Saying a few words about your padre can feel impossible and necessary at the same time. Whether padre means your dad, an adoptive father figure, or a chaplain who meant the world to you, this guide gives a clear, usable method plus real examples and fill in the blank templates you can use. We explain terms you might not know and give delivery tips that actually work. Read through, pick a template, and start writing with confidence.
We know how hard that can feel. You are sorting through precious memories, searching for the right words, and trying to hold it together when it is time to speak. It is a lot to carry.
That is why we created a simple step by step eulogy writing guide. It gently walks you through what to include, how to shape your thoughts, and how to feel more prepared when the moment comes. → Find Out More
Quick Links to Useful Sections
- Who this guide is for
- What we mean by padre
- Terms you might see
- How long should a eulogy for your padre be
- Before you start writing
- Structure that works
- Picking the tone
- How to write the opening
- How to write the life sketch
- Anecdotes that matter
- Addressing complicated relationships
- Using humor the right way
- What to avoid in a eulogy
- Full eulogy examples you can adapt
- Example 1: Loving practical dad three to four minute version
- Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes
- Example 3: For a padre who was a priest or chaplain
- Example 4: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful
- Fill in the blank templates
- Practical tips for delivery
- If you cry while speaking
- How to include readings, poems, and music
- Logistics and who to tell
- Recording and sharing the eulogy
- Checklist before you step up to speak
- Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Frequently asked questions
Who this guide is for
This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about their padre at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, or church ceremony. Maybe you were the obvious pick because you were his child, the person who called him most often, or the one who could speak without turning it into a therapy session. Maybe your relationship was complicated. That is okay. There are sample scripts for tender, funny, messy, and short needs. If your padre was a priest or chaplain we include options that respect religious practice and service structure.
What we mean by padre
The word padre can mean different things in different communities. For many people it is an affectionate word for father. In some contexts the word refers to a priest, pastor, or military chaplain. This guide uses padre broadly to mean any man who filled a fatherly role in your life. If your padre was a religious leader we include examples that honor faith and ritual. If he was a dad who made bad jokes and great coffee we include modern, casual options.
Terms you might see
- Eulogy A speech given at a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life to honor the person who has died.
- Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes biographical facts and service details.
- Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events, readings, and speakers. Think of it as the program.
- Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually close friends or family.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories, photos, and memories rather than rituals.
- Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can take place at home or in a facility.
- Clergy A religious leader who may officiate a funeral. This can be a priest, pastor, imam, rabbi, or chaplain.
- Chaplain A clergy person who serves in institutions such as the military, hospitals, or prisons. They may be called padre in some communities.
- RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. Used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.
How long should a eulogy for your padre be
Short and clear is better than long and vague. Aim for three to seven minutes. That usually equals about four hundred to eight hundred spoken words. If you are nervous about crying a short heartfelt tribute can be more powerful than a long speech that loses focus.
Before you start writing
Preparation makes everything easier. Use this quick plan.
- Ask the family or officiant about time Confirm how long you are expected to speak and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
- Decide the tone Do you want to be solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? Check with close family so the tone fits the person and the audience.
- Gather material Collect dates, milestones, nicknames, short stories, and favorite sayings. Ask siblings or friends for one memory each.
- Choose three focus points Pick three main things you want people to remember. Three is small enough to hold in one speech and large enough to give shape.
- Pick your opening line A clear opening buys you a breath and centers the room. We give examples below.
Structure that works
Good structure gives permission to the listener and to you. Use this simple shape.
- Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one sentence that sets the tone.
- Life sketch Give a brief overview of your padre s life in practical strokes. Focus on roles like son, husband, father, worker, volunteer, or chaplain.
- Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific.
- Traits and lessons Summarize the values he passed on or the things people will miss.
- Closing Offer a goodbye line, a quote, a poem excerpt, or a call to action like lighting a candle or sharing a memory.
Picking the tone
Tone matters and tone should reflect the life you are honoring. If your padre loved Sunday mass and ritual keep the tone reverent. If he loved loud music and cooking keep the tone more relaxed. If your relationship was complicated you can be honest without being hurtful. If you are unsure ask one trusted family member to read a draft.
How to write the opening
The opening is where you set the stage. Do not overcomplicate it. Start with your name and your relationship to your padre. Then say one clear sentence about what the day is for.
Opening examples
- Good morning. I am Carlos and I am Felipe s oldest son. Today we are here to remember how he made the whole block smell like his grill and laughter.
- Hi everyone. I am Maria. Padre Martinez was my father and my priest. I want to say one quick thing about how he offered kindness with no drama and no questions asked.
- Hello. I am Sam, his daughter. My dad taught me how to fix a leaky faucet and how to be stubborn about doing the right thing.
How to write the life sketch
The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for the story you are telling. Use plain language and avoid listing every job. Think about the roles your padre played that shaped his life and yours.
Life sketch templates
- [Name] was born in [place] in [year]. He worked as a [job] and later as a [job or role]. He was a son, a husband, a father to [names or count], and a friend to many.
- [Name] came to [city] when he was [age or stage]. He loved [hobby], he made the best [food], and he never passed up a chance to [habit].
Anecdotes that matter
People remember stories more than statements. Anecdotes ground your speech. Keep them short, sensory, and with a small payoff. A good story has a setup, an action, and a line that explains why it matters.
Examples of very short anecdotes
- When I was six he taught me to tie my shoes by saying two silly words. I still say those words when I am nervous and they make me smile.
- He had a rule at Sunday dinner. If you were late you had to wash the dishes. We were all late once and learned to value punctuality and comedy at the same time.
- On long drives he hummed a hymn softly and the rest of us sang terrible harmonies. He made room for our noise. That was his way of saying you are safe here.
Addressing complicated relationships
Not every relationship with a padre is uncomplicated. If your relationship was strained you can still speak honestly and with dignity. Focus on truth and intention. You do not need to air private grievances in public. You can acknowledge difficulty and point to lessons or closure.
Examples for complicated relationships
- My relationship with my father was not simple. We had arguments that lasted weeks and conversations that changed everything. In the end we found a quieter place of understanding and I am grateful for that.
- He could be blunt and stubborn. He also taught me how to stand up for myself and how to be kind in small ways. Those lessons were hard then and useful now.
- We did not always see eye to eye. Still, he wanted the best for me. I choose to remember the moments he showed up.
Using humor the right way
Humor can feel like permission to breathe. Use small earned jokes not shock value. Test them with someone who will tell you honestly if the joke lands. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the audience.
Safe humor examples
- Dad had two speeds, fast and faster. If the soccer game started at noon he would be there at eleven thirty chewing loudly and cheering early.
- He believed a proper breakfast could solve global problems. He was rarely wrong about bacon counts and bad puns.
What to avoid in a eulogy
- Avoid letting the eulogy become a therapy session or a place for family disputes.
- Avoid unfiltered gossip or private family secrets that could hurt people present.
- Avoid listing achievements without stories to make them human.
- Avoid clichés without a specific detail that makes them true.
Full eulogy examples you can adapt
Below are complete examples you can personalize. Each one follows the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details.
Example 1: Loving practical dad three to four minute version
Hello. I am Ana, his daughter. It is an honor to say a few words about my padre, Luis.
Luis grew up in San Antonio and moved to this city when he was twenty three. He worked as a mechanic for over thirty years. He had a talent for fixing what we thought was broken and for knowing when to sit quietly and listen. He married Rosa and together they raised four kids who learned how to change a tire and how to be unfairly proud of their abuela s cooking.
One small story that captures him is about Saturday mornings. He would make coffee that could be used as an engine fluid and then sit with the paper. If anyone dared fold the paper the wrong way he would correct it like a small judge of good manners. We teased him and he would pretend offense, but he always saved the comics for us.
He taught us to be punctual, to apologize when we were wrong, and to send a thank you note when it mattered. His generosity was quiet. He coached little league for years and he showed up for neighbors. He was someone who believed in doing the small things well.
We will miss his laugh in the garage and the way he fixed the world with tape and patience. I will miss him more than words can carry, but I am better for his being in my life. Thank you for being here and for holding his memory with us.
Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes
Hi everyone. I am Marco and I am Pablo s son. Dad loved loud music, early morning walks, and terrible tacos. He taught me how to be brave and how to call my grandma more often. He was our anchor. Thank you for being here to celebrate him with us.
Example 3: For a padre who was a priest or chaplain
My name is Father Miguel s son, Tomas. Padre Miguel served this parish and this community for thirty five years. He did not just preach compassion, he practiced it. I watched him sit with people at bedsides, pray quietly at noon, and laugh with children in the backyard after baptisms. He taught us how to listen to God and how to listen to people. Today we grieve and we give thanks. May his service continue to inspire us in small acts of mercy.
Example 4: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful
My name is Sofia. My father, Jorge, could be difficult in ways that taught me how to set boundaries. We had fights that lasted days and reconciliations that felt like small repairs. He pushed me hard and he loved me harder. In his last months we spoke plainly about things we had kept inside. That felt like peace. I am grateful for that. He taught me resilience and how to forgive. Thank you, Dad.
Fill in the blank templates
Fill in the blanks and then edit to make it sound like you. Read it out loud and trim anything that sounds forced.
Template A classic short
My name is [Your Name]. I am [Padre s Name] child. [Padre s Name] was born in [place or year]. He loved [one hobby], he worked as [job], and he was the person we called when [small task or habit]. One memory that shows the kind of person he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.
Template B for complicated relationships
My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Padre s Name] was complex. We did not always understand each other. We fought about [small example]. Over time I came to appreciate [something positive]. In the last [months years] we [reconciled spoke often found peace]. If I could say one thing to him now it would be [short line you want to say].
Template C light and funny with sincerity
Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Padre s Name] was to know that [quirky habit]. He also made sure we learned [life practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. Even his jokes had work to do. He made us laugh and he made us better at doing laundry properly. I will miss his jokes and his exacting towel folding. Thank you.
Practical tips for delivery
Speaking while grieving is hard. These practical tactics keep you steady.
- Print your speech Use large font. Do not try to read from your phone unless you have practiced with it. Paper can be less distracting.
- Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines on each card are easy to manage and reduce the chance of losing your place.
- Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where the audience will laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup.
- Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, to a mirror, or to your dog. Practice tells your throat what to expect.
- Bring tissues Or a handkerchief. Wet eyes are normal. If you stop, breathe, swallow, and continue. The audience will wait.
- Ask for help If you think you will not get through it, arrange for someone to introduce you and to step in to finish a line if needed.
- Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal volume. If there is no mic, speak slowly and project to the back row.
If you cry while speaking
If tears come that is fine. Pause, breathe, look down at your notes, and then continue. If your voice breaks slow down. Saying fewer words more slowly is often more powerful. Remember you are allowed to be human in that room. If you need a moment ask for it. People will give it to you.
How to include readings, poems, and music
Short readings work best. If you include a poem pick a two to four line excerpt rather than reading a long piece. Readings can be religious or secular. Confirm the officiant is comfortable with the piece and print the text in the program if possible.
Music choices
- Pick songs your padre loved or songs that match the tone of the event.
- If live music is not possible ask the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers.
- Keep music short and place it where it supports the speech for example before the eulogy or as a brief interlude after a powerful line.
Logistics and who to tell
- Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
- Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
- Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they need it for the program.
Recording and sharing the eulogy
Ask permission before posting a recording online. Some families want privacy. If you do share add a brief note about donations if gifts are being collected or about how people can send memories to the family.
Checklist before you step up to speak
- Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
- Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
- Practice at least three times out loud.
- Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
- Bring tissues and a glass of water if allowed.
- Tell a family member you might need a moment and arrange a small signal if you want them to finish if needed.
Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
- Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
- Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
- Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories and photos rather than rituals.
- Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life.
- Clergy A religious leader who may officiate a funeral such as a priest or pastor.
- Chaplain A clergy person who serves in institutions such as the military or hospitals. Some call their chaplain padre as a sign of respect.
- RSVP Abbreviation for respond s il vous plait which asks people to confirm attendance.
Frequently asked questions
How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous
Begin with your name and relationship to the deceased. A short opening sentence like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Padre s Name] child gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.
What if I forget my place or start crying
Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated family member or friend ready to finish a line. Having a short note someone else can pick up from helps in this scenario.
Should I include religious language if the family is not religious
Only if it was meaningful to your padre or to the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories instead. You can include a brief reading that matches the family s beliefs instead of prayer language.
How do I balance humor and respect
Use humor that is rooted in a real story that shows character. Avoid jokes that might embarrass or exclude listeners. Follow up a joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone. Humor can open hearts but should never be used to deflect grief.
Can I read the eulogy from my phone
Yes you can, but make sure the screen is bright enough in the venue and that the device will not ring. Many people prefer paper or printed index cards because they are easier to manage when emotions run high.
How long should a eulogy be
Three to seven minutes is a good target. Short speeches tend to be memorable. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times so the service stays within the planned schedule.
Is it okay to record and share the eulogy online
Check with family before posting. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved provide a short description and be mindful of any wishes the deceased expressed while alive.