How to Write a Eulogy for Your Soulmate - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your soulmate feels both impossible and essential. You want to honor the person you loved most while standing in front of people whose faces are soft with grief. This guide gives you a clear plan, real examples you can adapt, and delivery tricks that actually help when your throat is tight. We explain terms you might not know and include fill in the blank templates to make writing easier. Read through, pick a structure, and start with one small sentence.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has lost a partner, spouse, fiance, or lifelong love and is expected to speak at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service. Maybe you were married. Maybe you lived together for years. Maybe your relationship was short and fierce. Whatever your story, you can write something true, human, and deeply loving.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It is a personal story, not a full biography. It is different from an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that lists facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is a spoken memory. It is allowed to be messy, honest, and imperfect.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A published notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and funeral arrangements.
• Order of service The schedule for the event listing readings, music, and speakers.
• Officiant The person leading the service. This could be a religious leader, a celebrant, or a friend who agreed to guide the event.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. They are usually close family or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and music.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice can be in a facility or at home.
• RSVP An abbreviation of the French respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invites to ask people to confirm attendance.
• Cremation The process of reducing a body to ashes. Some families hold a service before, after, or instead of burial.

How long should a eulogy for your soulmate be

Keep it focused. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is roughly 400 to 800 spoken words. You probably have endless things you could say. Pick the pieces that matter most and tell them well. Short and clear is usually more memorable than long and rambling.

Before you start writing

Grief clouds focus. Do a tiny prep plan to make the process manageable.

• Check the time limit Ask the officiant or the person organizing the service how long you should speak.
• Decide the tone Do you want tenderness, humor, poetry, or a mix? Check with family if the tone should be more formal or more relaxed.
• Collect a few memories Ask a friend or family member for one memory each. Two to four short stories give your speech shape.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to leave remembering. For example their laugh, their generosity, and a small ritual you shared.

Structure that works

Use a simple structure. It gives you permission to be brief and honest.

• Opening Say your name and your relationship to the soulmate. Offer one sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch A brief overview of who they were. Roles and habits matter more than dates.
• Anecdotes One to three short stories that show character. Keep each under a minute when spoken.
• What they taught you Small lessons or lasting traits you carry forward.
• Closing A goodbye line, a reading, or a short request for the audience to remember one small thing about them.

How to write the opening

Start simple. Your opening buys you space to breathe.

Opening examples

• Hello. I am Jamie and I was Alex s partner for nine years. Today we are here to remember how he filled ordinary days with small wonders.
• Hi. I am Priyanka. For twenty five years Nikhil was my best friend and my person. I want to say a few quick things about how he loved fiercely and without apology.
• Good afternoon. I m Leo and this is very hard. I will speak about three little ways Mia made our life better every day.

Writing the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that support the story you are telling. Mention their roles and the things they did with intention.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place]. They worked as [job] and loved [hobby]. They made a home that smelled like coffee and late night playlists.
• [Name] moved to [city] when they were [age]. They had a talent for [skill] and a habit of [quirky ritual].

Anecdotes that matter

Stories stick. Choose moments that show a trait rather than list traits. Keep them sensory and complete with a payoff.

Good anecdote structure

• Setup: Where and when did this happen
• Action: What did they do
• Meaning: Why this moment matters to you

Examples

• One winter night the car would not start. We sat on the hood drinking bad coffee and argued about the correct way to fold maps. He ended up singing a made up song about frozen windshield wipers until a neighbor offered a jump. That was his way of making a crisis feel like a ridiculous story later.
• She rescued plants no one else could keep alive. Our apartment looked like a small jungle. If you visited and left a plant on the counter it was unofficially adopted. That taught me to keep trying even when things seem fragile.

Using love language in a eulogy

Talk about how they loved you and others. Use concrete examples of care not generic phrases. Saying they made coffee daily means more than saying they were thoughtful.

Examples of showing love language

• He left notes in my coat pocket before big meetings. Finding them felt like receiving a tiny boost when I needed it most.
• She kept a playlist for bad days. If you opened her phone there was a carefully curated list that said try not to carry this alone.

When your relationship was complicated

No relationship is a perfect romance movie. If your story had hard parts you can still be honest and kind. Acknowledge complexity and highlight what you learned or how you found closure.

Examples

• We fought about money and we made up without saying sorry always. In the end I learned what forgiveness looks like in practice and I am grateful for those quiet mended moments.
• Our lives did not follow the plan we imagined. We built a different kind of home. That imperfect life was ours and it was beautiful in its own way.

How to use humor in a eulogy for your soulmate

Humor gives people permission to breathe. Use small, earned jokes that soften the room. Avoid anything that feels like a dig at family or that would embarrass the person you loved.

Safe humor examples

• He had a rule about socks. He believed socks reveal your inner self. Laundry day was an audit and he was the auditor.
• She thought GPS was a conspiracy against spontaneity. We were late to everything but always arrived with a story.

What to avoid

• Avoid airing private family disputes in public.
• Avoid making the eulogy a place for blame or unresolved accusations.
• Avoid reading dense lists of achievements without a story that makes them human.
• Avoid extended readings of long poems or song lyrics with copyright concerns unless you have permission.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Each example follows the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and speak from the heart.

Example 1: Intimate and tender three to four minute version

Hello. I am Sam and I was Nora s partner for twelve years. Nora had a laugh that could stop a room. It was loud and quick and always ended with a little cough that let you know she was not done yet. She worked as a designer and made ordinary things look easier than they are. Nora made our home into a place where mismatched mugs were celebrated and where every visitor left with a slice of her terrible but beloved lemon cake.

One small story that captures her is about scarves. She never went anywhere without a scarf. Not for warmth always for the small moment of putting it on like armor. On a bad day she would hand me a scarf and say take it, carry some of my luck. Those tiny acts were how she loved. She taught me to make a bed carefully, to answer emails like a person not a robot, and to forgive myself when I am messy.

I will miss her laughter and the way she arranged flowers without pretending it was anything but joy. Thank you for being here and for holding her memory with me. If you have a scarf she would want you to wear it today.

Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes

Hi everyone. I am Jordan. We had five years that felt like a lifetime. Maya loved Spanish soap operas, burned pancakes sometimes, and never let me walk past a street musician without dropping a dollar. She taught me to listen to strangers. I love you Maya. Thank you for teaching me how to be brave in small ways. Please tell me one small Maya story later because I want to hear them all.

Example 3: Funny and warm celebration of life tone

Good afternoon. I m Pat and I was Ben s husband. If you knew Ben you knew three things. He loved terrible puns, he collected mugs like they were endangered species, and he thought he could fix anything with duct tape. He fixed our bookshelf, our relationship, and once he tried a toaster that was not a toaster. We laughed so much that sometimes coffee spray was part of the morning ritual.

Ben taught me to be ridiculous and to take my own seriousness down a notch. Today we celebrate his messiness, his jokes, and the way he made grocery shopping feel like an adventure. Eat some cake and tell his worst joke for the record. He would like that.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these to get started. Write them out, then read them out loud and edit to sound like you.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Partner s Name] partner spouse fiance. [Partner s Name] loved [one hobby], worked as [job], and had a habit of [quirky habit]. One memory that shows who they were is [brief story]. They taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.

Template B: Poetic and personal

[Partner s Name] was the person who [small image such as carried two coffees always hummed melodies]. If I had to name what I loved most it would be [specific detail]. A memory I will keep is [short story]. Today I ask you to remember one small thing about them and to pass it on to someone new.

Template C: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. Our relationship with [Partner s Name] had hard chapters and forgiving chapters. We argued about [small example] and we made up by [how you reconciled]. What I want to hold forever is [lesson or moment]. If I could say one thing now it would be [short line you want to say].

Practical tips for delivery

Grief makes everything harder. These practical tactics will keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use a large font. Paper is easier to manage when your hands shake.
• Use cue cards Index cards with one or two lines each help you avoid losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where a laugh might happen. Pauses give you time to collect yourself.
• Practice out loud Read to a friend, a pet, or into your phone. Practice tells your throat what to expect.
• Bring tissues and water Small comforts matter.
• Have a backup reader Ask a friend to be ready to finish a sentence if you cannot continue.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If no mic is available, project to the back row and pace yourself.

When you want to cry while reading

Crying is allowed. Pause, breathe, look at your notes, and then continue. If your voice breaks, slow down. Saying fewer words more slowly often carries more weight. Your audience wants you to be human in that room.

How to include readings, poems, and music

Short excerpts work best. If you include a poem pick a two to four line piece or an excerpt under a minute when spoken. For songs check copyright and venue rules. Consider asking a musician to play a short instrumental before or after your words.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone or printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service so they can include it in the program if desired.

Recording and sharing the eulogy

Ask permission before posting recordings online. Some families prefer privacy. If you share audio or video add a brief note about how you would like people to honor the memory and who to contact for condolences.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark emotional beats and pauses in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a small bottle of water.
• Arrange for a friend to finish a line if needed.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given to honor a person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death that usually includes service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Officiant The person leading the funeral or memorial.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket.
• Celebration of life An event that focuses on stories, music, and photos more than ritual.
• Hospice Care that prioritizes comfort and quality of life for someone near the end of life.
• RSVP An abbreviation that asks guests to confirm attendance.
• Cremation The process of reducing a body to ashes. Some families hold services before or after cremation.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am completely overwhelmed

Start with your name and your relationship to the person. A simple sentence like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I was [Partner s Name] partner gives the room context and buys you a breath. Then say one small true sentence about them. Practicing that opening helps steady you.

What if I forget my place or cannot finish because I am crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to step in. Many families plan a short order of speakers so someone can finish a closing line if needed.

Can I include song lyrics or a full poem

Short excerpts are usually fine. For full songs or long poems check copyright or ask permission. If the venue is streaming the service you might need additional permissions. A short reading often feels more powerful than a long one.

Should I mention practical details like dates or medical information

Only include practical facts if they matter to the story you are telling. You do not need to give medical details. Focus on memory and meaning rather than medical history unless the family agrees otherwise.

How do I balance humor and grief

Use small, kind humor that comes from real stories. Follow a joke with a genuine line to bring the tone back to tenderness. Humor can be a bridge but should never be used to avoid feeling.

Is it okay to read from a phone

Yes you can but make sure the device will not ring and that the screen is bright enough in the venue. Many people prefer printed pages or index cards which are easier to handle when emotions run high.