How to Write a Eulogy for Your Veteran - Eulogy Examples & Tips

How to Write a Eulogy for Your Veteran - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for someone who served can feel extra heavy and extra important at the same time. You want to honor their service, say something true about the person behind the uniform, and help the people in the room feel less alone. This guide walks you through what to include when you speak, how to mention military service without making the whole speech sound like a citation, and gives examples you can adapt. We explain military terms you might see and include templates you can steal and personalize. Read through, pick a voice that fits the person, and start writing with confidence.

We know how hard that can feel. You are sorting through precious memories, searching for the right words, and trying to hold it together when it is time to speak. It is a lot to carry.

That is why we created a simple step by step eulogy writing guide. It gently walks you through what to include, how to shape your thoughts, and how to feel more prepared when the moment comes. → Find Out More

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about a veteran at a funeral, memorial, graveside service, or celebration of life. Maybe you are a spouse, parent, child, sibling, friend, or comrade in arms. Maybe you want to mention rank, medals, deployments, or a specific unit. Maybe the veteran did not talk much about their time in uniform. There are examples here for proud public service, for quiet service, and for complicated or mixed feelings about a military past.

What is a eulogy for a veteran

A eulogy is a short speech that honors the person who died. A eulogy for a veteran usually includes the person s life story and their military service in a balanced way. It is not an award citation. It should be human and specific. You can note rank, branch of service, key assignments, and medals. You do not need to list every deployment. You can mention service in a way that connects to who the person was outside the uniform.

Terms and acronyms you will see and what they mean

  • VA This stands for the Department of Veterans Affairs. The VA handles benefits, headstones, burial allowances, and other post service support.
  • DD214 This is the Certificate of Release or Discharge from Active Duty. It is the official record of a veteran s service and is often needed to request military honors or burial benefits.
  • Military honors Formal ceremonies provided at funerals for eligible veterans. They often include a flag presentation, a rifle salute, and the playing of taps. The specifics depend on eligibility and available personnel.
  • Taps A short bugle or trumpet melody played at military funerals and memorials. It is a traditional closing to military ceremonies.
  • Flag fold and presentation The folded flag is offered to a next of kin with a few words acknowledging service and gratitude.
  • Causalty assistance The service branch s support office that helps families with burial, benefits, and funeral details. They are a practical resource.

Before you start writing

Getting a few practical things sorted saves stress. These steps help you focus on content instead of logistics.

  • Confirm who asked you to speak Check with the family or the officiant about length and tone. Sometimes the family prefers a very short tribute rather than a longer speech.
  • Ask about military honors If honors are requested confirm who will perform them and how your eulogy fits into the order of service. You may want to mention the honors when you close.
  • Gather service facts Confirm correct rank, full name used in service, branch, key assignments, and dates. If you are unsure about medals or deployments ask a family member for the DD214 or other records.
  • Pick your focus Choose two or three things you want people to remember about the veteran. Fewer points makes a speech stronger.
  • Collect a few short stories Ask friends or unit members for a one line memory each. One to three brief anecdotes is perfect.

Choosing the right tone

Tone is where you decide how you want people to feel when you finish speaking. Veterans funerals often mix pride and grief. Pick a tone that matches the person and the family. Here are common tones and when to use them.

  • Proud and straightforward Use when the veteran was open about service and the family wants the public aspect emphasized.
  • Quiet and personal Use when the veteran was private and you want to focus on who they were at home.
  • Likeable and funny Use small, earned humor if the veteran loved to joke. Avoid anything that sounds flippant.
  • Complex and honest Use when service included trauma or when feelings about the military are mixed. Focus on the person and on healing language.

Structure that works for a veteran s eulogy

Good structure makes a speech easier to follow and easier to deliver. Use this shape and adapt the examples below.

  • Opening Say your name and relationship, and offer one sentence to set the tone.
  • Life and service sketch Give a brief overview of the person s life and military service. Mention branch and rank if appropriate. Keep it readable and human.
  • Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that show character. These should connect service to the person s everyday life where possible.
  • Traits and lessons Summarize what people will remember and what the veteran taught others.
  • Closing End with a simple farewell line or a practical call to action such as supporting a veterans charity or sharing a memory.

Writing the opening

Open with clarity. Naming yourself and your relationship gives context and buys a breath.

Opening examples

  • Hello. My name is Alex and I am Sam s partner. Sam loved the Marine Corps and loved a terrible dad joke in equal measure.
  • Good morning. I am Maria, his daughter. Dad served in the Air Force and taught us to fix things and to be kind to strangers at gas stations.
  • Hi everyone. I am Lieutenant Junior Grade Chris Lane, and I had the honor of serving with Mark in the Navy. Today I will share a few things that capture him outside the uniform.

How to write the life and service sketch

The life sketch is not a resume. Summarize the service in a few clear lines and then link it to the person s life outside the military.

What to include

  • Branch of service and final rank if the family wants that mentioned.
  • Key roles or deployments if they shaped the person s identity.
  • Work or community roles after service if they mattered.
  • Family roles like spouse parent sibling friend.

Short templates you can adapt

  • [Name] served in the United States Army for [number] years and retired as a [rank]. He loved being a mechanic and later worked with veterans to help them find jobs.
  • [Name] joined the Navy at [age]. She served on [ship or unit] and later used her GI Bill to study nursing. She was a mother of two and a friend who would show up with a casserole when you needed it most.

Anecdotes that matter

Stories are what people remember. Pick anecdotes that are specific and short and that connect service to character. Avoid classified or sensitive details.

Examples of short service related memories

  • He would always clean his boots the way he said his sergeant taught him. It became a joke but it also meant he took care of small things well.
  • After every deployment she would bring back postcards for her kids. They were silly messages but they were a promise that she was thinking of home.
  • One winter he drove three hours to help a neighbor move a couch because the neighbor reminded him of a buddy he missed. That is the kind of loyalty he brought from his unit to our street.

Addressing complicated service and trauma

Some veterans carry things that are hard to talk about. You can acknowledge complexity without giving a lecture. Use language that honors the person and validates survivors feelings.

The Essential Guide to Writing a Eulogy

Being asked to give a eulogy is an honour, but it can feel daunting when you are grieving. This guide offers a calm, step by step process so you are not starting from a blank page alone.

You will learn how to:

  • Gather memories with simple prompts.
  • Shape them into a clear structure.
  • Choose wording that sounds like you when read aloud.

What is inside: short outlines, prompts, example eulogies and delivery tips to support you from first notes to final reading.

Perfect for: family, friends and colleagues who want to honour a loved one with sincere, manageable words.

Examples for complicated situations

  • John came home different in some ways. That did not erase the good he did. He also loved his grandchildren and that love was easy to see.
  • Her service included hard days. If she taught us anything it was that you can be both brave and broken and still keep going one day at a time.
  • We did not always understand what she had seen overseas. We do know she found joy in small rituals like making pancakes on Sunday and that is what I will remember.

Using humor the right way

Humor is a relief but it has to be earned. Use short, kind jokes about habits or nicknames. Avoid political or divisive jokes.

Safe humor examples

  • He called his lawn the forward operating base and he defended it with a lawnmower like it was a tank.
  • She had a method for packing that could be categorized as tactical art. We never found socks in her suitcase but we always found snacks.

What to avoid in a veteran s eulogy

  • Avoid classified or sensitive operational details.
  • Avoid political arguments about war or policy. This is not the moment for debate.
  • Avoid long lists of decorations without stories that make them human.
  • Avoid private grievances that will cause unnecessary pain for family or comrades present.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are several complete examples you can personalize. Replace bracketed text with your details.

Example 1: Short and proud two to three minute version

Hello. I am James, his son. My father, Robert, served in the Army for twenty years and retired as a sergeant first class. He loved to tell stories about training that made us roll our eyes and love him more. One memory that captures him is this. After a long day he would sit on the back porch with a thermos of coffee and call three friends he served with just to check in. That loyalty followed him from deployment to retirement. He taught us to keep promises and to fix things right the first time. We will miss his laugh and his careful hands. Thank you for being here to remember him.

Example 2: Medium length for family and friends

Good morning. I am Officer Dana Kim and I had the honor of serving with Laura in the Air Force. Laura was the kind of person who would hand you a spare battery and tell you it was nothing. She served on maintenance crews overseas and came home with a love of old radios and bad science fiction. She also volunteered at the VA hospital on weekends. One story I will never forget is the time she stayed up all night with a new recruit who was homesick and then drove him to meet his family at the airport the next morning. That is who she was. Steady and practical and fierce in small acts of kindness. We will miss her. Please join me in a short moment of silence and then in sharing a memory with the family.

Example 3: Funny and warm for a celebration of life

Hi everyone. I am Nina, his friend since high school. If you knew Pete you know two things. One he loved his Corvette. Two he loved his rules for backyard barbecues which included a strict no cheesy music policy that he broke every time. Pete joined the Navy because he wanted to see the world and he did. He also came home with a recipe for a terrible chowder that he insisted was gourmet. He could tell you a story about a wave that seemed poetic and then tell a joke that made you snort. Celebrate him by telling the worst joke you know and then saving your best for after the service. He would have wanted that.

Example 4: Complicated relationship and honest closure

My name is Aaron. My brother Sam served in the Marines and he carried things home that were heavy. We did not talk easily about those things. Over the last two years we found ways to sit together and watch baseball and to say I love you without making a big production of it. In the same way Sam protected his friends overseas he protected us at home with small acts. He taught me that showing up sometimes means being quiet and present. I am grateful for that. Thank you for being here and for holding him with us.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates as a starting point. Read them out loud and edit to make them sound like you.

Template A: Short and direct

The Essential Guide to Writing a Eulogy

Being asked to give a eulogy is an honour, but it can feel daunting when you are grieving. This guide offers a calm, step by step process so you are not starting from a blank page alone.

You will learn how to:

  • Gather memories with simple prompts.
  • Shape them into a clear structure.
  • Choose wording that sounds like you when read aloud.

What is inside: short outlines, prompts, example eulogies and delivery tips to support you from first notes to final reading.

Perfect for: family, friends and colleagues who want to honour a loved one with sincere, manageable words.

My name is [Your Name] and I am [relationship to veteran]. [Veteran s name] served in the [branch] and retired as [rank] after [number] years. One memory that shows the kind of person they were is [brief story]. They taught us [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here.

Template B: For a private veteran

Hi. I am [Your Name], [relationship]. [Veteran s name] did not talk about everything he or she saw. What I remember is how they [small domestic habit]. After service they [job or volunteer work] and that helped them rebuild their life. If I could say one thing now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C: For a comrade or fellow service member

My name is [Your Name] and I was honored to serve with [Veteran s name]. We were part of [unit or ship]. One night we were [short scene], and it changed how I saw courage. He or she taught me [character trait]. I will carry that forward and I know many of you will too.

Practical tips for delivery

  • Print your speech Use large font and bring a backup copy. Paper is easier to handle if you get emotional.
  • Use short cue cards One or two lines per card keeps you from getting lost.
  • Mark pauses Put a bracket where you expect people to react. Pauses help you breathe and let the room feel the moment.
  • Practice aloud Read it once or twice to a friend or record yourself. That helps your mouth and throat know what to expect.
  • Bring water and tissues Small comforts matter.
  • Coordinate with honors team If military honors are scheduled ask whether you should stand by for the flag presentation or if the officiant will handle it.
  • Speak plainly Clear language travels better than ornate phrasing when emotions are high.

Including military honors and logistics

If the veteran is eligible for military honors ask the funeral director or casualty assistance office to request them. Eligibility usually requires proof of service such as a DD214. Honors may include a flag presentation, a rifle salute, and taps. The number of rifle volleys and the specifics depend on available detail.

Practical steps

  • Find the DD214 or ask a family member where the veteran s service records are kept.
  • Talk with the funeral director about requesting honors. They will contact the branch or local veterans group.
  • If burial at a national cemetery is desired the VA can help with benefits and headstone requests.
  • Ask whether a chaplain or military representative will speak and where the eulogy fits in the order of events.

Recording and sharing the eulogy

Ask the family before posting a recording online. Some families want privacy. If the family approves share it on a private platform or in a closed group and include a brief note about where donations can go if the family has requested that.

Checklist before you step up to speak

  • Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
  • Print your speech with a backup copy.
  • Practice at least twice out loud.
  • Confirm military honors timing with the funeral director.
  • Bring tissues and a bottle of water.
  • Tell a close family member if you might need a moment and arrange a signal in case you need help finishing.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

  • VA Department of Veterans Affairs. Manages benefits and veteran services including burial allowances and headstones.
  • DD214 Certificate of Release or Discharge from Active Duty. Official record of military service.
  • Taps A bugle or trumpet melody played at military funerals and memorials.
  • Flag presentation The folded flag is given to the next of kin by a representative of the armed forces as a token of appreciation for service.
  • Casualty assistance The branch office that helps families with funeral arrangements and benefits after a veteran dies.

Frequently asked questions

How long should a eulogy for a veteran be

Aim for three to seven minutes. That is usually enough time to give a clear life sketch and a couple of meaningful stories. Short and focused is often more powerful than long and unfocused.

Do I have to mention the veteran s rank or medals

Only if the family wants that included. Rank and medals are important for some families and veterans. If you do mention them check the exact wording with a family member or with a service record to avoid mistakes.

How do I request military honors

Ask the funeral director or contact the service branch s casualty assistance office. They will likely request a copy of the DD214 or other proof of service. The funeral director can also help coordinate honor guards or a local veterans group if active duty personnel are not available.

What if the veteran s service was controversial

Focus on the person rather than on politics. You can acknowledge complexity in a respectful way. Speak about values you witnessed and small acts that show character. This keeps the eulogy inclusive for family and friends who have different perspectives.

Can I include a unit or shipmates tribute

Yes. Many families appreciate short remarks from former unit members. If you are organizing multiple speakers coordinate times so the service stays on schedule. You can also collect written memories and present them in a memory book.


The Essential Guide to Writing a Eulogy

Being asked to give a eulogy is an honour, but it can feel daunting when you are grieving. This guide offers a calm, step by step process so you are not starting from a blank page alone.

You will learn how to:

  • Gather memories with simple prompts.
  • Shape them into a clear structure.
  • Choose wording that sounds like you when read aloud.

What is inside: short outlines, prompts, example eulogies and delivery tips to support you from first notes to final reading.

Perfect for: family, friends and colleagues who want to honour a loved one with sincere, manageable words.

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About Jeffery Isleworth

Jeffery Isleworth is an experienced eulogy and funeral speech writer who has dedicated his career to helping people honor their loved ones in a meaningful way. With a background in writing and public speaking, Jeffery has a keen eye for detail and a talent for crafting heartfelt and authentic tributes that capture the essence of a person's life. Jeffery's passion for writing eulogies and funeral speeches stems from his belief that everyone deserves to be remembered with dignity and respect. He understands that this can be a challenging time for families and friends, and he strives to make the process as smooth and stress-free as possible. Over the years, Jeffery has helped countless families create beautiful and memorable eulogies and funeral speeches. His clients appreciate his warm and empathetic approach, as well as his ability to capture the essence of their loved one's personality and life story. When he's not writing eulogies and funeral speeches, Jeffery enjoys spending time with his family, reading, and traveling. He believes that life is precious and should be celebrated, and he feels honored to help families do just that through his writing.