Losing a loved one is an emotional and challenging experience. As family and friends gather to celebrate and honour the life that has passed, two crucial components can often be overlooked: the obituary and the eulogy. These serve as special tributes and can provide comfort to all who knew the deceased while also ensuring their legacy lives on. In this guide, we will walk you through the steps on how to write an obituary and eulogy, providing a lasting memory and comforting farewell to your loved one.
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Table of Contents
What is an Obituary?
An obituary is a written announcement of a person's death, typically published in a newspaper or online platform. It provides a brief summary of the deceased's life, highlighting their accomplishments, relationships, and the impact they had on others.
What is a Eulogy?
A eulogy is a speech delivered during a funeral or memorial service, expressing feelings, memories, and tributes to the deceased. While an obituary provides an overview of the person's life, a eulogy offers a heartfelt, personal account of the person's impact on the lives of those who knew them.
How to Write an Obituary
Gather Information
- Full name, age, and date of birth
- Date and place of death
- Family members, both immediate and extended
- Education and employment history
- Important life events and accomplishments
- Community involvement, hobbies, and interests
- Funeral or memorial service details
Organize the Information
Begin the obituary with an introduction, announcing the individual's name, age, and date of passing. Next, provide personal details, including their relationships, employment history, and hobbies. Include funeral or memorial service information to allow those who want to pay their respects to do so. Finally, close the obituary by inviting people to make donations to a chosen charity or organization in honour of the deceased.
How to Write a Eulogy
Reflect and Collect Memories
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Take some time to reflect on the life of your loved one. Speak with family members and friends to gather stories and personal anecdotes that highlight the person's character and achievements. This will help you gain a better understanding of their life and the legacy they leave behind.
Organize Your Thoughts
Create an outline for the eulogy, focusing on the aspects of the person's life that meant the most to you and those in attendance. Organize the information into a logical and easy-to-follow order, such as chronological or topical, to ensure your speech flows smoothly.
Write the Eulogy
Write the speech using a conversational tone, as if you are sharing the stories with close friends and family. Keep it heartfelt, personal, and honest. Use descriptive language to paint a vivid picture of the deceased and the impact they had on the lives of others.
Practice and Edit
Practice delivering the eulogy several times to help you become more comfortable with the content. Edit and revise as needed to ensure your message is clear and concise.
How To Write An Obituary And Eulogy Example:
Sample Obituary
Jane Smith, 67, of Hometown, passed away peacefully on January 1, 2022, surrounded by loved ones. Jane was born on February 14, 1955, to loving parents John and Mary. She attended Hometown High School and went on to graduate from Hometown University with a degree in History. She married her devoted husband, Tom, in 1979, and they shared 42 wonderful years together. Jane is survived by her husband, Tom; her children, Mark (Sarah) and Lisa (Greg); and her cherished grandchildren, Emily, Michael, and Lily.
Jane worked as a dedicated teacher for many years before retiring in 2015. She was active in her community, volunteering at the local library and supporting charitable events. In her spare time, Jane enjoyed reading, gardening, and travelling with her husband.
A celebration of Jane's life will be held at Hometown Funeral Home on January 6, 2022, at 2:00 pm. Instead of flowers, the family requests that donations may be made to the Hometown Library in memory of Jane.
Sample Eulogy
Good afternoon, everyone. My name is David, and I am honoured to stand here today and share my memories of my dear friend, Jane. I have had the privilege of knowing Jane for over 40 years, and during that time, I have witnessed the boundless love, wisdom, and compassion she brought to the lives of those around her.
Jane was not only an incredible friend and confidante, but she was also a loving and dedicated mother, wife, grandmother, and teacher. Through every chapter of her life, Jane's passion for educating and helping others never wavered. She instilled a love for learning in her students and children that will carry on for generations to come.
One of my most treasured memories of Jane was when we went on our annual trip to the local botanical garden. We would walk for hours, admiring the beauty of nature and the friendships we shared...
Frequently Asked Questions
What is an obituary?
An obituary is a notice of a person's death, usually published in newspapers and online platforms. It serves as a formal announcement and typically includes a brief biography of the deceased, information about funeral arrangements, and may also acknowledge significant relationships and accomplishments.
What is a eulogy?
A eulogy is a speech or piece of writing that praises and honors someone who has recently died. It is usually delivered during funeral or memorial services and is meant to celebrate the life and legacy of the deceased, sharing memories and anecdotes with family, friends, and attendees.
Who can write an obituary or eulogy?
Anyone close to the deceased, such as a family member, friend, or colleague, can write an obituary or eulogy. Sometimes, the person who has passed away may have pre-selected an individual or left instructions in their will about who they would like to fulfill this role.
What important details should be included in an obituary?
Important details include the full name of the deceased, date and place of birth, date and cause of death (if desired), a brief summary of their life, highlights of their career or personal achievements, information about the family members they leave behind, funeral service details, and memorial donation suggestions, if any.
How do I begin writing a eulogy?
Start by collecting your thoughts about the person, noting significant memories, qualities, and anecdotes that stand out. You can begin your eulogy with a brief introduction of yourself and your relationship to the deceased, and a personal story or an example that illustrates their character or accomplishments.
How long should an obituary or eulogy be?
Obituaries are typically brief, ranging from a few sentences to a few paragraphs, and are generally shorter than eulogies. An obituary is focused on factual information, while a eulogy can be more detailed, lasting several minutes when delivered aloud.
What tone should I use for an obituary or eulogy?
The tone should be respectful and honoring the person's life. For obituaries, maintain a formal and informative tone, while eulogies can have a more personal and heartfelt tone, often reflecting the speaker's relationship with the deceased.
Should I mention the cause of death in an obituary?
Including the cause of death in an obituary is a personal choice and can be affected by family wishes or cultural norms. It is not necessary and should only be shared if the family is comfortable with it.
Can I include humor in a eulogy?
Yes, humor can be a precious element in a eulogy, as long as it is tasteful and appropriate. Sometimes, sharing a funny story or memory can provide a moment of lightness and celebration of the unique character of the deceased.
Is there a standard format for writing an obituary?
There is no strict standard format, but common elements include the announcement of death, biographical sketch, surviving family members, funeral or memorial service information, and any special messages such as requests for charitable donations in lieu of flowers.
How can I make a eulogy memorable?
To make a eulogy memorable, share specific stories or anecdotes that capture the essence of the deceased's life. Speak from the heart and include details that illustrate their personality, love, kindness, and how they impacted those around them.
Is it acceptable to write an obituary in the first person?
Obituaries are traditionally written in the third person to maintain formality and consistency. However, some modern obituaries are written in the first person to reflect a more personal tone when preferred.
What should I avoid including in a eulogy?
Avoid including anything that might be considered offensive, overly critical, or too intimate details that may not be appropriate for the audience. Focus on celebrating the person's life and the joy they brought to others.
How far in advance should an obituary be published?
Obituaries should ideally be published within a few days after death, which allows friends and the broader community to be informed of the passing and to make arrangements to attend services.
Can obituaries and eulogies be updated or revised?
Obituaries can be updated before final publication if necessary. Eulogies can also be revised prior to delivery, although once delivered, they typically remain as part of the spoken record of the memorial.
Am I allowed to share achievements or whimsical facts in an obituary?
Yes, sharing notable achievements and whimsical facts can offer a fuller picture of the deceased's life and personality, provided they are shared with respect and dignity.
How do I handle conflicting information or family disputes when writing an obituary?
It is essential to communicate with family members and resolve any disagreements before publishing the obituary. Stick to factual information and work toward an agreement that honors the deceased and is respectful to the family.
Where should I submit the obituary once it's written?
You can submit the obituary to local and national newspapers, online memorial sites, and funeral home websites. Consider the reach and the audience when choosing where to publish.
What inspired touches can I add to a eulogy?
Inspired touches can include quotes, poetry, readings, or even songs that were meaningful to the deceased or reflected their philosophy of life. Tailor these elements to truly honor the person's memory.
How can I ensure the obituary is error-free?
Review the obituary several times, have it proofread by family members or friends, and fact-check all details. Ensure names, dates, and locations are correct to avoid any inaccuracies.
Can a eulogy be written if I didn't know the person very well?
Yes, a eulogy can still be written if you did not know the person intimately. Seek out stories and memories from those who were close to the deceased to help paint a picture of their life and impact. Focus on their legacy and the memories they have left behind.
Writing an obituary and eulogy can be a challenging process, but it is also a beautiful opportunity to honour your loved one's life. By following the steps provided in this guide, you will create a heartfelt and meaningful tribute, celebrating their memory and providing comfort to all those in attendance. If you found this guide helpful, please consider sharing it with others who may also be navigating this emotional journey. And for more insight, advice, and resources on crafting the perfect eulogy, be sure to explore the other guides available here on Eulogy Assistant.