How to Write a Eulogy for Your Soldier - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for a soldier carries extra weight and meaning. You want to honor service, reflect on character, and respect military protocol while still speaking from the heart. This guide walks you through what to include, what to avoid, how to mention rank and service details correctly, and it gives real examples and fill in the blank templates you can adapt. We explain military terms so they are not confusing and offer delivery tips to help you get through the moment.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about a soldier at a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life. Maybe you are a spouse who shared day to day life with someone in uniform. Maybe you are a parent, sibling, friend, or fellow service member. Maybe the death was a combat loss, a training accident, or after a long illness. Each situation asks for a slightly different tone. You will find examples for formal military honors, casual celebration of life events, and short remarks to say at graveside.

What is a eulogy in a military context

A eulogy is a short speech that honors the person who has died. When the deceased served in the military there are extra conventions to be aware of. A eulogy for a soldier can recognize service and sacrifice while also sharing personal stories that make the person human. Military funerals often include specific rites such as the folding of the flag, the presentation of the flag to next of kin, a bugler playing Taps, and a rifle volley. These moments shape where your remarks fit in the order of the service.

Terms and acronyms you might see

• Taps A bugle tune played at military funerals and memorials near the end of the ceremony. It signals final honors and reflection.
• Military honors Ceremonial elements provided by the Department of Defense or a branch of service such as an honor guard, flag folding, and Taps. The number of participants can vary based on eligibility.
• DD214 Pronounced D D two one four. This is the Certificate of Release or Discharge from Active Duty. It documents a veteran s service. Families often need copies for benefits and burial arrangements.
• POW Prisoner of war. A service member captured and held by the enemy during conflict.
• KIA Killed in action. A service member who died during combat operations.
• MIA Missing in action. A service member unaccounted for during a combat period.
• VA Department of Veterans Affairs. The federal agency that administers benefits and services for veterans.
• Casualty assistance officer A military official assigned to help families with arrangements and benefits after a service member s death.
• Honor guard A unit that performs ceremonial duties such as presenting the flag and escorting the casket.

How long should a eulogy for a soldier be

Short and focused is usually best. Aim for three to five minutes for a graveside or funeral setting with multiple speakers. If you are the primary speaker at a memorial or celebration of life you can go up to seven minutes. The military ceremony itself has scheduled elements. Check with the funeral director or casualty assistance officer about timing so your remarks fit the order of service.

Before you start writing

Do these practical things first so your speech is accurate and respectful.

• Confirm protocol Ask the funeral director or casualty assistance officer whether military honors will occur and where your eulogy sits in the program.
• Verify rank and correct service branch terminology Make sure you use the correct rank, branch name, and any earned awards. If you are not sure about abbreviations ask a service member to confirm.
• Decide the tone Do you want the speech to be formal, conversational, humorous, or a blend? Consider what best fits the deceased and the audience.
• Gather memories Ask family and friends for one memory each so you have a variety of small stories to choose from.
• Choose a few focus points Pick two or three things you want people to remember. Examples are bravery, kindness, sense of humor, everyday rituals, or mentorship in the unit.

Structure that works for a soldier s eulogy

A clear structure gives your words purpose and helps the audience follow you.

• Opening Say your name and your relationship to the soldier. A single sentence that sets the tone helps steady nerves.
• Service recognition Briefly state the soldier s rank, branch, and service highlights. Keep it factual and concise.
• Personal life sketch Share who they were outside the uniform. Mention family roles, home life, hobbies, and small rituals.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. These are the heart of the eulogy.
• Legacy and lessons Summarize what the soldier taught others or how they made people feel.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a reading, or an invitation for a moment of silence. If a flag presentation is coming next, acknowledge that transition.

How to mention rank and service properly

Using rank correctly is a sign of respect. If the soldier was an active duty member or a veteran you can include rank on first reference and then use their name. Examples

• First reference: Sergeant First Class Maria Lopez, United States Army.
• Then: Maria or Sergeant Lopez depending on what feels right for the audience.

If the family prefers to avoid rank in the eulogy because they want the focus to be the person, honor that request. Always confirm with the next of kin before deciding how formal to be.

What to include about service and what to avoid

Include service details that help people understand the soldier s commitments and achievements. Examples are deployments, units, awards like the Purple Heart or Bronze Star when appropriate, and volunteer work with veteran groups.

Avoid operational or classified details. Do not describe combat scenes or injuries in graphic terms. Avoid sharing specifics that might endanger others or violate operational security. If the death happened in combat you can acknowledge sacrifice without graphic detail by focusing on character and the impact on family and community.

Anecdotes that work well

Good anecdotes are short, sensory, and have a small payoff. Here are examples tailored for soldiers.

• The morning ritual. For Private Jackson the day always began with a stupidly strong cup of coffee and a playlist with eighties music. His laugh was louder than the music.
• The mentor moment. As a squad leader she took time to teach a new recruit how to clean his rifle and how to listen to other people when they needed to talk. That patience mattered.
• The unexpected softness. He never missed his daughter s soccer games. In uniform or not he was the loudest dad on the sideline and the first to bring snacks when a family needed them.

Examples you can adapt

Below are full eulogies in different tones. Replace bracketed text with your details and adjust length as needed.

Example 1: Formal military funeral, three to four minute version

Hello. My name is Laura Bennett and I am Michael s sister. Michael served our country as Staff Sergeant Michael Bennett in the United States Marine Corps. He deployed twice and was known to his fellow Marines for calm under pressure and for a terrible joke at just the wrong moment. He earned the Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medal and more importantly he earned the trust of every person in his unit.

At home he was the person who fixed things nobody else could fix. He could change a tire and a toddler s mood with equal confidence. He had a way of making a bad day feel manageable by showing up and asking how he could help. His laugh filled the garage and the kitchen and we will miss that sound every day.

One small story that shows who he was happened last year. A neighbor s roof leaked during a storm. Michael gathered tools, called two friends, and they spent a Sunday getting the job done. He never liked credit and he certainly never wanted a thank you. He wanted the roof repaired so the kids could sleep dry. That was him in a moment most of us saw a hundred times.

Michael taught us to be brave enough to care about other people and to be honest about what matters. Today we honor his service and we hold his memory. Thank you.

Example 2: Short graveside remarks for a veteran

Hi everyone. I am Aaron. I am proud to have been his friend. He served in the Air Force and later ran a small carpentry business. He loved board games and he loved building things that lasted. If he taught me anything it was how to be precise and how to forgive fast. I will miss him terribly and I am grateful for every joke and every sandwich he ever shared. Thank you.

Example 3: Combat loss, honest and respectful

My name is Rachel. Captain Daniel Morris gave everything for the men he led and for this country. We shared a life full of small, ordinary joy. He loved crescent rolls and he sang off tune while washing dishes. The details of his death are not things we will describe here. What I will say is this. Daniel stood in the middle of life with courage and tenderness. He wanted his son to learn to be kind and to be strong. We will try to do that in his memory.

Example 4: Celebration of life tone with humor and warmth

Hello. I am Mark. If you knew Alex you know two things. One he never turned down a dare. Two he loved his dog more than most humans. Alex enlisted right after high school and he found lifelong friends in uniform. After service he taught high school civics and he coached basketball. He once tried to make a team bonding exercise out of a three mile hike that turned into a competitive snack search. He lost the hike but won the snacks. That is the kind of person he was. Wildly competitive and incredibly kind. We will miss him and we will tell the snack story for a long time.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates to start writing. Read them out loud and edit until they sound like you.

Template A: Formal military funeral

Hello. My name is [Your Name]. I am [relation]. [Rank and full name] served in the [branch] and was known for [service trait]. At home [First name] loved [hobby or family role]. One memory that shows who [first name] was is [brief story]. [He she] taught me [value or lesson]. Thank you for honoring [first name] today.

Template B: Short personal graveside remarks

Hi. I am [Your Name]. [First name] was a [job or role] and a [parent spouse friend]. [One sentence about service]. My favorite memory is [short story]. I will miss [what people will miss] and I am grateful for [one way the person made life better].

Template C: For a combat related loss

My name is [Your Name]. [First name] served with bravery and care for others. We will not speak of painful details here. Instead I want to say that [first name] taught us to [lesson]. Please remember [first name] by [action such as supporting family, donating to a veteran cause, sharing stories].

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These tactics help you stay steady.

• Print your speech Use large font and double spacing. Paper is easy to manage when emotions swell.
• Cue cards Short index cards with one or two lines per card reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, to a mirror, or while walking. Practicing builds muscle memory for words that might be stuck under stress.
• Mark pauses Indicate where to breathe or where the audience might applaud or react. Pauses let you collect yourself.
• Bring tissues and water Small comforts matter. A glass of water helps if your voice tightens.
• Know who will introduce you Ask a family member or officiant to give a short introduction if you think you might need it.
• Coordinate with the honor guard If military honors are present confirm timing so you do not speak over Taps or the flag presentation.

How to include readings, scripture, or music

Short readings work best. Religious or secular passages are both appropriate depending on family beliefs. If you include a poem keep it to a short excerpt. Coordinate with the officiant and print readings in the program if possible. If a bugler or recorded music will play note where it fits so your closing does not collide with Taps or the rifle volley.

Handling complex situations

Some deaths involve controversy, suicide, or public attention. In those cases be mindful of privacy and of the family s wishes. For suicide it is okay to say the person died after a struggle and to encourage support for others who are struggling. Avoid pointing fingers or getting into detail about causes. Focus on the human being and on resources for family and friends.

Logistics and who to contact

• Contact the casualty assistance officer for help with military honors, benefits, and burial allowances.
• Provide the funeral home and officiant a copy of your remarks if asked so they can include it in the order of service.
• Gather copies of DD214 and any benefit paperwork if the family does not already have them.
• Ask the funeral director about flag protocols, especially if you want the flag presented during the ceremony.

After the eulogy

People will want to read your words. Offer to email or print copies for family and friends. Some families include the eulogy in a memory book. If you record the audio or video ask permission before posting online. The family s privacy should guide your decision.

Checklist before you speak

• Confirm your time limit with the funeral director or officiant.
• Print your speech and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark emotional beats and pauses clearly on your copy.
• Coordinate timing with military honors and Taps.
• Bring tissues and water and have a trusted person ready to step in if needed.

Glossary of useful military terms and agencies

• Taps The bugle tune played at military funerals to signal final honors and reflection.
• Honor guard A ceremonial team that performs flag folding and other military honors.
• DD214 Official record of a veteran s service. Families need this for burial and benefit purposes.
• VA Department of Veterans Affairs. The federal agency that provides veterans benefits and burial assistance.
• Casualty assistance officer Military personnel who help families navigate benefits and funeral arrangements after a service member s death.
• Flag presentation The folded flag presented to the next of kin as a token of the nation s recognition of service.
• Three volley salute A rifle salute performed by a firing party at some military funerals. It is not the same as the national anthem or Taps.
• Purple Heart A decoration awarded to service members wounded or killed as a result of enemy action.

Frequently asked questions

How should I address a soldier by rank in a eulogy

Use the correct rank on first reference followed by the person s name. After that you can use their first name if the family prefers a more personal tone. Confirm with family to match their wishes and to avoid mistakes.

Can I mention combat details

Avoid graphic descriptions and operational specifics. Acknowledge service and sacrifice without naming sensitive details. Focus on character and the impact on family and community.

Will the military provide honors and how do we request them

Most eligible service members receive military honors. The casualty assistance officer or the funeral director can request honors from the appropriate branch. Families should provide a copy of the DD214 to speed the process.

What if the death was a suicide

Be compassionate and avoid blame. It is acceptable to acknowledge that the person died after a struggle with mental health and to point people to support resources. Respect the family s wishes about how much to say about cause of death.

How long should I speak

Three to five minutes is typical for a ceremony with multiple speakers. For a primary speaker at a memorial you can go up to seven minutes. Always confirm timing with the officiant.

Should I include military awards and decorations

Mention awards that the family wants publicized. Some awards are sensitive. Ask family members which details they want shared and verify spellings and dates to prevent mistakes.