How to Write a Eulogy for Your Third Cousin - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Being asked or deciding to speak about a third cousin can feel odd and unclear. You might be wondering how well you need to know them or how personal your remarks should be. This guide walks you through the etiquette, structure, and tone that work best. You will get real examples you can adapt and fill in the blanks templates. We explain any terms that might be new and give practical advice for saying something meaningful without overstepping.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about a third cousin or who wants to say a few words at a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life. Maybe you were close when you were kids and then drifted apart. Maybe you mostly knew them through family stories. Maybe you represent your branch of the family at a gathering. That is fine. There are short and longer scripts, formal and casual options, and versions that work if your memory of them is limited.

What is a third cousin and what that means for a eulogy

A third cousin is a person who shares great great grandparents with you. In plain terms you and a third cousin have the same set of ancestors three generations back. That makes the relationship real but usually not daily. Because the relationship is more distant you do not need to give a life biography full of intimate detail. Focus on what you do know and on why you are speaking. A short, sincere tribute is often the best choice.

Terms you might see

• Third cousin A relative who shares great great grandparents with you. Family trees can be confusing so when in doubt ask a relative for clarification.
• Order of service The plan for the event listing readings, music, and speakers.
• Celebration of life A less formal ceremony that centers on stories and memories rather than strict ritual.
• Obituary A published notice about the death that lists key facts and service information.
• Officiant The person leading the ceremony. This could be a religious leader, a celebrant, or a family friend.
• Eulogy A speech that honors someone who has died by sharing memories, stories, or reflections.

Do you have to give a eulogy for a third cousin

No. You do not have to give a eulogy just because you are related. Often family members will ask a relative to say a few words because they want representation from different branches of the family. If you are comfortable speaking you can accept. If you are not comfortable you can politely decline and offer a written memory for the family to include in a program or memory book.

How long should your remarks be

Short and focused is better than long and vague. Aim for one to three minutes if you are not very close. That is roughly one to three hundred words. If you have a closer relationship and stories you want to tell, aim for three to five minutes. Coordinate with the family so the program stays on schedule.

Deciding the right tone

Tone matters more than length. For a third cousin keep the tone respectful and personal but not overly intimate unless you were actually close. Choose one of these approaches.

• Representative and warm You are there as family. Share a memory or an impression that represents your branch of the family.
• Brief and factual Offer a short life sketch and a single anecdote or trait.
• Celebratory If the gathering is light and your memory fits, include a small funny story that everyone will recognize as kind.
• Reflective Use a short reading or quote if you do not have a personal story to tell.

Before you start writing

Quick practical checklist before you draft anything.

• Talk to the family Ask what they want you to say and confirm a time limit.
• Get context Find out if the tone should be religious or secular and whether certain topics should be avoided.
• Ask others If you only have a vague memory, ask cousins or the deceased s close friends for a single story or trait to include.
• Decide format Will you read from a script or speak from a few notes?

Structure that works for a short tribute

A simple, reliable structure keeps your remarks grounded. Use this shape.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking.
• Connection Briefly explain how you knew the person or your family connection.
• Life sketch or trait Offer one or two facts or character traits that matter.
• Anecdote or memory Tell one short, specific story or give a concrete example.
• Closing End with a brief farewell, quote, or call to remember in a small way.

How to write the opening

Open simply. People appreciate direct clarity. Start with your name and your relationship. Then add one short sentence that sets the tone. Practice it until it feels comfortable.

Opening examples

• Hello, I am Maya and I am a third cousin of David. I was honored to be asked to say a few words today about how he made family reunions feel like mini holidays.
• Hi, I am Jordan from the Kentucky branch of the family. Although I did not see Anna often, every time we met she remembered my name and asked about my work. That small kindness mattered.
• Good morning, I am Pri and I am part of the Thompson family side. I want to share one quick memory that shows the kind of person Mark was.

What to include if you did not know them well

If your memories are limited you can still say something meaningful. Here are options.

• Repeat a fond story shared by another family member and give credit for it.
• Describe the image that comes to mind when you think of them such as their laugh, a hobby, or a signature outfit.
• Share how the family reacted to them such as how they were known for generosity, a green thumb, or steady presence.
• Offer a short reading, poem, or line of scripture if the family approves.

Anecdotes that work for third cousins

Keep stories short and sensory. Mention one small detail that proves the point you are making.

Short anecdote examples

• At a reunion in 2015, he set up a cornhole board and cheered like he had tickets to a championship game. He treated every win like it meant the world and that made everyone laugh.
• The thing I remember most is her garden. She grew the kind of tomatoes that made you cancel dinner plans because you wanted to eat them fresh with just salt.
• When I called once after moving cities she stayed on the phone as if distance did not exist. That call reminded me that family can stretch without breaking.

Using humor the right way

Light humor can ease tension and make a tribute feel honest. Stick to small, earned jokes and avoid anything that could embarrass. If the audience is large or mixed, keep humor general.

Safe humor examples

• He believed strongly in one thing above all else. Always second helpings of dessert were a moral imperative.
• She was the only person I knew who could balance a plate, a story, and a toddler all at once. She should have had superhero cape but she preferred a sensible cardigan.

What to avoid

• Avoid long, unconnected lists of facts that do not feel personal.
• Avoid gossip or airing private family disagreements.
• Avoid over explaining how distant the relationship was in a way that seems defensive.
• Avoid jokes that single out a private weakness or personal failure.

Examples you can adapt

Example one Short representative tribute about a third cousin

Hello, I am Alex and I am a third cousin of Sara. We did not grow up next door but when family gatherings happened she made them feel like a proper party. Sara loved to host a simple spread and insisted we always try the local pastry even if we were full. That habit was her way of saying life should be savored. I will miss her laugh and the fearless way she welcomed everyone to the table. Thank you for including me today.

Example two One to three minute memory for someone you knew a little

Hi, I am Ben from the Portland Thompson side. I saw Emily mostly at reunions and holidays but once we spent an afternoon fixing bikes for neighborhood kids. She showed up with snacks, wrenches, and more patience than the rest of us combined. That day I saw how she cared for people beyond family lines. That gentle, steady energy is what I will remember. Rest well, Emily.

Example three Slightly longer remembrance for a closer third cousin

Good afternoon, my name is Nora and I grew up next to Chris for several summers while our families visited. Chris had a way of making small things feel important. He would collect rocks and label them with tiny notes like a poet labeling weather. He taught me to notice small details and to celebrate the little discoveries. He was quiet but present and his curiosity was contagious. I am grateful for the summers we shared and for the way he reminded me to look closely. Thank you for letting me share that memory.

Example four For when you do not have a personal memory

Hi, I am Sam. Although I did not know Laura well I have heard stories that show what she meant to others. She was the person who organized the neighborhood potlucks and wrote the best handwritten notes. Those stories reveal someone who paid attention and who made people feel seen. Today we honor that attention and the many small acts that added up to a life lived kindly.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates and edit until they sound like speech you would say out loud.

Template A Short and simple

Hi, I am [Your Name] and I am [their name] third cousin from the [place or family branch]. I saw [Name] at family gatherings and I always remember [one clear detail]. That small thing shows what mattered to them, which was [trait]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you.

Template B For a slightly longer memory

Hello, I am [Your Name]. Although I lived far away from [Name] we had a few memorable visits. One time [short anecdote]. That moment captures [character trait]. It taught me [lesson or reflection]. I am glad to have known them and to be here with family remembering together.

Template C For when you rely on family stories

My name is [Your Name]. I want to share a memory told to me by [relative]. They said [short story repeated]. Hearing that story made me understand that [trait]. Even if I do not have many firsthand memories, I am thankful for the ways [Name] influenced our family.

Delivery tips that actually help

• Write it down Even if you plan to speak from memory, having a printed copy helps when nerves arrive.
• Keep it short One to three minutes is perfect for a third cousin tribute unless the family asks for more.
• Practice out loud Read it once or twice so you know the rhythm and where to pause.
• Use index cards One idea per card makes it easy to find your place if you look up.
• Bring water A small sip calms the throat and buys you a second to breathe if needed.
• Signal for help If you think you might not get through it, arrange a friend or family member to finish with one sentence if needed.

Etiquette and logistics

• Check with the family about content and length before you prepare anything.
• Ask the officiant where to stand and whether there is a microphone.
• If the family wants a printed version for the program offer to email it before the service.
• Respect any requests about privacy or topics to avoid.
• If you are traveling to the service and will speak, confirm arrival time so you can meet with whoever is organizing the order of speakers.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Third cousin Someone who shares great great grandparents with you.
• Order of service The sequence of events during a funeral or memorial.
• Obituary A written notice about the death that typically includes service details.
• Officiant The person leading the ceremony.
• Celebration of life A more casual gathering that focuses on stories and memories.
• RSVP This stands for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond and is used on invitations.

Frequently asked questions

Am I expected to write a long eulogy for a third cousin

No. Most people do not expect a long eulogy from a third cousin. A short one to three minute tribute is usually appropriate unless you were unusually close.

What if I only met them a few times as a child

Share what you remember and give credit to stories you learned from other family members. A short description and a kind observation is enough.

Can I read a poem instead of speaking about personal memories

Yes. A short poem or reading is a great alternative if you do not have personal stories. Check with the family and the officiant first.

Should I mention how we are related if some people might not know

Yes. Briefly stating I am their third cousin from the [place] branch helps people place you in the family and understand your perspective.

How do I bring humor into a short tribute

Use one small, kind anecdote that shows personality. Avoid sarcasm or anything that could be misinterpreted by people who knew them better.

What if I get emotional and cannot finish

Pause and breathe. People will wait. If you cannot continue, a friend or family member can finish with a sentence or two. Arranging this ahead of time helps.