Losing a loved one is an emotional and challenging experience, and the responsibility of writing a eulogy or obituary can feel overwhelming. You want to honour your loved one with a meaningful expression of their life, but you may not be sure where to start. This guide will help you navigate the process of crafting a heartfelt and memorable eulogy or obituary that will celebrate the life and legacy of your loved one.
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Table of Contents
- Understanding the Difference Between a Eulogy and an Obituary
- 1. Gather Information
- 2. Reflect on Personal Memories
- 3. Consult with Others
- 4. Organize Your Thoughts
- 5. Write Your Eulogy
- 6. Edit and Practice
- 2. Write the Announcement
- 3. Include a Personal Touch
- 4. Organize and Edit
- Sample Eulogy
- Sample Obituary
- How to Write a Eulogy
- How to Write an Obituary
- Frequently Asked Questions
Understanding the Difference Between a Eulogy and an Obituary
Before you start writing, it's important to know the difference between a eulogy and an obituary.
An obituary is a written announcement of someone's death, typically published in a newspaper or online, and includes basic information about the deceased, such as their age, the date of their passing, family members, and any planned funeral or memorial services.
A eulogy, on the other hand, is a speech given at a funeral or memorial service that pays tribute to the deceased by sharing their life story, memories, and qualities that made them unique.
How to Write a Eulogy
1. Gather Information
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Start by gathering information about the person you are honouring. This could include:
- Biographical information (birth date, hometown, education, work history, etc.)
- Family and relationship details
- Hobbies, interests, and passions
- Milestones and accomplishments
2. Reflect on Personal Memories
Consider your own memories and experiences with the deceased. What stands out to you? What were some of their most admirable traits? What will you miss the most about them?
3. Consult with Others
Speak to family members and friends to gather their stories and perspectives on the deceased. Their input can add depth and richness to the eulogy.
4. Organize Your Thoughts
Begin organizing your thoughts by creating an outline or mind map. This will help you identify which memories, qualities, and stories you'd like to feature in the eulogy.
5. Write Your Eulogy
Use your gathered information and organized thoughts to write your eulogy. Aim for a conversational tone and avoid overly formal language. Keep sentences short and easy to understand.
6. Edit and Practice
Edit your eulogy for grammar, clarity, and flow. Then, practice reading it out loud to ensure a smooth and natural delivery at the service.
How to Write an Obituary
1. Gather Information
Collect information about the deceased, including their full name, age, date of birth, date of death, cause of death (optional), family members, and information about any funeral or memorial services.
2. Write the Announcement
Begin the obituary with the basic announcement of death, followed by a brief biography, family details, and funeral or memorial service details.
3. Include a Personal Touch
Consider adding a personal detail or anecdote that reflects the deceased's personality, achievements, or passions.
4. Organize and Edit
Ensure the obituary is clear, concise, and accurate. Edit for grammar and clarity before submitting it for publication.
How To Write A Eulogy Or Obit Example:
Sample Eulogy
Today, we gather to celebrate the life of Jane Smith, a beloved mother, wife, sister, and friend. Jane was born on January 1, 1980, in Smalltown, USA, and spent her life dedicated to her family and her passion for teaching.
I was fortunate to have known Jane as both a sister and a best friend. Some of my most cherished memories are of our childhood adventures, laughter, and the unbreakable bond we shared.
Throughout her life, Jane was a pillar of strength and compassion. Her work as an elementary school teacher brought joy and inspiration to countless young lives. Not only did she teach her students, but she also taught us all what it means to live with empathy and kindness.
This wisdom stretched beyond the classroom, into the home, as she lovingly raised her two children. Jane's nurturing spirit and devotion to her family will remain as a testament to her extraordinary spirit.
As we honour and remember Jane, let us be inspired by her life and the lessons she taught us. Let us cherish the moments we shared and ensure that her love, kindness, and legacy live on in our actions and our hearts.
Sample Obituary
Jane Smith, 41, of Smalltown, USA, passed away on August 1, 2021, surrounded by her loving family. She was born on January 1, 1980, in Smalltown to John and Mary Doe.
A devoted wife and mother, Jane is survived by her husband, Tom; their children, Sarah and Michael; and her siblings, David and Sue.
Jane was an admired elementary school teacher who touched the lives of her students and colleagues with her caring spirit and dedication.
A memorial service will be held at 10:00 a.m. on August 8, 2021, at Smalltown Community Church, with interment to follow at Smalltown Cemetery.
In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made in Jane's memory to The Children's Education Fund.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a eulogy?
A eulogy is a speech given during a funeral service in honor and remembrance of the deceased. It often includes personal stories, achievements, and expresses the importance of the person within their community and family.
What is an obituary?
An obituary is a written announcement of a person's death, usually published in a newspaper or online. It typically includes a brief account of their life, information on surviving family members, and details about the funeral or memorial services.
Who should write a eulogy or obituary?
Usually, a close family member, friend, or a religious or community leader writes the eulogy. Obituaries can be written by family members or, in some cases, by the newspaper's staff writers.
How long should a eulogy or obituary be?
A eulogy typically lasts between 5 to 10 minutes when spoken. Obituaries length can vary but usually consist of a few paragraphs summarizing the person's life and relevant information about the funeral or memorial service.
What should I include in a eulogy?
A eulogy should include personal anecdotes, the deceased's accomplishments, their positive traits, and how they impacted the lives of others. You might also want to mention their family ties and perhaps read a poem or a passage that was meaningful to them.
How should I start a eulogy?
Start by expressing your emotional connection to the deceased and the significance of the occasion. You could begin with a memorable quote, a fond memory, or by introducing yourself and your relationship to the departed.
What tone should I use for a eulogy?
The tone should be respectful and reflective, often with a mix of solemnity and celebration of the person's life. While it's important to be sincere and earnest, appropriate humor can also be part of a eulogy if it suits the personality of the deceased.
Where can I find inspiration for writing a eulogy?
Inspiration can be found in the deceased's letters, journals, or favorite literature. Speak with friends and family to collect stories and shared experiences. You might also find inspiration from music, art, or religion that was significant to the person.
How personal should I get in a eulogy?
While it's important to share personal stories and reflections in a eulogy, also consider the feelings of others in attendance. Avoid airing personal grievances or overly intimate details that might not be appropriate for the setting.
What should I include in an obituary?
An obituary should include the full name of the deceased, their age, date of passing, a brief overview of their life, accomplishments, surviving family members, details about the funeral services, and where condolences or donations can be made.
Are there different guidelines for an obituary and a death notice?
Yes, an obituary is a more detailed account of a person's life and is often written in narrative form, while a death notice is a shorter, factual announcement of the person's death, including the funeral or service details without an in-depth life history.
How do I handle difficult or sensitive information in a eulogy or obituary?
When dealing with sensitive information, it's important to find a balance. You may choose to omit certain details or address them in a discreet and respectful manner that acknowledges the complexity of a person's life without dwelling on negative aspects.
Can I include humor in a eulogy or obituary?
Yes, if it's done tastefully and respects the deceased's personality and the audience. Humor can provide a sense of relief and show a more complete picture of the individual, but it must be approached with sensitivity.
How do I address the deceased's achievements without sounding boastful?
Focus on the significance of the achievements to the person’s character and life story. Use anecdotes that demonstrate their impact rather than simply listing accolades. Remember to convey your words with modesty and gratitude for their contributions.
What if I don't know much about the deceased's life for an obituary?
Reach out to family, friends, and colleagues of the deceased to gather information. You could also look into public records or other written tributes for details that you can include in the obituary.
Can I mention charitable donations in an obituary?
It is common to include information on preferred charities for donations in memory of the deceased. This can be included at the end of the obituary, specifying the organization's name and possibly a link or address where donations can be sent.
Should a eulogy or obituary include the cause of death?
It is not mandatory to include the cause of death. The decision should be based on the preferences of the family and the wishes of the deceased, if known. When it is included, it can be addressed simply and respectfully.
How can I make a eulogy or obituary feel personal?
Include specific examples or stories that capture the essence of the deceased’s personality and life. Use descriptive language and share sentiments that resonate with the uniqueness of their character.
What are the most important qualities of a touching eulogy?
A touching eulogy comes from the heart and conveys the true essence of the deceased. It should be personal, honest, and articulate the deep sense of loss felt by those left behind while also celebrating the life that was lived.
How do I conclude a eulogy?
Conclude with a final reflection or impactful statement that encapsulates your feelings or the collective sentiment of the audience. It might be a farewell message, a quote, or a brief moment of silence to honor the memory of the deceased.
Is it okay to ask for help when writing a eulogy or obituary?
Yes, it is perfectly okay to ask for help. Writing a eulogy or obituary can be an emotional task, and others can provide support, share memories, and offer feedback on what you’ve written.
How do I ensure the eulogy or obituary honors cultural or religious traditions?
Research and respect the deceased's cultural and religious customs. Consult with family members or experts within the community to ensure that the content of the eulogy or obituary is appropriate and adheres to relevant customs and traditions.
Writing a eulogy or obituary can be a challenging task, but with careful thought and reflection, you can create a heartfelt tribute to your loved one. By focusing on the life they lived, the qualities they possessed, and the impact they made on the lives of others, your words will stand as a lasting testament to their memory. If you found this guide helpful, please share it with others who may be facing the task of writing a eulogy or obituary, and explore our other guides on Eulogy Assistant for additional support and guidance.