How to Write a Eulogy for Your Step Cousin - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for a step cousin can feel oddly specific and surprisingly heavy. You might not have grown up under the same roof, but you shared family holidays, inside jokes, or that one cousin who always showed up with snacks. This guide helps you find the right tone, organize your thoughts, and give real examples and templates you can adapt. We explain any terms you might not know and give delivery tips that actually work. Read through, pick a template, and start writing with confidence.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about a step cousin at a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life. Maybe you were the cousin who grew up closest to them. Maybe your relationship was newer. Maybe you felt second fiddled but also deeply connected. All of that is valid. You will find short and longer examples, options for funny or serious tones, and templates you can personalize.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It usually appears at a funeral or memorial. It is different from an obituary. An obituary is a written notice with basic facts and service details. A eulogy is personal. It shares memories, feelings, and small stories that make a person feel human.

Terms and acronyms explained

• Obituary A published notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and service information.
• Order of service The schedule for the funeral or memorial that lists readings, music, and speakers.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering focused on stories, photos, and remembering the person.
• Officiant The person leading the service. This might be a religious leader, a celebrant, or a family friend.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort for someone near the end of life. It can take place at home or in a care facility.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and clear wins. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is usually 400 to 800 spoken words. If multiple people are speaking, check with the family or officiant about time. A concise, honest tribute often lands harder than a long, unfocused talk.

Before you start writing

Take a breath. Then follow this plan.

• Confirm logistics Ask the family or officiant how long you can speak and where you will stand.
• Choose your tone Do you want this to be serious, funny, or a mix? Think about the personality of your step cousin and what would feel true to them.
• Gather memories Ask close relatives and friends for one memory each. Small concrete stories matter more than long lists of traits.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about them. Three is easy to hold and gives structure.

Structure that works

Use a simple shape. It helps both you and your listeners.

• Opening Say your name and your relationship to the person. Offer one line that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview such as where they were from, jobs they held, and roles in the family.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific.
• Lessons and traits Say what you learned from them or what others will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short quote, or an invitation to remember a small ritual like raising a glass or sharing one memory.

How to approach a step cousin eulogy differently

A step cousin relationship can carry special layers. You might be close by choice rather than biology. You may have joined the family later. You may have different memories for different people. That is okay. Be honest about the nature of your relationship. Explain how you knew them and what your connection looked like. Clarity helps the audience feel included and prevents awkward assumptions.

Ideas for openings

• Hi. I am Maya and I was lucky to have Raj as my step cousin. He taught me how to fix a bike chain and how to make terrible jokes feel like gold.
• Hello. My name is Aaron and I am Lila s cousin through my aunt s marriage. I was not in her life from the start but she made me feel welcome from day one.
• Good afternoon. I am Zoe. We were step cousins but we were friends who texted each other weird memes at three in the morning.

Writing the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter to the story you are telling. Mention where they were from, jobs they loved, and family roles. Avoid a long list of resume bullet points. Tell one or two details that set the scene.

Life sketch template ideas

• [Name] grew up in [place] and later moved to [place]. They worked as a [job] and in their free time loved [hobby].
• [Name] joined our family when [family event]. They quickly became known for [quirk or trait].

Anecdotes that actually work

Stories stick. Pick one that has a small setup and a payoff. Sensory details help. A good story can be two to four sentences long. It should end with why it mattered.

Short anecdote examples

• When we were teenagers, Sam organized a road trip that was mostly a playlist and bad directions. We got lost and ended up at a late night diner where he convinced the waitress to teach us how to make perfect pancakes. That is how he turned mistakes into memories.
• At holiday dinners, Nina always brought a salad no one wanted and a dessert everyone fought over. She would laugh and say the secret was too much sugar and too much love.
• Every time I called in for relationship advice, Omar would answer with a long pause and a single helpful question. He taught me the power of listening before speaking.

How to handle complex relationships

Step family ties can include awkwardness or distance. If your relationship was complicated, you can still be honest without being cruel. Acknowledge complexity and offer a line about growth, differences, or the special things that mattered despite difficulty.

Examples for complex relationships

• We did not grow up in the same house and sometimes it felt like we were strangers. Still, in the last few years we texted every Friday and that small ritual meant everything to me.
• Our relationship was messy at times. We argued over boundaries and then learned to respect them. I am grateful for the things we fixed and for the ways we showed up for each other in the end.

Using humor that lands

Humor can breathe life into grief. Use short, earned jokes that reveal personality. Avoid anything that feels mean or that could single out someone in pain. Test your jokes on a trusted friend if you can.

Safe humor examples

• He was the only person I knew who could treat a barbecue like a national emergency and still be three hours late to it.
• She had a talent for turning bad puns into complicated family rights of passage.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Do not use the eulogy as a platform to settle family disputes.
• Do not share private details that would embarrass the deceased or cause harm to family members.
• Avoid long lists of achievements without stories to humanize them.
• Do not try to be someone you are not. Authenticity matters more than polish.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples formatted for different tones and lengths. Replace bracketed text with your details. Read them out loud and trim anything that feels forced.

Example 1: Short and sincere, two to three minute version

Hello. I am Olivia and I was Jonah s step cousin. Jonah was the kind of person who noticed the small things. He would bring an extra charger without being asked and remember the name of the barista even after one visit. He loved thrift store records and late night walks where he would explain why every city needs a corner coffee shop.

One memory that says everything about him is a time he insisted on driving my car seat home after I borrowed it. He said I should not worry about it and then spent an hour fixing a squeak he heard the week before. That is who he was. Quietly helpful and oddly particular about squeaks.

We will miss his thoughtful texts and his terrible impressions. Thank you for being here to remember Jonah and to share a small kindness he would have liked.

Example 2: Celebration of life tone with humor, three to five minutes

Hi everyone. I am Max and I was lucky to be Luca s step cousin and partner in crime. Luca believed in three rules. Rule one was show up. Rule two was bring snacks. Rule three was make sure the speaker has backup jokes when their playlist fails. He could make you laugh at the worst possible time and that talent made our awkward family gatherings feel like a party.

One year on the beach he attempted a dramatic bonfire that was mostly smoke and optimism. We all pretended it was fine while his hat slowly steamed. That hat still smells like victory in my memory. He taught us to enjoy the moment even when the fire would not cooperate.

Thanks for being here and for carrying a piece of Luca forward. If you have a silly memory of him please share it with someone who needs a laugh today.

Example 3: Honest, complicated relationship, three to four minutes

My name is Pri and my relationship with Jenna was complicated. We were step cousins who only met when our families blended and yet she somehow became the person I trusted with bad dating stories. We did not always agree. We argued about music and the proper technique for folding fitted sheets. But in the end she was the person who called when I needed reality checks and who forgave me when I forgot birthdays.

In her last months she taught me patience. She taught me that small rituals matter because they are how we show up when things are hard. I am grateful for the chances we had to be kind to each other in those times.

Thank you for being here and for honoring Jenna with your time and your memories.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these to quickly get a draft down. Edit until it sounds like you.

Template A: Classic short

Hi. I am [Your Name] and I was [Name] s step cousin. [Name] grew up in [place] and was known for [trait]. One memory I will always keep is [brief story]. They taught me [lesson]. Thank you for being here to remember them.

Template B: For closer step cousins

Hello. I am [Your Name]. Even though we were step cousins, [Name] was a true friend. We did [shared activity] together and never missed a chance to [inside joke]. I will miss [what you will miss]. Please join me in remembering one small way they made your life better.

Template C: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Name] was not simple. We had distance and disagreements. Still, [Name] showed me [positive quality] and gave me [lesson]. I am grateful for the times we found common ground. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

• Print your speech Use large font and a couple of copies. Paper is low tech and reliable.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines on each card help you keep pace and breathe.
• Mark pauses Put a note where you expect the audience to laugh or to give you a second to breathe. Pauses feel natural to listeners.
• Practice out loud Read to a friend or to your phone. Hearing it helps you tune word choice and timing.
• Bring tissues and water You may need both. Keep them handy and do not worry about tears.
• Plan for backup Tell a family member you might need help finishing a sentence. A quick nod can mean they step in.
• Mind the mic Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal voice. If there is no mic, slow down and project to the room.

When you want to cry while reading

Let yourself. Pause and take a breath. If you need a moment, take it. The audience will give you that space. If you cannot continue, have someone ready to finish a final thought. Remember fewer words said with feeling are often more powerful than sentences rushed through tears.

How to include readings, poems, or music

Short works work best. Pick a two to four line poem excerpt or a brief song that mattered to your step cousin. Confirm with the officiant. If you plan to play a recorded track, check audio logistics ahead of time. If others want to contribute readings, coordinate so the program flows.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or an A V setup.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Provide a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case it is needed for the program or to help the event stay on time.

After the eulogy

People will ask for a copy. Offer to email it to interested family and friends. Some families include eulogies in a memory book. You can record the audio and share it privately with those who could not attend. Ask the family before posting anything online.

Glossary of useful terms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and includes basic service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Officiant The person leading the service. This may be a clergy person, a celebrant, or a family friend.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories and photos rather than ritual.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone near the end of life. It can happen at home or in a care facility.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to the person. A short opening like Hi my name is [Your Name] and I am [Name] s step cousin gives the audience context and gives you a moment to steady your voice. Practice that line until it feels familiar.

What if I cry and cannot continue

Pause and breathe. Look at your notes. If you need a moment, take it. The audience will wait. If you cannot continue, arrange for a family member or friend to finish a final sentence. Having a plan helps reduce the stress.

Should I talk about the blended family situation

Only as much as is helpful for understanding who you were to the deceased. A brief line about how your families joined can clarify your relationship and make your memories feel rooted rather than awkward.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes. Small, earned humor that shows character is often welcome. Avoid jokes that could embarrass or exclude people who loved the deceased. Follow a joke with a sincere line to bring the tone back.

How long should a eulogy be

Aim for three to seven minutes. That is usually 400 to 800 spoken words. Short and focused tends to be more memorable than long and rambling.

Should I read the eulogy from my phone

You can but make sure the screen will be readable in the venue and that the device will not ring or buzz. Many people prefer paper or cue cards when emotions run high because they are easier to handle.

Is it okay to mention family tension

You can mention complexity in a respectful and brief way. Acknowledge truth without airing personal grievances. Focus on what you learned or the way the relationship grew or changed.