How to Write a Eulogy for Your Step Uncle - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Saying goodbye to a step uncle can feel tricky and important at the same time. Maybe he was the person who taught you how to change a tire, the family friend who always brought the weird snacks, or someone you had a complicated relationship with. This guide gives you clear steps to write a meaningful short speech, multiple real examples you can use and adapt, and practical delivery tips to help you get through it. We explain any terms you might not know and give templates you can fill in to make the words yours.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about a step uncle at a funeral memorial celebration of life or graveside gathering. You might be a niece or nephew who grew up with him or you might have gotten to know him later in life. Maybe he was a mentor or maybe he was a stranger in the room of family. There are examples here for warm tributes funny moments honest and short needs.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a speech honoring someone who has died. It is usually part of a funeral or memorial. It is different from an obituary which is a written notice with basic facts like birth date survivors and service info. A eulogy is personal. It is a story. It does not need to be perfect.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A published notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and funeral arrangements.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial listing readings music and speakers. Think of it as the event program.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. They are often close relatives or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories photos and memories rather than rituals.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort for people nearing the end of life. Hospice care can be provided at home or in a facility.
• Step uncle The spouse of a biological aunt or the uncle of a step parent. He may or may not have been present for childhood events yet he can still be an important person in the family.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. Used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy be

Short focused and honest works best. Aim for three to five minutes which is about four hundred to seven hundred words spoken at a steady pace. If you think you will cry aim shorter. A tightly written two minute tribute can feel more powerful than a rambling ten minute speech.

Before you start writing

Use this quick plan to gather your thoughts and avoid getting stuck.

• Check the time Confirm with the family or the officiant how long you are expected to speak and where your remarks fit in the order of service.
• Choose a tone Decide if the tribute will be reflective celebratory funny or a mix. Verify the tone with close family so it fits the person and the audience.
• Collect memories Ask siblings cousins or friends for one memory each. Small specific stories land better than long lists of facts.
• Pick two or three focus points Choose two or three things you want people to remember about your step uncle. Keep it simple.

Structure that works

A simple shape helps you tell a clear story. Use this structure.

• Opening Say your name and your relationship to the person. Offer one short line that sets the tone.
• Life sketch A quick overview of his life roles like worker hobbyist neighbor or friend. Keep it brief and human.
• Anecdotes One or two short stories that show character. Make them specific sensory and brief.
• Lessons or traits Sum up what people learned from him or what qualities stand out.
• Closing A final goodbye line a quote a short poem excerpt or an invitation for the audience to remember him in a small way.

Writing the opening

The opening is not the place to be clever. Start with your name your relationship and a direct line about why you are speaking. That gives you permission to breathe.

Opening examples

• Hello everyone. My name is Alex and I am Jamie s niece. I want to say a few words about my step uncle Tony and how he made every road trip feel like an adventure.
• Hi I m Pri and I am Mark s nephew. Mark taught me to fix a bike chain and to never trust store bought salsa. I want to share why he mattered to me.
• Good afternoon. I am Sam and I am the step child of Ruth who was married to my uncle Dan. I hope to share one small story that captures who he was.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is a short snapshot not a full biography. Mention key roles and a couple of details that matter for the story you are telling. Avoid listing every job and date unless those details help your point.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] grew up in [place] and later moved to [city]. He worked as [job or role] and loved [hobby such as fishing or woodworking].
• [Name] married [spouse] and was a step uncle to [names or count]. He had a small ritual of [habit] that somehow became a family tradition.

Anecdotes that matter

Stories stick. Pick short stories with a setup an action and a meaning. Aim for sensory detail and a line that ties the story back to character.

Example anecdotes

• On our first camping trip together he taught me to stack firewood like a pro and then told me that life was mostly about keeping the fire going. I still think of that when things feel cold.
• He had a collection of old jackets that he refused to throw away. If you borrowed one he always said keep it and he always knew just when you needed a warm pocket and a pep talk.
• At family dinners he would quietly put a jar of his spicy pickles on the table and watch us dare each other to try them. He loved seeing us laugh and plan our revenge for more heat.

Addressing complicated relationships

Step family relationships can be messy. You can speak honestly while keeping dignity. Acknowledge the complexity without using the eulogy as a place for old fights. If the relationship was distant you can explain that and also name what you appreciated.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My relationship with Paul was not simple. He married into our family when I was a teenager. We had awkward years but later found a quiet friendship that meant a lot to me.
• He was not perfect. He could be blunt and he had his flaws. He also showed up for birthdays and taught me how to change a flat tire which mattered on nights I was alone.
• We did not know each other well at first. Still he made space for me when I visited and that small generosity was everything.

Using humor the right way

Humor can be relief. Use small earned jokes that the audience will understand. Avoid anything that could embarrass the deceased or single out people in the room.

Safe humor examples

• He was the only person I knew who owned seven identical Hawaiian shirts and believed each one had its own personality.
• He treated every family game night like the world series and took losing very seriously which made it impossible not to laugh.

What to avoid in a eulogy for a step uncle

• Avoid long lists of facts without stories to make them human.
• Avoid airing family grievances or private conflicts in public.
• Avoid jokes that single out or shame people who are present.
• Avoid trying to cover too much ground. Short is better than scattered.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples for different tones and lengths. Replace bracketed text with your details.

Example 1 Warm and practical three to four minute version

Hello I am Maya and I am Jonah s niece. Jonah came into our family when I was eleven and he arrived with a toolbox a terrible potted plant and a giant laugh. He worked as an electrician and he loved fixing things almost as much as he loved telling a story about the time a raccoon stole his sandwich.

One small memory that captures him is how he would show up the day before a storm. He checked on the older neighbors fixed loose gutters and then sat with us and taught us how to make the best grilled cheese in under five minutes. He took care of things in quiet ways that made life feel safer.

He taught me to ask for help when I needed it and to never be embarrassed about asking for seconds. His generosity was practical and immediate. We will miss his hands his laugh and the way he made a backyard feel like a safer place. Thank you for being here to hold space for him and for each other.

Example 2 Short modern two minute version

Hi I am Eli and I am Grace s nephew. Grace was the cousin who became our step aunt and she brought a playlist for every holiday and a cookie recipe that never failed. She celebrated small wins and made us feel like they mattered. I will miss her texts that always ended with a gif and the way she convinced us to dance even when we had no rhythm. Thank you for celebrating her with us.

Example 3 Funny and loving celebration of life

Good afternoon I am Javier and I am the step nephew of Lou. Lou had a rule that every vacation required at least one unscheduled detour. If you asked him why he would say because the best memories are in the wrong direction. He also had a suspicious number of novelty socks and a habit of calling every casserole a masterpiece. He made us laugh and he made us better at improvising. Let us remember him by taking one small detour this week even if it is just to get dessert instead of dinner.

Example 4 Honest complicated relationship

My name is Nina. My step uncle Henry and I were not close at first. He married into our family when I was older and at first we felt like polite strangers. Over time he told me stories about his early life and I told him about mine and those stories built a quiet friendship. He was not perfect but he showed up when it mattered. I am grateful for the late night calls and the advice he offered without judgment. That matters more than any perfectly tidy relationship.

Fill in the blank templates

Fill in the blanks and then edit the language to sound like you. Read it out loud and trim anything that feels forced.

Template A Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [step uncle s name] [niece nephew relation]. [Name] grew up in [place] and later worked as [job]. He loved [hobby]. One memory that shows the kind of person he was is [brief story]. He taught me [lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.

Template B For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [name] was complicated. He married into our family when I was [age or life stage]. We did not see eye to eye on everything. Over time we found common ground in [shared interest]. If I could say one thing to him now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C Light and funny with sincerity

Hi I am [Your Name]. To know [name] was to know that he always had a spare chocolate bar and a bad joke ready. He made family gatherings feel like comedy hour and somehow made everyone feel invited to laugh. My favorite memory is [funny brief story]. I will miss his jokes and his habit of fixing the unfixable with duct tape and optimism. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to manage than a phone when emotions run high.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines on each card reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put a visible mark where you want to breathe or where you expect laughter. Pauses give you a reset.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend to get a sense of timing and to make sure jokes land.
• Bring tissues and water Keep a glass of water nearby and a tissue in your pocket.
• Ask for backup If you think you might not finish ask a friend or family member to be ready to step in and finish one sentence for you.
• Mic basics Hold the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If there is no mic lean forward slightly and project to the back of the room.

When you want to cry while reading

Tears are normal. Pause and breathe. Look at your notes and continue when you are ready. If your voice breaks slow down and say fewer words more slowly. The room will give you time. If you need to stop ask your backup to finish a line for you. People will understand.

How to include readings poems and music

Short readings work best. Choose a two to four line excerpt or a short poem instead of long works. If you include a poem test it out loud and make sure it fits the tone. For music ask the venue ahead of time if recorded tracks can be played or if someone can perform live. Place music where it supports a moment such as after a powerful line or before the eulogy to set the mood.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director or venue coordinator if you need a microphone or a projector for photos.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they need it for the program.

Sharing the eulogy afterward

People often want a copy. Offer to email your text or add it to a memory book. Ask permission from family before posting audio or video online. If the family approves upload to a private link and share it with those who could not attend.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with family or officiant.
• Print your speech and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark emotional beats and pauses in your copy.
• Bring tissues and water.
• Arrange a signal with a family member who can finish for you if needed.

Glossary of useful terms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering focusing on stories photos and memories.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life.
• Step uncle A man who becomes an uncle through marriage rather than by blood. He may be the spouse of a biological aunt or the brother of a step parent.
• RSVP Short for respond s il vous plait meaning please respond. Used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin by saying your name and your relationship to the person. A simple line like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Name] niece gives context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause breathe and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue ask a designated family member or friend to finish for you. Have a very short closing line printed for them so they can pick up easily.

Should I include family dynamics in the eulogy

You can mention complicated feelings in a respectful way. Acknowledge complexity and choose one honest point to share. The eulogy is not the place to settle old scores. Focus on a memory or a lesson you genuinely want people to remember.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes small earned humor can bring relief. Use anecdotes that illustrate character and test jokes with a trusted friend. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset those in the room.

How do I involve children in a eulogy

If children want to participate keep their part very short and simple. A child can hold a photo read one sentence or light a candle. Practice with them once so they feel comfortable and plan an adult to guide them on stage.

How long should my eulogy be

Three to five minutes is a good target. If multiple people will speak coordinate times so the service stays within the planned schedule.

What if the step uncle was not close to the family

You can still speak about the ways he mattered. If you were not close say that honestly and then name one small thing you noticed or appreciated. Even a short honest line can be meaningful.

Is it okay to read the eulogy from my phone

Yes but make sure the screen is bright enough and the device will not ring. Many people prefer printed notes because they are easier to handle when emotions run high.

Should I give a copy of my eulogy to the funeral home or officiant

Yes provide a copy so the officiant can stay on schedule and so the text can be included in a program or memory book if the family wants that.