How to Write a Eulogy for Your Sibling - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for a brother or sister can feel like walking a tightrope between grief and wanting to get it right. You want to honor them, tell a true story, and help the room breathe for a few minutes. This guide gives a simple structure, relatable examples, fill in templates, and clear delivery advice so you can write something honest and memorable. We explain terms in plain language and offer options for every kind of sibling relationship.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about a sibling at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, or online remembrance. Maybe you were the obvious pick because you were closest, or maybe you are the sibling who can speak when others cannot. Maybe your relationship was complicated. There are scripts for funny, tender, messy, short, and religious or nonreligious tones.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a spoken tribute given at a funeral or memorial that remembers and honors someone who has died. It is personal and story based. It is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that shares basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is your voice and your memories shared with others.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details and basic biography.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial listing readings, music, and speakers. Think of it as the program for the event.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to help carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and personal memory rather than rituals.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end. Hospice care can be provided at home or in a facility.
• RSVP This stands for respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to request attendance confirmation.

How long should a sibling eulogy be

Short and focused is usually stronger than long and rambling. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is roughly four hundred to eight hundred spoken words. If you are nervous about crying, a two minute eulogy can be powerful and kinder on your voice. If many people will speak, coordinate so the whole service stays within the planned time.

Quick plan before you start writing

• Ask about time Confirm how long you should speak and where you fit into the order of service.
• Pick the tone Decide if you want to be solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix. Check with close family so it fits the person and the audience.
• Gather stories Ask parents, friends, or cousins for one memory each. One or two specific stories are better than a list of traits.
• Choose two or three focus points Pick two or three things you want people to remember about your sibling. Those points give your speech shape and make it easier to write.

Structure that works for siblings

Use a simple shape so you and the audience have something familiar to hold onto.

• Opening Say who you are and your relationship. Offer one clear sentence that sets the tone.
• Short life sketch Give a brief overview of their life in human terms. Mention roles like child, sibling, friend, worker, hobbyist, or parent if relevant.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that show who they were. Keep them sensory and specific.
• What they taught you or what people will miss Sum up the lessons, quirks, or gifts they left behind.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, short poem excerpt, a quote, or a call to action like sharing a memory after the service.

How to open the eulogy

The opening only needs to do two things. Say who you are and why you are speaking. Then give one small sentence that tells the audience what this talk will do. Keep it natural and short.

Opening examples

• Hi. I am Alex, Kate s older brother. Today I want to say something about how she made every late night feel like an adventure.
• Hello. I m Jamal, his sister. Growing up with Marcus meant there was always a joke and sometimes a scraped knee. I am grateful for both.
• My name is Priya. I am Maya s sibling. I will share two small stories that show how she loved fiercely and loudly.

Writing a short life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for the story you are telling. Use plain language. Avoid a laundry list unless you follow each item with a brief story that makes it human.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] grew up in [place]. They worked as [job] and loved [hobby]. They were a sibling, a friend, and someone who always did [habit].
• [Name] moved to [city] to study or work. They collected [objects], loved [music or food], and never missed a chance to [small memorable habit].

Anecdotes that stick

Stories are what people remember. Pick one or two with a clear setup and a small payoff. Keep them under a minute when spoken. Sensory detail helps. Show, do not list.

Short anecdote examples

• When we were kids Jonas taught me the correct way to stack cereal boxes so they would not collapse. I did not realize at the time that what he was teaching me was patience with details. Years later that patience meant he could fix my car in an afternoon while I watched and learned.
• Sam had this rule for road trips. If you sang along to the playlist you earned a snack. If you refused to sing you had to buy the next round of gas station snacks. She made us all sing and we all came home happier for it.
• Karen had an infectious laugh that made even the worst moments lighter. At the hospital she introduced herself to the overnight nurse by doing a ridiculous handshake. The nurse still talks about it. That is how she made people feel less alone.

How to handle complicated sibling relationships

Not every sibling relationship is uncomplicated. You can be honest and respectful without airing private grievances. Acknowledge complexity, name one truth, and offer a line of gratitude or learning. That is often what people need to hear.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My relationship with Ben was not simple. We fought and we made up. In recent years we found a quieter way to be in each other s lives. I am grateful for that small peace.
• We had hard years. We also shared tiny victories like teaching each other how to cook a proper omelet. Those small wins are what I will hold on to.
• We were different in ways that caused friction. He taught me to speak up and he taught me to listen. Both lessons mattered even when they hurt.

When humor works

Humor can be a gift at a funeral. Use small earned jokes that reveal character. Avoid jokes that single out or embarrass someone present. Test your jokes on a trusted friend first.

Safe humor examples

• He had a collection of novelty socks and used them like a statement piece. If you ever met him you may still remember his socks before his name.
• She called herself a plant whisperer though most of her plants would disagree. She could keep a cactus alive and somehow also talk to ferns into growing.

What to avoid in a sibling eulogy

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a therapy session. This is not the space for private disputes.
• Avoid gossip or exposing secrets that could hurt people present.
• Avoid excessively long lists of jobs and achievements without human stories to ground them.
• Avoid cliches unless you immediately add a specific detail that makes them true.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples to personalize. Replace bracketed text with your details and practice reading them out loud.

Example 1: Older sibling, gentle and short 3 to 4 minutes

Hello. I am Sam, her older brother. It is an honor to say a few words about my sister, Emma.

Emma grew up two houses down from our grandparents and moved back home for a few months after college. She worked as a teacher and loved turning boring history facts into stories you wanted to hear. She was the sibling who always showed up with snacks and a ridiculous playlist for long drives.

One small story that shows who she was happened last summer. Our family was painting the fence and Emma insisted we take a break to make popcorn on a tiny grill. We thought she was overreacting until everyone ended up laughing at a bad joke she told and the fence got painted faster than expected. That was Emma s magic. She knew when people needed a break and she made it fun.

She taught me patience, how to make a mean grilled cheese, and how to say sorry first. We will miss her warm texts, the way she called every Saturday to check in, and her habit of leaving notes on the fridge. Thank you for being here and for holding her memory with us.

Example 2: Younger sibling, funny and loving, under two minutes

Hi everyone. I am Marcus and I was Jonah s older sister by eight minutes and by temperament for life. Jonah loved beat up sneakers, terrible puns, and being first in line for movie previews. He also had a way of making strangers into friends within three sentences.

My favorite Jonah moment is when he tried to teach our cat to high five. The cat did not cooperate but Jonah laughed anyway. He taught me that trying and laughing is better than being perfect. Thank you for standing with us today as we remember him.

Example 3: Complicated relationship with honesty and love

My name is Leah. My relationship with my brother Michael was complicated. There were years we did not speak. There were years we could not stop laughing. In the last few years we started to rebuild. He told me things he never had before and we shared small rituals like Friday night takeout. Those late night conversations mattered more than I knew at the time. I am grateful for the second chance to be in his life.

Example 4: Celebration of life tone with humor and warmth

Hello. I am Noor, the eldest of three. If you met Adam you knew two things right away. He loved terrible science fiction novels and he made the best pancakes on a Sunday. He had a rule about pancakes which was basically trust and eat. Today we celebrate the pancake breakfasts, the road trips, and the small ways he made our days better. Please laugh with us as we remember his messy, brilliant self.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates to jump start your writing. Fill in the brackets and then edit until it sounds like you.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Sibling s name] sibling. [Sibling s name] was born in [place or year]. They loved [hobby], worked as [job], and were the person you could call at three in the morning for [small thing]. One memory that shows who they were is [brief story]. They taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.

Template B: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Sibling s name] was complicated. We did not always get along and there were things we did not say for a long time. Over the past [months years] we found small ways to be in each other s lives. If I could say one thing to them now it would be [short line you want to say]. I am grateful for that time and for what I learned from them.

Template C: Short and funny

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Sibling s name] was to know [quirky habit]. They also taught me [life practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. I will miss their jokes and the small rituals that made us a family. Thank you for being here to remember them with us.

Delivery tips for speaking while grieving

Talking while sad is hard. These practical tactics help you stay steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is less distracting than a tiny phone screen when emotions run high.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines per card reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket or underline where you want to breathe or where the audience will laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, to your dog, or to a mirror. Practice helps your throat know the rhythm of the words.
• Bring tissues and water Keep a small cloth or tissues on hand and a bottle of water to clear your voice.
• Arrange backup If you think you might not finish, pick someone to introduce you and to have a line ready to finish if needed.
• Use the mic well Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If there is no mic project to the back of the room with measured breaths.

What to do if you start to cry

It is okay to cry. Pause, breathe, look down at your notes, and then continue. Slow down your words. Tell one or two fewer sentences if needed. The room will wait. If you truly cannot continue a trusted family member can pick up the closing line.

Including readings, poems, or music

Short readings work best. If you include a poem pick a two to four line excerpt rather than a long piece. Readings can be secular or religious depending on the family. Confirm with the officiant and offer the text for the printed program if possible.

Music tips

• Pick songs your sibling loved or songs that match the tone of the event.
• If live music is not possible ask the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers.
• Keep music short and place it where it supports the speech such as a brief interlude or a song before the eulogy.

Logistics and etiquette

• Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone or a place to set notes.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they need it for the program.
• Ask before posting a recording online. Some families want privacy. If sharing is approved include a short note about how people can donate or leave memories.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and water.
• Tell a family member you might need a moment and arrange a small signal if you want them to finish if needed.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details and a short biography.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing readings, music, and speakers.
• Pallbearer A person selected to carry the casket. They are typically family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories, photos, and sharing memories.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end. It can be provided at home or in a facility.
• RSVP An abbreviation asking guests to please respond to an invitation to confirm attendance.
• Grief counseling Professional support to help people process loss and adapt to life after someone dies.
• Cremation The process of reducing a body to ashes. Families may choose burial after cremation or keep the ashes in an urn.
• Burial The placement of a body in the ground usually in a cemetery plot. Ceremonies vary by culture and religion.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to the sibling. A short opening like Hi I am [Your Name] and I am [Sibling s name] sibling gives context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.

What if I forget my place or cannot stop crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue ask a designated family member or friend to finish a line for you. Having a short note that someone else can pick up from helps in this scenario.

Should I include religious language if the family is not religious

Only if it was meaningful to your sibling or the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors character and memories. You can include a short poem or reading that matches the family s beliefs instead of religious phrasing.

Can I use humor in a eulogy for a sibling

Yes small earned humor often helps people breathe. Use jokes rooted in true stories and avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members. Follow a joke with a sincere sentence to reconnect the tone.

How long should I practice

Practice reading your eulogy aloud at least three times. Practice helps you find a natural rhythm and identify spots where you may need to pause or breathe. Practicing with a friend who can give honest feedback is helpful.

Should I give a copy of the eulogy to the funeral home or officiant

Yes. Providing a copy helps the officiant and the person running the service stay on schedule and makes it easy to include the text in the printed program or memory book.