How to Write a Eulogy for Your Pop - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your Pop feels huge and wildly necessary at the same time. You want to honor him, tell a real story, and get through speaking without losing your voice. This guide gives you a clear plan, real examples you can borrow, and templates that actually work. We explain terms and acronyms in plain language and offer delivery tips that help when feelings are raw. Read through, pick a template, and start writing with confidence.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about their Pop at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service. Maybe you were the obvious pick because you were the child who called him every Sunday. Maybe you are the calm one in the family who can hold a microphone. Maybe your relationship was messy. That is fine. There are sample scripts for tender, funny, brief, and complicated needs.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a speech that honors a person who has died. It usually appears as part of a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is not the same thing as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice, often published in a newspaper or online, that gives basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is personal. It is a story. It is permitted to be imperfect.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details and biographical highlights.
• Order of service The schedule for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of readings, music, and speakers. Think of it as the event program.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to help carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life An alternative to a traditional funeral that focuses on stories, photos, and less formality.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for people nearing the end of life. Hospice care can be provided at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It appears on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and clear is better than long and vague. Aim for three to seven minutes. That usually translates to roughly 400 to 800 spoken words. If you are worried about crying, a short heartfelt tribute will be more powerful than a long speech that loses focus.

Before you start writing

Preparation makes everything easier. Use this quick plan to gather the right stuff.

• Ask about time Confirm with the family or officiant how long you are expected to speak and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? Check with close family so the tone fits your Pop and the audience.
• Collect memories Gather dates, nicknames, jobs he had, favorite sayings, small rituals, and a couple of stories. Ask siblings or close friends for one memory each.
• Choose three focus points Pick three things you want people to remember about him. Three is small enough to hold in one speech and big enough to give shape.

A structure that actually works

Good structure gives permission to the listener and to you. Use this simple shape and make it your own.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of your Pop s life in practical strokes. Dates are optional. Focus on roles like son, brother, worker, coach, or volunteer.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. These can be funny or tender. Keep them specific and sensory.
• Lessons and traits Summarize the values he passed on or the things people will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a quote, a short poem excerpt, or a call to action like lighting a candle or sharing a memory after the service.

Writing the opening

The opening is where you set the stage. Keep it simple. Start with your name and your relationship to Pop. Then say one clear sentence about what this moment is for.

Opening examples

• Hello. My name is Jamie and I am Mark s daughter. Today we are here to remember how he could fix anything with duct tape and a little patience.
• Hi everyone. I am Ben. I was proud to call Pop my dad. I want to say one quick thing about how he loved bad records and better jokes.
• Hello. I am Priya, his youngest. My Pop taught me how to ask questions and how to keep a steady hand under pressure.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for the story you are telling. Use plain language and avoid listing every job. Think about the roles your Pop played that shaped him and you.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place]. He worked as a [job] for [number] years. He was a son, a brother, a friend, and a father to [names or count]. He loved [hobby] and believed in [value].
• [Name] moved to [city] when he was a child. He had a laugh that filled a room and a habit of bringing an extra sandwich for anyone who looked like they needed it.

Anecdotes that stick

People remember stories more than statements. Anecdotes ground your speech. Keep them short, sensory, and with a payoff. A good story has a setup, an action, and a line that explains why it matters.

Examples of very short anecdotes

• When I was seven, Pop taught me to change a flat tire. He handed me the lug wrench and said try it. I stripped a bolt. He laughed, fixed it, then let me hold the last bolt. That is how he taught things. By letting you try and then by being there to set it right.
• He had a rule at family dinners that dessert was only served after everyone shared one good thing from their week. We called it gratitude time and it stuck with me.
• On road trips he would belt out songs with the radio at full volume. He did not always know the words. He believed singing together was better than silence.

Addressing complicated relationships

Not every relationship with a Pop is uncomplicated. If things were strained, you can still speak honestly and with dignity. Acknowledge complexity without airing private grievances. You do not need to forgive publicly to be respectful. You can state truth and point to lessons or closure.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My relationship with my Pop was not simple. We had long stretches of silence and moments of real laughter. In the end we found a quiet understanding and I am grateful for that.
• He could be stubborn and blunt. He also taught me to stand my ground and to speak up for those who needed a voice. Those were hard lessons and useful ones.
• We did not always see eye to eye. Still, he wanted safety for me and I knew that even when we argued.

Using humor the right way

Humor can give permission to breathe. Use small, earned jokes not shock value. Test them on someone who will be honest. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the audience.

Safe humor examples

• Pop had two speeds, calm and full speed. If you were late he would already be halfway to the garage with a cup of coffee and a plan.
• He treated his lawn like personal art. If you wanted a comment you had to walk the cut in the right direction or face critique.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a therapy session or a space for family disputes.
• Avoid naming painful private conflicts in public in a way that shocks or wounds people present.
• Avoid long lists of jobs and awards without stories to make them human.
• Avoid clichés unless you back them up with a specific detail that makes them true.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples that you can copy and personalize. Each follows the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details.

Example 1: Steady practical dad, three to four minute version

Hello. I am Katie, his daughter. It is an honor to say a few words about my Pop, Tom.

Tom grew up in Detroit and moved to Chicago in his twenties. He worked as a mechanic for over thirty years. He had a talent for seeing the tiny thing that would fix the whole problem. He married Susan and together they raised two children who learned how to laugh at life and how to fix a leaky sink properly.

One small story that captures him is Saturday mornings. He would get the coffee going, read a weather report, and then fix something in the garage. If you asked him how he was he would say fine and then he would quietly ask how you were really. That was his care. Quiet and steady and present.

He taught us to be reliable, to be curious about how things work, and to show up for people in small ways. We will miss his steady voice and the way he made any place feel like home. Thank you for being here and for sharing one memory after the service if you can.

Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes

Hi everyone. I am Luis and I am Pop s son. Dad loved Sunday breakfasts, bad jokes, and fiercely strong coffee. He taught me to dance badly but with conviction. He also made sure we had clean socks and a plan. He was our safe place. Thank you for being here and for holding his memory with us.

Example 3: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful

My name is Rachel. My Pop, Alan, was complicated in the best and hardest ways. We had fights that lasted weeks and reconciliations that felt like small repairs to a roof after a storm. He pushed and he loved in ways that were not always gentle. In the last months we spoke more often and we finally said some things that needed saying. There was imperfect repair. I am grateful for that. He taught me how to make boundaries and how to forgive. Thank you, Dad.

Example 4: Celebration of life tone with humor

Hello. I am Mark, his oldest. If you ever met my Pop you know he had rules. Rule one was be kind. Rule two was hide the good snacks from him or he would steal them. He kept a drawer full of emergency chocolate like a national resource. We will miss his chocolate stash and his generosity. Today we celebrate the messy, hilarious, loving man he was. Please laugh with us as we remember him.

Fill in the blank templates

Fill in the blanks then edit to make it sound like you. Read it out loud and trim anything that sounds forced.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Pop s name] [son daughter child]. [Pop s name] was born in [place]. He worked as [job] and loved [hobby]. One memory that shows the kind of person he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.

Template B: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Pop s name] was complicated. We did not always understand each other. We fought about [small example]. Over time I learned to appreciate [something positive]. In the last [months years] we [reconciled spoke often found peace]. If I could say one thing to him now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C: Light and funny with sincerity

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Pop s name] was to know that [quirky habit]. He also made sure we learned [life skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. Even his jokes had work to do. He made us laugh and he made us better at building things and telling the truth. I will miss him. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These practical tactics keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is less distracting than a phone when emotions run high.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines on each card are easy to manage and reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where the audience might laugh or applaud. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read to a friend, to a mirror, or to your dog. Practice tells your throat what to expect.
• Bring tissues Or a handkerchief. If you need a moment pause, breathe, swallow, and continue. The audience will wait.
• Ask for help If you think you will not get through it arrange for someone to introduce you or to step in if needed.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a steady volume. If there is no mic speak slowly and project to the back row.

When you want to cry while reading

If tears come that is normal. Pause, breathe, look down at your notes, and then continue. If your voice breaks slow down. Saying fewer words more slowly is often more powerful than racing through. Remember you are allowed to be human in that room.

How to include readings, poems, and music

Short readings work best. If you include a poem pick a two to four line excerpt rather than reciting an entire long poem. Readings can be religious or secular. Confirm the officiant is comfortable with the piece and print the text in the program if possible.

Music choices

• Pick songs your Pop loved or songs that match the tone of the event.
• If live music is not possible ask the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers.
• Keep music short and place it where it supports the speech for example before the eulogy or as a brief interlude after a powerful line.

Logistics to check

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they need it for the program.

After the eulogy

People will likely want a copy. Offer to email it to family and friends. Some families request the eulogy be included in the printed program or placed in a memory book. You can also record the audio and share it privately. That recording can be a comfort to family members who were not able to attend.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death and usually including service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories and photos rather than rituals.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can be at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It appears on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and relationship to the deceased. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Pop s Name] child gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated family member or friend ready to step in. A short note that someone else can pick up from helps in this scenario.

Should I include religious language if the family is not religious

Only if it was meaningful to your Pop or to family members. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories instead. A short reading or poem that matches the family s beliefs can be a good alternative.

How do I balance humor and respect

Use humor that is rooted in a real story that illustrates character. Avoid jokes that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members. Follow a joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone. Humor can open hearts when used gently.

Can I read the eulogy from my phone

Yes but make sure the screen is bright enough and that the device will not ring. Many people prefer paper or printed index cards because they are easier to handle when emotions run high.

How long should a eulogy be

Three to seven minutes is a good target. Short speeches are often more memorable. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times so the service stays within the planned schedule.

Is it okay to record and share the eulogy online

Check with family before posting. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved provide a short description and be mindful of the deceased s wishes.