How to Write a Eulogy for Your Second Cousin - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Being asked to speak about a second cousin can feel weirdly high pressure and oddly intimate at the same time. Maybe you were close as kids, maybe you only reconnected on social media, or maybe you barely knew them but the family asked you to step up. This guide walks you through how to write something honest and usable. We explain relationship terms so you know where you stand. We give templates you can copy and personalize. We give tips for tone and delivery so you do not overthink the moment.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone tasked with giving a eulogy or tribute for a second cousin at a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life. If you are a millennial who grew up with long family trees on holidays or who has mostly digital memories through texts and tagged photos, this guide gives concrete ways to turn those memories into a short meaningful speech.

What is a second cousin and why it matters in a eulogy

Relationships can be a little confusing. A second cousin is the child of your parent s first cousin. In other words you and your second cousin share great grandparents but not grandparents. That makes the connection real but usually less day to day than with a sibling or first cousin.

Why mention it in the eulogy? Saying you are a second cousin sets the context for the audience and helps them understand your perspective. It also lets you explain why your memories might come from a particular time in life like summer reunions, one road trip, or a season of shared hobbies.

Terms you will see and what they mean

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who died. It focuses on memories not just facts.
• Obituary A written notice about a death that usually includes basic biography and service information.
• Order of service The schedule for the event listing who speaks and when. Think of it as the program for the ceremony.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often emphasizes stories, photos, and music.
• Pallbearer Someone chosen to carry the casket, usually close family or friends.
• RSVP Short for respond s il vous plait which means please respond to an invitation.
• RIP Short for rest in peace. It is a common phrase used online and in casual condolence messages.

How long should a eulogy for a second cousin be

Short and specific wins. Aim for two to five minutes. That translates to roughly 300 to 700 spoken words. If you are one of many speakers keep it toward the shorter side so the service stays on schedule.

Deciding the right tone

Tone depends on two things. One the personality of the person who died and two the expectations of the family. If your second cousin was the life of every family party a celebratory tone may be perfect. If the family is very private a quieter respectful tone is better. If you are unsure ask a close relative or the person organizing the service.

Before you start writing

• Confirm logistics Ask how long you can speak and where your speech fits in the order of service.
• Ask for guidance Check if the family wants humor, strictly sentimental content, or certain stories left out.
• Gather material Pull texts photos comments on social media and ask other relatives for one memory each.
• Choose three points Pick three small things the audience should remember about your second cousin like their laugh their favorite hobby and one kind thing they did.

Structure that works for shorter family relationships

When you do not have decades of close memories structure helps. Use this simple shape.

• Opening Say who you are and your connection. Keep it one line.
• Short life sketch A few sentences about who they were and what mattered to them.
• One to three anecdotes Short stories that show personality. Even a digital memory like a text thread counts.
• What they taught One or two short lessons or qualities people will remember.
• Closing A goodbye sentence or brief quote and a thank you to the audience.

How to pick memories when you were not very close

Not everyone who speaks is a lifelong best friend. That is okay. Use what you have and be honest about the limits. Small observations are valid. Things like a shared vacation a text exchange a running joke or a photo can be the seed of a meaningful anecdote. If your memory is limited say so. Honesty builds trust and it keeps the speech simple.

Example openings when you were not very close

• Hi I am Jamal. I am Maya s second cousin. We grew up at the same big family reunions and I always remember how she was the first person to start a game whenever the adults lingered too long at the grill.
• Hello everyone. I am Zoe. I did not see Alex every year but when we ran into each other he would pick up right where we left off like a bookmark in a good book.

Anecdote examples you can adapt

Anecdotes do not have to be dramatic. In fact small sensory details land better than sweeping statements.

• The summer we were twelve Maya painted her sneakers bright yellow. She refused to wear anything that did not look like sunshine. Years later I found a photo of those shoes and I realized she made sure everyone noticed joy even in tiny things.
• Alex taught himself to bake during quarantine. He left those sourdough starter jars with neighbors and wrote notes about how to care for them like he was sharing a piece of himself. That felt like the kind of generosity he had quietly.
• Once at a family wedding our second cousin Sam performed a surprise karaoke of a song nobody expected. It was messy and perfect and it made everyone leave the table to dance.

Templates you can copy and personalize

Replace bracketed text with your details and edit so it sounds like you.

Template A short and simple

Hello my name is [Your Name]. I am [Deceased s Name] second cousin. We shared summer weekends at family get togethers and one thing I always noticed about [Name] was [small trait]. One quick story that shows that is [short anecdote]. I will remember [Name] for [quality or memory]. Thank you for letting me share.

Template B for someone you knew mainly online or later in life

Hi I am [Your Name]. I reconnected with [Name] through social media a few years ago. We traded recipes and memes and a few honest messages during a tough month. What struck me was [quality]. One message I will keep reads [short text excerpt]. I am grateful for that connection even if it was brief.

Template C for a celebratory tone

Hello everyone. I am [Your Name]. If you ever met [Name] you know they loved [hobby or party habit]. My clearest memory is [fun story]. They made us laugh and reminded us to take chances. Let s keep that spirit alive today by sharing a quick laugh or a memory after the service.

Full examples to adapt

Example 1 short and sentimental

Hi I am Mina and I am Omar s second cousin. Omar and I were close as kids because our families lived next door during summers. He had a quiet way of paying attention. At nine he taught me to skip stones and he was so proud when I finally got it right that he ran home to tell his mom. That is the kind of person he was. He celebrated small wins for other people. I will miss Omar s steady presence and the way he could make a messy day feel okay. Thank you for being here.

Example 2 brief and celebratory

Hello I am Marcus. I did not grow up with Lena but we bonded over the terrible early aughts playlists she loved. At her last birthday she made a ridiculously bad but unforgettable mixed tape for everyone and we danced in the kitchen until the neighbors complained. Lena wanted color in everything. Today we remember that color and that joy.

Example 3 honest if you barely knew them

My name is Priya. I am Rohan s second cousin. I did not see him much but when we ran into each other he would always ask about the small things like whether I was sleeping enough. That was it. He noticed people. I am grateful for that. Sometimes the quiet attention is what people need the most.

Example 4 for a complicated family situation

Hi everyone. I am Ethan and I am Claire s second cousin. Our family did not always get along but Claire had a stubborn streak that made her generous in ways you would not expect. We had disagreements that took years to resolve but in the end we found a way to be honest with one another. I remember one late night call when we both apologized and laughed until we cried. I will hold that repair as proof that difficult people can also be kind.

How to use humor safely

Humor helps people breathe during grief. Use small earned jokes rooted in real things the person did. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the audience. If you are unsure leave out the risky jokes and keep the lighter memories that everyone can smile at.

Delivery tips

• Print your notes Use a printed copy with large font and a backup on your phone just in case.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy at least three times. It calms your breathing and helps with emotional beats.
• Pause Mark places to breathe and to let an anecdote land. Pauses feel intentional and help you collect yourself.
• Bring tissues Pack a small handkerchief or tissues. If your voice breaks slow down and keep going one line at a time.
• Ask for help Arrange a signal with a family member who can finish a line if you need them to.
• Mind the mic Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak clearly. If no mic project your voice slowly so people can follow.

What to avoid

• Do not turn the speech into a family argument. Keep private conflicts off the podium.
• Do not list accomplishments without adding stories that make them human.
• Do not read a long script if you will likely lose your place. Short and sincere is better.
• Do not use someone else s jokes or stories without permission.

Logistics and etiquette

• Confirm your time and placement with the person running the service.
• Ask whether they want the eulogy recorded or included in the program.
• Check in with the immediate family about what is appropriate to mention.
• If you will include a reading or song confirm any copyright rules with the venue.

How to include photos or digital memories

Many millennial families rely on phones for memories. If you have a great photo coordinate with whoever is managing slides to include it. Short video clips of the person from social media work too. Keep media short and clear so the focus remains on people not on long montages.

After you speak

People will likely ask for a copy. Offer to email your text to family members and friends who asked. Some families put spoken remarks into memory books. A simple recorded audio file can also be a comfort to people who could not attend.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Second cousin The child of your parent s cousin. You share great grandparents but not grandparents.
• Once removed A phrase that indicates a difference in generation. For example your second cousin once removed could be the child of your second cousin or the second cousin of your parent.
• Eulogy A short speech honoring someone who has died.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death that usually includes service details.
• Order of service The event program that lists who speaks and when.
• Celebration of life A less formal event focused on stories music and photos.
• RIP Short for rest in peace often used in messages or in social posts.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy for a second cousin if I am nervous

Start with your name and your relationship. A simple line like Hello I am [Your Name] and I am [Deceased s Name] second cousin gives the audience context and buys you a breath. Then say one small true sentence about them. Practice that opening until it feels steady.

What if I do not have many memories

Be honest about the limits and use what you have. Talk about shared family events or a single small scene that stands out. You can also share something you learned about them from others and credit the source. Short sincere remarks are better than long filler.

Can I use a poem or song lyric in the eulogy

Yes you can use a short excerpt. Keep it brief and confirm with the family that it fits the tone. If the poem or song is copyrighted using a short excerpt for a live reading is usually fine but check with the venue if they plan to record or broadcast the service.

How do I balance humor and respect

Use humor that is grounded in an affectionate true story. Avoid jokes that might shame the deceased or single out someone in the audience. A light moment followed by a sincere line keeps the tone balanced.

What if I start to cry and cannot continue

Pause and breathe. Look at your notes. If you cannot continue ask a prearranged person to finish a closing sentence. Many people expect emotion and will be patient. Short planned sentences help you return to the thread of the speech.

Should I give a copy of the eulogy to the family or funeral home

Yes. Giving a copy helps the officiant and the person running the service stay on schedule and allows the family to include it in a printed program or memory book if they want to.