How to Write a Eulogy for Your Pa - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your Pa feels impossible and necessary at the same time. You want it to sound like him. You want to tell the right stories and not get lost in details. You also might be grieving and short on time. This guide gives a clear path to write a heartfelt tribute that actually sounds like you and like him. We explain any terms you might not know and include real example scenarios you can adapt. Read through, pick a template, and start writing with confidence.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about their Pa at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service. Maybe you were the kid who handled the calls or you were the one who made him laugh the loudest. Maybe your relationship was complicated. That is okay. There are sample scripts for short needs, for funny tributes, for complicated relationships, and for people who are nervous about speaking publicly.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech given to honor someone who has died. It is usually part of a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written public notice that gives facts like birth and death dates and service information. A eulogy is personal. It is a story about how that person lived and the ways they mattered to people.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A written notice about a death that includes biographical facts and service details. Think of it as a public announcement.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial listing readings, music, and speakers. It works like a program for the event.
• Pallbearer Someone chosen to carry the casket. Usually a close friend or family member.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories and memories instead of rituals.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for people nearing the end of life. Hospice can be in a home or a facility.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy for your Pa be

Short and clear is better than long and vague. Aim for three to five minutes for a single speaker. If you speak for longer you risk losing listeners with too many details. Three to five minutes usually equals about 400 to 700 spoken words. If you are nervous, a shorter tribute that hits the important notes is often more powerful.

Before you start writing

Take a breath. Then take five minutes to plan. A little structure makes everything easier. Use this quick checklist.

• Confirm logistics Ask the family or officiant how long you are expected to speak and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
• Pick the tone Decide if you want the eulogy to be solemn, funny, celebratory, or a mix. Check with close family so the tone fits Pa and the audience.
• Gather material Collect nicknames, jobs, funny habits, a couple of dates or places if needed, and one to three stories. Ask siblings or friends for one memory each.
• Choose three focus points Pick three things you want people to leave remembering about Pa. Three points give shape and keep you from rambling.

Easy structure that works

Use a simple shape that gives you permission to be human. The structure below keeps the audience with you and helps you keep your place.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one line that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Briefly summarize the arc of his life. Focus on roles like son, brother, worker, veteran, gardener, or coach.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal his character. Keep them sensory and specific.
• Lessons and traits Summarize the values he modeled or the quirks people will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short quote, or a simple ask like lighting a candle or sharing a memory after the service.

How to write the opening

The opening is small but important. Start with your name and your relationship to Pa. Then say one short sentence about what the day is for. That gives you a moment to breathe and the audience context.

Opening examples

• Hello I am Sam and I am Pa s older son. Today we are here to remember the man who never met a broken lawn mower he could not fix.
• Hi everyone I am Nina his daughter. I am here to share a few things about how he taught us to be messy and to be kind at the same time.
• Good afternoon I m Alex. Pa taught me how to change a tire and how to apologize properly. I want to say a few of those things today.

Writing the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that help tell the story you want to tell. Focus on roles and moments that shaped him and shaped you.

Life sketch templates you can use

• [Name] was born in [place] and grew up learning how to [skill or hobby]. He worked as a [job] and later retired to [place or activity]. He was a husband to [name], a father to [names or number], and a friend to many.
• [Name] moved to [city] when he was [age or time]. He loved [hobby], knew everyone at the corner store, and could make a joke out of almost anything.

Anecdotes that actually land

People remember stories more than lists. Pick one or two small anecdotes that show his personality. Good stories have a setup a small action and a line that explains why it mattered.

Short anecdote examples

• Every Fourth of July he would rig a sprinkler so it ran through the driveway. We all complained and then we all went out to cool off together. He believed any excuse to get the family outside was a good one.
• He had a ritual of leaving a quarter in the pocket of anyone who complained about money. We always found coins and laughed about his old school way of reminding us to be resourceful.
• Once he tried to fix the toaster and ended up teaching us a two hour lesson about patience. It worked. The toaster has been reliable ever since.

Addressing complicated relationships

If your relationship with Pa was complicated you can still speak honestly and with dignity. You do not have to air private grievances in public. Acknowledge complexity in a way that is true to you and kind to others present.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My relationship with Pa was honest and messy. We argued about small things and made up with bigger gestures. In the end we found a quiet respect for each other that I am grateful for.
• He could be stubborn and blunt. Those traits made family dinners interesting and they also taught me how to speak up for myself. I carry that forward now.
• We did not always understand each other. Still he wanted me to be safe and to try things. I know he loved me in the only way he knew how.

Using humor the right way

Humor can be permission to breathe. Use small earned jokes not shock value. Test your lines on a trusted friend first. Avoid anything that might embarrass someone present.

Safe humor examples

• Pa had two speeds calm and faster than traffic. If you were late he would already be halfway to find you a sandwich.
• He treated his garden like a competitive sport. He kept score with the neighbors and he always won the zucchini trophy in our house.

What to avoid in a eulogy for Pa

• Avoid letting the eulogy become a forum for old family fights.
• Avoid private family secrets or hurtful details that will upset people present.
• Avoid reading a long list of jobs or awards without stories that make them human.
• Avoid clichés unless you give them a specific detail that makes them real.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and trim to fit your time limit.

Example 1: Simple and loving 3 to 4 minute version

Hi I am Daniel and I am Pa s son. It is an honor to say a few words about my father John.

John grew up in a small town where neighbors left keys under welcome mats and everyone knew when the pies were coming out of the oven. He worked as a mechanic for most of his life. He could fix an engine and he could fix a broken heart with the same steady patience. He married Linda and together they raised three kids who learned how to change oil and how to tell a terrible joke with confidence.

One small story that captures him is about Saturday mornings. Pa had a coffee ritual and a playlist that included everything from country to old rock. He would make pancakes and then read the paper with his glasses perched on his nose. If you sat down beside him he would push the plate your way and insist you take more. That little push felt like love.

He taught us to show up even when things were inconvenient. He taught us how to roll up our sleeves and how to apologize without adding conditions. His generosity was quiet but steady. We will miss his laugh in the garage and the way he always had a spare belt or a better plan. Thank you for being here and holding his memory with us.

Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes

Hi all I am Priya and I am Pa s daughter. Pa loved bad puns loud music and taking photos of every dog he met. He taught me that a project is only half done until you say you are finished and then still show up the next day. He was stubborn in the best way and kind in the way that matters. Thank you for being here to remember him with us.

Example 3: Complicated but honest

My name is Marco. My dad was complicated and that is okay. We had fights that left us both stubborn and silences that stretched too long. In later years we found a small peace in Sunday dinners and in saying I am sorry first. He made mistakes and he tried to fix them. I learned how to be direct from him and how to forgive myself. Thank you Pa for trying. I will miss your voice and those late night calls.

Example 4: Celebration of life with humor

Hello I am Jess his oldest child. If you knew Pa you know he had two rules. Rule one be kind to people who are kinder than you. Rule two always hide the good cookies behind the bread. He kept a cookie emergency supply and a laugh for every bad day. Today we celebrate his stubbornness his silliness and his steady love. Please laugh with us as we remember him through the ridiculous stories he left behind.

Fill in the blank templates

Fill in the blanks and then read the draft out loud. Trim anything that sounds forced.

Template A classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Pa s name] [son daughter child]. [Pa s name] was born in [place]. He worked as a [job]. He loved [hobby or habit] and he could always be counted on for [small reliably helpful thing]. One memory that shows who he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here.

Template B for complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Pa s name] was complicated. We did not always agree. We fought about [small example]. In the end we found a quiet place where we could sit and talk about nothing. If I could say one thing to him now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C light and funny with sincerity

Hi I am [Your Name]. To know [Pa s name] was to know that [quirky habit]. He also made sure we learned [useful life skill]. My favorite memory is [funny short story]. He made us laugh and he made us better at [domestic task or skill]. I will miss his jokes and the exact way he [small trait]. Thank you.

Delivery tips that actually help

Speaking while grieving is hard. These practical tactics will keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is less likely to glitch than a phone screen and is easier to handle when emotions run high.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines on each card reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where the audience might laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read it to a friend a mirror or your dog. Practicing helps your throat remember the rhythm.
• Bring tissues Or a handkerchief. If you stop breathe swallow and then continue. The audience will wait.
• Ask for a backup If you think you will not get through it arrange for someone to introduce you and to finish a line if needed.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If there is no mic speak at a steady volume and pace so everyone can follow.

If you think you will cry while reading

Tears are normal. If they come pause and breathe. Look down at your notes and collect yourself. If your voice breaks slow down. Saying fewer words more slowly is often more powerful than rushing. If you cannot continue ask your backup person to step in. People will understand.

Including readings poems and music

Short readings or song excerpts work best. Pick two to four lines from a poem or a brief chorus from a song that meant something to Pa. Confirm with the officiant that your choice fits the service. Print the text in the program if possible so people can follow along.

Music tips

• Choose songs that Pa loved or songs that match the tone of the event.
• If the venue cannot play recorded music ask if a friend can perform a short piece live.
• Keep music short and place it where it supports the words for example before the eulogy or as a brief interlude.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they want to include it in the program or memory book.

After the eulogy

People will likely ask for a copy. Offer to email it to interested family and friends. Families sometimes include the eulogy in the printed program or place it in a memory book. You can also record the audio and share it privately. That recording can be a comfort to relatives who could not attend.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a glass of water if allowed.
• Tell a family member you might need a moment and arrange a small signal if you want them to take over if needed.

Recording the eulogy and sharing it

Always ask permission before posting a recording online. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved add a short note about where donations will go if those are being collected or how people can share memories privately with the family.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who died.
• Obituary A written announcement that gives facts about the deceased and lists service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket usually a close friend or family member.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories photos and remembrances.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. It can be provided at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait meaning please respond. It is used on invites to request confirmation of attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Start with your name and your relationship to Pa. A brief opening line like Hi I am [Your Name] and I am Pa s daughter son gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice this opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you when you begin.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause breathe and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue ask your designated backup to finish for you. Having a short note someone else can pick up is helpful in this case.

Should I include religious language if the family is not religious

Only if it would have meant something to Pa or to the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories. You can include a brief poem or reading that matches the family s belief system instead of prayer language.

How do I balance humor and respect

Use humor that is rooted in real memories and that is kind. Avoid jokes that might embarrass the deceased or the people in the room. Follow a joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone. Humor can open the room but should not deflect from the grief.

Can I read the eulogy from my phone

Yes you can but make sure the screen will be visible in the venue and that your phone will not ring. Many people prefer printed paper or index cards because they are easier to handle when emotions run high.

How do I write a eulogy if I had a strained relationship with Pa

Be honest without being hurtful. Acknowledge complexity and share any small reconciliations or lessons you can claim. You can keep the tribute short and focus on one or two true things you learned or appreciated.

How long should a eulogy be

Three to five minutes is a good target for one speaker. If several people are speaking coordinate times so the service stays within the planned schedule.

Is it okay to record and share the eulogy online

Check with family before posting. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved provide a short description and be mindful of the deceased s wishes.