How to Write a Eulogy for Your Sibling In Law - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for a brother in law or sister in law often feels complicated and necessary at the same time. They might have been family by marriage, a close friend, or someone you had a polite relationship with. This guide gives you a clear way in plus real examples and fill in the blank templates you can use right away. We explain terms in plain language and include delivery tips that actually help when emotions are raw.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about a sibling in law at a funeral or memorial. Maybe you were the one who shared a joke with them at holidays. Maybe you saw them more than your own cousins. Maybe you had a difficult relationship. That is okay. You will find samples for short, funny, tender, and honest remarks.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors someone who has died. It is usually part of a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life. A eulogy is personal. It is a chance to tell a story about the person and to help others remember them. An obituary is different. An obituary is a written notice that gives basic facts like birth and death dates, survivors, and service info. The eulogy is your voice in the room.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A written notice about a death. It often appears in newspapers or online and lists basic details.
• Order of service A simple schedule of the funeral or memorial that lists music, readings, and speakers.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memory sharing.
• Officiant The person who leads the service. That could be a clergy member, a funeral celebrant, or a family friend.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end. Hospice is about support rather than cure.

How long should a eulogy for a sibling in law be

Short and clear usually works best. Aim for three to five minutes. That is roughly 400 to 700 spoken words. If multiple people are speaking, check the total time so the service stays on track. A focused two minute tribute is often more meaningful than a long speech that loses shape.

Before you start writing

Do a little prep to make the rest easier.

• Ask about time Confirm how long you are expected to speak and where your remarks fit in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? Check with immediate family when you are unsure.
• Collect memories Reach out to spouses, siblings, and friends for one short story each. Small details are gold.
• Pick three things to remember Choose three qualities or stories you want people to leave with. Three is easy to hold and gives your speech shape.

How to pick the right tone

Your relationship to the sibling in law should guide tone. If you were close, you can be warmer and include gentle humor. If your relationship was more formal, keep it respectful and concise. If the family had tensions, ask which stories are appropriate to share. Honest and kind usually wins every time.

Simple structure that works

Use a clear structure so the audience can follow along. This shape is easy to adapt.

• Opening Say your name and your relationship to the person. That gives context for people who may not know you.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of who they were. Keep it to a few lines and focus on roles that mattered to them.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that show character. Specific is better than general.
• Traits and lessons Summarize what they taught or what people will miss.
• Closing Offer a short goodbye line, a favorite quote, or a call to remember them in a small way.

Writing the opening

The opening should be simple. Start with your name and how you knew them. Then offer one clear sentence that sets the tone.

Opening examples

• Hello. I am Jamie. I was Alex s brother in law and I want to share one small story about how he loved to host way too many barbecue nights.
• Hi everyone. I am Priya. I am Sarah s sister in law. She made every holiday feel like a private comedy show and we are here to laugh and remember.
• Good afternoon. My name is Marcus. I married into this family and I owe Ben for teaching me how to fix a leaky faucet and how to tell a bad joke with confidence.

How to write the life sketch

Keep the life sketch brief. Mention jobs or roles only if they matter to the story you are telling. Focus on what made them who they were in your life.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] grew up in [place] and later moved to [city]. They worked as [job] and loved [hobby]. They were a partner to [name], a parent to [names], and a friend to many.
• [Name] had a way of making ordinary things feel special. They collected [object] and they never missed a chance to [habit].

Anecdotes that land

Stories matter more than lists. Choose anecdotes with a clear setup and payoff. Keep them short and sensory. The goal is to reveal character in a moment.

Good anecdote examples

• At our first family dinner, they arrived with a mysterious casserole and a promise to save the dessert for the kids. They ate the dessert themselves and then winked when no one was looking. That was classic them.
• When my car broke down in the snow, they showed up with a tow rope, a thermos of coffee, and a playlist of terrible 80s songs. They stayed until the engine warmed up and the music was worse than the cold.
• They never learned how to fold fitted sheets. Instead they made it a sport and turned it into a laughing competition every laundry day. It was ridiculous and somehow perfect.

Addressing complicated family dynamics

Siblings in law can bring messy history. If your relationship was complicated, you can still speak honestly and with respect. Acknowledge complexity without dragging private conflict into a public room. Focus on closure, lessons, or gratitude for what healed.

Examples for complex relationships

• We did not always agree. There were seasons of distance and seasons of laughter. In the last year we found a way back to each other and I am grateful for that time.
• They could be blunt and direct. That sometimes led to arguments. It also meant I always knew where I stood. I learned to take them at face value and to appreciate their honesty.
• We were never perfect but we loved each other. That is a good enough thing to remember today.

Using humor the right way

Light, earned humor can ease the room. Use small jokes that come from real moments. Avoid sarcasm that might embarrass the family or single out someone in the audience. Test a joke on a trusted friend if you are unsure.

Safe humor examples

• They were a terrible gardener but a great provider of plant selfies. If you watered their plants for them you got the satisfaction of a photo and not a leaf.
• They had a routine called emergency snacks. If you were sad they would appear with chips and an ability to make the worst jokes feel like medicine.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid airing family arguments or private grievances in public.
• Avoid long lists of facts without stories to make them human.
• Avoid jokes that could be taken as mean or that depend on inside insults.
• Avoid reading the entire obituary verbatim unless the family requests it.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Pick the example closest to your situation and personalize it. Replace bracketed text with details that are true for your person.

Example 1 Close brother in law, warm and honest, three to four minute version

Hello. My name is Erin and I am David s sister in law. David was the kind of person who showed up early to everything and stayed late just to make sure the dishes were done. He loved comic books, terrible coffee, and he could tell a story that started small and ended with everyone on the floor laughing.

One time he decided we needed a camping trip within an hour of planning. There was no map, we almost forgot the tent, and he insisted that singing loudly would keep the bears away. We did not see a single bear but we found a new favorite trail and his playlist for lost people. That is David summed up perfectly. He turned chaos into a memory.

He taught me to be brave about trying new things and to apologize fast when I messed up. He was a partner to Lena, a father to Emma, and a friend to anyone who needed a laugh. We will miss his playlist, his ridiculous puns, and the way he made holidays feel like a long group hug. Thank you for being here and for holding his memory with us.

Example 2 Sister in law who was more friend than family, two minute version

Hi everyone. I am Sam. I called Michelle my sister in law and my best friend. She knew my coffee order, my worst jokes, and how to make a bad day tolerable. She showed me how to ask for help and how to say yes to dessert even when you had already eaten dinner. Her laugh was loud and healing and we are better for having known it. Thank you for being here to celebrate her.

Example 3 Complicated relationship, honest and respectful

My name is Naveen. My relationship with Laura was complicated. We argued about small things and then found a way to talk late into the night about bigger ones. In the end she gave me permission to be my own person. That mattered. I am grateful for the lessons and for the times we did find common ground. She taught me to stand up for what I believe in and to forgive myself quickly. Thank you, Laura.

Example 4 Light and funny celebration of life tone

Hello. I am Zoe. If you knew Mark you know he had three talents. First he could burn toast with absolute consistency. Second he could tell dad jokes that made toddlers question the meaning of humor. Third he could make you feel welcome with a sandwich and an opinion. Today we laugh because that is what he would want. Please share your worst joke and raise a toast to the man who taught us how to laugh badly and loudly.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates as a starting point. Read your draft out loud and trim anything that feels forced.

Template A Classic short tribute

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Name s] [sister brother in law]. [Name] loved [hobby], they worked as [job], and they were the person who always [small habit]. One memory that shows who they were is [brief story]. They taught me [lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here with us today.

Template B For complicated relationships

I am [Your Name]. My relationship with [Name] was not simple. We had disagreements about [small example], and we also shared [positive memory]. In the last [months years] we [reconciled spent time together found understanding]. If I could say one thing to them now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C Funny and sincere

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Name] was to know their talent for [quirky habit]. They also made sure we knew how to [practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. Even their mistakes were entertaining. I will miss their laughter and their exacting method for arguing about pizza toppings. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

• Print your speech Use large font so you can see it if your hands shake.
• Use cue cards Index cards with one thought per card help you stay on track.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or let the room react.
• Practice out loud Read it to a friend or to yourself. Speaking gives you a sense of timing.
• Bring tissues Have a handkerchief or tissues handy. It is okay to cry.
• Arrange a backup Ask a family member to be ready to finish a sentence if you need them to.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth. Speak slowly and clearly.

What to do if you start crying

If tears come, breathe and pause. Take a sip of water if you need to. Look down at your notes and continue when you are ready. If you cannot continue, signal your backup person to finish. People understand grief and will give you the space you need.

Including readings, poems, or music

Short pieces work best. Pick a two to four line poem excerpt or a short lyric that mattered to them. Check with the officiant before you include anything religious or copyrighted. If you plan music between speakers let the person running the service know the exact track and length.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone or a podium.
• Confirm where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your remarks to the person running the order of service in case they want to print it in the program or keep a backup.

After the eulogy

People may ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family and friends. Some families put eulogies into memory books or the funeral program. If you recorded the audio, ask the family before sharing it online. Some families prefer privacy.

Checklist before you speak

• Confirm your time limit with family or the officiant.
• Print your speech with a backup copy.
• Practice out loud at least three times.
• Mark breathing and emotional beats in your text.
• Bring tissue and a glass of water if allowed.
• Tell someone you might need help and arrange a signal if you want them to step in.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given to honor someone who has died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
• Officiant The person who leads a funeral or memorial.
• Order of service The plan for the event listing the sequence of readings and music.
• Celebration of life A less formal event that focuses on stories and memories.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort for someone nearing the end of life.
• RSVP Abbreviation for the French phrase respond s il vous plait meaning please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy for a sibling in law if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to the person. A simple line like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Name] s sister in law gives the audience context and helps you breathe. Practice that opening until it feels familiar.

What if I forget my place or cry and cannot continue

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. Have a designated person ready to step in. A short note that someone else can finish from helps in that case.

Can I include humor in a eulogy for a sibling in law

Yes small earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes grounded in real stories and avoid anything that might embarrass the family. Follow a light joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone.

How do I handle a strained relationship in my eulogy

Be honest without being hurtful. Acknowledge complexity and focus on any reconciliations or lessons you can honestly share. You do not need to air grievances in public.

Is it okay to read from a phone

Yes but beware of distractions like notifications and low screen contrast. Many people prefer printed pages or index cards because they are easier to manage when emotions run high.

How long should my eulogy be

Aim for three to five minutes. Shorter remarks often have more impact. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times so the service stays on schedule.