How to Write a Eulogy for Your Sista - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Saying goodbye to your sista feels like carrying two things at once. There is the weight of grief and the urge to get something right for family and friends. This guide breaks the process into simple steps, gives real examples you can adapt, and offers delivery tips that actually work. We explain terms so nothing feels confusing and include fill in the blank templates you can steal and personalize.

Who this guide is for

This is for anyone who is called on to speak about their sister at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service. Maybe you are her sibling who talks easy, or maybe you were chosen because you lived closest to her. Maybe your relationship was messy. All of that is fine. There are sample scripts for short, funny, tender, and complicated situations.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech given at a funeral or memorial that honors the person who died. It is personal, not a list of facts. An obituary is a written notice that usually includes basic facts like dates and service details. A eulogy is the story you tell about how your sister made life different, better, or messier in the best possible way.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A written notice of a death that usually includes biographical details and service times.
• Order of service The schedule for the event listing speakers, music, and readings. Think of it as the program.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. They are often close family or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memories rather than rituals.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life near the end of life. It can happen at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and clear is better than long and vague. Aim for three to seven minutes. That usually equals four hundred to eight hundred spoken words. If you are nervous about crying, a shorter tribute can be more powerful than a long one that loses focus.

Before you start writing

Take a breath first. Then use this quick plan.

• Confirm time Ask the family or officiant how long you should speak and where your piece fits in the order of service.
• Choose tone Decide if the mood should be solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix. Check with family so your choice fits the gathering.
• Gather memories Collect specific stories, nicknames, habits, and favorite sayings. Ask cousins or friends for one memory each.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about your sister. Three points give shape without weight.

Structure that works

Use a simple shape to keep the eulogy steady.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one clear sentence to set the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of her life using roles like daughter, sister, friend, worker, artist, or parent.
• Anecdotes Share one or two short stories that show her personality. Keep them specific and sensory.
• Traits and lessons Summarize what she taught you or what people will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a favorite quote, or a call to action like sharing a memory after the service.

How to write the opening

Start simple. Say your name and your relationship. Then give one true sentence about your sister that points the audience in a direction.

Opening examples

• Hi everyone. I am Tasha and I am Keisha s older sister. Today we are here to remember the way she made every party feel like an invitation to be louder and kinder.
• Good afternoon. I am Marcus. My sister Dana could knit a sweater while texting and solving life s problems. That was her superpower.
• Hello. I am Lena. My sister taught me how to throw a pot of stew and how to stand up when someone treats you wrong. I learned both from watching her act, not from hearing lectures.

Writing the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that support the story you want to tell. Use plain language and avoid listing every job. Focus on roles and moments that shaped her life and your relationship.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] grew up in [place]. She worked as [job] and loved [hobby]. She was a daughter, a sister, and a friend who would always check in after midnight.
• [Name] moved to [city] when she was [age or life stage]. She made friends easily, loved karaoke, and never missed a neighborhood block party.

Anecdotes that matter

People remember stories more than statements. A good anecdote has a setup, an action, and a payoff that explains why the moment matters. Keep them short and sensory.

Examples of short anecdotes

• When she was twenty she insisted on driving across the state with three plants in the trunk. By the time we arrived the plants were alive and we had three new friends who shared snacks with us. That was how she found joy in small things.
• She had a ritual at family dinners. Whoever burned the garlic bread had to sing the toast song. We burned a lot of garlic bread and we sang a lot of terrible songs. It made every meal louder and lovelier.
• On the worst days she brought me a single cup of coffee and a ridiculous compliment. She believed small kindnesses carry big love.

Addressing complicated relationships

If your relationship with your sister was complicated you can still speak honestly and respectfully. You do not need to air private grievances. Acknowledge tension and point to growth, reconciliation, or the lessons you carry forward.

Examples for complicated relationships

• We did not always get along. We argued about who would drive, who would speak up, and who would let things go. Over time we learned to listen. I am grateful for the way we found each other in the end.
• She could be stubborn and she made mistakes. She also showed me how to say sorry and how to stand up for myself. Those were messy lessons and they were real gifts.
• We had distance for a while. In the last year we wrote letters that were awkward and honest. That became our way to say I love you without a lot of fanfare.

Using humor

Humor can break tension and let people breathe. Use small earned jokes that reveal character. Avoid anything that embarrasses the deceased or singles out someone in the room.

Safe humor examples

• She had one rule about laundry. If you folded it wrong she would teach you again until you got it right. We all left her house with better folding skills and slightly more shame.
• My sister believed in running late as a lifestyle choice. She liked to call it being fashionably late. We all learned to schedule her for thirty minutes after the start time.

What to avoid

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a therapy session or an airing of unresolved family fights.
• Avoid gossip or private family secrets that could hurt people present.
• Avoid reading long lists of jobs or awards without adding a story to humanize them.
• Avoid cliches without specifics. If you say she was kind show one small example that proves it.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Each example below follows the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and read out loud to edit for tone and timing.

Example 1: Short and tender, about three minutes

Hello. I am Priya and I am Alisha s sister. Alisha loved the color yellow, strong tea, and neighborhood gossip that she treated like national news. She worked at the library and believed that a good book could save a bad day. One small thing that shows her was how she treated dicey weekends. If a friend needed a couch or a pizza she would show up with both and a tired smile. She taught me how to be loyal without needing praise. I will miss her texts that started with a joke and ended with a check in. Thank you for being here to hold her memory with us.

Example 2: Funny with heart, about four minutes

Hi everyone. I am Omar. My sister Jazmine was convinced she had a sixth sense for where the best tacos are. She was usually right. She could find joy in terribly small things like a clean apartment or a plant that did not die within a week of adoption. One time she got a job that required too many suits. She solved that by wearing a backup pair of sneakers all day and changing in the bathroom like a superhero. She taught me to work hard and to never underestimate a good pair of sneakers. We will miss her taco tips and her stubborn optimism. Eat a taco for Jaz this week if you can.

Example 3: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful, about three minutes

My name is Jordan. My sister Maya and I had seasons of distance. We fought about small things and avoided bigger conversations. In the end we found a way to sit together without pretending everything was perfect. She taught me that not everything fixed needs to be perfect to matter. I am thankful for the times we got real with each other and for the last year when we talked more than we had in a decade. I will carry her stubborn love with me.

Example 4: Celebration of life tone with humor and ritual, about five minutes

Hey. I am Kendra, youngest sister. If you ever met Simone you know she had two major rules. Rule one was do not ever call her in the morning unless you had a good reason. Rule two was always eat dessert first at the family potluck. She loved a weird rule and she loved every person who followed it. Today we celebrate her rule bending, her terrible dance moves, and her enormous heart. We will laugh, we will cry, and then we will go eat dessert in her honor.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates to get started. Fill the blanks and then edit to make language sound like you.

Template A Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [sister brother sibling] to [Name]. [Name] was born in [place or year]. She loved [one hobby or interest], she worked as [job], and she was the one we called when we needed [small task or habit]. One memory that shows who she was is [brief story]. She taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.

Template B For complicated relationships

Hi. I am [Your Name]. My relationship with [Name] was not simple. We argued and we made up and sometimes we cut each other off. Over time I learned [something true you learned]. In the last [months years] we [reconnected spoke often found peace]. If I could say one thing to her today it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C Light and funny

Hey. I am [Your Name]. To know [Name] was to know [quirky habit]. She also made sure we learned [life practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. Even her jokes had work to do and they often did. I will miss her laugh and the way she made even bad days feel a little less bad. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These tactics keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to handle if your hands shake.
• Use cue cards Small cards with one or two lines on each card help you keep place.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where a laugh will land. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend or to a mirror. Practicing trains your voice and your throat.
• Bring tissues and water Both are practical. If your voice breaks slow down and breathe.
• Ask for backup If you think you might not finish have a friend stand by to complete a closing line if needed.

What to do if you start crying

Tears are normal. Pause, breathe, glance at your notes, then continue. If you need a moment sit down and breathe. The room will wait. If you cannot continue ask the person sitting next to you or the officiant to finish the last one or two lines. Most people will be relieved you were honest enough to start.

Including readings, poems, and music

Short pieces work best. Choose a two to four line excerpt rather than a long poem. Readings can be sacred or secular. Confirm with the officiant. Print the text in the program if possible so people can follow or take it home.

Music tips

• Pick songs your sister loved or songs that match the tone of the event.
• If a live performer is not available ask the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers.
• Keep music short and place it where it supports the speech such as a quiet moment after an emotional line.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or plan to hand out printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the program in case they need it for printing or timing.

After the eulogy

People will likely ask for a copy. Offer to email it or to add it to a memory book. Some families include the text in the program. You can record the audio and share it privately if the family agrees. That recording can comfort relatives who could not attend.

Checklist before you step up

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a bottle of water.
• Tell one family member you might need a moment and arrange a small signal if you want them to finish a thought.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket. Usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories and photos.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life.
• RSVP Please respond to an invitation so hosts know who is coming.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to your sister. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Name] sibling gives context and a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you when you begin.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to step in. A short note that someone else can pick up helps in that moment.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes, small earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes that are based on real memories and test them with a trusted friend. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members.

How long should a eulogy be

Aim for three to seven minutes. Shorter talks are often more memorable. If several people are speaking coordinate times so the event stays on schedule.

Should I include religious language if the family is not religious

Only if it was meaningful to your sister or the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories. You can include a brief reading that matches the family s beliefs instead of prayer language.

Is it okay to record and share the eulogy online

Check with family before posting. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved add a short note about where any donations will go or how people can share memories with the family.