How To Make A Eulogy

Losing a loved one is never easy, and it's often complicated further by the responsibility of delivering a eulogy to honour their memory. With so many emotions and memories to process, it can feel overwhelming to sit down and create a meaningful and heartfelt speech that does justice to the person you've lost. That's where we come in – this guide will provide practical advice and guidance to help you craft a personalized eulogy that pays tribute to the life and legacy of your loved one.

1. Begin with a Strong Opening

A great eulogy begins with an engaging opening that captures the attention of your audience. Start by introducing yourself (if necessary) and explaining your relationship to the person being memorialized. Next, try to share a brief memory or anecdote that embodies their spirit and showcases their unique qualities. This will help to set the tone for the rest of your speech and provide context for your audience.

2. Gather Memories and Stories

Eulogies are meant to celebrate the life of your loved one, and there's no better way to do that than by sharing memories and stories. As you prepare, take some time to reflect on your own experiences with your loved one, as well as the stories you've heard from friends and family members. Include a mix of both humorous anecdotes and moving moments that capture the essence of the person they were.

• Reach out to friends and family for stories
• Consider asking others to share a short message or memory during the eulogy
• Don't be afraid to include stories about yourself and how the person has impacted your life

3. Add Quotes, Readings or Poems

Including a well-chosen quote, reading, or poem can add depth and meaning to your eulogy. Consider using a passage from a book, a line from a poem, or even a song lyric that was significant to the person you are honouring. This can provide a powerful way to connect with the audience and provide a frame for your tribute.

4. Speak from the Heart

While writing a eulogy can be a difficult process, it's essential to remember to speak from the heart. Share your genuine feelings about your loved one, as well as your grief and gratitude for the time you shared with them. It's okay to show emotion – after all, a eulogy is a deeply personal tribute.

5. Organize Your Thoughts and Edit Your Speech

After gathering memories, stories, and quotes, take some time to organize your thoughts into a coherent and engaging speech. Begin with a strong opening, followed by individual points or memories, and close with a heartfelt message. Don't forget to edit and polish your speech, ensuring your words are clear, concise, and genuine.

How To Make A Eulogy Example:

Eulogy Example:

Good morning, everyone. My name is John and I am Jennifer's younger brother. Today, I want to share some memories and stories that celebrate the incredible person my sister was – her unwavering kindness, love of adventure, and infectious laughter.

I'll never forget the time she convinced our entire family to go zip-lining on vacation, or the way she would dance around the kitchen while cooking her famous spaghetti. We were truly blessed to have her in our lives, and her memory will live on in the countless lives she touched.

Jennifer often told me, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." And for those of us who had the privilege of knowing her, our lives have been filled with countless breathtaking moments.

As we gather here today to celebrate her life, I want to encourage each of you to carry her spirit with you – to seek out adventure, to laugh often, and to never be afraid to show kindness to others. Thank you for being here today to honour my beautiful sister, Jennifer.

Writing and delivering a eulogy is a challenging task, but by following the tips in this guide, you can create a heartfelt and meaningful tribute to your loved one. Remember to take the time to gather memories, speak from the heart, and focus on celebrating the life and impact of the person you've lost. And, as you move forward, keep their memory alive by sharing stories and continuing to honour the lessons and love they've left behind.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a eulogy?

A eulogy is a speech or piece of writing that pays tribute to a person who has recently passed away. It typically reflects on the life, character, and the impact that the person has had on family, friends, and associates. A eulogy is often delivered at funerals or memorial services as a way to honor the deceased.

Who should deliver a eulogy?

Typically, a close family member or friend delivers the eulogy. However, anyone who was close to the deceased and feels comfortable and compelled to speak can do so. It’s also not uncommon for multiple people to share the task, either by each delivering a separate eulogy or by contributing to one.

How long should a eulogy be?

A eulogy is usually between 5 to 10 minutes long. It's important to speak long enough to honor the deceased adequately, but keeping it concise enough to maintain the audience's attention and respect the schedule of the funeral service.

What should be included in a eulogy?

A eulogy should include an introduction that states your relationship to the deceased, highlights of the person’s life, fond memories, impactful stories, and the person’s legacy. Acknowledge the grief of the audience, and try to offer comfort and inspiration as well.

How do I start writing a eulogy?

Begin by reflecting on your memories and notes about the person’s life. Then, outline the main points you'd like to cover. An effective way to start is by introducing yourself and explaining your relationship to the deceased.

Is it appropriate to include humor in a eulogy?

Yes, if it’s done respectfully and the humor is in good taste. Sharing humorous anecdotes can be a way to celebrate the person’s life and bring some relief to the somber mood of a funeral. However, always consider the audience and cultural expectations.

Should I write out the eulogy completely or just use note cards?

It depends on your comfort level and speaking experience. Writing out the full eulogy can help if emotions overwhelm you during the delivery. Note cards with bullet points can help you maintain a conversational tone and make eye contact with the audience if you are a confident speaker.

What if I get too emotional while delivering the eulogy?

It’s completely normal to become emotional during a eulogy. If this happens, take a moment to pause and collect yourself. The audience understands the emotional difficulty of speaking at such an occasion, and showing emotion is both expected and respected.

How can I practice delivering a eulogy?

Rehearse your speech multiple times in the days leading up to the funeral. Practice in front of a mirror, record yourself, or speak to a compassionate friend or family member to get feedback. This will help you become more familiar with the content and manage your emotions.

Can I use quotes or poetry in the eulogy?

Absolutely. Adding quotes, poems, or religious texts that the deceased loved or that reflect their life and legacy can add a meaningful touch to your eulogy.

How do I end a eulogy?

End your eulogy with a final tribute to the deceased, such as expressing what you will miss about them, your appreciation for their influence on your life, or your hopes for their peace. A concluding thank you to listeners for attending and a statement of love or farewell can also be thoughtful.

Is it okay to mention the cause of death in a eulogy?

This depends on the circumstances and the wishes of the family. In general, it’s best to focus on celebrating the person’s life rather than dwelling on the details of their death, unless the cause of death was a significant part of the person's life story or it serves as an inspiration for the message of the eulogy.

What tone should a eulogy have?

A eulogy should strike a balance between solemnity and celebration. It should be respectful and reverent, yet can also be uplifting, reflecting on positive memories and the deceased’s accomplishments and character.

Is it necessary to mention the person’s shortcomings?

Usually, a eulogy focuses on the positive aspects of a person’s life. If you choose to mention shortcomings, do so with compassion and emphasize how they were part of the person’s human experience. This should be done carefully and with respect for the deceased and their family.

How can I personalize a eulogy?

To personalize a eulogy, include specific anecdotes, characteristics, phrases the person was known for, and their impact on those around them. Speak from the heart about what made the person unique and memorable.

What if I'm not a skilled public speaker?

Even if you are not an experienced speaker, your audience will understand and appreciate the effort. Focus on speaking slowly, clearly, and with sincerity. Remember, the purpose is not to impress but to express your love and respect for the deceased.

Should I rehearse my eulogy with family members?

Rehearsing your eulogy with family members can provide support and help you refine your speech. They can provide you with feedback and additional memories or details you might want to include.

How can I best engage with the audience during the eulogy?

Maintaining eye contact, speaking directly to the audience, and sharing experiences that listeners can relate to can help engage them. It’s also beneficial to project your voice and use appropriate pauses for emphasis and to allow for reflection.

Is it acceptable to refuse to deliver a eulogy if I'm too overcome with grief?

Yes, it is absolutely acceptable. If you feel that you cannot deliver a eulogy due to overwhelming grief, it’s important to communicate this to the funeral organizers so someone else can be prepared to speak in your place. Taking care of yourself is paramount.

What if the deceased didn’t live an exemplary life?

Every life has value and something that can be remembered fondly. Focus on the redeeming qualities and times when the person was happiest or brought joy to others, as well as the lessons learned from the challenges they faced. Everyone has complex narratives, and it's okay to acknowledge this in a compassionate way.

How do I collect information and stories about the deceased?

Start by reflecting on your own experiences with them, then reach out to others who were close to the deceased. This can include family, friends, colleagues, and community members. Gather different perspectives to paint a fuller picture of their life and share a variety of memories.

If you found this article helpful, we invite you to explore other guides on Eulogy Assistant and share this article with those who may also find comfort and guidance in crafting a meaningful eulogy.