How to Write a Eulogy for Your Pops - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Saying a few words for your pops can feel impossible and deeply necessary at the same time. You want to honor him, tell the truth, and get through the moment without losing your voice. This guide gives you a simple process, real examples you can borrow, and easy templates to customize. We explain terms that come up so nothing feels confusing and we give practical delivery tips that actually help when you are nervous. Read through, pick a template, and start drafting with confidence.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about their dad, stepdad, father figure, or pops at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service. Maybe you were the obvious pick because you were the person who visited most often. Maybe you are the family member who can talk without turning it into a counseling session. Maybe your relationship was complicated. That is okay. There are sample scripts for short, funny, honest, and messy needs.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It usually appears during a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is not the same thing as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that gives basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is personal. It is a story you tell about the person who mattered to you.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A published notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and funeral arrangements.
• Order of service The agenda for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of readings music and speakers.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. Pallbearers are usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories photos and memory sharing instead of ritual.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can be at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It appears on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy for your pops be

Short and clear usually works best. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is roughly 400 to 800 spoken words. If you are unsure how long you should speak ask the family or officiant. If you are worried about crying keep it short and focused. A compact honest speech can be more powerful than a long wandering one.

Before you start writing

Preparation makes writing and delivery easier. Use this quick checklist.

• Confirm time and setting Ask how long you can speak and where your remarks fit in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want to be solemn celebratory funny or a mix? Check with close family so the tone fits the person and the audience.
• Gather material Collect nicknames dates places jobs jokes sayings and one or two stories that show the personality of your pops. Ask siblings or close friends for a memory each.
• Choose three focus points Pick three things you want people to leave remembering. Three keeps the speech shaped and memorable.
• Plan logistics Confirm if there will be a microphone printed programs or a place for you to stand. Bring a backup copy of your speech.

Structure that works

A clear structure gives you a map to follow when emotions are high. Use this simple shape.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of his life in practical strokes. Focus on a few roles like son father worker coach volunteer or neighbor.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific and sensory.
• Lessons and traits Summarize what he taught people or what people will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line a short quote a call to action like sharing a memory or a simple thanks.

Writing the opening

The opening is where you set the stage. Keep it straightforward. Start with your name and your relationship. Then say one true sentence about what the day is for.

Opening examples

• Hello. I am Jordan and I am Sam s son. Today we are here to remember his stubborn laugh and his terrible grill skills.
• Hi everyone. I m Maya his daughter. I am here to share a few stories about how he made us feel safe with a well timed joke and a steady hand.
• Good afternoon. I m Chris. My dad taught me to fix a leaking faucet and to never pass up a chance to say sorry when you are wrong.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not an exhaustive biography. Pick facts that matter for the story you want to tell. Use plain language and avoid reciting a resume. Focus on roles and values.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place]. He worked as a [job] and later as [role]. He loved [hobby] and was a father to [names or count].
• [Name] moved to [city] when he was [age]. He had a morning ritual of [habit] and could always be counted on for [trait].

Anecdotes that matter

People remember stories more than statements. Pick one or two short moments that show who your dad was. Keep them simple sensory and with a small payoff that ties back to his character.

Good anecdote shapes

• Setup: A quick one line context. For example on every Sunday he would...
• Action: What he did. The small detail that brings the image to life.
• Point: Why it mattered. The lesson or the laugh.

Examples of very short anecdotes

• When I was ten he taught me to change a tire by letting me hold one wrench. He let me make the mistakes and then fixed them with a grin. Now when a problem feels big I remember his patience and that steady grin.
• He made the worst chili the neighborhood had ever tasted and yet invited everyone over until the lawn chairs ran out. He believed gatherings mattered more than perfection.
• On long drives he would hum the same two bars of a song until the rest of us joined in. His humming turned ordinary trips into family concerts.

Using humor the right way

Humor can give people permission to breathe. Use small earned jokes not shock value. Test them on a friend who will be honest. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the room.

Safe humor examples

• He believed in two things, strong coffee and stronger opinions about directions. GPS was an insult he refused to accept.
• Dad had a tie collection that deserved a museum. If you ever needed fashion advice you could always find him in the nearest fluorescent neckwear.

Addressing complicated relationships

Not every relationship with a father is uncomplicated. If your relationship was strained you can still speak honestly and with dignity. You do not need to air private grievances in public. Acknowledge complexity and point to lessons or closure where you can.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My relationship with my dad was not perfect. We had arguments that lasted for days. In time we found ways to be kinder to each other and I am grateful for that small peace.
• He was not always the easiest person to get along with. Still he taught me to stand up for myself and to pay attention to the people who show up.
• We did not agree on much but we agreed on how to show up when family needed help. That is what I will remember most.

What to avoid in a eulogy for your pops

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a private therapy session or a place for unresolved family quarrels.
• Avoid unfiltered gossip or private details that could hurt people present.
• Avoid a long list of achievements without stories to make them human.
• Avoid clichés unless you follow them with specific details that show why the line is true.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are ready to use examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and read them out loud to see what feels natural.

Example 1: The steady dad five minute version

Hello. I am Alex and I am David s son. Dad was born in a small town and moved here for work when he was twenty five. He worked as an electrician for over thirty years. He believed a job done well was worth staying late for and that a handshake still mattered.

One small story that captures him is about his Saturdays. He would wake up early to fix whatever had fallen apart the week before. He kept a toolbox that smelled like oil and coffee. If you needed someone to show up at an odd hour he would be there with a flashlight and a joke. That steady presence taught me what reliability looks like in practice.

He taught us to tell the truth even when it was uncomfortable and to make space for people who felt left out. He was generous in small ways like making sure neighbors had snow shoveled or that Mrs. Ramirez at the corner had a ride to her doctor. We will miss his steady laugh and the way he made us feel like everything could be fixed.

Thank you for being here and for holding his memory with us.

Example 2: Short modern tribute under two minutes

Hi everyone. I am Jamie and I am his daughter. Pops loved loud music cold lemonade and telling the same fishing story until it became a saga. He taught me to be stubborn about what mattered and flexible about the rest. I am grateful for his stubbornness about showing up. Thanks for coming to remember him.

Example 3: Light and funny with sincerity

Hello. I am Ben his son. If you ever met my dad you know he had two rules. Rule one was never trust a skinny chef. Rule two was if you wanted to borrow his tools you had to return them with a story. He made terrible breakfasts and excellent memories. Today we celebrate his messy kindness and his commitment to spare parts and stories. Please laugh with us as we remember him.

Example 4: Complicated relationship honest and respectful

My name is Sarah. My dad was a complicated man in the best possible way. We had years where we barely spoke and years where we could not stop talking. In his last months we sat quietly and I realized how much his stubbornness came from wanting to protect us. That clarity felt like permission to forgive and to carry forward the things that were helpful. I am grateful for that time and I will miss the parts of him that taught me how to be brave in small ways.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates as a starting point. Fill in the brackets and then edit until the voice feels like you.

Template A classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Dad s Name] [son daughter child]. [Dad s Name] was born in [place or year]. He loved [hobby], he worked as [job], and he was the person we called when [small task or habit]. One memory that shows who he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here.

Template B honest complicated relationship

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Dad s Name] was complicated. We disagreed a lot and yet we found ways to care for each other. One moment I will always hold is [small memory]. If I could say one thing to him now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C light and funny with sincerity

Hi I m [Your Name]. To know [Dad s Name] was to know [quirky habit]. He made us laugh even when things were hard and he insisted on teaching us [life skill]. I will miss [odd thing you will miss]. Thank you for remembering him with us.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These tactics help you stay steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier than a phone when emotions are high.
• Use cue cards Index cards with one or two lines per card reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where the audience will laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend to hear how it sounds and to adjust timing.
• Bring tissues and water Keep them nearby and take a moment if you need it. The room will wait.
• Arrange backup help If you think you will not get through it ask a trusted person to be ready to finish a sentence or to step up if needed.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slightly slower than usual. If there is no mic project to the back row.

When you want to cry while reading

If tears come that is okay. Pause breathe look down at your notes and then continue. If your voice breaks slow down. Saying fewer words more slowly is often more powerful. You are allowed to be human in that room.

How to include readings poems and music

Short readings work best. If you include a poem choose a two to four line excerpt rather than a long reading. Readings can be religious or secular. Confirm the officiant is comfortable with your choice. Print the text in the program if you can so people can follow.

Music choices

• Pick songs your dad loved or songs that match the tone of the event.
• If live music is not possible ask the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers.
• Keep music short and place it where it supports the speech for example before the eulogy or as an interlude after a key line.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they need it for the program.

After the eulogy

People often ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family and friends or give printed copies at the reception. Some families include the eulogy in a memory book or the funeral program. You can also record the audio and share it privately with those who could not attend. Always check with family about privacy before posting online.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a glass of water if allowed.
• Tell a family member you might need a moment and arrange a small signal if you want them to finish if needed.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death that usually includes service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket. Usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering focused on stories photos and memories.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life.
• RSVP Short for respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and relationship. A short line like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Dad s Name] child gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause breathe and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue ask a designated family member or friend to finish for you. Having a short note someone else can pick up helps in that scenario.

Should I include religious language if the family is not religious

Only if it would have meant something to your dad or to the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors memories and values instead. You can include a short poem or reading that matches the family s beliefs instead of prayer language.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes small earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes based on kind memories and test them with a trusted friend. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members. Follow a joke with a sincere line to reconnect tone.

How long should a eulogy be

Three to seven minutes is a good target. Short speeches tend to be more memorable. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times so the service stays within the planned schedule.

Should I give a copy of the eulogy to the funeral home or officiant

Yes. Providing a copy helps the officiant and the person running the service stay on schedule and makes it easy to include the text in a program or memory book.