How to Write a Eulogy for Your Onkel - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Saying a few words about your onkel can feel both impossible and important. Whether your onkel was the goofy relative who showed up with weird socks or the quiet mentor who taught you how to change a tire, this guide helps you write something honest, memorable, and doable. We explain terms you might not know, give practical structure, and include several ready to use examples and templates you can adapt. Read through, pick a template, and start with one line at a time.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who needs to speak about an onkel at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service. Maybe you were the obvious choice because you were closest geographically, maybe you had the clearest memory of his jokes, or maybe the family asked you because you can stay calm while speaking. Maybe your relationship was complicated. That is okay. There are sample scripts for short, funny, formal, and messy needs.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech given at a funeral or memorial that honors the person who died. It is personal and story driven. It is different from an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that gives facts like birth and death dates, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is about memory. It is allowed to be imperfect and emotional.

Terms you might see

• Onkel This is the German word for uncle. People often use it in English families who speak German or who like the feel of the word.
• Obituary A published notice announcing a death with basic biographical details and service information.
• Order of service The schedule for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of readings, music, and speakers. Think of it as the event program.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket. Pallbearers are usually close family or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and remembering rather than ritual.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. It can be provided at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy for an onkel be

Short and clear beats long and rambling. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is about 400 to 800 spoken words. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times so the service stays on schedule. A compact, well told story will land better than a long list of facts.

Before you start writing

Preparation makes the writing and the delivery easier. Use this simple plan.

• Ask about time Check with the family or officiant how long you should speak and where your remarks fit in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want to be solemn, funny, celebratory, reflective, or a mix? Confirm that the tone fits what the family wants.
• Gather memories Ask siblings, cousins, and his friends for one memory each. Small specific stories matter more than long biographies.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about your onkel. Three gives shape without being overwhelming.
• Plan your opening and closing Have a simple opening that states who you are and why you are speaking. End with a single line that feels like goodbye.

Structure that works

Use a simple shape that listeners can follow. A clear structure helps you stay on track while you feel emotional.

• Opening Say your name and your relationship to the onkel. Offer one sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of his life with a few practical strokes. No need for a full timeline.
• Anecdotes Share one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific.
• Lessons and traits Summarize the values he lived or what people in the room are likely to miss.
• Closing Offer a short goodbye, quote, or call to action like raising a glass or sharing a favorite memory.

Writing the opening

Keep the opening simple. It helps both you and the audience settle in. Start with your name and relationship. Then say one small true sentence about him.

Opening examples you can use

• Hello, my name is Lena and I am Tom s niece. I am honored to say a few words about my onkel Tom.
• Hi everyone, I am Omar, his nephew. My onkel loved terrible dad jokes and terrible karaoke with equal passion.
• Good afternoon, I am Noor, his niece. My onkel was the family fixer and the person we called when something needed to be fixed now.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that help the story you want to tell. Focus on roles and habits more than a list of jobs.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place] and worked as [job]. He loved [hobby] and had a soft spot for [small thing]. He was a brother, a husband, a father to [names], and a proud onkel to many.
• [Name] moved to [city] when he was [age]. He liked to spend Saturdays doing [habit]. He never met a stray dog he did not adopt and he never met a joke he did not tell.

Anecdotes that land

People remember stories not lists. Choose one or two short anecdotes that show who your onkel was. Keep them sensory and end with why that moment mattered.

Quick anecdote examples

• When I was seven my onkel taught me how to ride a bike. He ran beside me down the street pretending to be terribly slow so I would believe I was doing it by myself. He let me wobble and fall and then he cheered louder than anyone else.
• He had a rule about family dinners. If you arrived late you had to do the dishes. We were very careful about timing for obvious reasons.
• He built birdhouses with whatever scrap wood he could find. Each one had a tiny door he insisted on sanding by hand. He called them bird condos and he would check them like a proud landlord.

Using humor the right way

Humor can give people permission to breathe. Use small, earned jokes that reveal character. Test them on someone you trust. Avoid humor that might embarrass the deceased or single out relatives in the room.

Safe funny lines

• My onkel collected ties that looked like bad art. He wore them anyway and called them conversation starters. They were very effective.
• He had only two speeds, nap time and full sprint. If you saw him at a yard sale you knew he was in full sprint mode.

Addressing complicated relationships

If your relationship with your onkel was complicated you can still speak honestly and with respect. You do not need to air private grievances. Acknowledge complexity and point to something you learned or a moment of reconciliation.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My onkel and I did not always agree. We fought about politics and about the best way to load a dishwasher. In recent years we found a quieter place of mutual respect. I will remember those long talks about small things.
• He could be blunt and stubborn. He also taught me to stand up for myself and to keep a sense of humor. Those lessons were hard and useful.

What to avoid in a eulogy for an onkel

• Avoid making the speech a therapy session or a place for family disputes.
• Avoid gossip or private family details that could hurt people present.
• Avoid reading long lists of achievements without storytelling that makes them feel human.
• Avoid jokes that single out or embarrass someone in the audience.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and read them out loud to make edits that sound like you.

Example 1: Loving and practical onkel, three to four minute version

Hello, I am Aisha, his niece. My onkel Klaus was a man of small routines and big love. He was born in Berlin and moved here in his twenties. He worked as an electrician and could fix pretty much anything. If something in the house made a weird noise my mother would call Klaus before calling a professional.

One thing I will always remember is his Saturday coffee ritual. He would brew dark coffee, read the paper for five minutes, and then give me a tiny lecture about saving money. That lecture always came with a croissant and a look that said he loved me even as he told me I was spending too much on shoes.

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He taught me how to change a lightbulb and how to tell the difference between being careful and being afraid. He loved our family in practical ways. He showed up. He repaired. He remembered birthdays. I will miss his steady presence and his laugh that sounded like it came from the chest of someone who truly enjoyed life. Thank you for being here and for holding him with us today.

Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes

Hi, I am Marco, his nephew. My onkel loved terrible puns, loud soccer games, and somehow the best grilled cheese sandwiches. He taught me to be curious and to never be afraid to ask for help. We will miss his jokes and his unexpected advice. Thanks for celebrating him with us.

Example 3: Funny onkel with heart, celebration of life tone

Hello. I am Priya, his niece. If you knew my onkel you knew two things. First, he believed every recipe was improved with extra salt. Second, he thought every family gathering could be made better with a magic trick. He never quite learned the tricks but he loved the attempt. Today we are here to celebrate a man who made dinner taste better and life funnier. Eat the cake, tell a joke, and remember his ridiculous hats with fondness.

Example 4: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful

My name is Daniel. My relationship with my onkel was not straightforward. We argued about a lot of things when I was younger. He pushed me, sometimes in ways that were hard to accept. In the last few years we talked more. He apologized for some things and he told me stories about his own mistakes. Those conversations meant the world to me. I will remember him as someone who tried, and for that I am grateful.

Example 5: Formal graveside eulogy, two to three minutes

Good afternoon. My name is Elise and I am his niece. My onkel served his community as a teacher for over thirty years. He believed in patience, in showing up for students, and in the power of a well timed compliment. He loved his garden and he kept the neatest rows of tomatoes I have ever seen. We will remember him for his steady kindness and his refusal to accept excuses for not trying. Please join me in a moment of silence as we honor his life.

Fill in the blank templates specific to your onkel

Use these templates as starting points. Replace bracketed text and make sentences sound like you.

Template A Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Your Onkel s Name] niece nephew. [Onkel s Name] was born in [place year]. He loved [hobby], worked as [job], and could always be counted on for [small habit]. One memory that shows who he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and supporting our family.

Template B Funny and warm

Hi, I m [Your Name]. To know [Onkel s Name] was to know that [quirky habit]. He also loved [favorite snack or hobby]. My favorite memory is [funny short story]. He made us laugh and he made our family dinners louder. I will miss his jokes and the ridiculous hats. Thank you for laughing with us today.

Template C Complicated but honest

I am [Your Name]. My relationship with [Onkel s Name] was complicated. We had our fights about [small example]. Over time we [reconciled found common ground learned something]. If I could say one thing to him now it would be [short line].

Practical tips for delivery

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper can be easier than a phone if you are emotional.
• Use cue cards Index cards with a sentence or two on each card help you keep pace and reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put a mark where you want to breathe or where a laugh might happen. Pauses give you time to regroup and the audience time to react.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, into your phone, or to a plant. Hearing the words helps you find the natural rhythm.
• Bring tissues and water A small bottle of water can keep your throat from tightening. Tissues are essential.
• Have a back up reader If you think you may not finish, arrange for a family member or friend to be ready to step in and finish one or two lines.
• Mic tips Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slightly slower than normal. If there is no mic, project calmly and aim to the back row.

When you think you will cry while reading

It is normal to cry. Pause, breathe, take a sip of water, and continue. If tears make it impossible to speak you can read a single sentence and ask someone to finish. The audience understands. Being human in that moment is allowed and often deeply connective.

Including poems, readings, or music

Short excerpts tend to work best. If you choose a poem pick a two to four line selection rather than an entire long piece. Ask the officiant if they are comfortable with the reading and include the text in the printed program if that is possible.

Music choices

• Pick songs your onkel loved or tracks that match the tone of the service.
• Confirm with the venue about playing recorded music or having live music.
• Keep songs short and use them to support the words, for example a brief piece before or after your remarks.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone, lectern, or printed copies for the program.
• Confirm where you will stand and how long you may speak with the officiant.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the service so they can include it in the order of service if needed.

Recording and sharing the eulogy

Ask permission before posting a recording online. Some families want privacy. If sharing is approved include a short note about donations or how people can send memories to the family. A recorded reading can be a comfort to relatives who could not attend.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who died.
• Obituary A published notice announcing a death that usually includes service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering focused on stories and photos rather than ritual.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life near the end of life. It can be delivered at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Request for response used on invitations to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and relationship to your onkel. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Onkel s Name] niece nephew gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.

How long should I speak

Aim for three to seven minutes. That is usually enough time to tell one or two stories and leave people with a clear memory. If multiple speakers are planned confirm a time limit so the service stays on schedule.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to finish a sentence or two. Keeping a printed copy with marked pauses helps in this situation.

Can I include jokes

Yes, small earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes that come from real memories and that do not embarrass anyone in the room. Test a line with a trusted friend to see how it lands.

Should I use religious language

Only if it was meaningful to your onkel or the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories. You can include a short poem or reading that matches the family s beliefs instead of prayer language.

Is it okay to record the eulogy and post it

Ask the family before posting. Some families want privacy. If everyone agrees add a brief note and be mindful of the context. A private link for extended family is often a good compromise.