How to Write a Eulogy for Your Parent - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for a parent can feel like the bravest and hardest thing you will do in public. You want to honor them, tell a true story, and get through the moment while still being human. This guide gives you a clear process, real examples you can adapt, and delivery tips that actually work. We explain terms you might not know and give fill in the blank templates you can use right away.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about a parent at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, or even a small family gathering. Maybe you were the eldest, maybe you were the one who visited most often, or maybe you were handed the mic because you can talk without turning it into a therapy session. This guide covers gentle, funny, short, and complicated options so you can pick what fits.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors someone who has died. It usually happens during a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is personal and narrative. It is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice with basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is about memory, character, and meaning. It is allowed to be imperfect.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A written notice announcing a death and giving basic facts about the person and the service.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial listing readings, music, and speakers. Think of it as the event program.
• Pallbearer Someone who helps carry the casket. Usually close family or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on memories, photos, and stories rather than ritual.
• Hospice An approach to care that focuses on comfort and quality of life near the end. Hospice care can happen at home or in a facility.
• Officiant The person who leads the service. This can be a clergy person, a celebrant, or a family friend who is asked to guide the event.
• RSVP An abbreviation that asks people to confirm attendance. It stands for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond.

How long should the eulogy be

Short is strong. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is roughly 400 to 800 spoken words. If many people are speaking, check with the family or officiant and aim for shorter remarks so the schedule stays comfortable for everyone.

Before you start writing

Give yourself a simple plan. The pressure to get it perfect will make it harder. These steps will help.

• Ask about time Confirm the expected length and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Choose whether you want to be solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix. Check with a close family member if you need a second opinion.
• Gather memories Ask siblings, cousins, or friends for one memory each. Collect nicknames, jobs, hobbies, and favorite sayings.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about your parent. Three points give structure and keep the speech focused.
• Decide if you will read or memorize Most people read. If you choose to read, print in large type and bring a backup copy.

Structure that works

Using a shape gives your words meaning. Here is a reliable structure.

• Opening Say who you are and your relationship to the parent. Offer a single line that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of their life and roles. Keep dates minimal and focus on who they were.
• Anecdotes Share one to three short stories that reveal character. Specifics beat general praise.
• Legacy or lessons Summarize what your parent taught you and what people will miss.
• Closing End with a goodbye line, a short quote, a poem excerpt, or an invitation like lighting a candle or sharing memories after the service.

Writing the opening

The opening sets the scene. Keep it simple. Start with your name and relationship, then say one clear sentence about what the day is for.

Opening examples

• Hello, I am Jamie, the younger daughter. Today we remember how Dad made every house feel like home even when we left the lights on.
• Hi, I am Marcus, his son. My mom loved loud music, louder hugs, and terrible puns in that order. I want to share a few things she taught me.
• Good afternoon. I am Priya, their child. We are here to celebrate the life and stubborn kindness of my parent.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick a few facts that support the story you want to tell. Focus on roles and patterns rather than a timeline of jobs.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place]. They worked as a [job] and later as [role]. They loved [hobby], and they were a [parent, sibling, friend].
• [Name] moved to [city] in their twenties. They raised [number] children, made the best [food], and never missed a chance to [habit].

Anecdotes that matter

People remember stories. One short story with a small payoff is stronger than a long list of achievements. Use a setup, action, and a closing line that explains why it mattered.

Short anecdote examples

• When I was nine, Dad taught me to change a flat tire in the rain. He said the trick is to keep laughing. We still laugh about it when things go wrong.
• Mom had a rule that birthdays require an awkward homemade hat. She spent all morning decorating. We hated the hats and loved the attention equally.
• He drove me to college and insisted on making a playlist titled Parenting Mistakes. It was full of 80s ballads and gentle advice.

Addressing complicated relationships

Not all parent child relationships are tidy. You can be honest and respectful. You do not need to air grievances in public. Acknowledge complexity and name one truth you can live with.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My relationship with my parent was complicated. We had distance and we had small reconciliations. In the last year we found a quiet way to forgive each other. That mattered to me.
• They were not perfect. They made mistakes, and they also taught me how to stand up when necessary. I am grateful for both.
• We argued about a lot of things, but we always fought over who would take the last slice of pie. Those fights were a kind of love.

Using humor the right way

Humor gives the room permission to breathe when it is earned. Use small, specific jokes that show character. Avoid anything that could shame someone in the room.

Safe humor examples

• Dad had two rules. Rule one was be punctual. Rule two was ignore rule one if the game was on. He was consistent in his inconsistency.
• She labeled every drawer in the kitchen. We called it a treasure map and still got lost sometimes.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a family board meeting.
• Avoid private disputes or gossip that could hurt people present.
• Avoid long lists of accomplishments without stories to humanize them.
• Avoid vague praise that does not tell the audience why the person mattered.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and read them out loud to edit for tone.

Example 1: Dad who loved being practical, three to four minute version

Hello, I am Ben and I am Sam s son. Dad was born in a small town and learned to fix almost anything with duct tape and determination. He worked as an electrician and once rewired our house with a confidence we did not always deserve.

One thing that captures who he was is Saturday mornings. He would wake up early, make coffee like a ritual, and then sit with a crossword puzzle and the newspaper. If someone asked for help he would set the puzzle aside and come running. He taught me to measure twice and to say sorry when I was wrong. He was stubborn about small things and generous about big ones.

He loved his garden more than almost anything. He would coax a stubborn tomato into life and then quietly give it away to a neighbor who forgot theirs. That small act says everything about him. We will miss his practical hands and his loud laugh. Thank you for being here to remember him.

Example 2: Short modern eulogy for mom under two minutes

Hi everyone, I am Zoe, her daughter. Mom loved lists, long runs, and weird documentary films. She taught me to ask one more question and to never settle for the easy answer. I will miss her eye roll when I said something dramatic and the way she always saved the good chocolate. Thank you for being here and for holding her memory with us.

Example 3: Honest and respectful for a complicated relationship

My name is Aaron. My parent, Lisa, and I did not always see eye to eye. We fought about choices and about small things that seemed huge at the time. In the end we found a way to speak again and to say we were sorry. She showed me that being human includes breaking and repairing. I appreciate those repairs. I am grateful for the lessons and for the chance to say goodbye with love.

Example 4: Celebration of life tone with humor

Hello, I am Maya, their child. If you ever met my parent you know they kept three essentials in life. Coffee, a weird hat, and a playlist for every mood. They believed in dancing through awkward moments and in telling stories that stretched the truth just enough to be more entertaining. Today we celebrate that joy and that messy, perfect person. Please laugh with us as we remember them.

Fill in the blank templates

Fill in the blanks and then edit to make the voice sound like yours. Read it out loud and cut anything that feels forced.

Template A classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Parent s Name] child. [Parent s Name] was born in [place or year]. They worked as a [job], loved [hobby], and were the person we called when [small task]. One memory that shows who they were is [brief story]. They taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.

Template B for complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Parent s Name] was complicated. We did not always understand each other and we argued about [small example]. Over time I learned to appreciate [something positive]. In the last [months or years] we [reconciled found peace spoke more often]. If I could say one thing to them now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C light and funny with sincerity

Hi, I am [Your Name]. To know [Parent s Name] was to know that [quirky habit]. They also made sure we learned [practical life skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. They made us laugh and they taught us how to fold a fitted sheet without crying. I will miss their jokes and their hug. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These tactics keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is a reliable option when emotions run high.
• Use cue cards Index cards with one or two lines each are easy to handle.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket or underline where you want to breathe or where the audience might laugh. Pauses help you regroup.
• Practice out loud Read to a friend, to a mirror, or to a pet. Practice trains your throat and steadies your voice.
• Bring tissues and water A sip of water resets the vocal cords and tissues are obviously useful.
• Ask for help If you feel you might not get through it, arrange for someone to introduce you and to be ready to finish a line if needed.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak clearly. If there is no mic, speak slowly and project without shouting.

When you want to cry while reading

Tears are fine. Pause, breathe, look down at your notes, and then continue. If your voice breaks slow down. Saying fewer words slowly is often more powerful than pushing through at normal speed. The audience will wait and they want you to be human.

How to include readings, poems, and music

Short readings work best. If you choose a poem pick a two to four line excerpt instead of a long piece. Confirm the officiant is comfortable with the choice and include the text in the program if possible.

Music tips

• Choose songs your parent loved or songs that match the tone of the event.
• If playing recorded music ask the venue how to queue tracks so the flow stays smooth.
• Use music as a gentle bridge before or after a speaker rather than a long intermission.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director or venue if you will need a microphone or printed copies for attendees.
• Confirm where you will stand and how long you may speak with the officiant.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service so they can include it in the program if requested.

After the eulogy

People will often ask for a copy. Offer to email it or to include it in a memory book. Some families request the text be printed in a program or recorded for those who could not attend. A short audio recording can be a comfort to relatives who were not present.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Print your speech in large type and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a small bottle of water.
• Tell a family member you might need a moment and arrange a signal if you want them to finish a line for you.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death and providing details about the service and survivors.
• Order of service The plan for the event listing speakers, music, and readings.
• Pallbearer Someone chosen to help carry the casket, usually close family or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories and memories.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for people nearing the end of life.
• Officiant The person who leads the service. This could be a clergy person, a celebrant, or a family friend.
• RSVP An abbreviation asking people to confirm attendance. It stands for respond s il vous plait which means please respond.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to the parent. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Parent s Name] child gives the room context and buys you a moment to breathe. Practice that opening until it feels natural. It will steady you at the microphone.

What if I start crying or forget my place

Pause, breathe, and look down at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to step in. Keeping your remarks short and having a backup helps in this situation.

Should I include religious language if the family is not religious

Only if it mattered to your parent or the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memory instead. You can include a short poem or reading that fits the family s beliefs.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes, small earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes based on real, kind memories and test them with a trusted person. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members.

How long should a eulogy be

Three to seven minutes is a good target. Short and focused remarks tend to be memorable and easier for everyone to sit through. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times to keep the event moving.

Should I give a copy of the eulogy to the funeral home or officiant

Yes. Providing a copy helps the person running the service stay on schedule and makes it easy to include the text in a printed program or memory book.

What if my parent had a messy life or made mistakes

You can speak honestly while being compassionate. Acknowledge complexity and focus on what you learned or how you found closure. You do not need to make excuses or to air private grievances in public.

Is it okay to record and share the eulogy online

Check with family before posting. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is agreed upon provide a short note about where any donations might go and be mindful of the deceased s wishes.