How to Write a Eulogy for Your Pappa - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your pappa can feel impossible and necessary at the same time. You want to honor him, tell something true and human, and make it through speaking without feeling like you will fall apart. This guide gives you a practical plan, real examples that feel like people you know, and templates you can adapt. We explain terms so nothing feels confusing and we give delivery tips that actually work. Read through, pick a template, and start drafting with confidence.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about their pappa at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service. You might be the child closest by, the one who had a clear relationship, or the person who can stand up without turning the moment into long family drama. Maybe your pappa was loud and silly. Maybe he was quiet and steady. There are sample scripts for tender, funny, short, and complicated needs.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It is usually part of a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is personal. It is a story or a few stories about the person who died. It is not the same thing as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that shares facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy gives memory and feeling.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A written announcement of a death usually with basic biographical information and service details.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial that lists songs, readings, and who will speak.
• Pallbearer Someone who helps carry the casket. They are often family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and remembering rather than ritual.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life near the end of life. Hospice can be provided at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations when hosts need a head count.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and clear usually wins. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is about 400 to 800 spoken words. If you are nervous about crying or losing your place, a short heartfelt tribute is often more powerful than a long speech that loses focus. If multiple people are speaking, coordinate times so the service stays on schedule.

Before you start writing

Preparation makes the writing and the delivery much easier. Use this quick checklist before you open a blank document.

• Ask about time Check how long you are expected to speak and where your remarks fit in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want solemn, funny, celebratory, or a mix? Ask a sibling or a close family friend to confirm the tone fits the family and the pappa you knew.
• Gather one line memories Text a few people and ask for one memory each. Short memories add up fast.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about your pappa. Three keeps the speech organized and memorable.

Structure that works

Pick a simple shape that you can repeat when you feel stuck.

• Opening Tell the audience who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one clear sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of your pappa s life in plain strokes. Focus on roles and what mattered to him.
• Anecdotes Share one or two short stories that show who he was. Specific is better than general.
• Legacy Say what people will miss and what he taught you or others.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short quote, or a small call to action like lighting a candle or sharing a memory.

Writing the opening

The opening does a lot of work. Keep it short. Say your name and your relationship then give one sentence about what today is for.

Opening examples

• Hello. My name is Nora and I am Pappa s youngest daughter. Today we are here to remember how he made every car ride feel like a story time.
• Hi everyone. I am Aaron. I am here because my pappa, Pete, taught me how to change a tire and how to apologize when it mattered.
• Good afternoon. I am Lila, his daughter. Dad loved bad coffee and good jokes and he showed us how to laugh through hard days.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for the story you want to tell. Use plain language and avoid listing every job or award. Focus on roles like son, father, veteran, neighbor, handyman, or mentor.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place]. He worked as a [job] and later as a [job or role]. He was a devoted dad to [names or count] and a friend to many.
• [Name] moved to [city] in his twenties. He loved fishing, small town diners, and he never passed up a chance to fix something for a neighbor.

Anecdotes that matter

People remember stories. A good anecdote has a setup, a small action, and a line that explains why it matters. Keep them sensory and short. One or two clear stories are better than a dozen scattered ones.

Examples of short anecdotes

• When my car broke down he showed up in his old truck with coffee and a toolbox. He did not just fix the car. He fixed my panic about being alone on the highway.
• He had a terrible singing voice but he would sing lullabies anyway. Our neighbors knew every note and forgave every mistake.
• Each Sunday he would bring home a pie for the family. Sometimes it was burnt, sometimes it was perfect. The point was arriving with pie and a story.

Addressing complicated relationships

Not every relationship with pappa is simple. If your relationship was strained you can still speak honestly and with dignity. You do not need to air long grievances in public. Focus on truth and small reconciliations. You can acknowledge difficulty and point to what you learned or a moment of closure.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My relationship with my pappa was not easy. We had arguments and long silences. In the last months we found a quieter way to be together. I am grateful for that time.
• He could be distant. He could also show up in surprising ways. I learned patience and how to make room for people who are doing their best even when it is imperfect.
• We had hard years. We also had a last year that felt like a reset. I will carry the small kindnesses we ended on.

Using humor the right way

Humor can release tension and let people breathe. Use earned jokes that come from real habits or stories. Test any joke on a trusted friend. Avoid anything that will single out or embarrass someone in the audience.

Safe humor examples

• Dad had two speeds, grumpy and grumpier. If you asked him to smile he would pretend to check his watch first.
• He treated his lawn like a personal project. It looked perfect until you asked him a question. Then it was suddenly a modern art exhibit of tools.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a therapy session or sparking family arguments.
• Avoid gossip or private secrets that will hurt people present.
• Avoid reading long lists of achievements without stories that make them human.
• Avoid using clichés without a detail that makes them real.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples you can personalize. Each follows the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and speak them in your own voice.

Example 1: Tender and short, about three minutes

Hello. I am Maya, his daughter. I want to say a few words about my pappa, Frank.

Frank grew up near the river and he lived most of his life in the same town. He worked as an electrician and could make anything with a wire and patience. He loved Saturday breakfasts, simple coffee, and telling stories about getting lost when he was young.

One memory that shows who he was happened last summer. The storm knocked out our power and while everyone was frustrated he showed up with candles and a camping stove. He made pancakes by flashlight and told us to stop worrying. He made the small things matter less and the people matter more.

He taught me to keep a toolbox, to say sorry when I was wrong, and to make time for people who need company. We will miss his steady hands and the way he made ruined days fixable. Thank you for being here and for remembering him with us.

Example 2: Short and funny, less than two minutes

Hi. I am Ben, his son. My pappa had two passions. One was his ridiculous collection of novelty ties. The other was telling the same joke at every family dinner. If you ever laughed at that joke it was because he believed in the laugh more than the joke. He taught me to not take life too seriously and to bring extra dessert. We will miss his wardrobe choices and his belief that a bad joke can fix a bad day.

Example 3: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful

Hello. My name is Josie. My relationship with my pappa, Tom, was complicated. There were years when we did not speak and years of small reparation. He was not perfect. He made mistakes and he owned some of them. In the last year he learned to listen and to say he was sorry for things he had not said sorry for before. That mattered to me more than any list of accomplishments. I learned how to forgive and how to hold someone with the knowledge that you can love a person and still be honest about their faults.

Example 4: Celebration of life tone

Hey. I am Marco, his oldest kid. If you knew my pappa you know he loved two things with equal ferocity. One was his old pickup truck. The other was getting the best damn hot dog on any road trip. Today we are here to celebrate all the little victorious things he loved and the ridiculous rules he had about mustard. He taught us to chase good food, to tell dumb jokes, and to fix flat tires. We will miss him. Let s remember him by taking a small adventure this week and telling the story of his favorite hot dog stand.

Fill in the blank templates

Fill in these blanks then read the result out loud and trim anything that sounds forced. These templates make it fast to get started.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Pappa s name] [son daughter child]. [Pappa s name] was born in [place or year]. He worked as [job]. He loved [hobby or habit]. One memory that shows the kind of man he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for holding him in your memory.

Template B: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Pappa s name] was complicated at times. We fought about [small example]. Over time I came to appreciate [something positive]. In the last [months years] we [reconnected found peace]. If I could say one thing to him now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C: Light and funny with sincerity

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Pappa s name] was to know that [quirky habit]. He also made sure we learned [life skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. He made us laugh and he taught us to [practical lesson]. I will miss his jokes and his ridiculous collection of [thing]. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These practical tactics help keep you steady and felt human.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to handle than a phone when you are emotional.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines each help you keep place and reduce the chance of full stops that feel permanent.
• Mark pauses Put a clear bracket where you want to breathe or where a laugh will land. Pauses give you time to collect yourself.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend or a mirror. Practice helps your throat know what to expect.
• Bring tissues and water Keep a handkerchief or tissues handy and a small bottle of water to slow a shaking voice.
• Have a backup Ask a family member to be ready to finish one sentence if you cannot continue. Decide on a signal so they know when to step in.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly to avoid trailing off. If there is no mic project gently to the back row.

When you want to cry while reading

If tears come that is normal. Pause, breathe, swallow, and then continue. If your voice breaks slow down and say one short sentence at a time. You are allowed to be human. The audience will be patient. If you cannot continue have your backup person step in and finish with one or two sentences that you have agreed on in advance.

How to include readings, poems, and music

Short readings work best. If you want a poem choose a two to four line excerpt instead of a long piece. Readings can be spiritual or secular. Confirm with the officiant and print the text in the program when possible.

Music choices

• Pick songs your pappa loved or songs that match the tone of the service.
• If live music is not possible ask the venue if a recorded track can play between speakers.
• Keep music short and place it where it supports the speech for example before the eulogy or as a brief interlude after a powerful line.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone or printed copies of your speech.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they need it for the program or memory book.

After the eulogy

People will likely ask for a copy. Offer to email it to interested family and friends. Families sometimes include the eulogy in a printed program or memory book. You can also record the audio and share it privately. A recording can comfort family members who could not attend.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark emotional beats and pauses in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a glass of water if allowed.
• Tell a trusted person you might need help and arrange a small signal if you want them to finish.

Recording the eulogy and sharing it

Ask permission before posting a recording online. Some families want privacy. If you do share include a short note about where donations might go if the family has set a fund. Be mindful of the pappa s values when choosing where to share.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech spoken at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death with biographical facts and service details.
• Order of service The schedule for the funeral or memorial listing speakers, readings, and music.
• Pallbearer Person chosen to carry a casket. Usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A gathering that emphasizes stories and memories rather than formal rituals.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort for people nearing the end of life and support for families.
• RSVP Request for a response to an invitation. It stands for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Start with your name and relationship to your pappa. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Pappa s Name] child gives context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to step in and finish a short closing line. A backup person removes pressure.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes. Small earned humor often helps people breathe. Use jokes that are rooted in real memories and that will not embarrass anyone. Follow a joke with a sincere line to bring the tone back to respect.

How long should my eulogy be

Three to seven minutes is a good target. Short focused remarks are usually more memorable than long undirected speeches. Coordinate with other speakers so total time fits the event plan.

Should I include religious language if the family is not religious

Only if it was meaningful to your pappa or the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories. A short poem or a favorite quote can replace prayer language.

Is it okay to record and share the speech online

Ask the family first. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved include a short note about who to contact for questions and whether donations are being accepted in memory of your pappa.