How to Write a Eulogy for Your Squad Mate - Eulogy Examples & Tips

When a friend dies it hits different. Your squad mate was the person who texted memes at midnight, showed up at your worst moments, and maybe knew you better than your family did. Standing up to speak about them can feel impossible and necessary at the same time.

This guide walks you through writing a eulogy for a friend in a direct and human way. We explain any terms you might see. We give real examples you can use as templates. If you are part of a close friend group this will also cover speaking with others, sharing the gig, and handling the messy feelings that come when grief is communal.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about a friend at a funeral memorial or celebration of life. Maybe you are the friend who organizes group chat threads. Maybe you are the one who laughs loudest at their jokes. Maybe you were the roommate or the partner. If you are nervous about crying or unsure how to say the right thing this will help.

What exactly is a eulogy for a friend

A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. For friends the focus is memories personality and the small habits that made them feel like someone you could count on. A eulogy is not the same as an obituary. An obituary lists facts like birth date survivors and service details. A eulogy tells a story and carries emotion.

Terms you might see

• Order of service The schedule for the event that lists speakers music readings and other elements. Think of it as the event program.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories photos and remembering rather than traditional rituals.
• Pallbearer People who carry the casket if there is one. These are often close friends or family.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and includes biographical details and service information.
• RSVP Abbreviation that means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and honest works best. Aim for three to five minutes. That is roughly 350 to 700 spoken words. If several friends will speak check with the family or the person running the event so you do not go over time. A focused two minute story can land harder than a ten minute monologue that loses shape.

What to do before you start writing

• Ask about time and tone Confirm how long the organizers want you to speak and whether the vibe is solemn celebratory or a mix of both.
• Collect memories Text the group and ask for one memory each. Sometimes a single line from a mutual friend gives you an angle.
• Pick three things to say Choose three points to center your speech around like how they showed up for others a shared joke and one lesson you learned from them.
• Decide if you will share media If you want to show a photo slide or play a short audio clip ask the venue ahead of time.

Simple structure that actually works

When your mind is foggy grief makes structure a lifesaver. Use this shape.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. One quick line sets the scene.
• Life sketch Give a few practical facts about your friend and the roles they played like artist DJ dog parent or organizer of group trips.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that show who they were. Keep stories sensory and specific.
• Meaning Say what those stories add up to. What did your friend teach you or the squad?
• Closing End with a simple goodbye line a call to memory or a suggestion for the group like raising a glass or sharing one memory each.

Opening examples you can use

• Hello everyone I am Jenna and I was Sam s friend for ten years. I am honored to say a few words.
• Hi I am Alex. We met Sam in a questionable bar and somehow ended up starting a book club that got weirdly competitive. Sam made us care about the small stuff and that stick with me.
• Good afternoon I am Pri and Sam and I were roommates for three years. If you knew which drawer contained the emergency snacks you knew Sam.

How to write the life sketch for a friend

The life sketch is a quick snapshot not a resume. Choose details that matter for the story you are telling. Mention where they were from neighborhoods or work if relevant but focus on roles like organizer neighbor musician friend and the things they did for the squad.

Quick life sketch templates

• [Name] grew up in [place]. They worked as a [job] and were known for [trait]. They loved [hobby] and could always be counted on for [habit].
• [Name] moved to [city] and immediately made friends by [quirky habit]. They never missed a Friday night and they showed love by [small action].

Anecdotes that matter for friends

Stories make people visible. Keep them short and end them with why they mattered. A good anecdote has a setup a small action and a line that ties it to the person s character.

Friend story examples

• When our car broke down in the middle of nowhere Sam turned the roadside into a party. They rigged a playlist on their phone and we all sang until help arrived. That was Sam s way of saying nothing goes wrong that we cannot laugh through.
• Sam had a ritual of sending sunrise photos with the caption okay fresh start. If you were having a bad day you would get that photo and feel seen. We learned from them to notice small beginnings.
• At every potluck Sam brought a ridiculous amount of hot sauce and a side eye. When someone tried to skimp on flavor Sam would loudly intervene. They did not take food lightly and they loved big tastes more than rules.

Using humor the right way

Friends naturally want to laugh when they remember the small ridiculous things. Humor is welcome if it is kind. Use jokes that are earned and that the audience will recognize. Avoid anything that might embarrass private family members or single out someone who cannot laugh right now.

Safe humor examples

• Sam had a true talent for losing chargers and finding snacks. If you needed your charger you asked Sam first. If you needed gum you asked me second.
• They insisted on being the photographer for every silly moment which explains why we are all in black and white selfies with questionable facial expressions.

What to avoid in a friend eulogy

• Avoid airing private arguments or gossip. Public grief is not the place for unresolved fights in raw detail.
• Avoid long lists of accomplishments without stories. Names of jobs mean less than how they showed up in small ways.
• Avoid inside jokes that exclude people who did not know the group well. Keep a balance between personal and communal.

When your relationship was complicated

Friendships can be messy. You do not need to pretend everything was perfect. Acknowledge complexity with honesty and grace. You can say the relationship had challenges and still name the good things. That balance can feel true and respectful.

Example lines for complicated friendships

• Sam and I had seasons where we were close and seasons where we drifted. The truth is they pushed me in ways that were hard at the time and useful later.
• We fought about small things like apartment cleanliness and bigger things like life choices. Even in the fights Sam was clear about what they cared about and that matters now.

When multiple friends want to speak

If your squad wants to share the stage plan ahead. Decide who will open who will tell the funny stories and who will offer a quieter reflection. Split the time and give everyone a signal when they have thirty seconds left. Coordinating prevents accidental repeats and keeps the event moving.

Group speaking tips

• Pick a lead speaker to organize contributions and to give the opening and closing lines.
• Assign different tones to different people for variety like one person for humor one for memory and one for reflection.
• Share notes so you do not tell the same exact story twice. Small variation is fine but exact repetition makes the room pause.

Virtual memorials and social media considerations

Friends often coordinate online to gather memories from people who cannot attend in person. If you are posting a recording check with the family before sharing. Gather group messages and pick a few standout messages to read aloud instead of trying to include all of them.

Tips for online sharing

• Ask permission before posting photos or videos of the person who died.
• If you will livestream with comments have a moderator so the chat stays respectful.
• Consider creating a shared document where friends can add one paragraph each. That document can be read by one person or shared as a memory book later.

Delivery tips that actually help

• Bring printed notes Use large font and simple bullet points. Paper is steady when your phone feels shaky.
• Use index cards One idea per card helps you breathe between points.
• Mark emotional beats Put a small star where you want to pause for a laugh or to breathe. Pauses give the audience space to react.
• Practice out loud Read your speech to a friend a sibling or your dog. Voice practice helps your throat know the rhythm.
• Bring water A quick sip can steady your voice if you feel the tears coming.
• Arrange a backup Ask someone to be ready to finish a sentence if you need a moment. That removes pressure.
• Project not shout Speak slowly and let your sentences breathe. People will lean in when the voice is steady.

Full friend eulogy examples you can adapt

Example 1 modern short casual three minute version

Hi everyone I am Maya. I met Nico in freshman orientation and we have been a chaotic team ever since. Nico had a way of making the weird parts of life feel less alone. They were the person who always knew the best indie tracks and who mailed sticky notes of encouragement when I had a big deadline. One memory that captures Nico is the time their car died on the highway and they turned the situation into an impromptu roadside dance party. Strangers stopped to help and soon we were all laughing with our arms full of roadside snacks. Nico taught us to look for joy even when things go sideways. I will miss their playlist their texts that read long check in and the way they made every small thing feel generous. Please join me in a moment of silence and then share one quick memory with someone next to you.

Example 2 funny and warm under two minutes

Hey I am Jules and I am honored to call Remy my friend. Remy had two rules in life always share fries and never trust a burrito that looks calm. They would roll their eyes at me here because Remy never wanted to be called wise. Still they had a way of making friends feel safer and sillier at the same time. Remy would text a meme at midnight and that meme would change your entire mood. I will miss those tiny rescue messages more than I can say. Thank you for being here and for loving them with us.

Example 3 group memory handoff for multiple speakers

We are the group that traveled to three cities for one concert and then drove back because someone lost a ticket. Sam always made the trip worth it. I will tell the short version and then the rest of you can add one memory each. Sam taught us to disagree loudly and make up faster. They held our plans and our secrets with the same casual care. Take one minute to tell the person next to you a story about Sam and then we will hear from Emma.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates to get started. Replace bracketed text and then read aloud and edit until it feels like you.

Template A short and direct

My name is [Your Name]. I knew [Friend s Name] for [time]. They loved [hobby or habit] and were the kind of person who would [small act]. One memory that says everything about them is [brief story]. They taught me [value or lesson]. Thank you for being here and for holding them with us.

Template B funny with sincerity

Hi I am [Your Name]. If you knew [Friend s Name] you knew two things first they had the best playlist and second they would bring snacks to every event. My favorite memory is [funny short story]. Even when they were ridiculous with their ordering choices they showed up. I will miss their laugh and their ability to make a bad situation a little less bad.

Template C for complicated friendships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Friend s Name] was not always easy. We had arguments about [small example] and we made each other better in ways that were sometimes painful. In the end we found a place of understanding where I could say thank you and forgive. One thing I will carry is [lesson].

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the person running the event if you need a microphone a chair or space for a visual.
• Give a copy of your remarks to the organizer in case they want text for a program or memory book.
• If you are part of a group ask who will introduce the speakers and who will close the event.

After you speak

People will likely ask for your words. Offer to email a copy to anyone who wants one. Some groups assemble a memory book or a shared folder of photos that includes the speeches. If you recorded a video check with the family before posting. A private link or a shared drive is often the kindest choice.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given to honor a person who has died. For friends it often focuses on personality stories and shared moments.
• Obituary A written notice of death that usually includes service details and biographical facts.
• Order of service The program that lists the speakers music and readings.
• Celebration of life An event that is often less formal and focuses on sharing memory photos and stories.
• RSVP Means please respond. It is used to confirm attendance at an event.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start if I am shaking or crying

Begin with your name and how you knew the person. For example Hello I am Charlie and I have been Sam s friend since college. That short line gives you a breath and gives the audience context. Practice that opener a few times so it feels familiar when you begin.

What if everyone in my squad wants to speak

Coordinate. Pick a lead organizer to set time limits and create a speaking order. Ask each person to prepare one short memory or a single theme. That keeps the flow and prevents overlap.

Can I include memes or a playlist in the service

Yes if the venue allows it. Short audio clips and a handful of images work well. Ask the organizer to test the tech and consider keeping media under two minutes so it supports the speakers rather than interrupts them.

Should I write the eulogy down or wing it

Write it down. Even if you plan to speak from the heart a short written outline or index cards keeps you on track when emotion rises. Reading a little is fine. Practice reading aloud so it sounds conversational.

Is it okay to be funny

Yes small kind humor that comes from real memories is often welcome. Make sure your jokes do not rely on private details that could hurt family members or friends in the room.

What if I forget my place or cannot continue

Pause and breathe. Look at your notes. If you need help have a trusted friend ready to step in and finish a line. The audience will wait and people will want to support you.