How to Write a Eulogy for Your Schoolmate - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for a schoolmate feels raw and confusing and necessary all at once. You want to say the right things for your friend, teammate, or classmate. You want to honor who they were without pretending you knew everything about their life. This guide gives a clear approach, real examples you can adapt, and delivery tips that actually help when emotions are high. We explain terms you might not know and give templates so you can start writing immediately.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about a schoolmate at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, campus vigil, or graduation tribute. Maybe you were their roommate, lab partner, teammate, orientation leader, or the person who made them laugh in class. Maybe you were a close friend or someone who admired them from afar. This guide has samples for short and long speeches, for funny tributes, and for complicated feelings.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech given to honor someone who has died. It is a personal reflection that shares memories, stories, and what the person meant to you and other people. A eulogy is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that shares basic facts like birth and death dates and service information. A eulogy is your voice in the room.

Terms you might see and what they mean

• Obituary A written announcement about a death that usually includes basic biographical details and service times.
• Visitation A time when people can gather to offer condolences and view the body if a viewing is planned. It is often informal and quieter than the service.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, music, photos, and personal memories rather than ritual.
• Memorial A service for remembering someone that may happen with or without a body present.
• Vigil A short gathering, sometimes on campus, for people to light candles or speak informally after a sudden death.
• RIP Short for rest in peace. It is a common phrase people use when expressing sympathy online and in messages.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry a casket during a funeral. This is more common in formal funerals and may not be part of memorials on campus.

How long should a eulogy for a schoolmate be

Short and focused hits harder than long and rambling. Aim for two to seven minutes. That is roughly 250 to 800 words depending on how fast you speak. If the program has several speakers ask about time limits so everyone gets a turn and the schedule stays on track.

Before you start writing

• Ask the organizers about time Confirm how long you should speak and where your remarks fit in the order of events.
• Decide your tone Do you want funny and warm, solemn and brief, or a mix? Check with the family or close friends if you are unsure.
• Collect memories Reach out to classmates, teammates, or roommates and ask for one memory each. Small stories are gold.
• Pick one message Choose one thing you want people to leave remembering about your schoolmate. Keep that as your anchor.
• Be mindful of privacy Avoid sharing private medical details or anything the family would not want made public.

Structure that works

Use a simple shape. It keeps you steady and makes the speech feel complete.

• Opening Say your name and how you knew the person. Offer one sentence that sets the tone.
• Life snapshot Give a quick overview of who they were at school. Mention roles like friend, student, teammate, club leader, or RA.
• Two short anecdotes Pick one or two stories that reveal personality. Keep them specific and sensory.
• What they taught us Say what people will miss and what you learned from them.
• Closing End with a clear goodbye line, a favorite quote, a short poem line, or a call to action like lighting a candle or sharing memories online.

How to find the right stories

People remember stories. A good story has a setup, a moment, and a meaning. For a schoolmate think about the places you saw them most often. Was it the library, the quad, the gym, the studio, or a coffee shop? What did they do that made people smile? Small details make a story breathe. Mention a song they always played, a hoodie they never took off, or the way they corrected grammar in group messages.

Examples of short anecdotes

• Jamie never missed 9 a.m. studio critique. They would show up with a ridiculous snack and a sketch that made everyone pause and laugh. That laugh always made the room feel less nervous.
• When finals hit, Alex made study playlists and delivered cold brew to the library densest corner. They had a way of making last minute panic feel like a group project you could survive together.
• During soccer practice Maya would cheer for both teams. If someone tripped she was the first to offer a hand and a pep talk. She taught us that sportsmanship could be louder than the scoreboard.

Writing for different situations

Not every death looks the same. Below are tone examples you can adapt depending on the circumstance.

1. Sudden or accidental death

When a death is unexpected keep your words grounded. Acknowledge shock. Share one or two specific memories that show who your schoolmate was. Avoid over explaining what happened unless the family has asked you to. Focus on the person not the event.

Sample opening

Hi, I m Sam and I had the privilege of being Nina s lab partner for two semesters. We are all still trying to make sense of what happened. I want to remember how she lit up the lab with her terrible puns and her uncanny ability to save an experiment at the last second.

2. Long illness

When someone was ill for a while it is okay to acknowledge the struggle. Highlight their persistence, humor, or small routines that mattered. People appreciate honesty mixed with dignity.

Sample opening

My name is Jordan and I lived across the hall from Mateo for three years. Even on the tough days he showed up to club meetings with a sarcastic meme and a real question about your week. He taught me endurance and the value of showing up for small things.

3. Complex relationship or not close

If you were not very close you can still offer a meaningful tribute. Speak to what you knew honestly and briefly. Sometimes a short sincere line is better than trying to invent intimacy you did not have.

Sample opening

I m Priya. I was a classmate of Evan s. We were not best friends but we crossed paths in so many first year lectures. What I remember is his habit of handing out granola bars during exam week like he ran a kindness station. That small habit mattered.

4. Suicide or overdose

These are hard and sensitive topics. Follow the family s lead about how much to say. Avoid language that blames. Use phrases like died by suicide or died from an overdose if the family wants openness. Offer resources for support at the end of the service and encourage people to check in on each other.

Sample opening

My name is Andre. Leah was a brilliant writer and a kind friend. Today I want to honor her work and remind everyone to reach out if you are struggling. Leah would have wanted us to look after each other.

Examples you can adapt

Example 1: Short friendly tribute about a roommate

Hey everyone. I m Taylor and I lived with Kira for two years. Kira had two trademarks she refused to change. One was an absurd plant collection that somehow survived her midnight pizza experiments. The other was her laugh which started small and then hit the whole room like a reset button. She made tough days lighter and study sessions less lonely. If you are feeling stuck today please text me or someone else. Kira knew how to make a group of strangers feel like a family and that is the gift she left behind. Thank you for coming to remember her.

Example 2: Teammate eulogy with humor and heart

Good afternoon. I m Marcus and I played midfield with Sam for three seasons. Sam ran like someone who was late for a party they did not want to miss. He had a ridiculous pregame ritual that included a playlist named something embarrassing and a warm up that looked suspiciously like dancing. He also called out the good plays from the bench like he was announcing an award show. Sam taught us to play hard and to laugh harder. We will miss the way he made practice feel like a hangout. Let s carry that energy with us when we take the field next season.

Example 3: Classmate urbanist and activist, longer version

My name is Lena. I met Malik in an urban studies seminar freshman year. He asked a question about public transit that made the professor stop and say wow, where have you been all my life. Malik was always asking the awkward kind of questions that forced us to look at our assumptions. He worked on the community bike project and helped organize rides for people who could not afford cars. He believed cities should be kinder and more accessible. The thing I will miss most is his insistence that good city planning is not about fancy buildings but about people getting to see their friends. Malik pushed us to care. He is gone but the bikes he helped fix and the routes he mapped are a living piece of his kindness.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates and make them sound like you. Shorten or lengthen as your emotional bandwidth allows.

Template A: Short and simple

Hi, I m [Your Name]. I knew [Name] from [how you knew them]. One memory that captures who they were is [brief story]. They taught me [lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting each other.

Template B: For teammates or clubmates

My name is [Your Name]. I played with [Name] on [team or club]. [Name] had a habit of [quirky habit]. That habit showed who they were because [why it mattered]. On behalf of the team I want to say thank you for [contribution or trait]. Please join us in [call to action like a minute of silence or wearing team colors].

Template C: For sudden loss or when you are raw

I m [Your Name]. I was [Name] friend. This is still hard to say out loud. One thing I keep thinking about is [memory]. I do not have the words to fix the hurt but I want to remember [something true and simple]. Thank you for being here to hold each other.

Delivery tips that actually help

• Print your words Use large font and line spacing so you can read while emotional. A typed page is easier than a phone in low light.
• Use cue cards One or two lines per card keeps you moving and reduces the chance of losing your place.
• Mark breaths Put a small mark where you want to pause. Pauses are powerful and give you space if you start to cry.
• Practice out loud Read it to a friend or to your room. Saying it once will calm the throat and make the words land better.
• Bring water and tissues You will be glad you did. A glass of water between speakers helps your voice recover.
• Ask for a backup Arrange for a friend to finish if you need help. They can stand nearby and gently step in if needed.
• Speak slowly It is easy to rush. Slow speech makes your message clear and helps your breathing.

What to avoid

• Avoid guessing about private causes of death or spreading rumors.
• Avoid embarrassing stories that single out someone in the audience.
• Avoid speaking longer than your allotted time unless invited to continue.
• Avoid using the eulogy as a place to settle old disputes.

After the speech

People will approach you afterwards. You might feel raw. It is okay to say you need a moment. If people ask for your words offer to email them a typed copy. Some families want the text added to a memory book or the campus website. Check with the family before posting a recording online. If the death involved mental health struggles include resource information at the event or in the program so people know where to get help.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given to honor someone who has died.
• Obituary A written notice about a death that usually includes basic facts and service details.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering focused on memories and stories.
• Visitation A time to offer condolences and gather before a service.
• Memorial An event to remember someone that might be held after the funeral or without a body present.
• Vigil A short gathering, often held where the community was affected, to honor someone and show solidarity.
• Mental health resources Places to find support for grief and emotional crises. Examples include campus counseling centers and national hotlines. If the topic comes up at the event make sure to list actual local and national contacts.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your connection to the person. Something like Hello I m [Your Name]. I was [Name] roommate gives context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that line until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.

What if I cry and cannot continue

Pause, breathe, look at your notes. If you need a moment that is okay. A prepared friend can step in and finish a line if you want. Many people choose to keep the eulogy short to reduce the pressure of getting through a long speech while grieving.

Can I use humor

Yes. Small earned humor that comes from real memories is often welcome and gives people permission to breathe. Avoid jokes that might embarrass family members or single out someone in the audience. Follow a joke with a sincere line so the tone stays grounded.

Should I talk about how they died

Only if the family wants that shared or if it helps the audience understand important safety or mental health issues. Focus on the person more than the event. If the death involved mental health offer resource information at the event.

How do I keep it from sounding like a list of facts

Stories beat lists. Use one or two short anecdotes to show character. Describe a small moment that reveals who the person was. Details like a favorite hoodie, a laugh, or a ritual make someone feel alive in memory.

Is it okay to use a poem or song lyric

Yes, but keep it short. Use a two to four line excerpt rather than an entire long poem. Check copyright if you are including recorded music in a public broadcast. Confirm with the family or organizers that the piece feels appropriate.