How to Write a Eulogy for Your Son - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your son is one of the hardest things you might ever be asked to do. You want to honor him, share who he was, and get through speaking without feeling like you failed at both saying goodbye and holding it together. This guide gives a clear plan you can follow, sample eulogies you can adapt, and practical delivery tips that actually help. We explain terms you might see and include templates for short and longer formats. Read through, pick an example that fits your relationship, and start shaping words that feel true.

Who this guide is for

This article is for parents, guardians, or caregivers who have been asked to speak about their son at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service. Maybe he was an infant, a teenager, or an adult. Maybe your relationship was loving or complicated. Maybe the death was sudden or expected. There are samples for tender, funny, short, and honest options you can personalize.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a speech that honors a person who has died. It appears during a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is personal and story driven. It is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that gives basic facts like birth and death dates, survivors, and service information. A eulogy is a memory made public. It can be messy and still be meaningful.

Useful terms and acronyms explained

• Obituary A written notice announcing a death. It typically includes biographical facts and service details.
• Order of service The schedule or program for the funeral or memorial listing readings, music, and speakers.
• Celebration of life A less formal event that focuses on stories, photos, and memories rather than rituals.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to help carry the casket at a funeral. Pallbearers are usually family or close friends.
• Grief The natural emotional response to loss. Grief includes sadness, anger, numbness, relief, and many other feelings.
• Bereavement The state of having lost someone. Bereavement can refer to the early days and the longer process of adjusting.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice can be provided at home or in a facility.
• PTSD Post traumatic stress disorder. A mental health condition that can develop after exposure to traumatic events. It is relevant when a death was sudden or violent.

How long should a eulogy for your son be

Short and focused is usually better. Aim for three to seven minutes for a single speaker. That is roughly 400 to 800 spoken words. If multiple people are speaking, check with the family or officiant about timing. If you are very close and have a longer story that matters, plan for 8 to 10 minutes at most and confirm permission first.

Before you start writing

Do a quick checklist before you put pen to paper or fingers to keys.

• Ask about timing Confirm how long you are expected to speak and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want to be solemn, celebratory, funny, honest about pain, or a mixture? Talk to a close family member so the tone fits the family and the son.
• Gather memories Collect a short list of facts, nicknames, favorite songs, three small stories, and a few phrases people use to describe him.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want listeners to remember about him. Three ideas keep the speech focused.

Structure that works

A clear structure gives you permission to be human and helps listeners follow along. Use this simple shape.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking, and state one sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of his life in practical strokes. Dates are optional. Focus on roles like son, brother, friend, student, worker, or creative.
• Anecdotes Tell one to three short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific, sensory, and short.
• Traits and lessons Summarize what he taught you and others or what people will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a favorite quote, or a small call to action like sharing a memory after the service or planting a tree in his name.

Choosing the tone when the death was complicated

If your son died by suicide, overdose, an accident, or while estranged from family, you can still speak in a way that is honest and compassionate. You do not need to give all the details in public. Acknowledge complexity without assigning blame. Saying that the death was painful and that there were struggles is enough. If you want to mention cause of death, do so with gentle language. If you prefer not to, that choice is valid also.

Examples of gentle phrasing

• He lived with depression for many years and we are grateful for the help he received in his final months.
• His struggle with addiction was part of his story. It does not erase his jokes, his kindness, or the times he showed up for a friend.
• We do not have all the answers. We do know he loved the ocean, football, and his dog Charlie more than anything.

How to choose stories

People remember stories more than lists of accomplishments. Pick moments that show who he was. Keep each story short and give it a payoff that connects to a trait or lesson.

Good kinds of stories

• A memory that shows his humor in a specific scene.
• A moment that reveals a strength or kindness.
• A small family ritual that captures his personality.
• A turning point that changed him or that taught you something.

Examples of openings you can adapt

• Hello. I am Jenna, David s mom. Today we are here to remember the way David taught us to take nothing for granted and to make spaghetti dance with hot sauce.
• Hi. My name is Paul and I am Marcus s dad. Marcus loved making playlists and making bad jokes with perfect timing. I want to tell you two short stories that show him perfectly.
• Good afternoon. I am Ana, his guardian. My son was messy and brilliant and kind in inconvenient ways. He made us laugh every single day and that is what I want to share with you now.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples for different situations. Replace bracketed text with your details and edit to make the tone your own.

Example 1: Loving parent to a young adult son, 4 to 5 minute version

Hello. I am Lisa, Chris s mother. Chris was twenty six and had a laugh that started in his chest and landed in your face. He loved making playlists and making sure his little sister never left the house without a jacket even if it was seventy degrees.

Chris grew up here in Portland and could make a mean grilled cheese before he could properly clean his room. He studied graphic design and then became a barista because he said it kept him close to people and to good coffee. He was a loyal friend who once drove across state to rescue someone who needed a couch and a pep talk. That is the kind of person he was. Practical generosity mixed with ridiculous loyalty.

One small story that captures him happened last summer. Our block had a yard sale and Chris decided we needed a lemonade stand. He painted a sign, recruited his niece to help, and promptly sold lemonade to his neighbor s dog who was the unofficial mayor of the cul de sac. The dog stood on his hind legs and Chris declared it a two dollar donation for civic engagement. We all laughed and then he donated the profit to a local youth program. He loved the joke and the outcome equally.

He taught me to say I love you more often and to forgive small things faster. I will miss his playlists because they always introduced me to a song that I could not stop playing. I will miss his laugh and the way he made everyone feel included. Thank you for being here and for holding him with us.

Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes for a teenage son

Hi everyone. I m Mark and I am Evan s dad. Evan loved skateboards, late night pizza, and making terrible puns that made his friends groan. He was the kid who would give you the last slice and then pretend it was a strategic decision. He was thirteen and bright and the last little piece of our family that would tell a bad joke to break the tension. Thank you for being here to laugh with us and to remember him.

Example 3: Honest and complicated, for a son with a difficult relationship

My name is Rosa. My son Leo and I had a complicated relationship. There were years we did not speak often and other years where we were inseparable. Leo could be stubborn and reckless. He could also be wildly protective of the people he loved. In the last year we found a quieter way to be together. We shared long walks and bad coffee and I learned how to listen without trying to fix everything. I am grateful for that time. I choose to remember his strengths and the ways he surprised me with kindness.

Example 4: Infant loss, tender and brief

Hello. I am Priya, his mother. Our son Noah lived for ten days and in those days he taught us more about hope and tenderness than we knew possible. We did not get to hear him grow into a person. Still we remember the way his hand curled around our finger and the quiet he brought into our home. We will carry him in small rituals and in the quiet corners of our life. Thank you for holding us now.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates to structure your own words. Fill in the brackets and then edit out anything that feels forced. Read it aloud and trim where it sounds too long.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [son s name] parent. [Son s name] was born in [place or year] and loved [one hobby]. He worked or studied as [job or school]. One memory that shows the kind of person he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.

Template B: For complicated relationships

I am [Your Name]. My relationship with [son s name] was complicated. We had distance and arguments but also moments that mattered. We disagreed about [small example]. Over time we found [something positive]. If I could say one thing to him now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C: Short and modern

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [son s name] was to know that [quirky habit]. He also made sure we had [practical or silly thing]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. He made us laugh and he made us better at not taking life too seriously. Thank you for being here.

Practical tips for delivery

Delivering a speech while grieving is tough. These practical tactics can help you stay steady and finish your words.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to handle when emotions run high than a small phone screen.
• Use cue cards Index cards with one or two lines on each card reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Write breathe or pause where you want to inhale or where the audience might laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice aloud Read the eulogy to someone you trust, to a mirror, or to your dog. Practicing calms the voice and the throat.
• Bring tissues and water A small bottle of water can save your voice if it tightens up.
• Arrange a backup Have someone on standby who can step in to read a closing sentence if you need them to.
• Mic technique If there is a microphone keep it a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal volume. If there is no mic speak slowly and project to the back of the room.

When you think you will cry while reading

If tears come that is normal. Pause, breathe, look down at your notes, and then continue. If your voice breaks slow down. Saying fewer words more deliberately is often more powerful. Remember the audience is there to support you and will wait.

Including readings, poems, and music

Short readings work best. A two to four line poem excerpt is usually enough. If you want to include a song mention it to the officiant and keep it brief. Live music or a recorded track can be placed before or after the eulogy to support the mood.

Things to avoid

• Avoid giving private medical details unless the family agrees.
• Avoid using the eulogy as a place to air grievances or assign blame.
• Avoid long lists of achievements without personal stories that make them human.
• Avoid jokes that might embarrass or exclude listeners. If you use humor make sure it is kind and earned.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone or if you want to display photos while you speak.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and the time allowed.
• Give a copy of the eulogy to the person running the program if you want it printed or archived.

After the eulogy

People may ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family and friends. Some families include the eulogy in the printed program or in a memory book. You can also record the audio and share it privately. Ask permission before posting any recording online because some families prefer privacy.

How to handle questions about cause of death

People will be curious. You do not owe anyone details you are not comfortable sharing. Use a short line to answer if you want or redirect with a request for privacy. Example responses include We are keeping the details private for now or He struggled with addiction and we are focusing on remembering his life.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice aloud at least three times.
• Mark emotional beats and pauses in your copy.
• Bring tissues and water.
• Arrange for a person to finish a line if you need them to.

Glossary of useful terms

• Eulogy A speech honoring a person who died. Usually part of a funeral or memorial.
• Obituary A published notice about a death that includes basic facts and service info.
• Order of service The event program that lists readings, music, and speakers.
• Pallbearer Someone chosen to carry the casket. Usually close family or friends.
• Celebration of life A casual gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memories.
• Grief The emotional reaction to loss. It is personal and not linear.
• Bereavement The state of having lost someone close to you.
• Hospice Comfort centered care for people nearing the end of life, provided at home or in facilities.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am terrified to speak

Start with your name and your relationship to your son. A simple opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Son s Name] parent gives you a breath to settle. Practice that line until it feels familiar. Then say one small true sentence about him. That will steady you at the microphone.

What if I cry and cannot continue

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to finish a line. You can also plan a very short closing line that someone else can read if needed. The audience will wait and support you.

Should I mention cause of death

Only mention cause of death if you and your family are comfortable with it. If the death was from suicide or overdose you can choose gentle wording like He struggled with addiction and we remember him for his kindness. You do not need to disclose medical details publicly.

How do I balance humor and respect

Use small, earned humor that comes from a real story. Follow a joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone. Humor can be a relief but it should never be used to deflect real grief.

Can I read a eulogy from my phone

Yes you can. If you do silence notifications and make the screen bright enough for the venue. Many people prefer printed pages or index cards because they are less likely to slip and easier to handle if emotions run high.

How long should the eulogy be

Three to seven minutes is a strong target. Shorter speeches tend to be more memorable and easier to deliver when emotions are raw. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times so the service stays on schedule.

Is it okay to use music or photos

Yes. Photos can be displayed while you speak and a short song can play before or after the eulogy. Coordinate with the officiant or funeral director and keep things brief so the event remains focused.