How to Write a Eulogy for Your Son In Law - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your son in law can feel both tender and complicated. Maybe he was family by marriage but family by choice too. Maybe you loved him like a son. Maybe your bond was quieter. This guide gives a clear plan, real examples you can adapt, templates to fill in, and delivery tips that actually help when emotions are close to the surface. We explain terms you might not know and include sample sentences you can use as a starting point.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about their son in law at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, or virtual gathering. You might be the parent of their spouse, a stepparent who welcomed them into the family, or a close family friend who stood in as family. You might be nervous about getting emotional or unsure how to speak about someone who joined the family later in life. This guide gives short, medium, and longer examples and templates for different tones.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died. It is usually personal and story based. A eulogy is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that lists basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service times. A eulogy is a spoken memory. It can be funny, solemn, tender, or a mix. It does not need to be perfect.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A published notice about a death that typically includes biographical details and service information.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial listing readings, music, and speakers. Think of it as the event program.
• Pallbearer Someone chosen to help carry the casket. They are often family or close friends.
• Celebration of life An alternative to a traditional funeral that focuses on stories, photos, and less formality.
• Hospice A type of care focused on comfort for people at the end of life. Hospice care can happen at home or in a facility.
• Officiant The person leading the service. They could be a religious leader, a celebrant, or a friend asked to guide the gathering.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and intentional usually works best. Aim for three to seven minutes which is roughly 400 to 800 spoken words. If you are nervous about crying, a shorter, focused tribute can be more powerful than trying to fit everything into a long speech. If multiple people are speaking, coordinate lengths so the service stays on schedule.

Before you start writing

A little prep makes the whole thing easier.

• Ask about time Check with the family or the officiant how long you should speak and where your remarks fit in the order of service.
• Pick the tone Decide whether the speech should be solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mixture. Talk to close family to make sure the tone fits the person and the gathering.
• Collect material Gather dates, milestones, nicknames, small stories, favorite sayings, and anything that shows character. Ask your child and other close family for one memory each.
• Choose three focus points Pick three things you want people to remember. Three points are easy to structure and help keep the speech coherent.

Structure that works

Use a simple shape that gives the listener a clear path.

• Opening Say who you are and your relationship to the person. Offer one sentence setting the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of his life in practical strokes. Focus on roles like husband, father, friend, hobbyist, or worker rather than listing every job.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal his character. Keep them specific and sensory.
• Traits and lessons Summarize what people will miss and what he taught others.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, short quote, or invitation for a shared action like a toast or a moment of silence.

How to write the opening

The opening should be simple and grounding. Start with your name and your relationship to him and then say one true sentence about who he was or what the gathering is for.

Opening examples

• Hi, I am Laura, David s mother in law. We are here to remember how he filled rooms with laughter and how he loved my daughter like family.
• Hello, my name is Jorge and I am Elena s father. I want to say a few words about the man who made our daughter laugh every single day.
• Good afternoon, I am Maria, his mother in law. I did not expect to get a son, but he made that easy for all of us.

Writing the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Choose the facts that matter for the story you are telling. Keep it short and human. Mention roles and a few notable facts like where he grew up, what he did for work, hobbies, and family relationships.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place]. He worked as a [job]. He married [spouse name] and became a devoted partner and father to [children names or count].
• [Name] loved [hobby], was known for [quirky skill], and volunteered at [place]. He had a laugh that made everything feel lighter.

Anecdotes that matter

People remember stories. Pick one or two short moments that show character. Keep them sensory and with a small payoff that explains why the memory matters.

Short anecdote examples

• He insisted on dancing at every wedding. It did not matter if he knew the steps. He believed moving together could fix almost anything.
• When our sink clogged he taught my daughter to use thread and a jar to clean it. He called it practical magic and kept us laughing while he fixed what was broken.
• Every Sunday he made a huge breakfast and made sure everyone had a funny story ready before they left the table. It was his way of making Sundays feel like belonging.

Addressing complicated relationships

If your relationship had tension or distance you can still speak honestly and kindly. You do not need to air private grievances. Acknowledge complexity if it is real, and share any small reconciliations or lessons you can own.

Examples for complex relationships

• Our relationship was not always easy. He and I had different ways of showing love. Over time we found a quiet respect that I will always appreciate.
• He made mistakes. He also worked to make things right. I remember the late night conversation when he apologized and listened like I had never been listened to before. That changed everything.
• We did not always understand each other. Still, he loved my child fiercely and that was never in doubt.

Using humor thoughtfully

Light humor can open up space to breathe. Use small, earned jokes based on real stories. Avoid anything that might embarrass people present or make private things public.

Safe humor examples

• He had the kind of confidence that made assembling furniture look like an Olympic sport. None of us were surprised when the bookshelf had four extra screws and a small bag of mystery parts.
• He believed every family photo needed at least one goofy face. If you see him in a picture making a face you will know he was there and he wanted you smiling.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a place for family disputes or private vendettas.
• Avoid reading a long list of achievements without showing how they mattered to people.
• Avoid inside jokes that exclude listeners who did not know him well.
• Avoid cliches that mean nothing unless you immediately follow them with a specific detail.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples following the structure above. Replace bracketed text with personal details to make them yours.

Example 1: Warm, family focused 3 to 4 minute version

Hello, I am Anna, his mother in law. It is an honor to say a few words about Daniel.

Daniel grew up near the coast and became a firefighter. He married my daughter Maria ten years ago and quickly became the kind of person who fixed things in the house and also fixed small problems in our hearts. He loved camping, making playlists, and bad karaoke nights where he sang like he meant it.

One small story that captures Daniel is from last summer. The generator went out at our family cabin just as the storm hit. Daniel calmly collected flashlights, started a campfire, and made sure everyone had warm soup. He did not need praise. He just made things safer and more bearable. That is how he showed love.

He taught us to be brave in small ways, to call each other when something felt off, and to laugh even when the weather was against us. We will miss his steady presence, the way he folded his napkin with unnecessary precision, and the way he cheered whether the team won or lost. Thank you for being here and for holding his memory with us.

Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes

Hi everyone. I am Marco, my daughter s father. Tom loved barbecues, bad jokes, and making playlists for road trips. He loved my daughter like a best friend and a teammate. He taught us to keep an extra spatula and to forgive quickly. We will miss his laugh and the way he always left room at the table. Thank you for coming and for remembering him with us.

Example 3: Honest tone for a complicated relationship

Hello, I am Diane, his mother in law. Sam and I did not always agree. We argued about small things that felt important in the moment. Over time I came to see how hard he tried to be present. In his last months he and I spoke often. He apologized for things he could not change and he thanked me for small kindnesses. That conversation felt like a gift. I will remember him for his stubborn generosity and for the way he learned to lean on others. Thank you.

Example 4: Celebration of life, upbeat and funny

Hey everyone. I am Rachel, the lucky woman who got to call him son in law. If you met him you know he had two rules. Rule one was never skip dessert. Rule two was if you ever argued bring snacks and apologize with a slice. He hosted terrible game nights that we all loved. Today we celebrate a life that made ordinary nights feel like an event. Please laugh with us as we remember him loud and messy and true.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates to get started. Fill in the blanks then read it out loud and edit for your voice.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [son or daughter name] parent in law. [Name] was born in [place]. He loved [hobby] and worked as a [job]. He married [spouse name] and together they built a life full of [small detail]. One memory that shows the kind of person he was is [brief story]. He taught us [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here.

Template B: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [name] had its challenges. We struggled with [small example]. Over time we found a place of understanding where we could share [a small positive]. I am grateful for the times we had together and for the chance to have grown. If I could say one thing to him now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C: Light and funny with sincerity

Hi, I am [Your Name]. To know [name] was to know that [quirky habit]. He also made sure we never ran out of [household staple]. My favorite memory is [funny short story]. Even his jokes had a way of making hard days lighter. I will miss his sense of humor and his enormous heart. Thank you for sharing him with our family.

Practical tips for delivery

These practical tactics keep you steady when emotions are close.

• Print your speech Use large font so you can see it easily. Paper is less likely to distract than a bright phone screen at an emotional moment.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines each make it easier to find your place and to breathe between ideas.
• Mark pauses Write in brackets where you want to pause for a breath or where you expect a laugh. Pauses help you regroup.
• Practice out loud Read your eulogy to a friend, in the car, or to the dog. Practicing helps your throat and heart know the rhythm.
• Bring tissues and water They will help steady you. A wet throat is easier to control than a dry one.
• Ask for help If you think you might not finish, arrange for someone to introduce you and to step in to read a closing line if needed.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal volume. If there is no mic, speak slowly and project to the back row.

When you want to cry while reading

If tears come, that is okay. Pause, breathe, look at your notes, and continue when you can. If your voice breaks, slow down. Saying fewer words more slowly is often more powerful. The room will wait. People want to support you.

How to include readings, poems, and music

Short is usually better. If you choose a poem, pick a two to four line excerpt that resonates. Readings can be religious or secular. Confirm with the officiant and print the text in the program when possible.

Music choices

• Pick songs he loved or songs that match the tone of the event.
• If live music is not available ask the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers.
• Keep music brief and place it where it supports the speech such as before or after your remarks.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they want to include it in the program.
• Ask family before sharing the eulogy online. Some families want privacy. If sharing is OK, add a brief note about where donations can be sent if applicable.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a glass of water if allowed.
• Tell someone you might need a moment and arrange a small signal if you want them to finish if needed.

Recording the eulogy and sharing it

Ask permission before posting a recording online. If the family agrees, provide a short description and be mindful of the deceased s wishes. Some families prefer to circulate the recording privately rather than post it publicly.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death and usually including service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories and photos rather than ritual.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. This care can be at home or in a facility.
• Officiant The person leading the service. They might be a religious leader, a celebrant, or a trusted friend.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It appears on invitations to ask guests to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Start by saying your name and your relationship to the person. A short opening like Hello, my name is [Your Name] and I am [Name] mother in law gives context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a brief moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to finish a single line or the closing. Keeping the speech short makes this easier.

Should I include religious language if the family is not religious

Use language that was meaningful to him or to the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories. Short readings that match the family s beliefs can be a good alternative to prayer language.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes, small earned humor can be a relief for listeners. Use jokes rooted in real, kind memories and test them with a trusted friend if you are unsure. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members.

How long should I speak

Three to seven minutes is a solid target. Short speeches are often more memorable. If several people are speaking coordinate times to keep the service within the planned schedule.

Should I give a copy of the eulogy to the funeral home or officiant

Yes. Providing a copy helps the officiant and the person running the service stay on schedule and makes it easy to include the text in a printed program or memory book.

What if I want to include a poem or music

Choose short excerpts rather than long pieces. Confirm with the officiant and provide printed text in the program when possible. Place music where it supports the speech such as a brief interlude before or after your remarks.

Is it okay to record and share the eulogy online

Check with family before posting. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved provide a short context and be mindful of the deceased s wishes and any potential requests for donations or memorial contributions.