How to Write a Eulogy for Your Step Grandparent - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for a step grandparent can feel complicated and important at the same time. You may be wondering whether you can call them grandparent, how to honor a relationship that was earned later in life, and how to say something honest and kind in front of family. This guide walks you through simple structure, clear examples you can adapt, and delivery tips that actually help. We explain terms you might not know and give ready to use templates for different tones.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about a step grandparent at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service. You might be a step child, a biological grandchild who had a close bond, or someone who became like a grandchild through long friendship. Maybe the relationship was messy. That is okay. There are examples for tender, funny, brief, and complicated situations.

What is a eulogy for a step grandparent

A eulogy is a short speech that honors and remembers someone who has died. A eulogy for a step grandparent focuses on the relationship you had with them and the moments that show who they were to you. It is not a legal statement about family ties. It is a personal story about what they meant in your life.

Terms you might see

• Step grandparent A person who became a grandparent to you through marriage rather than biological connection. They may be called grandma or grandpa or by their first name depending on family preference.
• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honour the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death that often includes biographical details and service arrangements.
• Order of service The schedule for the funeral or memorial listing readings, music, and speakers. Think of it as the event program.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memories rather than ritual.
• Hospice Care that prioritises comfort and quality of life at the end of life. Hospice can happen at home or in a facility.

How long should your eulogy be

Keep it short and true. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is usually about four hundred to eight hundred spoken words. A focused, honest tribute will feel more powerful than a long unfocused monologue. If multiple people are speaking, coordinate so the event runs on time.

Before you start writing

Set up some quick ground rules before you begin. These steps make the process less emotional and more useful.

• Check with family or the officiant about time Confirm how long you can speak and where you fit in the order of service.
• Decide what name to use Ask the family whether to use grandma, grandpa, a nickname, or their first name. Use what feels respectful and accurate.
• Pick a tone Do you want your tribute to be tender, funny, formal, or a mix? Check with close relatives so the tone fits the crowd and the person.
• Collect memories Ask siblings, cousins, and friends for one memory each. Small stories beat long lists of achievements.
• Choose three focus points Pick three things you want people to remember. Three points give structure without pressure.

Simple structure that works

Use a small shape to hold your words. This makes writing and delivering easier.

• Opening Say who you are and your relationship to the step grandparent. One sentence sets the stage.
• Life sketch Offer a brief overview of who they were. Focus on roles and traits rather than a resume.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that show character. Keep them specific and with a clear point.
• What they taught you Summarise a few lessons, habits, or ways they made life better.
• Closing End with a short goodbye line, quote, or invitation for the audience to remember or share a story.

Writing the opening

Open with something simple. Name yourself and your relationship. Then say one clear sentence about what the day means.

Opening examples

• Hi everyone. I am Maya and I was lucky enough to have Tom as my step grandpa. He taught me how to make the best grilled cheese and how to be stubborn about the little things that matter.
• Hello. I am James and I am Eleanor s step grandson. Today we remember how she made Sunday dinners feel like a hug.
• Good afternoon. My name is Pri and I called Linda by her first name because she insisted. She was my step grandma and also my friend.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for the story you want to tell. Mention roles like spouse, veteran, gardener, community volunteer, or baker. Dates are optional.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place]. They worked as [job] and later enjoyed [hobby]. They loved being a grandparent and always had time for a story or a game.
• [Name] moved to [city] in their twenties. They volunteered at [place] and were known for [quirky habit]. They married [spouse] and together they built a life filled with music and Sunday walks.

Anecdotes that make the person real

Stories capture character. Aim for sensory details and a small payoff. Keep each story to three short paragraphs or less.

Short anecdote examples

• When I was seven, step grandpa taught me to fish. He had a bag of lures and a rule that if you caught nothing, you still had to tell a story. We did not catch much but we left with the best stories in town.
• She made lemon bars for every occasion and labelled them with ridiculous names. If you saw a lemon bar called tiny sunshine you knew it was hers.
• On holidays, he would hide a small toy for the kids and then act like he had never seen it. He loved the performance nearly as much as the applause.

Addressing complicated or late forming relationships

Not all relationships with a step grandparent start early. You can still speak honestly and warmly about an adult friendship that became family. Mention the truth without oversharing and focus on what you gained.

Examples for complex relationships

• We did not always know each other when I was a kid. When my mom remarried, it took time. By the time I was an adult we had built a friendship based on coffee, bad puns, and a shared love of crossword puzzles. I am grateful for that late found kinship.
• Our relationship was quiet. He showed love by fixing things and showing up. That steady presence mattered more than words.
• She could be blunt and sometimes that hurt. She also taught me to speak my mind and to stand up for people who needed someone. I think she would be proud of that.

Using humor appropriately

Humor can help people breathe. Use small, earned jokes that reveal character. Avoid anything that could embarrass someone present or make a private detail public.

Safe humor examples

• He had two speeds when driving, slow and slow with commentary. We learned to enjoy both.
• She labelled everything in her kitchen. If you did not know where the cookie jar belonged you could ask the label. We called it self explanatory kindness.

What to avoid in your eulogy

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a family argument or therapy session.
• Avoid private grievances that will shock or hurt people in the room.
• Avoid long inventories of achievements without stories that make the person human.
• Avoid using complicated legal language about family roles. Focus on emotional truth instead.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples for different tones. Replace bracketed items with your details.

Example 1: Tender and short three to four minutes

Hi. I am Sam and I am Eva s step grandson. Eva moved into our lives when my mom remarried. At first she was the person who brought extra cookies and later she became the person who listened when I needed to talk. She had a way of making ordinary days feel like an event by turning tea into ceremony. One memory that stays with me is when she taught me to knit. My first scarf looked like a sad caterpillar but she wore it proudly anyway. She taught me patience and presence by example. We will miss her voice on the phone and the way she could make any room feel warmer. Thank you for being here to remember her with us.

Example 2: Light and funny one to two minutes

Hello. I am Marcus and I called him grandpa even though he called me by my full name whenever he was proud of me. Grandpa loved crossword puzzles and bad detective shows. If you needed a hint he would give you the most dramatic answer and then sigh like he had solved a crime. He also believed firmly that pineapple belonged on pizza which was the greatest argument of the last decade. He made us laugh and he made us think. We will miss his commentary and his laugh. Please share a silly story after and keep his sense of humour alive.

Example 3: Complicated relationship with respect

My name is Lena. I did not grow up calling her grandma. She arrived later when my mother remarried. Our relationship was awkward sometimes. We did not get everything right. What we did find was honesty and a shared love of gardening. In the last years she and I found a rhythm of making soup and talking about small things. She taught me that families can be made by choice and by showing up. I am grateful for that choice. Thank you.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates as a starting point. Swap the brackets and read aloud to see what feels natural.

Template A Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [step grandparent s name] [step grandson step granddaughter grandchild]. [Name] loved [hobby or habit]. They worked as [job or role] and later spent time [hobby]. One memory that shows who they were is [brief story]. They taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and holding their memory with us.

Template B For relationships that started later

Hi. I am [Your Name]. [Name] came into my life when [context]. We did not always know each other but over time we became close because of [shared interest]. My favourite memory is [short story]. If I could say one thing to them now it would be [short line].

Template C Light and funny with sincerity

Hey everyone. I am [Your Name]. To know [Name] was to know [quirky habit]. They also made sure we learned [life skill]. My favourite memory is [funny story]. Even their jokes had work to do. They made us laugh and they made rules about where socks go. I will miss that. Thank you for celebrating them with us.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These practical tactics keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font and a backup copy. Paper is easier to handle than a small phone screen when you are emotional.
• Use cue cards Index cards with one or two lines each help you keep place and reduce stress.
• Mark pauses Put a small mark where you want to breathe or where others might laugh. Pauses give you room to breathe and the audience time to react.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a trusted friend or alone. Hearing your words helps your throat and your emotions get ready.
• Bring tissues and water These small comforts help when your voice gets shaky.
• Arrange support If you think you may not finish, ask someone to be ready to step in and finish the last line for you.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth. Speak slowly and project. If there is no mic, slow down and speak to the back row.

When you think you will cry while reading

Tears are normal. If you pause, breathe, swallow, and continue. If your voice breaks, slow down and say fewer words with more meaning. The audience expects emotion. Your honesty is part of the tribute.

How to include readings, poems, or music

Short excerpts work best. Choose a two to four line poem or a few lines of a favorite song. Confirm with the officiant if any readings are appropriate and provide printed text in the program. Music can be live or recorded. Place it before the eulogy, as a short interlude, or after a meaningful line.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or if you want to hand out printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Provide a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service so they can include it in the program or memory book if desired.

After the eulogy

People will likely want a copy. Offer to email it to family and friends. Some families include the eulogy in a printed program or a memory book. You can also record the audio privately and share it with people who could not attend. Ask permission before posting recordings online because some families prefer privacy.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with family or officiant.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a glass of water if allowed.
• Tell a trusted family member you might need a moment and arrange a signal if you want them to finish a final line.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honour and remember the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death and usually including service details and biographical facts.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing readings, music, and speakers.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories and photos rather than ritual.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life when someone is nearing the end of life.
• RSVP Abbreviation for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

Can I call them grandparent if they were my step grandparent

Yes. Use the name that feels respectful and reflects your relationship. Some people prefer grandma or grandpa. Others prefer a first name or a unique nickname. Ask family first if you are unsure.

What if our relationship was late forming or complicated

Be honest without airing private conflicts. Acknowledge complexity and focus on what you learned or the moments that mattered. Short, sincere memories often carry more weight than long explanations.

How do I handle family members who had different relationships

Keep your tribute personal. You do not have to speak for everyone. If you worry about upsetting someone, check with a close relative or the officiant before you deliver certain stories.

Should I include legal family details in an eulogy

No. A eulogy is about relationship and memory rather than legal ties. Mention family members by name if it makes sense, but focus on who the person was rather than legal statuses.

How can I write something quick if I have little time

Focus on one memory, one trait, and one thank you. Start with your name and relationship, tell a short story, say one thing they taught you, and end with a simple goodbye line. That structure is quick and effective.

Can I use humour in a eulogy for a step grandparent

Yes. Small, kind humour helps people breathe. Use stories that reveal character and avoid jokes that single out or embarrass people present.