than a perfect delivery. Also, remember that practice can greatly improve your confidence.

Is it appropriate to make a call to action at the end of a eulogy?

A call to action at the end of a eulogy, such as encouraging donations to a cause dear to the deceased or asking the audience to live out a value important to them, can be appropriate and meaningful. However, ensure it respects the tone of the service and the wishes of the family.

What resources are available if I'm struggling to write a eulogy?

If you're struggling, there are many resources available. Books on grief and eulogy writing, online templates, professional eulogy writers, and funeral professionals can provide support and guidance to help you complete the eulogy.

Writing and delivering a eulogy is a challenging task, but it's also a beautiful opportunity to honour your loved one and share cherished memories with those who loved them most. We hope this guide has provided you with the support and guidance needed to create a moving eulogy that encapsulates your loved one's spirit. If you found this guide helpful, please consider sharing it with others who might find comfort and inspiration in its contents. For more resources on eulogies and other funeral topics, explore additional guides on the Eulogy Assistant website.