Writing a eulogy for your papi can feel impossible and necessary at the same time. You want to honor him, reflect who he was, and make room for emotion while staying grounded. This guide gives you real structure, cultural notes, sample scripts you can adapt, and delivery tips that actually work. We explain terms you might not know and give templates so you can start writing with confidence.
We know how hard that can feel. You are sorting through precious memories, searching for the right words, and trying to hold it together when it is time to speak. It is a lot to carry.
That is why we created a simple step by step eulogy writing guide. It gently walks you through what to include, how to shape your thoughts, and how to feel more prepared when the moment comes. → Find Out More
Quick Links to Useful Sections
- Who this guide is for
- What is a eulogy
- Who is papi
- Terms you might see and what they mean
- How long should a eulogy be
- Before you start writing
- Structure that works
- How to write the opening
- How to write the life sketch
- Anecdotes that matter
- Using Spanish in your eulogy
- Addressing complicated relationships
- Using humor the right way
- What to avoid in a eulogy
- Full eulogy examples you can adapt
- Example 1: Short and heartfelt 2 to 3 minute version
- Example 2: Celebration of life with humor
- Example 3: Complicated relationship with honesty
- Example 4: Short modern eulogy under two minutes
- Fill in the blank templates
- Practical tips for delivery
- When you want to cry while reading
- How to include readings, prayers, music and photos
- Logistics and who to tell
- Sharing the eulogy afterwards
- Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Frequently asked questions
Who this guide is for
This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about their father or father figure at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, or vigil. You might be his child, godchild, nephew, or someone who stood in as a son or daughter. Maybe you grew up bilingual and want to include Spanish phrases. Maybe your relationship was complicated. There are examples for tender, funny, messy, and short needs.
What is a eulogy
A eulogy is a short speech given to honor a person who has died. It usually appears during a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is personal. It is a story, not a resume. An obituary is different. An obituary is a written notice that covers basic facts about the death, service times, and survivors. A eulogy is about memory, character, and what the person meant to you.
Who is papi
Papi is a Spanish word that means dad or daddy. Depending on family and culture, it can be playful, respectful, or full of affection. Some families use papi as their everyday name for father. Some use it alongside father or papá. If you plan to use Spanish phrases in your eulogy, we include translations and suggestions so people who do not speak Spanish still follow along.
Terms you might see and what they mean
- Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who died.
- Obituary A written notice announcing a death and usually including service details and biographical facts.
- Order of service The list that shows the sequence of events for the funeral or memorial. Think of it as the program for the event.
- Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memories rather than formal rituals.
- Wake A gathering before the funeral where people visit, share memories, and offer condolences.
- Viewing A time when the body is present for people to say goodbye. Not all families choose a viewing.
- Rosary A set of prayers in the Catholic tradition often said as a group before a funeral. The rosary includes Hail Mary prayers and a reflection on the life of Jesus and Mary.
- Misa Spanish for mass. A Catholic funeral mass includes Eucharist and formal prayers. Not all families have mass as part of the service.
- Hospice Medical and support care focused on comfort and quality of life near the end. Hospice care can be at home or in a facility.
- RSVP An abbreviation for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.
How long should a eulogy be
Short and clear usually reads as honest and powerful. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is roughly 400 to 800 spoken words. If you are nervous about crying, a shorter heartfelt tribute will often land better than a long speech that loses focus. If multiple people are speaking, coordinate with the family so the total time fits the event.
Before you start writing
Use this quick plan to make writing less overwhelming.
- Ask the family or officiant about time Confirm how long you are expected to speak and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
- Decide the tone Do you want to be solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? Check with close family so your tone matches the vibe and culture.
- Gather material Collect nicknames, dates, jobs, favorite sayings, memorable stories, and song choices. Ask siblings or close friends for one memory each.
- Choose three focus points Pick three things you want people to remember about your papi. Three points keep the speech focused and memorable.
- Consider language If you plan to use Spanish phrases, translate them for the audience. Decide what to read in Spanish and what to read in English.
Structure that works
Use a simple shape that gives your listeners something to follow.
- Opening Say your name and your relationship to papi. Offer one line that sets the tone.
- Life sketch A brief overview of his life in practical strokes. Focus on roles like son, father, worker, neighbor, or community leader.
- Anecdotes One or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific and sensory.
- Traits and lessons Summarize values he passed on or what people will miss most.
- Closing Offer a final goodbye line, a short quote, a poem excerpt, or a call to action like sharing a memory at the reception.
How to write the opening
Start simple. Say who you are and how you knew him. Then say one sentence that anchors the speech.
Opening examples
- Hi everyone. I am Carlos. I am his son. My papi was the kind of man who answered the phone before it even finished ringing because he wanted to help.
- Hello. I am Ana, his daughter. To know papi was to know your seat at his table was always waiting and your coffee always strong.
- Good afternoon. My name is Luis. I was Maria s husband and I learned from papi that a promise kept matters more than a speech.
How to write the life sketch
The life sketch is not a full resume. Pick the facts that matter to your story. Use plain language and avoid listing every job. Think about the roles in his life and the things that shaped him.
Life sketch templates
- [Name] was born in [place] and raised in [town]. He worked as [job] and later as [job]. He was a son, brother, papi, abuelo, and friend to many.
- [Name] moved to [city] when he was [age]. He loved [hobby], cooked the best [dish], and never missed a family birthday.
Anecdotes that matter
People remember stories more than statements. Pick one or two short memories that show who he was. Keep them sensory and end with why it matters.
Examples of short anecdotes
- When I was eight he taught me to change a tire. He said if you can fix a flat you can handle most of life. I still picture him kneeling in the dirt and laughing when I fumbled the lug nuts.
- Every Sunday he made arroz con pollo that filled the hallway with smell. He let us stir the pot and always told us to taste until the rice smiled back at you.
- He kept a little notebook with names of people he wanted to call on their birthday. He never missed a call. That small habit taught me more about loyalty than any speech I heard growing up.
Using Spanish in your eulogy
Using Spanish can feel intimate and true. Decide whether to translate out loud or to include a printed translation in the program. Small phrases work well and bring the room close.
Quick translation tips
- If you say te amo say in a sentence what it means in English as well. For example, I told him te amo, which means I love you.
- Use key phrases that many people will recognize, such as gracias, te extraño, or descansa en paz. Explain them if the audience is mixed.
- Avoid long paragraphs in Spanish unless you know the audience will understand or you provide a translation in the program.
Addressing complicated relationships
Not every relationship with papi is uncomplicated. If your relationship was strained be honest and respectful. You do not need to air private grievances in public. Acknowledge complexity and point to lessons or closure.
Examples for complicated relationships
- My relationship with my papi was not perfect. We argued and we made up. In recent years we found a quieter way to understand each other. I am grateful for that time.
- He could be strict and stubborn. He also taught me resilience and how to stand my ground. Those lessons have shaped me even when they felt harsh.
- We had distance for many years. In his last months we sat and talked and I got to know the man behind the rules. That knowledge was a gift.
Using humor the right way
Humor can feel like permission to breathe. Use small, earned jokes not shock value. Test jokes with a trusted family member. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the audience.
Safe humor examples
- Papi had a system for everything. He labeled the leftover containers with dates and advice. We joked he was trying to label our futures as well.
- He loved to dance even when the music was only in his head. If you saw him at a party you learned that joy is louder than pride.
What to avoid in a eulogy
- Avoid turning the eulogy into a therapy session or a platform for family disputes.
- Avoid unfiltered gossip or private family secrets that could hurt people present.
- Avoid reading long lists of achievements without stories to make them human.
- Avoid clichés unless you give them a specific detail that proves them true.
Full eulogy examples you can adapt
Below are complete examples you can personalize. Each one follows the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and read aloud to trim or expand as needed.
Example 1: Short and heartfelt 2 to 3 minute version
Hi everyone. I am Maria and I am his daughter. My papi, Juan, loved early morning coffee and late night domino games. He taught me two things more than anything else. First, always show up when family needs you. Second, laugh even when life is messy.
He worked with his hands and with his heart. He fixed roofs and hearts in equal measure. One small memory is of him teaching me to make his arroz con pollo. He let me stir the pot and pretended I was ruining it until the first spoonful made us both laugh. That laugh is the sound I will carry with me.
We will miss his steady presence, his jokes, and the way he made our house a home. Te extraño papi. Thank you for everything.
Example 2: Celebration of life with humor
Hello. I am Carlos, his son. If you knew my papi you knew two things. He could fix anything and he thought salsa music cured bad moods. He also had a rule about socks. If your socks were mismatched he would quietly fix them and shake his head like he was giving you one last chance to be orderly.
He made us laugh, he fed us well, and he danced like nobody was watching. Today we celebrate his stubborn joy and his terrible dad jokes. Please smile with us as we remember him and maybe dance a little in his honor. Gracias, papi.
Example 3: Complicated relationship with honesty
My name is Lucia. My relationship with papi was complicated. He was strict and he expected things of me that I did not always understand. Over time I learned that his expectations came from love, not perfection. In the last year we found a place of calm and apology that felt like healing. I will carry that healing forward and I am grateful for the chance to say thank you and goodbye.
Example 4: Short modern eulogy under two minutes
Hi everyone. I am Diego. Papi was the guy who always had a joke and a banda playlist ready. He taught me to dance before I could walk and to say te amo out loud when it matters. Thank you for being here to hold his memory with us.
Fill in the blank templates
Use these templates as a starting point. Fill in the blanks and then read out loud and edit until it sounds like you.
Template A: Classic short
My name is [Your Name]. I am [papi name] [son daughter child]. [Papi name] was born in [place] and loved [one hobby]. He worked as [job] and was the person we called when [small task]. One memory that shows who he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Gracias for being here and for holding his memory.
Template B: For complicated relationships
My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [papi name] was complex. We argued about [small example]. Over time I came to appreciate [something positive]. In the last [months years] we [reconciled spoke often found peace]. If I could say one thing to him now it would be [short line you want to say].
Template C: Light and funny with sincerity
Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [papi name] was to know that [quirky habit]. He also made sure we learned [life practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. He made us laugh and he made us better at [task]. I will miss his jokes and the way he danced in the kitchen. Thank you.
Practical tips for delivery
Speaking while grieving is hard. These practical tactics keep you steady.
- Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to manage when emotions run high.
- Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines on each card help you keep pace and reduce the chance of losing your place.
- Mark pauses Put a note where you want to breathe or where the audience will laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup and let moments land.
- Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend or to yourself. Practice tells your mouth and throat what to expect.
- Have a backup reader If you think you might not finish, arrange for someone else to step in and finish a line if needed.
- Bring tissues and water These small things help you stay comfortable while speaking.
- Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If there is no mic speak clearly and project to the back row.
When you want to cry while reading
If tears come that is normal. Pause, breathe, and look down at your notes. Slow your words. Let the room hold you. If your voice breaks that can be powerful. Saying fewer words more slowly is often more meaningful than rushing through everything. The audience expects emotion and will wait for you to continue.
How to include readings, prayers, music and photos
Short readings work best. If you include a poem pick a two to four line excerpt rather than a long poem. For prayers check with family about religious language. For music pick songs your papi loved or songs that match the tone of the event. Place music where it supports the speech, for example before the eulogy or as a short interlude. Photos can be displayed in a slideshow or on a memory table so people can share memories during a reception.
Logistics and who to tell
- Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
- Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
- Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they want to include it in the program or read a line.
- Ask family if they want certain things included or omitted. It is better to check than to surprise people in the moment.
Sharing the eulogy afterwards
People often ask for a copy. Offer to email a typed version to family and close friends. Some families include the eulogy in a printed program or upload it to a memorial website. If you record the eulogy ask permission before posting it online. Some families want privacy.
Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Eulogy A speech delivered to honor someone who has died.
- Obituary A written announcement about a death with service details.
- Order of service The schedule of events for a funeral or memorial.
- Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket at the funeral.
- Celebration of life A ceremony that focuses on stories and memories rather than ritual.
- Wake A gathering before the funeral where people come to pay respects and share memories.
- Viewing A time when the body is present for people to say goodbye.
- Rosary A Catholic set of prayers often said before a funeral.
- Misa Spanish for mass. A Catholic ceremony that may be part of a funeral.
- Hospice Care focused on comfort near the end of life.
- RSVP Please respond. Used to ask people to confirm attendance.
Frequently asked questions
How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous
Begin with your name and your relationship to papi. A short sentence like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Papi name] son or daughter gives the audience context and gives you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you when you begin.
What if I forget my place or start crying
Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. If you cannot continue have a designated family member or friend ready to finish with a prepared sentence. People will wait and they want to support you.
Should I speak in Spanish or English
Choose what feels honest. If your family is bilingual you can use a mix. Provide short translations for the audience. For example you can say te extraño and then say I miss you so everyone follows. Keep longer passages in one language and give the audience a translation if needed in the program.
Can I use humor in a eulogy
Yes. Small, earned humor is usually welcome. Use stories that show character. Avoid jokes that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members. Follow a joke with a sincere sentence to bring the tone back to remembrance.
How long should the eulogy be
Three to seven minutes is a good target. Shorter eulogies are often more memorable. If many people are speaking coordinate times with the family so the service stays on schedule.
Can I read the eulogy from my phone
Yes you can, but make sure the screen will be readable in the venue and the device will not ring or vibrate. Many people prefer paper or printed index cards because they are easier to handle when emotions run high.
Is it okay to include a prayer or religious line if not everyone is religious
If the prayer was important to your papi include it but keep it short and respectful. You can also offer a brief secular reading for those who prefer it. Coordinate with the officiant so everyone understands what will be included.
What if my family asks me not to say certain things
Respect their wishes. Funerals are family events and decisions about content should reflect the family s needs. If you disagree ask to talk privately about why certain items are sensitive and find a compromise.