Writing a eulogy for your Poppa can feel like carrying a thousand small memories at once. You want to honor him, tell the real stories, and speak in a way that feels like him. This guide walks you through a simple structure, gives examples you can adapt, explains any terms or acronyms you might see, and offers delivery tips that actually work. Read, pick a template, and make it your own.
We know how hard that can feel. You are sorting through precious memories, searching for the right words, and trying to hold it together when it is time to speak. It is a lot to carry.
That is why we created a simple step by step eulogy writing guide. It gently walks you through what to include, how to shape your thoughts, and how to feel more prepared when the moment comes. → Find Out More
Quick Links to Useful Sections
- Who this guide is for
- What a eulogy is and how it differs from related terms
- How long a eulogy should be
- Quick plan before you start writing
- A simple structure that works
- How to write the opening
- How to write a life sketch
- Anecdotes that actually land
- Addressing complicated or strained relationships
- Using humor the right way
- What to avoid in a eulogy
- Full eulogy examples you can adapt
- Example 1: Classic Poppa tribute about kindness, three to four minutes
- Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes
- Example 3: Honest and respectful for a complicated relationship
- Example 4: Celebration of life tone with warmth and humor
- Fill in the blank templates
- Delivery tips to stay steady
- What to do if you cannot finish
- Including readings, poems, and music
- Logistics to confirm
- Who to tell after the eulogy
- Checklist before you speak
- Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Frequently asked questions
Who this guide is for
This article is for anyone asked to speak about their grandfather at a funeral, memorial, graveside service, or celebration of life. Maybe you were the grandkid who always texted him photos, maybe you were his caregiver, maybe you lived far away and are nervous about what to say. This guide has options for short and modern tributes, longer reflective pieces, and scripts for complicated relationships. It is written in a casual, down to earth voice so you can get to the point and say something true.
What a eulogy is and how it differs from related terms
A eulogy is a speech that honors a person who has died. It is usually delivered at a funeral or memorial. A eulogy shares memories, character, and a personal view of who the person was. It is not the same thing as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that lists basic facts like birth date, death date, survivors, and service information. Below are other terms you might see explained in plain language.
- Obituary A written public notice about a death that includes basic biographical details and service arrangements.
- Order of service The program that lists the sequence of events at a funeral or memorial. It tells who is speaking and when music or readings will happen.
- Pallbearer Someone who helps carry the casket. Often family members or close friends are chosen.
- Celebration of life A less formal event that focuses on stories, photos, and remembering with warmth rather than ritual.
- Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life near the end of life. Hospice can be a team that visits at home or a facility where people receive end of life care.
- Officiant The person who leads the service. This could be clergy, a celebrant, or a family friend who agreed to run the event.
How long a eulogy should be
Short and focused usually works best. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is about 400 to 800 spoken words. If you are worried about emotion, a shorter, carefully chosen tribute can be the most powerful thing you say. If multiple people are speaking, check with the family or the officiant about time so no one goes overboard.
Quick plan before you start writing
- Ask about time Confirm how long you are expected to speak and where your eulogy fits into the order of service.
- Decide a tone Do you want the speech to be warm and funny, quiet and reflective, or a mix? Check with close family so the tone matches the event and Poppa s personality.
- Collect memories Gather dates, nicknames, habits, favourite jokes, and one or two meaningful stories. Ask a sibling or cousin for a memory each.
- Pick three things to highlight Choose three traits, stories, or roles you want listeners to remember. Three gives shape and keeps the speech focused.
A simple structure that works
Use this shape. It keeps you organized and makes the audience feel steadied.
- Opening Say your name and your relationship to Poppa. Offer a single sentence that sets the tone.
- Life sketch Give a brief overview of his life in practical strokes. Focus on roles like son, worker, veteran, coach, hobbyist, storyteller, or neighbor.
- Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific and sensory.
- Lessons and legacy Summarize what Poppa taught people or what people will miss about him.
- Closing Offer a farewell line, a short poem, a favourite saying of his, or a call to action like sharing a memory after the service.
How to write the opening
The opening is where you set the scene. Keep it simple. Start with your name and how you knew Poppa. Then add one honest sentence about him.
Opening examples
- Hello everyone. I am Tyler and I am Poppa Jim s grandson. He was the guy who always had a pocket full of mints and a story for every awkward silence.
- Hi. I m Maya and I am proud to be Poppa Al s granddaughter. He taught me how to fix a bike and how to look someone in the eye and tell the truth.
- Good afternoon. My name is Connor. Poppa loved two things more than most people thought possible. He loved the Reds and he loved his Sunday barbecue.
How to write a life sketch
The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that serve the story you want to tell. Use clear language and avoid listing every job he ever had. Focus on the roles that shaped his life and yours.
Life sketch templates
- [Poppa s name] was born in [place] in [year]. He worked as a [job] and later as a [job or role]. He married [name] and together they raised [number] children. He retired to [place] where he took up [hobby].
- [Poppa s name] moved to [city] as a young adult. He loved [hobby], had a weekly ritual at the diner, and never missed a chance to teach the kids a practical skill like fixing a fence or tying proper knots.
Anecdotes that actually land
People remember stories more than facts. Pick one or two stories that show Poppa s personality. Keep them short, give a little setup, the action, and a line that explains why it matters.
Short story examples
- When I was seven, Poppa taught me to fish. He said the secret was patience and the right snack. We did not catch much but we ate sandwiches and he taught me to notice the quiet. I still smell that peanut butter when I need to get calm.
- He had a way of fixing stuff with duct tape and determination. Once our dryer died the night before a family gathering and Poppa declared it fixable. He rigged it with a roll of tape and two prayers and it ran like a champion long enough to survive the event. That was his approach to life. Make do, try, and laugh about it later.
- Poppa loved corny puns so much that at every birthday he would text one to start the day. He called them his gift of groans. We laughed because he did not care if the joke was bad. He cared that he had made us smile.
Addressing complicated or strained relationships
Not every relationship with a grandfather is perfect. You can be honest without being cruel. Acknowledge complexity, share small reconciliations, or pick one true thing you can say. You do not need to air private grievances in a public room.
Examples for complicated relationships
- My relationship with Poppa was not always easy. We argued about many things. In his last year though we found a quieter way to be with each other. I am grateful for that time.
- He could be stubborn and loud. He also taught me resilience and how to stand up for myself. Those lessons were not always easy to learn but they mattered.
- We had distance for a long time. In recent years he made an effort to call and so did I. Those calls mattered more than I realized until they stopped.
Using humor the right way
Humor can give people permission to breathe and smile. Use small, earned jokes not mean ones. Test your joke on a trusted friend to see if it lands. Avoid humor that might embarrass a vulnerable family member.
Safe humor examples
- Poppa had a rule about socks. He thought mismatched socks were a crime against dignity. He would lecture anyone who dared leave the house with different socks. It made getting dressed feel like a moral choice in our family.
- He would fall asleep in his chair within seven minutes of the TV turning on. We used to set timers just to see if he would wake up for the commercials. He never did. That is one tradition I will miss.
What to avoid in a eulogy
- Avoid turning the eulogy into a family argument or therapy session.
- Avoid gossip and private family secrets that could hurt people present.
- Avoid reading a long list of accomplishments without stories to make them human.
- Avoid cliches unless you immediately make them true with a specific detail.
Full eulogy examples you can adapt
Below are complete examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and speak from the heart.
Example 1: Classic Poppa tribute about kindness, three to four minutes
Hello. My name is Olivia and I am Poppa Joe s granddaughter. Poppa Joe grew up in Toledo and spent most of his career as a mechanic. He loved to tinker and he had the kind of laugh that made strangers feel like neighbors. He married Rose in 1956 and together they built a life full of backyard barbecues and terrible board game trash talk.
One memory that shows his heart happened when our car broke down on a freezing night. Poppa walked for twelve blocks to help us push it to the gas station. He did not complain about the cold. He complained that the radio only had two stations. That is how he showed love. He showed up and made it a little lighter.
He taught me how to be practical and how small acts of service become the backbone of a family. I will miss his coffee, his steady hands, and the way he hummed the same tune when he worked. Thank you for being here and for holding his memory with us.
Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes
Hi. I am Marcus, Poppa Ray s grandson. Poppa loved pancakes, bad jokes, and telling you exactly what you needed to hear even if you did not ask. He made us feel safe and ridiculous and fed. That is the kind of man he was. Thank you for joining us in remembering him.
Example 3: Honest and respectful for a complicated relationship
My name is Sarah. Poppa and I were complicated. He had rules and expectations that I pushed back against. Over time we learned to listen to each other without always agreeing. In his last months he apologized for some things and told me stories I had never heard before. Those moments made room for gratitude. I will carry his stubborn love with me.
Example 4: Celebration of life tone with warmth and humor
Hello everyone. I am Ben, his oldest grandson. If you met Poppa you knew three truths about him. One, he never met a pancake he did not like. Two, he thought technology was a conspiracy. Three, he loved all of us with a messy, loud heart. Today we celebrate him with pancakes, stories, and the terrible playlist he made us endure. Laugh with us and remember him for the joy he handed out freely.
Fill in the blank templates
Use these templates and then edit so the words sound like you. Read them aloud and trim anything that feels forced.
Template A: Short classic
My name is [Your Name]. I am Poppa [Name] [grandson granddaughter child]. [Poppa s name] was born in [place or year]. He loved [one hobby], worked as [job], and was the person we called when [small task or habit]. One memory that shows the kind of person he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here.
Template B: For complicated relationships
My name is [Your Name]. Poppa [Name] and I had a complicated relationship. We did not always understand each other. We argued about [small example]. Over time I came to appreciate [something positive]. In his last [months years] we [reconciled had conversations found peace]. If I could say one thing to him now it would be [short line you want to say].
Template C: Light and funny with sincerity
Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know Poppa [Name] was to know that [quirky habit]. He also made sure we learned [practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. He made us laugh and he made us feel safe. I will miss his jokes and the way he fixed things with snacks and willpower.
Delivery tips to stay steady
- Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to handle when you are emotional than a tiny phone screen.
- Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines each reduce the chance of losing your place.
- Mark pauses Put a symbol where you want to breathe or expect the audience to laugh. Pauses give you space to regroup.
- Practice out loud Read your eulogy to a friend, a mirror, or a pet. Practice helps your throat and your heart know what to expect.
- Bring tissues Or a handkerchief. If you stop, breathe, swallow, and continue. The audience will wait for you.
- Plan a signal Tell a family member if you might need a moment and arrange a small signal so someone can step in to finish if needed.
- Microphone tips Keep the mic a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal volume. If there is no mic, project to the back row and slow your pace.
What to do if you cannot finish
If you are too emotional to continue, pause and breathe. Look at your notes and take a sip of water. If you still cannot finish, your prearranged helper can close with one or two lines that you gave them earlier. Many people choose to keep their remarks short so that someone else can finish with a closing prayer or song.
Including readings, poems, and music
Short readings work best. If you choose a poem pick a short excerpt rather than a long piece. Readings can be religious or secular. Confirm with the officiant and provide printed copies if you can. For music choose songs Poppa loved or tracks that match the tone. If a live musician is not possible ask the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers or at the close.
Logistics to confirm
- Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
- Confirm where you will stand and how long you may speak with the officiant.
- Offer a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they need it for the program.
- Ask family before recording or posting audio or video online. Some families prefer privacy.
Who to tell after the eulogy
People will likely want a copy. Offer to email it to interested family members and friends. Some families include the eulogy in a printed memory book. Recording the audio and sharing it privately can be a comfort to relatives who could not attend. Ask permission before sharing anything publicly.
Checklist before you speak
- Confirm time limit with the family or officiant.
- Print your speech and bring a backup copy.
- Practice reading the speech aloud at least three times.
- Mark emotional beats and pauses in your copy.
- Bring tissues and a bottle of water.
- Tell a trusted person you might need help and arrange a signal.
Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
- Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
- Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
- Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories and photos rather than rituals.
- Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life near the end of life. Hospice care can take place at home or in a facility.
- Officiant The person who leads the service. This could be clergy, a celebrant, or a trusted friend.
- RSVP This stands for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.
Frequently asked questions
How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous
Begin with your name and your relationship to Poppa. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am Poppa [Name] s grandson gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.
How long should my eulogy be
Aim for three to seven minutes. Shorter often reads better when emotions are strong. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times so the service stays on track.
What if I forget my place or start crying
Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment, take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue ask a designated family member or friend to finish for you. Having someone prepared to step in reduces stress.
Can I include humor in a eulogy
Yes. Small, earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes rooted in real memories and avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members. Follow a joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone.
Should I use religious language if the family is not religious
Only if it was meaningful to Poppa or the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories instead. You can include a short poem or reading that matches the family s beliefs.
Is it okay to read from my phone
Yes you can, but paper is often easier to handle when you are emotional. If you use a phone make sure it will not ring and that the screen is bright enough in the venue.
How do I balance honesty with respect if our relationship was strained
Be honest without being hurtful. Acknowledge complexity and share small reconciliations or lessons you can truthfully claim. Keep the tribute short and focus on one or two true things you learned or appreciated.
Can I record the eulogy and share it online
Ask the family first. Some families want privacy. If they agree share with a brief note about why you are posting and who should be able to view it.